The other day the conversation turned to the topic of Christmas and someone asked me if I was ready for Christmas. I replied that I wasn't. There were still gifts to buy, cards that I was making needed some final touches and wrapping to be done. I hadn't had my day in the kitchen where I would be up to my elbows in c's - cookies, cranberry bread, chocolate and classic carols. I spend the day with the CD player in full volume listening to the glorious music of the season while I mix and chop and create wonderful goodies that perfume the house and make mouths water. I also haven't had that moment that usually occurs around this time of year. There is a sadness as I mourn mostly for myself the people I have loved and that have loved me who are with me now only in my heart. So yes, I am not ready for Christmas in this sense.
In another sense, I am so ready. My spirit is sore from too much conflict at work, hurtful words flung at others without any thought to the damage they do. I worry about a co-worker who is near the breaking point and I cannot seem to do anything to help except listen and hear. I long for the hope that Christmas brings, the old words that speak from other times and conflicts and reassure me that there is still hope even in the bleakest times.
My mind needs the peace I can only find during a quiet moment of prayer . I need that time to let go of all this world burdens me with. I need to appreciate how precious the time is when I listen for the still small voice.
My soul yearns for the joy that shines out in so many unexpected places. The way small children's faces light up in wonder at the sight of snow falling, or the look on the face of an older friend when I stop in for a quick visit. To know that joy can be experienced and that age does not diminish its capacity is what Christmas tells us.
Finally my heart waits to be lifted up and cradled with that immense love that knows neither beginning or end. It is so vast that I cannot help but to reach out my arms and pass it on to someone else.
Am I ready for Christmas? To paraphrase a response by a young woman who was asked that question over 2000 years ago, YES!!!!