I have both parishioners and former parishioners as friends on Facebook. I never issue a friend request but I accept them. I have never unfriended a parishioner or a former parishioner. I actually find it a wonderful adjunct to pastoral work. I often discover pastoral situations earlier than I would otherwise. I also find that they seem to enjoy a glimpse into my personal life when I post. And I use Facebook for a lot of church related stuff. So my church friends get a lot of my personal stuff and my personal friends get a lot of my church stuff. No one seems to mind. Many comment on both from time to time.

I suspect that clergy probably ought to be a bit cautious about what they share, and how much.  I once had a clergy person on my list of FB friends (hadn't actually met him) who vented about a rather nasty church meeting.  Had I been at the meeting, or a member of the local community I could have identified the parishioners whose opinions were trashed publically.  Personally I thought it was pretty awful!

I knew someone who had two accounts.  I assume one was for people at the church/community and the other for people outside of that, although there were people friended on both.

It really depends on how someone uses facebook as well.

I have invited both of my ministers to be Facebook friends - one has accepted and the other hasn't responded. If she chooses to decline or never respond, that will be fine with me - no offense taken as I understand that she needs a private life. The one that has accepted hasn't posted anything about our church so far on his personal Facebook page. Our congregation has its' own Facebook page which gets updated from time to time - mostly by our office staff.

Our minister has the same policy as Steven - she doesn't issue friend requests, but accepts them......

When I lived in Yarmouth back in 2007, I loved the minister and I helped with the services and his wife would volunteer in my classroom.  They even invited me to their home for a meal and of course he's been to mine.  They were probably in their 60s.

Anyway, when I moved away I searched for him on FB but he declinded my friend request.  He phoned me in Cape Breton explaining he only has close family on FB (I had given him my new contact information for tax purposes and communication etc.).

As a teacher I do not allow parents or students to be my friends.  I have some girls I never taught but coached only after they graduated high school.

Hi crazyheart,

This drives me nuts.

I think the facebook definition of friend doesn't quite jive with a dictionary definition of friend.

I rarely issue friend requests.  I also think twice about accepting them.  The majority of my Facebook "friends" are actually better described as family or colleagues.  I have a few friends that I lost touch with over the years from high-school and the like.

Of my 216 Facebook "friends" 13 are individuals that I have had or continue to have a pastoral responsibility for.  Of those 13 I would probably hesitate to list several among my dictionary definition of friends.  Not because I don't like them but simply because our relationship is not so deep.  How deep is deep?  Can I recite their street address?  Can I name thier spouse and all children?  When was the last time I saw them?

Admittedly I would draw similar blanks with my old high-school firends and colleagues.

Which is why the Facebook notion of friends drives me nuts.

Grace and peace to you.

John

Agreed. If I counted Facebook friends as real friends, then a disproportional number of my friends decided to go into real estate or started a small business.