There's probably no tuna casserole - and I'm worried

There’s probably no tuna casserole — and I’m worried

By David Henderson February 12, 2009

The Freethought Association of Canada is looking to expand its “There’s Probably No God” bus ad campaign from Calgary and Southern Ontario to Ottawa. But in doing so, the humanists threaten one of the most time-honoured, venerable, yet bilious of Canadian traditions. God? No, I’m not talking about God here, but the great creator’s second favourite meal, the potluck supper.

I have a sneaking suspicion that God is not at all worried about this latest, breathless attack on her/his existence. But organizers of the church potluck should worry, and so should those of us who arrive at the church door clutching a rapidly cooling pan of meat loaf. It’s bad enough regional health authorities have attacked the potluck’s food preparation techniques; now the actual founder of the feast is under attack.

Think of the ramifications. Where else can you sample three different styles of mac and cheese, four types of beans and seven offerings of jelly salad? A restaurant buffet? Don’t make me laugh. Go ahead, try and find a pot of baked beans and wieners nestled next to a tuna casserole topped with toasted bread crumbs at a restaurant buffet. I just dare you.

And let’s not forget tomato aspic. Already on the endangered side-dish list, if not for church potlucks, the next time you see a tomato aspic it might be behind glass at the Museum of Civilization. Let your guard down even for a second and yet another great Canadian tradition has crumbled: ignoring the tomato aspic.

I would miss it dearly only because I would lose the chance to say tomato aspic several times a year. “Got enough tomato aspic? You’ve got to try the tomato aspic!”

If you think I’m being alarmist, just look at the figures. It’s true, only 20 per cent of Canadians believe there is no God.

But if you study the statistics a little further, you will find that of the 80 per cent who do believe in a higher power, far less than half actually attend worship services. Add in those worshippers who eschew the potluck for television, a hockey game or any place that offers a menu, and you’re looking at a potluck table that threatens diminishing returns. Private worship may be fine for God, but here at the church hall we need every casserole dish we can get.

The United Church of Canada’s Emerging Spirit Campaign is using the “There’s Probably No God” initiative to foster debate on God and her/his place in our lives and our country. In fact the United Church’s wondercafe.ca website has gone so far as to start an online poll, where you can actually vote for or against the existence of God.

But none of the wisdom being posted on the site, theological or otherwise, has played the potluck card. Maybe it’s too controversial. Maybe it’s just too devastating to put into words. But we ignore it at our peril.

The actual bus campaign being proposed states: “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.” Sure, easy words to say, but much, much harder to live with when you find yourself staring into a bean pot scraped clean.

David Henderson is a Pembroke-based humour writer.

Comments

LumbyLad

Posted on: 02/20/2009 03:06

Hi Dave:

I was going to flag this as offensive. There IS Tuna Cassorole, and I HATE it! I simply want someone to come along and make it disappear. It may be "good for me" as they say, but it just turns my stomach. Can you make it go away?

WaterBuoy

Posted on: 02/20/2009 08:44

Hey, this is an essence of fish ... symbol of humanity's relation to the sun of infinite emotion ... show ID some respect! The multinational processer's don't and look what happened to the Cod Peace ... removed, only a hole left in the sea ... destination of man in creation ... devoid of thought ... or is that like rapturous? The thoughts will be harvested from each cede of the grain ... a story that only nun could understand ... a vast soul of light?

People do believe in God they just can't find ID within themselves ... conditionning in this place ... makes for sad'istic behaviour without teaching of the nature of emotions. We couln't do that ... because we do not know or have perverted knowledge for avarice means! Look how word has evolved since the archetypical Dead Seas of Language ... now where did that expression come from?

DaveHenderson

Posted on: 02/20/2009 08:54

Hi Waterbuoy,

I never thought tuna casserole would evoke remarks so deep or eloquent...holy mackeral!

God bless