Do you have a lot of prep, chemgal?

Nothing compared to actually hosting I guess.

Shopping, wrapping, cards, decorating, making up a wish list for others, parties, baking, picking some stuff up for hosts, making sure I have all the appropriate clothing and that it's clean, getting all the medications I need ready and packing everything up.

I'm not a traveller, I had having all my stuff in a small area.  I like to see my clothes.  Keeping track of which plastic baggy is for clean stuff vs. stuff that tends to leak is also frustrating, especially as some of it is medical.

Add in the stress of the medical stuff, knowing I'm supposed to go for tests before Christmas but that it hasn't arrived in the mail and a few other random things like needing a new jacket, searching for a day to get a good one and then reacting to it and having to return it just makes it worse.

I'm also a bit of a perfectionist.  I'm trying to let some things go.  My mom gets really frazzled a Christmas trying to do everything too.  The funny thins is the person who's probably the hardest on me is my sister and she isn't a perfectionist.  Just some sibling rivalry I guess :)

Yes. I have to do about the same! We're going to visit family this year, and about the only shopping I have to do is for a ten dollar gift that's gender neutral, but hopefully something someone will use and appreciate. Hmm. We're playing a gift swap game this year, sort of a family party, so no expensive gifts allowed I am told (good)- actually I need to find two. I'll probably shop on behalf of my hubby. Other than that I have to buy 2 bottles of wine- he can probably do that, but he'll be working right up 'til we leave. There's laundry, clean up, before we go. My last shift of work for 2 weeks is tomorrow (and it's payed vacation this time). Yay! But there are some friends I am hoping to catch up with this weekend before we go. And I want to go to church. Also, I hope to squeeze in a haircut. I also wanted to do a bit of thrift store shopping- see if I can find a Christmas sweater that isn't too hideous, for the family gathering- lol. Maybe to winners for socks and underwear- a couple of stocking stuffers. And it's snowing, which is fairly rare here- well not rare, but not like most of Canada. And we don't drive- so if it sticks (just started tonight) it'll be hard to walk around in- buses are late, drivers are anxious. So it may not seem like a lot, but it can be this time of year.

*raises hand*
The last several Christmases I've wanted to either to run away or hibernate until it's over.
It can get old - especially with so much pressure to have things just right.

SERIOUSLY, GUYS: If it's not fun, if it's not joyful, don't bother.

Christmas is a time to express and share your hope, your joys, your love… not meet a whole lot of others' expectations and demands. Less with a light heart is far, far better than too much with the brittle tensions of stress… don't bully yourselves  — or let others bully you.

Trust your inspiration, not others' expectations. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS and all the very best for 2014!

I agree with Mike.  Due to my health issues (which have been largely unknown in the past) I have done less and less to prepare for Christmas.  This year, nothing has been done except I put a handful of decorations up with my niece and bought a handful of items for stocking stuffers when I was in the drug store the other day.  On the other hand, I have seen a lot of people lately and cheerily wished them a "Merry Christmas" - which seems more important than all the rest right now.

I am going easy on myself this year mainly because I think it is time to do that.  I've demonstrated my ability to 'do it all graciously' for many years.  My adult kids can take over some of the chores or they just won't get done.  Yes, they have been told.  No, I'm not seeing or hearing any signs that they are taking over.  

So far my partner put up the artificial tree, added lights and invited me to help put on some decorations.  We looked at the two more boxes of those and thought "Ah - there's the answer to Christmas gifts all round, everyone can choose something from the boxes"!!!  There are lots to choose from, some with financial value and some with sentimental value.  Really - do I NEED to keep the cute things the kids made in kindergarten from now until I die?  

I have baked some family favourites and ignored the rest.  There will be plenty of basic food around to go with the extras.  Maybe an adult  kid or two will provide something - maybe not.  Providing we get to eat I truly don't care any more. 

Mike, I do get joy out of the final outcome for most of what I do.  I even enjoy doing quite a bit of it, but most of the problem is that it's too much.  Sometimes I just get overambitious too.  I was a bit excited when I bought the baking supplies, but find the energy and time to make them is the issue.  I'm not really being bullied, just more teased but I wish my effort was better appreciated.  For example, my sister will tease my wrapping capabilities and she actually used to take her present and add a second layer of wrapping paper to make it look better.  She has much more artistic ability that I do.  It wouldn't bother me if I didn't want my wrapped gifts to look great!

It helps to hear others feel the same.  Come Christmas Eve, I'll enjoy whatever effort I do put in.

Chemgal: I'd tease back… wrap her best present roughly in crumpled newspaper or a plastic grocery store bag with brown string and duct tape. Tell her the idea came from the onine art classes you been taking: a statement against the trivialisation of Christmas spirituaity. 

Mike, I just might do something like that!  The past few years she's had gift bags which worked well.  She'll get wrapping paper still but it will look like 7 year old me did it.

Chemgal: I'm pushing the LIKE LIKE LIKE button!  At least RECYCLE her wrapping paper! Then claim the higher virtue ground! (with a twinkle in your eye!) LAUGH! LOVE! Enjoy the day!

I am actually having a good year Christmas-wise. We've largely given up on the shopping, things haven't got too crazy, the company Santa party (party for the children of employees with one of our managers playing Santa) that I help plan went well in spite of falling on the weekend of our first big snowstorm, and I'm doing a reflection on The Nativity in a UU Solstice-Christmas service on Sunday (which I will post on WC when I'm happy with it). The holiday craziness has not intruded too much, but the good part of the holiday has been present. Given that I've been rather down on, and tired of, Christmas in recent years, this is something of an uptick.

Mendalla

lol Thanks Mike!

Mendalla, it's good to hear about people having a good year too!

I'm really hoping that someday someone in this city will have kids (very unlikely to be me) and decides to stay put.  I've stated numerous times already that if that happens I'm not travelling.

I love the idea of teasing a picky 'wrapper' right back.  Newspaper or recycled paper.  A donation to the Food Bank instead of wasted cash.  I usually recycle wrapping paper and that really bothers one of my adult kids - she claims it makes us look 'poor'. My partner immediately said 'We would be poor if we kept wasting money on fancy paper to throw in the garbage'. 

I used to date someone years ago whose family wrapped everything in newspaper- usually the comics section. They had always done that. It was the first time I'd ever seen that. Now though, I have seen expensive wrapping paper with newsprint images on it, lol. It's a good idea to use newspaper- except with online, we don't have newspaper kicking around anymore. But you can use the full page ads with humour and irony!

The problem with newsprint is the ink rubs off and makes a mess.  I like the idea otherwise.

Half of my 'parental unit' (2 homes) where we visit does fairly modest Christmas- but makes a huge fuss about it happening perfectly. The other is laid back but tends to spend too much money on decorations and gifts. Go figure. There's a pile of snow on the ground. I have to get to work- not going to break any bones rushing if it's around until Christmas- so whatever doesn't get done, oh well! Thanks for the snow! :)

Noone we're visiting really needs anything. So, we'll just enjoy whatever happens! I'm going to pack my 'Cranium' game. Anyone played it? We missed out on it last year. Oh, the play dough in it dried out- I need a recipe. Someone here must know the secret to good play dough. We tried to make it one year, impromptu, with flour, water and salt- without measuring-in my friend's kitchen, when we took the game to a friend's, but it was missing something, wasn't firm enough to hold shapes.Made the guessing more entertaining! Plus, we made a mess. It was fun.

And the carpet and possibly someone's clothes!  All of those flyers with the magazine-type pages might work though.

Yes. Somebody's best white silk blouse. Or even their favourite light coloured t-shirt. It even bleeds onto kitchen counters. I know that from moving.

I'm with Mike!  

Here's a little prayer from our church newsletter today ... seems relevant!

This is the recipe I use at work for play dough:

1 cup white flour
1/2 cup salt
2 tablespoon cream of tartar (find it in the spice section)
1 tablespoon oil
1 cup water
food coloring

Mix first 4 ingredients in a pan. Add water and mix well. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, for 3 – 5 minutes. Dough will become difficult to stir and form a “clump”.  Remove from stove and knead for 5 minutes–add food coloring during kneading process. Play dough will keep for a long time stored in a covered plastic container or plastic sandwich bag.

This will make more than you will need, but I'm sure you can find some other creative things to do with it - particularly if there are kids around.

Hi somegal. Cream of tartar must be the secret ingredient we missed. Thanks! We kept adding combinations of flour and water and couldn't get the right consistency.

I'm hoping to play Cranium. It's a combo of trivial pursuit, shirades, pictionary and sculpting the words. Best game ever! We can always half the recipe if we need to, as well.

Cranium has the worst playdoh ever!  I've never seen a game that has been used before where it isn't hardened.

Very true! It's cheap. We've used up all the paper and a couple of the pencils are missing too. But those are easy to replace. The game, aside from manufacturing quality of the dough, is brilliant, though!

Cream of tartar is definitely the magic ingredient - without it you are essentially making glue! 

Cranium is such a fun game! I hope you have lots of fun playing it with your family.

I hadn't made it since I was a kid. I knew it couldn't be right. We put salt in it. Yeast wouldn't have worked either.

I hope I can get others interested in playing this time! At my dad's, they don't really get inspired to play board games anymore. Two years ago, we played some Wi games. Not the same! I long for low tech- lol!

Here's my playdough recipe:

Easy No Cook Playdough

2 ½ cups flour

1 cup salt

2 cups boiling water

3 Tablespoons oil

2 packages of Kool-Aid or Freshie or storebrand flavoured drink mix (the  kind if you were making it you’d need to add sugar).

1.Mix flour and salt together in large bowl or old ice cream pail.

2.Mix oil, boiling water and Kool-Aid together.

3. Pour wet mixture into dry.

4. Stir well then knead. It will be sticky.

5. Store in plastic container in fridge between uses.

Playdough was used many times with my 3, and playschools and kindergartens and given as gifts--and no pots to wash.

My Christmas plans changed ytoday. My middle child (21) wants to go to Seattle where there is a specilist tatto artist who diguises scars. She'd like to do something with her burn graft scar on her leg .

It's a 6 hour drive-but I thought-why not-so rather than putting up tree and baing etc. we'll be off on a road trip. 18 year old is wanting extra shifts at work and we'll be here when the 23 yr old is finished work.

Kids have said they are ok if we don't do a tree.

I have one pair of gloves to buy.

Stocking stuffers are even sorted.

I think that's a wonderful idea Tabitha! I hope that your daughter and the artist will be able to work together to create something wonderful. I wish you a safe journey filled with fun, laughter and love.

Oil is essential: olive oil, a cheap one, is fine… and I found, when our daughter was little, makes a pliable, non sticky dough that feels nice to handle. It smells good too. (Olive oil works as a very pleasant skin moisturiser; we us it in winter when the humidity's very low.)

Tabitha, does she know what's she's going to get, or in this case is it more of a collaboration with the tattoo artist than a typical tattoo?

Have a safe trip!

I wonder when and why Christmas became 'work'. 

When I was young the whole process was filled with love, joy, eagerness and excitement. 

We looked through the catalogues and pointed out a few things we would like to have (knowing that we would be lucky to get just one or two).

We helped go through a box of assorted Christmas cards and pick the one just right for each family on our list.  Santas and snowmen went to families with children; winter scenes to older people.

We went with Dad to cut the tree - and as we got older we did it ourselves.

We watched with excitement as parcels came - and we put Christmas cards on a string where we could enjoy them. 

We helped Mom with the cooking.  

We sang carols and went to the Sunday School concern.

Preparation was fun!

Later when I had my own children, I followed most of the traditions of my family, added a few new ones, and some Acadian flavour (meat pies on Christmas eve).   It was still a pleasant time, with the kids helping out. 

I carefully choose appropriate gifts from a limited budget.  I made some myself.  And nothing matched the joy I felt when the kids opened their gifts on Christmas morning.  One year I made clothes for a second-hand doll and a bed from a fruit basket - my daughter loved it. 

But now I see my daughter harried and stressed - rushing about - pressured - trying to have everything perfect.   It seems that the joy is gone.  Christmas has become another duty to get through.   More money; more things to do; more gifts - but less joy.

For me, Christmas lost some joy when I felt really sick after eating tradition foods and debated when to go to urgent care or not late on the 24th.  After that, I assumed an allergy and stopped eating some of the traditional foods although I would have a tiny taste some years because it wasn't severe.  Then I had a deficiency that lead to my family incorporating foods that shouldn't be on the table.

This year, I now know it is a true allergy.  I have the potential to react to trace amounts thanks to testing negative, eating the foods and having more severe reactions.  I told MIL about this, but after having a nightmare about beeing rushed to the emergency room on Christmas I had Chemguy double check with FIL.  My allergen was going to be in the main dishes.  There was an assumption that gluten free meant allergen free.  I am a bit frustrated with it, as going gluten free is more difficult.  Avoiding my allergen shouldn't be as difficult.  FIL has been careful BBQing in the past when I started reacting more to shrimp (which still hasn't come up as positive on any allergy test) but then afterwards it was all thrown together at the table and when Chemguy went to grab me my own set of food that wasn't covered in shrimp juice they started to make fun of me for not eating from the common dish until they realized why.

Travelling has always meant work to me.  I can't just pick things up at random.  I can't just use a hotel or borrow someone else's product if I forget mine.  There's all the medications I need every day, there's the ones I need just for a flareup.  I have multiple skin conditions and the change in water can leave me feeling miserable.  Travelling itself causes me pain and makes me sore for days.

This year, add in the fact that yesterday I spent calling around health clinics trying to get testing done that is supposed to be done before Christmas.  I got a form, but I can't speak to anyone who knows if it actually includes everything that should be done.  We were thinking about travelling today, but the lab I need to go to is closed on weekends, so I have to go tomorrow.  Who knows how long the wait will be as I can't get an appointment.

That's the type of stuff that makes it work and stressful.

((((chemgal))))) that sounds so frustrating and just plain TIRING.,

We are expecting one guest with celiac and one who can't eat acidic food.  I plan to have lots of choices and can identify what ingredients went in what dish!  They both know what purchased items (pickles and dressings etc) are safe for them so hopefully all will be well.

My sister has a lot of allergies and food sensitivities.  Some food (seafood, for example) would send her strait to the hospital.  Other foods would upset her stomach for hours or days.  So when she is expected, we are extra careful. 

My other sister had a close friend who was a member of AA - he told us.  We always had non-alcoholic drinks available for him (and children, and anyone else who choose them). 

If I am not sure about my guests likes or sensitivities, I always make sure to have choices available.  It is also helpful for people with severe allergies to bring something they can eat 'just in case'.   I know at a pot luck part of the fun is tasting everything - but a person with severe celiac disease might want to bring a gluten free dish and know that at she can eat at least one thing. 

It's not a potluck, it's for turkey dinner.  Bringing my own food is difficult.  Where would I prepare it?  The kitchen and BBQ is taken over at my parents house for Christmas Eve.  In the morning my Mom has wifesaver in the oven and is preparing turkey dinner and we head out fairly early to the in laws and are there all day where turkey dinner preps are also underway.  I have made guacamole there before and if I can get ripe avocados in time I'll do that again.  It's done there because they have gluten-free cutting boards and a bowl is set aside that the regular chips don't go into.

Chemgal: I have long found that making a few festive breads meets almost any Chirtmas need. I make them through advent and the 12 days of Christmas for after church nibble-celebration-multiculturalism and they'r always appreciated — as gifts, as meal add-ons, whatever. They can be fairly spectacular, are fun to make, taste delightfully "different" and are affordable. It takes just a little resarch to find good recipes, but… (Fougasse is the simplest and cheapest…)

Kerstol:

Fougasse:

Barnbrach

Mike, those look delicious, but grazing on bread and gaucamole all day long with little else other than the drinks freely being poured doesn't sound too healthy.

I might actually try to make one of those sometime though!  After a long nap yesterday I had to urge to do my 'baking' so that got done and that will be it for this year.

Home-made bread's healthier than most of what goes down at Christams. And one can assume that there'll be other choices. I watch Canadians pack away salt-laden, deepfried potato crips with a certain amount of awe and horror… my festive breads contain unbleached flour without additives, a few herbs and spices, dried  fruit soaked in fruit juice or tea (in the case of barmbrack)… hardly any carcinogenic stuff, and none of the trace medications in port or turkey…

Home-made bread's healthier than most of what goes down at Christams. And one can assume that there'll be other choices. I watch Canadians pack away salt-laden, deepfried potato crips with a certain amount of awe and horror… my festive breads contain unbleached flour without additives, a few herbs and spices, dried  fruit soaked in fruit juice or tea (in the case of barmbrack)… hardly any carcinogenic stuff, and none of the trace medications in pork or turkey… most don't need marg, butter or spead: just break and share and eat!

Yum.  No good for my celiac sufferer though.

I don't think EVERY offering at a feast has to meet EVERY taste and sensivity: I don't expect it for myself (I can't eat turkey, but I CAN enjoy the whole atmosphere, and everything else that makes up the whole.)

Mike, I find I don't feel well if I don't eat meat.

Sorry Chemgal - I wasn't meaning you in particular - just a general comment.  An acquaintance of mine with severe celiac disease told me that she always carried rice crackers, fruit, and or cheese in case she got hungry and nothing was available that she could eat.  My sister, with allergies, always offered to bring a dish - and prepared something she could eat. 

I admit that it gets harder when you are travelling and away from home for a few days. 

For years I suffered from Crohns disease (I still have it), but I found that at most places I could pick and choose (turkey breast with no cranberries, stuffing or gravy when things were bad).  My family were good about it but sometimes I hated eating jello when everybody else was having plum-pudding.   But better dry turkey breast, plain mashed potatoes and jello with family and friends than eating the same thing alone at home.

chemgal, can you eat fish?  if so, i would pack a can of salmon, tuna, or whatever other fish you can eat.....

As a mom of a child who was identified as anaphalytic to nuts as a toddler, I often took our own food, or would take one dish that he knew he could eat.  sometimes, that meant we always had a bag of apples in the car.

Chemgal, what is your specific allergy, sensitivity or set of them.  I'm trying to understand how hard it would be for someone to host a meal and care for you.

lol Fish

It should be easy, but it's the things like worcestershire that make it tough.  I used to be fine with Ceasar salads, BBQ sauces, etc. and now I've been told to be super careful about all of that stuff even in trace amounts.  Even gelatin comes into question.

Chemgal, so what are you allergic to....

Mike; your bread would be a very welcome addition to my table.