Embracing the Offense of the Eucharist

As some of you, who have heard my story in other settings already know, I was born and raised in the Christian faith, first as a Roman Catholic, and later as a Protestant, but as a young adult I became estranged from the church altogether... and stayed away from it for a good 20 years of my life. I left because I became convinced that the church – at least the church as I had experienced it – was not really helping me to become a better, healthier, happier human being. In fact, it often seemed that the church left me feeling less whole and less at peace than I was without it. And so, I left. And during those years apart from the institutional church, I had the opportunity to explore other religions. I moved to the little island of Sri Lanka, just South of India, where I lived and studied in a Buddhist monastery for several years, until eventually I was ordained as a Buddhist monk. I served as a monk in Sri Lanka, teaching meditation, and working in the orphanages and senior citizens homes that were run by our monastery. After serving in Sri Lanka, the abbot of my monastery (kind of like a bishop) sent me to serve in other parts of the world, in India and Australia, where I became involved as a Buddhist clergy person in inter-religious projects with Hindus and Christians.

It was in one of those projects with the Diocese of Brisbane, in Australia, that I discovered that the Church which I had left some 20 years ago... had changed. Or maybe it was me who had changed. Or maybe both. I wasn't really sure, but I was discovering that I felt very comfortable and at home in the midst of Christian people who were coming together to pray and worship.

In time, it became clear to me that, although I had left the institutional church, I was still deeply connected to God, and to Jesus, at a heart level. And, as you can imagine, this was a fairly startling discovery for a Buddhist monk to make! It led me into a discernment process that culminated, a year later, in my leaving monastic life and renewing my baptismal vows in the church. I returned to Canada from Asia & began attending the Toronto School of Theology, not out of discontent with Buddhist life, but out of a renewed faith and a strong conviction that God, for some reason, wanted me in the church.

In those first years back in Canada, I received a lot of invitations to speak to both Buddhist and Christian groups. The Buddhists were most interested in hearing about what it was that attracted me to Christianity. The Christians, on the other hand, were most interested in hearing about the Buddhist way of life. And so, I obliged them both, as best I could.

I will never forget the very first question that I was asked in a group of Christians at a Toronto church. The questioner – in all sincerity and with all good intentions – stood up and said:

“The Buddhist people that I know take their religion so seriously... you know, they meditate and they study and they're always talking about how to bring Buddha's teachings into their lives... And it's always made me wonder if, in Asia, Buddhists were more casual … you know, like Christians are here … I mean, we go to church on Sundays and we try to be good, but our religion doesn't get so intense that it takes over our whole life.”

And I thought to myself, “Oh my God, what are you getting me into?” I was tempted to say that what this man was describing as “casual” Christianity was likely more about middle class Canadian habits and values than anything else ... that Christian practice, no less than Buddhist practice, is meant to “take over our entire life”... to transform how we perceive ourselves and others, our purpose in life, how we feel about and respond to everything...! I really wanted to say that Christianity is not a casual religion...! But that was not this person's experience. And I didn't want to be so “intense” that I would offend him, and make him wish that he hadn't been so honest. So I said something like, “Well, you know, in all religions there are different levels of interest and practice.” And I went on to the next question. But that person, his point of view, and his experience of Christianity have stayed with me ever since. And I was reminded of it again, as I read today's Gospel text:

Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them … When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This teaching is difficult; who can accept it?” But Jesus, being aware that his disciples were complaining about it, said to them, “Does this offend you?”

What Jesus was offering was something more than a casual walk in the park. Not that there's anything wrong with a casual walk in the park. It's a wonderful thing to do. But we don't need God, or Christ, or the Holy Spirit, or Prayer, or Sacraments, or Scripture, or Church – if all we want is a casual walk in the park.

If all we want from church is a dose of middle class Canadian values and habits... why not just sit in our backyards, have an iced tea or a beer, and listen to CBC radio? … If all that people get from church is just a reinforcing of certain cultural values and habits... maybe that's why so many people would much rather be sitting in their backyards, enjoying God's creation. Maybe that would be more spiritually renewing and transforming.

When Jesus summed up the spiritual life as abiding in him by eating his body and drinking his blood, the disciples said amongst themselves, “This teaching is difficult; who can accept it?”

Now maybe they just hadn't understand what he meant.... Maybe if they had really understood what Jesus was talking about, they could have accepted it. Maybe if Jesus would have just rephrased it and said something less mysterious, less offensive to common-sense – like “Go to church and try to be good; that's all I'm saying!” – maybe they could have accepted that... what do you think?

But Jesus doesn't say that, does he? He doesn't say that because there really is no way to “lighten up” the message contained in the Eucharist without turning it into something else. Maybe the Eucharist is just one of those things – like loving another human being, for example – where acceptance has to come first, or there can be no understanding. Maybe it's total acceptance, full reception, nothing held back... that is the “way in” to a deeper understanding of what it means to know and love and follow Jesus.... that is the “way through” the difficulty, the offense of the Eucharist.

The Eucharist is relational, intimate, a living exchange – something that we cannot just 'do' by ourselves. And perhaps that is really why it can be so very annoying, so difficult, so hard to accept. It requires the surrender of our very selves. Our options are only to freely co-operate in its life, or to have nothing to do with it at all. We can't control it! What an incredibly wise practice to make the very heart of Christian spirituality. And yet, at the same time, it's just asking for trouble... because this teaching is difficult... who can accept it?

Peter understood the dilemma, because he got caught in it, just as we do. This faith of ours – and its never-ending encounter with God in Christ through the Holy Spirit – is just so intensely personal... it can sometimes make us want to run! ...to bury ourselves in the superficial! But God's love and wisdom eventually win our hearts over, just as they win Peter over in this morning's Gospel text.... when he realizes that if this is God... if this is the Source and End and Meaning of all life.... then... where are we going to run??? If in you, Jesus, we are being addressed by the Love of God Incarnate... then “where else are we going to go???” It's an extraordinarily good question. Asking it helps us to inwardly settle down and make ourselves at home in Christ. And then – we don't need to make faith in Christ into some casual pastime so that we can feel more comfortable with it. Then, we are able to more fully relax into its mystery... and its difficulty... and its community... and come to know its awesome peace, the Peace of the Living Christ, which cannot be manufactured, which passes all understanding. That is what, or rather Who, we offer the world. Nothing less. And so that we never forget... so that we always remember... all of this is beautifully contained in and enacted through this simple, sacred act of Holy Communion.

Thanks be to God.