Yes, we have one after the service. Occasionally it does not happen (if no one has volunteered to host it.)

I have never known any intended purpose other than "fellowship."

Yes, it is well attended. It is right outside the sanctuary which seems to help. 

Yes, new people are invited by the lay leader.  We don't have ushers.  Not sure how many congregational members invite newcomers. 

Families and children are welcome.

Coffee, tea, cold drinks for the children. On communion Sundays the leftover bread and juice is put out along with the other offerings. Usually there is something to eat but it depends on who is hosting. 

Yes, the minister attends and circulates. 

Yes, it promotes fellowship within the congregation. 

Hi seeler,

On average we do not have a dedicated time of fellowship before the service.  We do have a number of people who introduce themselves to newcomers. Following worship we have a fellowship time.

Socialization primarily.  Providing an opportunity for members of the congregation to connect and catch-up over the weeks events or something in the life and work of the Church which is fast approaching.

We are trying very hard to keep the business of the Church (upkeep of plant and the like) out of this time though I know some members of our buildings and grounds committee will briefly get together and discuss specific repairs.

It introduces newcomers to various members of the congregation and seeks to find places where those newcomers might find a ministry to their liking.

Fairly well.  60 to 75% of those in worship tend to attend.

All three methods plus announcement in the order of service.

Yes, but no differently than any other visitor present.

We have children in the congregation we make no special provisions for visiting children.

Yes, yes, yes and yes.  Though in the summer we tend to dial back on the coffee and tea.

Yes.

Nice.  Referring to the minister as it.  That's warm 

I would say that it does what it is intended to do fairly adequately.  Otherwise most wouldn't stay for it.  We have added several new members over the last year so I imagine that a lot of connecting for those new members starts at the fellowship time following the service.

Grace and peace to you.

John

Just to add to the above.

On the last Sunday of the month from October to April we have a soup and sandwich luncheon during the Fellowship time.  A free will offering is taken and the days proceeds are split evenly between the Mission and Service Fund of the United Church and a local ministry.

On the third Sunday of Every month we have a book sale.  Everybody brings in their old detective, westerns or romances and we sell them for roughly $0.50 a title.  Those monies go towards the General Fund.  This sale takes place during the fellowship time at the back of the hall..

Grace and peace to you.

John

One minister called it conviviality. He was asked to call it coffee time, or fellowship. He refused. He went but sat in a corner alone. It was also noticed that he sat in a corner at funerals as well.

The rest of the folk visited and missed the fellowship time if it was cancelled for some reason.

Blast from the past, Crazyheart! I am pretty sure I remember this from the old "UCC buzzwords" thread. 

hahahahaha

When I was going to church people tended to enter and sit down in a pew.  I noticed that occasionally one approached another to chat and share a hug.  Sometimes there was a pot luck lunch to follow the service and an invitation came from the pulpit.  I never knew when these were scheduled and was never invited to contribute food.  Mostly I didn't stay as my partner would have been worried if I didn't get home at the usual time (lunch was often already prepared).  I felt 'left out' every time there was a pot luck lunch - there was always that nagging thought that they had discussed the topic and decided my cooking wasn't up to par or something. 

We have social time following Sunday worship - pretty much as others described above.  Lots of people stay for it.   Yes the minister & lay leaders are present & involved.  

When our church was extensively renovated a few years ago, the wall dividing the narthex & sanctuary went - so it is one large space.  At the back the floor is carpetted, and ceiling lower (balcony above) with a deep cranberry paint & nice sofa, upholstered chairs, coffee table & end tables & lamps etc - so it's very conducive to some folk sitting to chat & others mingle standing up.  There's an adjacent kitchenette where hot drinks are prepared; juice & water are also available, also cookies.  The kids come back up after Childrens' Church & join in - often skipping & socialing with their church buddies throughout the big sanctuary space.  

Prior to this renovation, there was a big trooping of everyone from the sanctuary downstairs to the church hall ... I think most prefer the main floor location we now use.  In summer, sometimes we go outside for lemonade on the lawn.  

Yes we have one after worship and I would say it is well attended. New people are invited from the pulpit, by the ushers/greeters and members of the congregation.

Children are included and there is a fruity type drink and snacks for them. It is held in the hall so they are free to run around/play with each other which I think they enjoy. Most often there are tea, coffee and cookies for the adults unless there is something "special" going on and then there will be more substantial fare.

I think it (coffee hour) serves it's purpose which I think is to socialize. Our minister always joins and circulates, there are always folks talking to him.

In our previous small rural congregation, coffee, tea, snacks or a light lunch were served in the hall after the church service. Almost everyone attended, as well as our minister, and sometimes the social gathering dragged on for two hours, with a committee meeting afterwards, so that church took all day.

The purpose of the social gathering was to socialize. It fulfilled this purpose rather well.

In our new city congregation, refreshmrnst are served in the hall after church service, but it is not as well attended, not as drawn out, and not the same type of close-knit social gathering as in our old congregation. I miss our old congregation!

The nature of a pot luck lunch is no one is specifically asked to make something, everyone just brings something.

Of course it does need to get announced for a Couple of weeks so people know about it.

I have been to potlucks with too many types of chili and some with minimal deserts or too many deserts but they always seem to work out.

Perhaps your church needs to send out a reminder email of the upcoming potluck lunch.

We have coffee after our service, lemonade on the lawn in the summer. All invited, all welcome. Kids run around, have juice .

While all are included I do find that groups of friends tend to. Gather and chat and it can seem as if there is no one free to. Chat with new comers.

We have been in discussion with elders about making a. Big effort to have greeters, attend with particular attention to visitors.

Social/coffee time after the service is the norm in UU congregations. So much so, that is sometimes called "UU communion" . We always mention it when giving the welcoming at the beginning of service and invite all who are present to stay. We used to have designated members (marked by drinking from blue mugs) who would talk to newcomers and visitors but with our shrinkage in recent years, this has fallen by the wayside. The minister, when he is "on" does attend (UU ministers generally get 1 Sunday off per month). We serve coffee, two teas (1 black, 1 herbal), juice for the kids and usually some biscuits or other light fare for snacking. Once a month we have a finger-food potluck (i.e. cold dishes like pitas and dip, sandwiches, wraps, etc. that don't require a lot of dishes or preparation) to which all are invited regardless of whether they bring anything. Occasionally, we will have other lunch events (soup lunches to raise funds for RE and that sort of thing).

Mendalla

At the church I attend (not so often lately) people always gather in the Narthex for coffee/ tea and some sort of cookies or treats. I tend to stay and say hello to people for a few minutes but don't hang around long. It's standing room only, people mingling. I think visitors might get missed because it's actually a fairly busy church- but there are greeters keeping an eye out, I think. There are fairly frequent potlucks for this or that occassion, too.

That reminds me. Years ago I went to a different UCCan church once with a neighbour who wanted to check it out. After church there was a big coffee time/ potluck spread out. We didn't know there would be. We didn't know what to expect. I overheard the greeters at the door talking with each other about how the visitors are only interested in the free lunch! Seriously! Luckily, someone I used to work with was a member, saw me, and welcomed us warmly. But because of that comment, I wasn't enthusiastic about going back there- felt like "since I know what they 'really' think, I don't feel welcome."...and ironically, I think they were lamenting that people come for lunch and don't come back. Well, I wonder why?! I think that was a bad day and I'm sure that was an exception, but an attitude for volunteers to be aware of.

Well, Kimmio, you sometimes hear stupid remarks like that, from within or outside the congregation. Don't take it personally.

When we hosted an all day Saturday workshop on aboriginal culture in our church hall, together with a free lunch, my wife heard someone in the audience say: "A free lecture and free lunch, you can't beat that!"

People who make remarks like that say more about themselves than about anyone or anything else.

We have an informal coffee time before church:  early arrivers get water from the water cooler or make a hot drink with the Keurig, if they want anything.  Fellowship time begins after the service downstairs with a variety of snacks including gluten free, cold and hot beverages.  One to several people always sit with newcomers.  I try to sit with newcomers at this time.  Usually if anyone wants to talk to me, they do so before I go downstairs.  The fellowship time sometimes lasts an hour and a half.  Next Sunday is birthday cake Sunday so people will be asked to sit with people who have the same birth month -- a birthday cake is supplied for each table. 

After service.

Well ... fellowship.

Generally speaking I'd say yes.

From the pulpit, yes. From the ushers, I don't think so. By others in the congregation - probably in some cases. I wouldn't really know.

Yes.

Not entirely sure what you mean. Often they play together; there are children's resources in the library. There's Wii down the hall. There are kid-appropriate refreshments.

Yes to all the drinks. Generally, no food, although sometimes (we did have some cupcakes and other assorted bars/sweets this past Sunday.)

Yup. Because I'm an introvert - it's the most exhausting part of the whole Sunday experience for me.

Its intended purpose is fellowship. I see fellowship happening. Therefore it fulfils its intended purpose.

Isn't it better to just call it "coffee time" or "social time" than fellowship hour? Maybe I'm just being too influenced by my mom who had a problem with words like "fellowship". I think she found it sexist- one of the things that turned her off about the Christian culture she was raised with (not that she was perfect but she did make some good observations). I just kind of find it old fashioned and exclusive sounding (not that not everyone's included- but that it sounds like an outdated word for an old fashioned club). It's going to sound weird to younger newcomers. I think we just call it "coffee time in the Narthex (otherwise known as "lobby" or "foyer"- which is quite often explained).

Thanks for your responses.  I'm pleased to see that fellowship is considered an important time in many UCC congregations.  To me it is one of the most important elements of being 'church'.    So important that if I were church-shopping I would be checking out their fellowship time.  If I found a church where everything else seemed a good fit but there was no fellowship time, I think I would try to institute one.

Carolla - I especially liked the fact that when renovations were done on your church you were able to move the fellowship area from the basement to the narthex.  Much more inviting and accessible.  I've heard people say that they don't attend in their churches because of narrow stairs or mould in the basement.  Not welcoming or inclusive. 

Fellowship time gives the congregation an opportunity to get to know one another - important since people no longer live in communities and often don't know their neighbours.  My downtown church draws people from all over the city, both sides of the river, the surrounding area.  We meet at the church.  Tea, coffee, cold drinks (for the children or anyone else) are served, along with several plates of cookies, breads, or squares.  New people are welcomed - invited in the bulletin, from the pulpit, and hopefully by the regulars sitting near them who (again hopefully) accompany them out to the corridor and down to the gym/kitchen/parlor wing (new 50 years ago). 

During fellowship people chat - get to know one another - get to know what is going on in the church - buy free-trade coffee - look over the books in the library which is rolled out once a month.   One or both ministers occasionally drop in.   Chairs and side tables are set up.  Children play at the far end of the gym, after they've had their cookie and drink - or they mingle among the adults. 

But it is not as well attended as it could be - I would think only 50% or fewer of the congregation attend on a regular basis.    And that interfers with it uniting the congregation and being a welcoming place to get to know one another. 

Also the accoustics are bad in the gym - cement block walls, tile flour.  And it is sometimes chilly. 

Being on the Affirming committee, looking into making our church a more welcoming, inclusive place for all people, I'm wondering if this important aspect of congregational life could be improved.

Some folks don't like the word "narthex" either because newcomers don't always understand it. We usually say "coffee hour in the narthex, right outside the sanctuary." But come to think about it, maybe everyone won't understand "sanctuary". I am not fussed about this myself, but I have heard the comments from others. 

Any comment about how "fellowship time" sounds to younger newcomers. Maybe I'm on a different page.

To be honest...to be totally honest...to me, fellowship time sounds like something exclusive to a Baptist convention. If that's what people are going for, okay. But I think most people just want to socialize after church a bit. That's really what it is. There's nothing overly special about that. If someone had said to me, at first visit, stay for "fellowship time"- it might have felt a little weird. As it was, I just had coffee after and met a few people.

We just call it "coffee after the service". 

"Fellowship" sounds like insider lingo to me. 

Me too. As a newcomer it would be the kind of thing that would make me cringe just a little. After awhile you just get used to the old insider lingo when you hear it (I still ask what some things mean because we hear it less)- but I remember being new to it and it did kind of make me feel a little uncomfortable.

I don't mean to be overly critical. There's nothing wrong with meeting and greeting and socializing after church. But, if the church wants to welcome new people- just pointing out some little things that might be aversions to people who want to go to church but feel like 'misfits' already- just by nature of the fact that it's unfamiliar. There's a whole generation of people who've never been to church- so as much as some of these words like "fellowship" are second nature to people raised in church- they are going to sound weird to many people.

Kimmio - we oldtimers need to know that.  Perhaps entrance hall is more familiar than narthex.   So we need to invite people to stop for a few minutes of 'getting to know you' in the 'entrance hall'.  

'meet and greet'

'happy hour'

'gathering time'

'mingle'

What words and phrases should we use?  

Join us for coffee time is fine. We have afternoon services that attract visitors a lot, and at Christmas concerts, so I've heard the minister explain light heartedly, "in case what your wondering what the Narthex is, it's what we call the 'lobby'- just out those doors at the front."

Or please stay for refreshments after the service...The fact that there'll be other people to talk to is implied. Most people don't want to feel too pressured, like when you walk into a store and three clerks ask if you've been helped yet. Casual approaches are good, IMO, anyway. Friendly, natural, but not overdoing it.

Good point, Kimmio. It is possible to overdo it. 

Now where is Crazyheart to tell us about Convivality Hour? I am not even joking. 

I'm right here and it was the most ridiculous name I ever heard for coffee time. Oh, well he was  the only one that used it. He was sitting alone and we were all sharing and having coffee. hahhhahaha

To be precise, I'm not actually sure what we call it, if anything offical. seeler asked about fellowship time; I knew what she meant. That's what we do. I think that it's just generally referred to as "a time for us to join together for refreshments in the Banquet Hall following the service."

I'm not sure we have a formal name. It is certainly not "Fellowship Hour" (though we are a fellowship, so it certainly is NOT a baptist thing). I think we just say "coffee time" when we discuss it in committee's and such. In the service, we say something like "please join us after the service for coffee and conversation" without really giving it a name.

I know Mendalla. It's my own bias. It's what I think of.

Thanks for popping in CH. 

Just thinking, sometimes a newcomer might need extra support if they're distressed or something.

Kimmio - if at fellowship time (coffee break, social time, whatever) someone appeared stressed, I would hope that one of the regulars might give them some attention - help them find a place to sit and sit with them, listen to them, get them some refreshments.  If advisable the minister might be called over, or another person (doctor, nurse, councillor, or exceptionally emphetic person) might be invited to join them.  Again, if it seemed appropriate they might be led to a quiet area or another room where they could talk or get their emotions under control.  An appointment might be set up for future contact.

Several years ago, while still fairly new in a big church and during a particularly stressful time in my life, I broke down crying during the social time.  Someone had asked me an innocent question, and in answering I found my voice breaking and tears forming.  Two or three people led me to a table and sat with me, patting my arm, making sympathic noises.  The Chair of the Board, who's day job was in grief counselling, came over and joined us.  They stayed with me until I stopped crying and was able to thank them and drive myself home.  The minister set up an appointment to visit me at my home during the following week.  No wonder I love this church!   

I also realize that some people might get stressed and simply exit the room and building without anyone noticing or knowing what to do.

We don't have a specific, regular, fellowship time before or after church, but we do have luncheons that arise from time to time.

The luncheons usually go along with some other kind of church event - Annual Meeting, other congregational meetings, baptisms, special anniversaries and birthdays, etc.  On average there is usually one about once a month.

We have sandwiches, dainties, coffee, tea, juice, etc.  Sometimes someone will bring cheese or pickles or fruit.  We really don't cater to those who have special food requirements, and since I have not been able to eat gluten grains (therefore those wonderful little sandwiches are out) I just bring my own lunch and eat along with the others enjoying the little sandwiches, which I love, so much :).

Everyone is invited, but not all stay for the "fellowship" time.  Some call it lunch, some call it fellowship lunch, some call it a celebration lunch, some just call it lunch. 

Families with children are very welcome (as is everyone else).  Newcomers are specifically invited.  The minister always announces it from the pulpit.

Our minister and spouse always attend the social/fellowship gatherings if they are able - they are very social people, and love fellowship time that is centered around food or a meal.  They visit with everyone.

We don't have coffee/tea time before or after service.  But many arrive early before the service and visit in the narthex,  We have some old pews in the narthex and several people come and sit there.  We have a row of chairs also for some of the elderly.  Our choir practices before church, and are supposed to be done by 10:30, but this nevef happens.  But perhaps that is a good thing because then people do visit all together in the narthex instead of in their own little pews.

We don't have anything after church (unless a luncheon) as we found that unless it is an actual luncheon people don't stay - I guess a lot need to eat right after church.

Over the years I have worked hard at joining newcomers for lunch who are sitting at a table by themselves instead of sitting with my friends.  I say "worked hard" because this is not something that comes easy to me.  Others have the gift, I don't . . . and therefore it is not easy for me, but I recognize how hard it must be for newcomers to come to church at all, let alone sit at a luncheon by themselves afterwards.

It does take effort & I am sure the newcomers appreciate it very much. 

As we are currently without a full-time minister, I am realising that this is something that might be falling through the cracks.  We have our "coffee hour" in the hall after the service every week, but I can't remember the last time that it was actually announced from the pulpit.

I am so surprised to read this Beloved - that this is work for you - I would never have surmised that from reading your posts here, which flow with concern and love and authenticity.  I laud you for stepping out of your comfort zone to be welcoming to others. 

Thanks for your kind words, carolla.  I think my concern and love for others is authentic . . . and that is why I make the effort. It (sitting with strangers and making conversation and trying to make them feel welcome) is definitely out of my comfort zone.  So, I do it out of love and concern - not because I am good at it or really want to .  It would be way easier for me to sit with my friends and hope someone else initiates the contact.  Sometimes others do, and I breathe a sigh of relief, but I could never let someone Ior their family) sit there alone.

Beloved - I understand where you are coming from.  I too find it hard to strike up a conversation with strangers.  But I remember being new in a church and a kindly woman invited me to join her, talked to me, introduced me to her friends, and included me in their conversation.  I've never forgotten her gift for being able to welcome people and include them. 

It doesn' come natural to me.  But if I see a newcomer sitting near me in church, I do make a point of inviting them to accompany me to the social gathering.  And if I see someone standing alone at the edge I make a point of going over to speak to them. 

But unless they are gifted in small talk, it feels awkward to me.

"Hello, are you new here?"

"Yes."

"I'm Hepizabah."  and I hope they will introduce themselves.

"Is this your first time here?"  Please, please answer in more than a word or two.

"I hope that you enjoyed the service."   Long pause.

"Cold weather we're having."

"Yes."

Please, somebody, walk by.  Let me introduce you.  Find something you have in common.  Let the conversation start to flow. 

I realize that they are probably even more uncomfortable than I am.  After all, I am on familiar territory.  I do my best to be open, friendly, welcoming - most Sundays.

Some Sundays I just talk with my daughter and granddaughter, or stand to one side and see if anyone approaches me.