franota
Resurrection Today
Posted on: 04/12/2009 00:04
In my last blog I mentioned a friend whose husband had died. I did indeed travel to Winnipeg for the celebration of his life. Yesterday, my friend and I spoke on the phone for a long time. Something she said stuck with me, and it's been going around and around since we spoke. She said she has never felt any pain like this before, and doesn't know where to go with it. Everything seems empty, flat and gray. She can't process (her word) unexpected things, or make decisions without stress.
As we talk about Easter and resurrection, it occurred to me that this is how Mary of Magdala particularly felt as she went to the tomb on the first morning. She found a stone rolled away, and Jesus no longer there. I can hear her wailing "They have taken him away, and I do not know where they have laid him." Everything came to a crashing end, flat, empty and gray. The unexpected threw her for a loop, she could not deal with it, and found herself wailing "I do not know where he is." She went to the tomb to complete the rituals of burial, anointing with spices, a way of saying goodbye - and cannot even do that. The pain must have been truly unbearable.
The Gospel of Mark says three women went to the tomb, only to find it empty. A " young man dressed in white" tells them Jesus is no longer there, he is risen. If we believe Mark, they didn't believe it. They ran away, afraid, and told no one what happened. Isn't that how we are in the face of death? Our faith tells us resurrection is real, yet when the time comes, we aren't sure.
I struggle this week, with how to preach the Easter message to people who will see only the empty tomb, and stop there - who won't, or can't, believe that there is something more; that what we are here is a crude seed which serves as a physical body in this life, but not the end of life itself.
I struggle with it because while my friend knows in her *head* that her husband lives, her heart has too much pain. How can the Easter story ease this pain, and bring some joy?
Search
Comments
Arminius
Posted on: 04/12/2009 00:46
Hi Fran:
One of the Easter messages is that ecstasy can arise from deep despair, and exist despite despair. Knowing this intellectually doesn't help much, but experiencing it may.
I am talking about experiencing the Spirit. In deep despair we actually are quite close to that dissociative or meditative state of mind that lets us experience the Spirit.
I would to suggest to your friend not to try to get away from her pain, but immerse herself deeper in it, so deep that she loses her sense of self and experiences the Spirit of God.
Her pain will still be there, but will be tempered by ecstasy. She will experience grief and ecstasy, but the ecstasy will be stronger than the grief.
Happiness is a sad song
-Charlie Brown
Have a happily sad Easter,
Arminius
Pilgrims Progress
Posted on: 04/12/2009 05:08
Hi Fran,
I have been in that dark place where your friend is at this moment, as my husband died in December 2007.
My mother, who is also a widow, gave me advice that helped me in this painful time. She told me that all my emotions would be raw, and not to suppress any of them - and that included the odd outburst of anger. True friends would understand, and the ones that didn't you could forget about for the time being.
Her other advice was to balance your grieving - and that meant being with people at least every second day, despite what you felt like.
That said, it takes time. Grieving is both emotionally and physicaly exhausting - it takes a long time to get your energy levels back.
Ultimately, a sense of gratitude helps. I now consider I was a fortunate woman to have experienced a happy marriage with a wonderful man. A lot of women weren't so fortunate. (I wish we could have spent more time together, but I've had to accept that this wasn't to be.)
The resurrection for me is a metaphor that those we love who die live on in our hearts and thoughts.
franota
Posted on: 04/12/2009 15:31
Thank you both for these comments. Arminius, your comment to me about the "bipolar" experience of Easter made it into the sermon. So did my friend. For me, resurrection (not resuscitation) is real - as Paul said, there is a physical body and a spiritual body. Yet despite my certainty that there is something more, I weep for my friend anyway - and I am sure this is just how Mary and the disciples felt after Jesus' death. Yet they were able to go on and preach Good News.