Busy people: how do you maintain awareness of God's presence during the chaos?

I know that everyone knows this…but I am still fascinated by the fact that the words “listen” and “silent” use the same letters (and equally fascinated by the fact that “desserts” and “stressed” use the same letters as well.) Isn’t life interesting?

Those words are jumping out from my overfilled mind right now…loudly (“silent” and “listen” that is!)

I have little kids and I do one of those jobs that’s not easily contained to 9-5! In fact it seeps into much of the rest of my day and night.

There’s not a lot of silence. In the New Year…I am determined to make silence a focus!

I used to do my quiet / reflective time stuff in the morning. That time used to be absolutely sacred to me. I’d read the bible, write, reflect, pray and think. It would energize me for the day and the thoughts/ ideas that arose during that time would on some level circulate through my head each day. Certain stories from scripture would connect to stuff that was happening.

Since my kids have gotten older and my job more demanding, over the last few years I have gradually watched as that beautiful time got shorter and shorter. Over the last year I have found that this time has all but disappeared. Instead I jump out a bed and scramble around for an hour to frantically prepare for the day as I was too exhausted the night before to get my work done properly. And a vicious circle begins…

I found myself getting angry and resentful that I don’t have that time any more. Yeah, yeah…somewhat counterproductive eh? Nonetheless…these emotions still rise to the surface…

I have to say, though, that I do experience sacred moments with my kids and my job...

During the last few weeks, I have started going out into my backyard at night. What I’ve noticed is that as I enter into the silence, the stars start to emerge from the darkness. They were there all along but my eyes just started to adjust and see their light. What I’ve also noticed is that each time I go out there I see more….my schema expands. At first these little bits of light just appear random….but the more time I spend outside in silence…the more I see the patterns unfold.

Kind of like life eh (wait for it…wait for it…here comes the “attempted” deep thought for the day.) If I can still my mind enough to listen (i.e., when I’m on vacation, weekends…) bits of light start emerging into my life. I start to see patterns and synchronicities start to overwhelm me. The world fills with light and everything seems different.

But...all it takes is going back to work, back to the busyness and the noise…and BAM…it’s gone.

So I guess I’m tossing a question out to cyberspace here to all you people with little kids and crazy jobs (who might have actually read this little blog)…what do you do to maintain that connectedness when things are busy? …when you try to pray but your head just spins with thoughts and to do lists? …when you try to hold on to the refreshment of a worship service all week but it fades as soon as the rat race starts on Monday. When the stories of scripture aren't spinning through your head and conecting to hat you're doing because your brain is just full...

I've changed my profile picture to candles to remind me as I type into this blog/ discussion web site that if this outlet/ tool (i.e., getting those thoughts out of my mind that spin without bothering friends and family with them and instead tossing them out to cyberspace) becomes something that I spend too much time doing and is not a "light bringing" thing....I need to stop.

I head into the busyness again in 5 days. I want to maintain this sense of the sacred around me.... thoughts? ideas?

Busy parents...people with hard to contain jobs...what are you doing?

Thanks

Pam

Comments

buford12

Posted on: 12/30/2009 15:25

Pray without ceasing and stay in the Word. It's pretty tough even with grown children ............

mspianobug

Posted on: 01/09/2010 20:51

Hello Pam:

So much of what you said is a reminder of myself in past years. The busy days and nights and sometimes you just don't know how you will manage. I am way past that all now with my children in their 40's. The memory of those busy days are so sacred to me now. I miss my small children so much it hurts at times.

To many of your comments and questions I would just say; look at what you can live without or without doing. Does that floor really needs to be scrubbed? How much dust has to accumulate before the house falls down? Etc. I would never even gives those things a second thought if I had a second chance.

I would spend my time, and my quiet time with my children. I would take them more places and to church more often, although they have done well and are loving people, I always think I could have done so much better.

My hectic job would have been just a place to go for money while my children would have always been my "real" job. The quiet time I had for years was spent on the subway going to and from work and it is surprising how many books I read on those boring rides.

Relax and take it easy. Ask for help. Don't sweat the small stuff. This will all pass.

Linda