crazyheart
Have you found this to be the case?
Posted on: 06/08/2014 14:19
I have a couple of threads that I will post about a family funeral that was over the weekend.
There were 37 family at the graveside service that I precided over.
All 4 of my adult children were there and one five year old grand of ours.
I have been thinking about this snice getting home. My kids had different perception of family - They noticed quirks that we took for granted or in most cases overlooked because we had known the family for so long.
My kids noticed bo-tox, one uncle and family, who were one upping evryone. Crazy Dad and I laughed to our selves. My kids were quite upset.Here is one comment CrazyDad's brother said, "Crazydad, your kids have done well for themselves, haven't they? And what did he expect.? Beats me but a lot of strange comments that we didn't hear because we have know these brothers and sisters for years, But my kids picked up on all the quirks,
So,my question is,"Do we overlook rudeness, awkward comments etc . because we have heard them for 50 years ror so. We won't rock the boat, We leave the family with their perceptions and falsehoods.
Umm, will talk more about this with my kids one day.What are your perceptions in your family.
Don;t misinturrpret what I have writte, the history of our family is important to all my kids, THey say they don't know enough of the stories.
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crazyheart
Posted on: 06/08/2014 16:37
bump
chemgal
Posted on: 06/08/2014 17:39
CH I'm not certain I understand what you're asking. I think all families have their quirks and you get used to some of them if you're around them frequently. You probably also put up with more from family than from friends.
waterfall
Posted on: 06/08/2014 18:20
Have you seen Osage County the movie crazyheart? Now THAT'S a dysfhnctional family wjth quirks!
crazyheart
Posted on: 06/08/2014 19:27
I;ll try the question again. Are our children more perceptive of the generation before(our generation) because this is all new to them. For us, this generation has known each other for 50 years or more and so we ignore all the quirks but our kids see it with a new eye?
Probably this desn't make sense either.
chemgal
Posted on: 06/08/2014 19:50
That makes sense CH. Chemguy and I pick up different things with our in-laws. Usually we both agree, but it's one of those things where we no longer notice it as note-worthy with our own families, it's just how they are.
With the kids, there are also the realizations that come with age.
crazyheart
Posted on: 06/08/2014 19:50
Exactly!!!!
Dcn. Jae
Posted on: 06/08/2014 20:51
I;ll try the question again. Are our children more perceptive of the generation before(our generation) because this is all new to them. For us, this generation has known each other for 50 years or more and so we ignore all the quirks but our kids see it with a new eye?
Probably this desn't make sense either.
I honestly still don't understand what you're asking. Is it - do kids notice the quirks of their grandparents?? If so - my answer would be - yes - they do.
crazyheart
Posted on: 06/08/2014 22:16
No. I am not asking that. I am asking if because we know family for a long time, any quirks of bad behavioror rudeness, we say ,"Oh that is just Uncle Joe."
But our kids and grandkids who are of different generations, Name the bad behavior, quirks or rudeness for what it is. They even notice things , that by- pass our generation altogeher.
kaythecurler
Posted on: 06/10/2014 17:59
Interesting observation of the dynamics at the funeral CH. I agree that we tend to just ''get used to' the ideosyncrases in our families. If I put that in context a bit I'd say "Family relationships help each geneation learn acceptance and tolerance".
Dcn. Jae
Posted on: 06/11/2014 05:05
No. I am not asking that. I am asking if because we know family for a long time, any quirks of bad behavioror rudeness, we say ,"Oh that is just Uncle Joe."
But our kids and grandkids who are of different generations, Name the bad behavior, quirks or rudeness for what it is. They even notice things , that by- pass our generation altogeher.
Pilgrims Progress
Posted on: 06/11/2014 01:27
I was wondering how the funeral went?
Our generation tends to not " rock the boat" - where the next generation calls out bad behaviour.
Because my original family lets things slide - there is often an uneasy feeling about what a family member actually meant.
If I'm feeling good about myself I tend to think "Oh, that's just Joe being Joe".
If I'm not in a great mood myself - I think "What a nasty thing to say".
I've observed that my original family has this habit (me included) when we hear something that we think might have been critical - to burst out laughing nervously. It seems to be the closest we get to calling someone out.
The few times my generation has broken the rule and yelled at each other all Hell has broken out - which is probably why we don't do it too often!
crazyheart
Posted on: 06/11/2014 10:56
Pilgrims,there were 37 of the the family and many came and said they appreciated the humour, I used. My kids said,"How come we don't know any of the stories. This was all new to us." That is what happens when cousins live far apart., the funeral was very "family" There were about 37 at the gravesite ( from Ontario to BC.
I was told my words were comforting and kept it all to 30 minutes or so.)
After there wer lots of storytelling and laughter so that was good.
Pilgrims Progress
Posted on: 06/11/2014 18:31
Pleased it went so well - but somehow I knew it would!