BlueChicken's picture

BlueChicken

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How is that ok?

My family is lucky enough to own a RV and rent a seasonal site on a lake near my city.  We practically lived out there this summer and over that time I think I saw more examples of bad parenting then I have in my whole life combined.  It's bad enough that my friend (17 year old daughter of our RV neighbous) fights all the time with her stepmom, but on top of that her little 8 year old brother is a night mare.  And I mean really a nightmare (I have known many a little boy in my life and none have ever been as bad as him.

 

I know that I am only 18, and not a mother, and that this is probably not my business but... I just don't understand how my friend's step-mother thinks she is raising her son to be responsible - and my friend's father isn't helping either.  This summer, my friend's dad and stepmom succeeded in getting so drunk at a fellow RVer's trailer that they lost him for 2 hours.  Luckily he was at one of the other trailers in the park - but he could have drowned in the lake.

 

On top of that, they always let him drink out of their cups - even alcoholic drinks.  I  am not against giving kids a taste now and again because that the best way to guarantee that they understand what it is but nightly is a no-no.  My friend's dad even taught his 8 year old son to snap bra staps.  8!  He did it constantly to me and his half sister all summer. 

 

Also,  the stepmom always lets him watch whatever he wants.  And mean whatever.  Movies that are rated 13+ are very common and so are 18+.  They are rated for a reason!!!!!

 

I just can't understand how she thinks that is good.  I know that we have different ideas on how to parent but what she is doing isn't parenting.  She seems to behave like a bad babysitter. 

 

I just needed to get that off my chest.  Thanks for taking the time to read my rant.

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sighsnootles's picture

sighsnootles

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no problem.  i've heard stories of parents and children that would make your hair stand on end, and i know how you are feeling about all this.

 

this is why i became a foster parent, actually... so that i could help kids in situations like these, even if its just for a few weeks, to know that they deserve better.

crazyheart's picture

crazyheart

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bluechicken, welcome

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Witch's picture

Witch

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The best thing you can do in a case like that is to learn from it. Observe the interactions and try to specifically think about what you would do differently.

Sometimes unsavoury people serve us best as examples

Elanorgold's picture

Elanorgold

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Yes it is enfuriating to watch, and sometimes I catch myself giving unwanted advice under my breath in passing. Something I hate when others do to me! Sometimes, if you know the people involved, you can step in unnoticed and say something positive and life afirming to the kid(s), and this can make a positive influence on them for the rest of their lives, just knowing that it isn't allways like this, that someone really did care. It is very painful though to have to leave them to the bad parents. Some of these parents think they are being good parents, giving their kids liberties that they never had, or they may have a psychological plan with their actions, such as exposing them to scarey movies at a young age so they are less timid and afraid of things in general, and less likely to get picked on in school. I had a friend with this attitude, and true her kids were bolder and braver than mine, but mine didn't have nightmares as often either, and I think mine is turning out fine being exposed to things gradually. He's 7 now and just starting to watch PG movies, WITH parents, that's what PG means, parental guidance. I also don't like him hanging out with kids his age who are exposed to to much mature stuff. I try to protect him and arm him with knowledge to defend himself, but still disturbing stories come home from school. 7 year olds shouldn't be making crude jokes. It's a tough one though. You do learn how you are going to parent though, by watching how others do, what you like and what is not good.

EmoCookieDough's picture

EmoCookieDough

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You know what, I don't think its good, I think there just messed up. Maybe you should go to them and express yourself. Maybe it would awake their subconscious!

Namaste's picture

Namaste

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I think that you'll be a great mother one day, Blue Chicken.

Stuff like this makes me so mad. Some people just really shouldn't be parents. And then there's other people who so desperately want to be parents who can't be. It just doesn't seem fair.

BlueChicken's picture

BlueChicken

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Elanorgold mentioned scary movies.  If it was a higher rated scary movie, even I would make exceptions for that based upon the child's maturity. But it isn't only scary movies.  They let him watch adult humour movies like The Love Guru, Step Brothers, and Tropic Thunder.  He is only 8 and in no wat should he be quoting those movies.  Swear words, sexual innuendos, and other mature themes should not be shown in such excesses to someone as young as he is.

The_Omnissiah's picture

The_Omnissiah

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This kind of thing makes me sick...I wish we had the funds for a more intensive child and social services department, that would take the kid to a better home and order their parents so shape up...Alas it is not so.

 

If you cannot help him or his parents in their current situation, then make sure it doesn't happen to you, or people you know.  Please, for the sake of the future of humanity!

 

 

Assalaam Alaiykum

-Omni

 

P.S.  Welcome to the Café!

sighsnootles's picture

sighsnootles

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among my kids' friends are a few who have parents like what is being described, and so i make sure that these kids know that they are always welcome in my house.  a plate of warm cookies and hot chocolate when they get home from school does wonders for their little personalities, i think...

Beloved's picture

Beloved

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Greetings!

 

Hey, bluechicken, love the avatar . . . welcome to Wondercafe!

 

Unfortunately, different people have different ideas of parenting.  Some people may, in our eyes, parent badly . . . perhaps that is the best they know how to do.  It must be difficult for you to sit back and watch what they are subjecting their young son to.  Hopefully, one day, when perhaps you are a parent, you will remember, and you will do differently, and you will be a great example in someone's life of what a good parent is.

 

Hope, peace, joy, love . . .

 

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