One of our many secrets as adults is that we carry little things in the privacy of our own minds, which we believe to be true (or, at least, we wish were true...) but that we rarely, if ever, express directly... because they are just too socially (or personally) unacceptable to actually put into words...

like, for example, the arrogant belief that:

“I am better –I am of more value– than you are.” (Who would want to own up to a belief like that?!)

or the hostile intention:

“I want to prove that you are of less worth than I am! ”

or the icy judgment:

“I have no need of you; you are nothing to me...”

If we were to freely express such things... we would probably not be very popular. And so these kinds of positions that we take in relation to others rarely get expressed overtly.... but they do get expressed subtly all the time – with a glance, or a stiffening of the body, or even through clever conversations and arguments... which can seem innocent enough on the surface... but which conceal intentions that, in truth, are pure venom. And, as we probably all know, churches can be notorious for this sort of thinly disguised malicious behavior. And, apparently, the earliest disciples of Jesus were no exception.

We don't know the specific content of the disciples' argument with one another on the road to Capernaum. Maybe they were comparing their gifts; or the length of their relationship with Jesus; or who Jesus scolded the most, or who he smiled at the most, or who knows what? They may have had some valid points about their strengths and weaknesses relative to one another; we don't really know. All we know is that, at bottom, they were positioning themselves to be revered as “the greatest.” And at some level they all knew that their own arrogance and hostility were motivating them, because when Jesus interrupts the process and asks what they are arguing about... no one has anything to say. Not a word. All of their pretenses fall to the ground in the presence of Jesus.

And, in response to their guilty silence, Jesus turns to a little child.... (the word “little” here is very important. Because the contrast that Jesus is making only makes sense if this is a child who is still young enough to be very aware of his or her real vulnerability and need. The contrast wouldn't be very instructive if it is a child who is already old enough to have begun using the same kinds of defenses that the disciples were using here to cover up their vulnerability and deny their need for one another. Very young children don't yet have the capacity to feel more powerful than they really are. They haven't yet developed all of those clever little mechanisms that allow us to pretend to be something that we are not. They don't yet have a choice to be other than who they are. If they are upset, they can't pretend to be at peace. If they are sad, they can't pretend to be happy. If they are hungry, they can't pretend to be full. And so on. What you see is what you get.)

I suspect that it must be an infant that Jesus is drawing the disciples' attention to here. That is part of what makes this such an awesome spiritual teaching... because an infant, on its own, has virtually no strategies to make its vulnerable feelings go away. It is completely dependent on the kindness of its caregivers to cope with its difficult life experiences.

Quite a contrast from these arrogant, judgmental, hostile men... each trying to prove that he is better than all the rest. This defenseless infant is the opposite of all that they are pretending to be. And so Jesus reaches down, picks up and holds this little infant close to him. It's a fascinating move on Jesus' part... because this is exactly what each of his disciples is longing for. Their behavior is shouting out to Jesus – “Pick me! Pick me! Let me be closer to you than all the rest! Make me your #1” And Jesus understands that, beneath all of their pretenses, his disciples are infants in many ways. Their real position in life is one of vulnerability. But they are fighting like mad against that reality, because they don't yet understand that it is their vulnerability that is the key to their greatness as human beings.

They clearly have a lot of work to do on their own characters. And, in this particular situation, Jesus recommends an interpersonal approach for them to work through their arrogance and their selfishness and their competitiveness. Standing before them with this little infant in his arms, he says: “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes [not that child alone but] me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me [alone] but [also] the one who sent me.”

And notice that, as Jesus is saying these words about welcoming “one such child,” he is literally doing just that... he is standing there in front of these spiritually immature and embarrassed disciples, tenderly holding a little baby in his arms! He is being a spiritual role model for them.... because he is not just holding a baby, as some politicians might do in an election campaign. He is not just modeling socially acceptable “welcoming behavior” for them. This is not just about outward etiquette. Jesus is standing in a particular spiritual position in relation to this little child... He is welcoming this little child into life-giving relationship, with the very same love that God, at that very same moment, is welcoming Jesus. He is loving the infant in the same way that God is loving him. This is what it means to welcome an other in the name of Jesus. It means to position ourselves in the very same head-space and heart-space where Jesus dwells... in relation to God's love... and in relation to the person being welcomed.

So the invitation Jesus is extending to the disciples here is clearly an invitation to grow spiritually, an invitation to repair their obvious character flaws, by imitating Jesus, by actively putting themselves into the same divinely empowered compassionate position in relation to the vulnerable that Jesus always puts his self into. And, although this practice is interpersonal rather than private in nature, it is no less a spiritual discipline than Scripture study, prayer or meditation. Because when we dwell in the place where Jesus dwells in relation to others... it transforms us inside and out. It cleans out the moral and emotional sludge that builds up in our characters and blocks us from genuinely loving.

But a word of warning should probably be attached to this gospel discipline. Because when we practice it, when we dwell in the place where Jesus dwells in relation to others, we might mistakenly expect that our arrogant, aggressive, and cold thoughts and feelings will never arise there. But, on the contrary, that is the point of the practice. All of our moral and emotional sludge will arise there... and that is o.k., because God's Love also arises... and, so we find ourselves being disarmed and unburdened by that love... we find our unhelpful defenses and our other pretenses falling away in the presence of God's love in Christ. The walls come down, not by force, but through the power of Divine Love. And it is there, defenseless in the loving presence of God, that we come to understand that we really are no better, and no worse, than anyone else. God is personally welcoming us to join the human race.

And so, this adds an important new practice to our spiritual tool kit. Now when we feel that envy, and pride, and hostility churning inside of us... and it seems that all we want is to win, to prove that we are right and that the other is wrong, no matter what the cost, we will be able to hear Jesus saying to us: “Welcome one such child in my name. Welcome one such defenseless little bundle of needs in my name, in my love, just as I am welcoming you – because in doing so, you will be able to face the truth of what is going on in your own soul... and that truth will set you free.” This gospel discipline enables us to own up to the basic spiritual fact of our lives... that we also need to be held in the arms of Jesus. Even big tough guys like Peter and James and John... when their masks fell away in the presence of Jesus... discovered that they were just “one such child,” secretly waiting to be welcomed by the Love that never dies. And we are discovering the same today, perhaps even now.   Thanks be to God!