**This is a post I pulled off my old blog**

I am in shock. Utter shock. There's no other way to describe my emotions right now.

Friday morning I packed up my three month old and came to Toronto for the weekend. I had plans to attend a march on Friday in protest of the G20, and that was about it. But that's not how this all went down.

As I arrived at the march, people were being searched going into Allen Gardens, which seemed like a bit of overkill for a peaceful march led by women and trans people. I met up with two other Moms and their children and after a long rally, we began marching. We only made it four blocks (which took about an hour) when out of nowhere the cops put their riot helmets on and we A-lined for the closest building which happened to have a subway stop in it. Despite the fact that the building was on lockdown, security not only let us in with the babies but also made sure we got to the subway and warned us against "those activists". Clearly they missed the sound protection hanging off my sons baby carrier, and didn't understand the meaning of my black clothes and red bandanna.

This left me feeling a sense of unrest. Or maybe confusion. Why weren't we allowed to march peacefully? It didn't make sense to me. This made me more curious about what was really going on and I decided to join the march on Saturday afternoon.

Saturday I met my Mom friends and one of my best friends and we hit the streets with 25,000 other protesters. We were sandwiched in between Greenpeace, OPSEU, and the Ontario Federation of Labor. We marched south on University Ave and it felt good. There was a lot of drumming and chanting and everyone seemed in high spirits. Police were pretty much letting us walk wherever we wanted, and there wasn't any sign of a riot cop until the U.S. embassy. We ended up falling back further in the march because of getting baby supplies out of backpacks etc, and ended up behind the Black Bloc. (See HERE for info on what a Black Bloc is). We had friends who were in it and felt like it was a good space to be in because we knew they were planning on heading to the fence instead of marching North, and in the event of something happening they would let us know. Plus at least two of us are self-described anarchists and it felt like solidarity.

It wasn't long before we got word that police were confronting people, and by the time we had reached Spadina and University, the atmosphere felt tense. Someone lit a flare and that's when we started to walk quickly North to get away from the crowd.

It took us forever to get out of the downtown core as rioting began. TTC and Go Trains were shut down. When I finally got home I turned on the news and the only coverage was of the rioting. WHAT ABOUT THE 25,000 PEACEFUL PROTESTERS??? 

Overnight I received texts that more organizers houses were raided and arrests were made at the all night jail solidarity party. This morning I woke up to the news showing footage of peaceful protesters providing jail solidarity sitting on the ground getting tear gassed and hit with rubber bullets. Despite the fact that I was sore and exhausted from the last two days, I grabbed my friend and hit the streets again.

We took the subway to the prayer vigil which was organized by the Student Christian Movement. On the way there we were "befriended" by two men who really wanted to take a picture of us with the baby and who wanted to know what we knew. Just as I thought. We arrived at the vigil and they were taking lots of pictures and talking to other officers. Undercover Cops.

The vigil attendees left the corner of King and Church and headed west stopping at Bay street. The line of police moved a bit south so we were able to stand on Bay Street just south of King. There were about 45 of us, some sat, some stood, we sang hymns and said prayers. Many older folks and very peaceful. Within half an hour busloads of cops showed up in full riot gear. Within an hour I was able to takethese photos right after my friends bag was searched: 

We drew a lot of attention, mostly from onlookers, not protesters, but when a group decided to head North to Queen, they came with us! People filled the streets that had no previous intention of protesting!

Everything was well until we reached Spadina and Queen. There were rows of riot police blocking us so everyone stopped and stood in the intersection unable to go anywhere else.

I was standing nursing my son when a group of cops approached me and said that there were anarchists with weapons approaching from the south and they were going to deploy tear gas in five minutes so we should take the baby and leave. As I backed up a bit one of the cops turned to me and said "I bet you're pro-choice too?!?!" (I don't know what that was about.) 

From the East, cops came marching up the street towards us beating their batons against their shields. This is when we decided to walk a couple blocks away from the crowd just in case. We were pretty far away from the crowd so we couldn't see but suddenly everyone started running towards us. (THIS is what happened) At this point we took off and walked to TTC. That was right before everyone got blocked in at the intersection where they were left to stand in the freezing rain for over three hours with no bathrooms, water, or communication as to what the police were doing. 

When I got home, I stripped out of my soaked clothes, sat on the couch to nurse my son and turned on the TV to watch what was going down. I am still glued to the TV.

But something interesting happened when I logged onto facebook. 

A friend alerted me that someone at the vigil location sent a message to twitter saying "bringing a baby to a protest should be child abuse". This reminded me of a confrontation I had at Spadina where a protester dressed as an anarchist came up to me and THREATENED TO CALL CHILDRENS AID ON ME! What happened to solidarity?

These moments confirmed for me WHY I spent 20 hours over three days walking the streets, baby in a carrier, diaper bag on my back, breastfeeding, chanting and providing solidarity through photographing police searches, tweeting and updating my facebook status as well as warning other parents when we knew of civil disobedience that was happening.

Why?

BECAUSE IT IS MY RIGHT TO WALK THE STREETS SAFELY WITH MY BABY FREE FROM THE THREATS OF STATE IMPOSED VIOLENCE!!!

For those of us who were on the streets this weekend with children, we were demonstrating an incredibly powerful message. Like the old chant goes: "Whose Streets? OUR Streets!!"

Toronto is the city I have lived in for the last 12 years,and I have experienced policing. I was homeless. I was poor. My partners have been dis/abled. I'm openly queer. And yes, I'm the Mom who takes her kid out to the streets when she's not supposed to. Why? Because a Mom breastfeeding her child in the middle of an anti-globalization rally is an incredibly powerful message.

I don't mind the rioting, in fact I think it can be powerful symbolism enacted to remind us of the violence that G20 policies inflict on the worlds poorest people daily, even here in the streets of Toronto. Violence against people and destruction of property are two separate things.

For me, nursing in front of rows of riot cops was a powerful act of direct action. With the increase of globalization, women and childrens bodies are increasingly susceptible to violence, including the affects of formula advertising in developing (and developed) nations. Children are dying because of formula all around the world, and it's just a small part of a much MUCH bigger problem.

So yah, I took my baby into what looked like a war zone. Women all around the world are forced to do this everyday. I stood in front of men with guns and tear gas, and I would do it again. Because it is my right. And for those protesters who had an issue with it, instead of making me feel threatened among my own communities how about next time you ask how you can support me? Like the woman Friday who gave me a scarf to cover the baby from the sun, which I kept tied on us the rest of the weekend in case of sun or tear gas. What about yelling to draw attention to the baby if the cops attack? How about rallying if I get arrested to encourage authorities to allow me to keep my exclusively breastfed son with me so he can be nourished properly? 

These kids are the face of the revolution. They are the ones who are gonna continue the struggle when we no longer can.

And we will see you in the streets again.