Setting the stage:

• A group of about 40 employees is gathering for a social evening
• It is a celebration of sort on company property.
• Various levels of the organization are present, from senior leadership to the newest guy on the totem pole.  All are what you would consider professionals.
• Alchohol is flowing as it is an open bar, there are appetizers

After an hour or two of alcohol consumption, an individual finds a retirement card for someone who likely had a party the night before, or maybe the week before and had forgotten it.

The individual picks up the card and starts to say things like, "wow, i hope i get better comments on my retirement card".  Another person goes over, and soon they are quite mocking it.

There is some laughter, as well at least one voice that says, that is someone's retirement card, it likely means something to them.

About 15 minutes later, the one individual goes over and is seen writing fake stories & best wishes on the card.....there is an implication of making up stories that would be "remember when we went away and .>>>>" or "remember when we got so drunk>...."

Finish the story....what do you do in that scenario.

Change the subject to something more interesting than mocking someone's retirement card.  If there's a dance floor request the DJ to play a crowd pleaser.

what the heckies is a retirement card?

is that anything like those old library cards?

Inanna, I thought it was a greeting card, for someone's retirement.  Like a birthday card, congrats card, etc.

agreed, chemgal.

It is typically that is passed around before the retirement, and many people sign it.

It is then given to the person as part of their departure, with best wishes.

What I would do would probably depend on what relationship the people mocking the card were to myself. In all scenarios I would be the one saying that the card likely means something to its' intended recipient - and explain further why I didn't feel their behaviour was appropriate. If the behaviour didn't change, then I would act further on the next working day. If the people were my supervisors, then I would go to their boss and tell them about it. If they were my co-workers, I would talk to them casually at work - perhaps over the water cooler - and if they didn't seem apologetic I would take it to our boss. If I was their boss, they would be called into my office for a meeting where I would explain the company policy on professionalism and then would have them take around a new card for that person.

Gain the trust of whoever has the card, maybe give them the impression that I have a funny "fake" story to add to the card, get the card from them, put it in my pocket, and walk away.

Later, do my best to remove any offensive marks and return the card to its owner.

Maybe the recipient of the card didn't want to be retraumatized by having a reminder of the years of soul-crushing hypocrisy, and kowtowing to an idiot boss. Maybe they just want to put it all behind them & enjoy their hard-earned retirement.
I know that's how I'd feel.
Besides, who leaves something like that on a table?

Somegal, thanks for seeing that there is a lack of professionalism there. Somegal, can i ask why you chose "next day"?  Curious what parts tripped you into delaying the 

Chanse, really nice work to save the card and to get it to its rightful owner.  I see you tried subterfuge/partnering rather than logic.  Would you attempt to dialogue with them at any time/

Oh, I should have added that this location is secured. You need a special key to access so if you do leave something, you can't necessarily get it.  At retirements there are often lots of items given including cards from different areas.  A card could be easily left behind by those helping to pack up.

At that point, the goal is to get the card out of their hands before they deface it further. If they're being idiots, I'm not likely to feel they're worth the time to reason with. I could also go with distraction, but I find that gaining the trust of loudmouths to be particularly easy if you use the right words.

Would I talk to them? Probably not. Just walk away. If they stopped me, I'd explain that they were being idiots.

Ouch. That sounds like highschool. I might say (I might not actually, hopefully I'd have the courage, but I'd sure feel like saying...) not too loudly so as not to ruin the party altogether, "c'mon you guys, you're acting like you're in highschool. (and you're doing the team leader role/ high school 'principal') This reflects poorly on the team here at___ to behave like this. Let's stop, shall we? Or maybe it's time to think about calling it a night. Do you all have a safe ride home?" (which would make the point that the alcohol is showing)

I'm assuming that these people have had plenty to drink - and I've already tried speaking to them at this stage of inebriation. I'm hoping that, in doing everything the next day, they will have had the chance to sober up and realize the mistake they've made. I'm also realizing that perhaps I've also had too much to drink and may not be thinking clearly myself - and the same may well be true of their supervisors (if I'm not their supervisor). In the morning we'll all be sober and hopefully more clear-headed.

You could simplify it to "I'm disappointed that you are doing this to this person's card. I think it reflects poorly on our team here at___. By the way, does everyone have safe rides home?"

You said that objections were raised by at least one person. Kudos to this person! Sometimes it is really difficult to speak out in a situation like this. 

I think I would have laughed at the comment "I hope I get better comments than this" but when it proceeded to mocking the card and making fake comments I would have been very uncomfortable. Hard to say if I would have spoken up at that point. I like to think so but with alcohol flowing there may have been little point. If senior managers were in on it this would complicate things further. 

Too bad the card got left behind. 

 Good thinking, Kimmio.

Hi Pinga,

Admittedly I have a tea-totaler bias (even though I can't stand tea and refuse to drink it).  I respect that some people have enough discipline not to abuse an open bar and those who know their limits and stay within it are also probably respectful and responsible employees.

There are also other people who see open bar as permission to exceed limits and I have yet to see when that becomes a breeding ground for brilliance.  Drunken stupors happen a lot sooner than those prone to drunken stupors imagine.

Yeah, the thinking out-loud phase of the drunk.  Not necessarily evil stuff.  It does show that whatever social braking mechanism is usually in play in a work environment has been disengaged.  They are on company property and there is an open bar.  The latter never should cancel the former.  You are on company property act in a manner that isn't going to embarras the company or your colleagues.

Possibly, though it got left behind there might be a reason for that.

So past the thinking out-loud stage to the high-school rebel stage.  Thinking excellence.

Depends upon my position with the company.  It is company property and I am an employee.  There are ramifications if I overstep.  

If the drunken idiots are higher up the food chain then I am I try to discourage them.  Because they are drunk I try and distract them and get the card away.  

If the drunken idiots are lower down the food chain then I am I take the card away and if they give me a rough time I ask them to see me in my office first thing the next working day.

If the drunken idiots are on the same plane of food chain existence I look for a supervisor to come with me while I try and get the card away from them.  Failing to find a supervisor I probably take my leave.  The last thing I need or want on company property is to get into something with a drunken colleague who has already disengaged their social braking mechanisms.

If I can I get their keys before I leave.  I'd be embarrassed the next day when the retiree finds the defaced card (hopefully the company gives more than that to their retirees) but I'd feel a lot worse if the drunken idiots decided to drive home drunk and killed themselves or others.  They are already showing poor judgment why take a chance they are smart enough to know not to drive?  

If I can't get their keys and I know their car I flatten the tires though that only slows a drunk driver down.

I'd also call the police and tip them off about a company party where alcohol was being abused.

That would also be the last company "social" I attended for quite some time.  I don't mind hanging out with friends who drink.  I don't find watching colleagues getting stupid drunk that entertaining.

Grace and peace to you.

John

I would also sit down with whomever planned the company party and discuss the idea of an open bar, too much drinking, company image, legal ramifications and if it was a party held on company grounds I would assess the policy on alcohol at work.

I think those says depicted on MadMen are no longer with us, at least not in any companies we have been involved with.

It's been a long time since I've been in the work force, so I have to go back to years ago when I was.

I am imagining myself in a situation such as this, where there are all levels of persons present.  And some are acting like described above.

I am imagining that if it were people I work closely with, peers so to speak, I would go over and say something like . . . "hey guys, that's enough, give me the card, and I'll make sure he/she gets it . . . "

If it were people who were my superiors, or bosses, or upper management . . . I would probably go over and say . . . "would you like to give me the card and I will make sure it gets to him/her?"

If it were people who I supervise, I would probably go over and say . . . "please give me the card and I will make sure he/she gets it."

I probably would not do anything the next day if it were upper management or people I supervise - this was a social gathering, which although affects their personality, does not affect their work performance.

If it were my peers, I might have a discussion with them about the inappropriateness of it all.

When you're at a staff party and the bosses are getting drunk- there is no workplace hierarchy at that point, IMO. If they fired me for speaking up about that, that's a petty thing to fire someone for, and I don't want to work there. I have had to take a stand about things while at the bottom, in the work context. And I didn't make it past the first round of impending lay offs. Big surprise. I work with a good bunch now- very fortunate. We had our party last weekend. Open bar that noone abused, all the wine you want with dinner (best staff party food ever)- no one got too obviously drunk or did anything mean or embarrassing (people were laughing and having fun but noone made fools of themselves)- and the company paid for taxis. But I have been to worse parties in the past- the kind of staff parties they mock on TV shows- or where the execs hit on staff.

I think along similar lines to ninjafaery - if the card meant a lot to the person concerned they would not have left it behind.....

Retirement cards are often expressions of "doing the right thing" -rather than genuine sadness at a colleague retiring.

I would add that, whatever the occasion, we tend to keep those cards that  are the most meaningful for us - and either "lose" or throw out the rest.

The point is that drunks can be idiots, or idiots can be drunk, and do stupid things. It wouldn't be the first time I snatched keys or something out of the hands of the inebriated or remarkably stupid. I have, before, appeared to the idiot as equally inebriated or caught up in the moment, and taken their toy away.

Of course, it helps to have quick hands and a few quick wits about you.

Yeah, I'm real popular among some people. Don't care.

Chansen - I think we should attach a hidden camera to you and send you into a party. I bet it would be entertaining watching you deal with the drunk folks.

I dont' think it is the people at the parties place to judge if that card is relevant to the person or not. They do not know.  It is someone else's property. 

I agree Pinga. I can think of any number of reasons why it might have been mistakenly left behind.

Personally I wouldn't have written on the card -but, then again, I probably wouldn't return the card to the owner either.....

In non-life threatening situations such as this, I just worry about my own behaviour - and let others concern themselves with their behaviour.

There's enough to keep me busy there. 

At a company party I would probably think of myself as rather a low man on the totum pole - professional, but not one of the bosses.  Neither was I one of the social/party group.  So I would probably just try to distance myself from those making fools of themselves and defacing the card. 

I would probably try to join with a few who also didn't want to be involved - and offer my support if one of them spoke up or tried in any way to stop them or remove the card. 

I don't think it does much good to try to reason with a drunk - or a group of drunks. 

Nor would I take it upon myself to complain about it to the bosses the next day.  Anyway, weren't they at the party.    If I were a boss, or department supervisor I might call a meeting the next day and speak to those involved about professionalism.