Yes crazyheart, it does seem strange. Can anything be done to either change the arrangements or to discretely help people out who otherwise can't afford to go?

I would hope that they are doing something for those who can't afford it if this is the only party being held for this occasion. Perhaps there is another gathering at the church for the congregation and this is another type of party.

Or perhaps this was what was decided by the congregation. Or maybe it is what they always do for a retiring minister.
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Why do we always jump to the idea that charging a fee leaves soe people out. That may not be the case at all.
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And even if it does leave someone out, every event leaves someone out. You can't go because you work that night, you can't go because you are away, you can't go because you need a babysitter, you cant go because you don't drive at night or in the winter......
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When our ministers leave, and one is leaving this summer to go to a new call, we vary on what we do. But we always collect a gift purse for the minister. Voluntary donation. I have given sometimes and not others.
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I am sure there are people who disagree but that is what this congregation does.

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If you like the person leaving and want to wish them good bye At a congregational event, I dont think $10 or $15 is. At all out of line.

And I suspect the catering is to allow the entire congregation to be together, not having a dozen people stuck in the kitchen serving and doing dishes.

Well done leavings have a variety of events and ways to say good bye. A cake after church, a more foraml gathring,  maybe a chance to drop by the church mid week for coffee.

I see no issue having a dinner catered. Indeed-our congregation has suffered from potluck burnout-at times-and we've hosted events other ways.

As for those who find this too much for their income-my sympathies. It's ok not to do everything. As a single mom on a tight budget with 3 young kids-we passed up events for the cost and it was ok. As long as there is another way to wih the departing well.

Years ago, the minister at my church retired. (And it wasn't simply moving on to another pastoral charge - he was retiring from full-time ministry to be an "official" retiree.)

I was on the session then, and we talked about what we wanted to do. There was no "one" event. For example, At his last official session meeting, we had coffee and treats, and chatted with him to wish him well.

At his last official service, the children made a presentation.

But I remember that  there was enough interest for a catered event. Plenty of people wanted a Saturday night gala dinner that was catered. We didn't want to ask the UCW to slave away to make and clean up a meal while the rest of us enjoyed ourselves. We all wanted to be catered to and spend our time with the minister. It was a fantasitc three course roast beef dinner. I remember that there were almost no children there, because it was not the kind of event that would appeal to them.

My husband and I got to sit at the head table with the retiring minister, because we were the only couple in attendance at that dinner who had been married by him. (And I guess there aren't too many married couples who actually have a relationship with the minister that married them. But that was us.)

Anyway, I certainly do remember that there were a series of events to say goodbye to the retiring minister. Some were big, some small. Some on Sunday, some not. Some were private events hosted by church members. Some more formal, and some not.

I too can get tired of potluck.  One church I knew had certain events catered (actually by several people in the congregation who were chefs or gormet cooks).  For quite some time we asked for donations to cover expenses and almost always had a small profit to donate to the church.  When people asked what they should give, they were told 'whatever you wish'.  Then one woman got upset - apparently she had noticed that some people put in less than she did, and somebody didn't put in anything at all.  From then on there was a set price collected at the door.  Nobody got in without paying.  I don't know if that improved their finances, or if the majority of people were happier with the arrangement.  I do know that some people didn't attend because they couldn't afford it.

I guess I have to call everybody on this one.

I think it is good to have different farewells - session, children, coffee time but I also think that to be welcoming ( as we all blather about) we have to be welcoming to all( especially at a farewell).

I think catered affairs at church are great but for this particular event , I think not.

I don't mind if you all disagree with me.

All? I totally agreed with you from the get-go on this one. A church is a community, and I believe people in the church should not be split along socioeconomic lines. A church should not set out to create different classes amongst its members.

welcoming does not mean that EVERYTHING pleases everyone all the time CH.

In my church many events happen that exclude me. They happen M-F during work hours.-and are suspended in the summer when I'm not at work.

Some events are child friendly. Some events are not.

Our LENS on Lent series happens on Tues. evenings in Lent. You are supposed to sign up. For $10 there is pizza and drinks-and often dessert.

Afterwards there is a movie and a discussion.

Movie is free-with the copyright liscense we use-we can't charge for it

Sp no economic barriers-folks choose when to come (and the gluten free folks either order their own pizza-bring food from home-or come after we have eaten.

It's not child friendly-either by the movie tittles or by the time of day.

If you have strong feelings about this retirement CH you might choose to speak to the organizers-and hear the full story.

Its got nothing to do with me, Tab. I don't go to this church but I just thought it was funny but obviously just about everyone thinks it is okay so thats fine. Never thought Jae and I would agree. hahahaha

Crazy - read my post again.  I didn't think it OK.  In fact I don't think any church event should have a charge  (excluding fund-raising events like turkey suppers or rummage sales).  Church celebrations, family, faith development, and social events should be by donation only.