It then went on to say all are welcome to a reception after.

I guess they wanted people to know what kind of funeral service it would be. Perhaps they have friends and family who've expressed discomfort with Christian tradition before. It kind of sounds like they're pre-empting complaints beforehand.

Could be family stuff.

Some are not interested in a church service.  Others are.

They said, fine, we are having a church service, if you want to come, come.

They aren't going ot make it non-christian for those who aren't christian

Either that, or they don't want non-Christians at the service. Sounded almost exclusionary, but maybe that's me.

What do you think Bob would have wanted?

That's what my mind went to, too.  Not neccessarily non-Christians, but maybe Pagans, Satanists, the really outspoken atheists etc. within the family that some try to avoid as much as possible.  I would assume the church is more to the conservative side too.

Excactly. The wording sounded like *if* you were comfortable, *then* you were invited. Not comfortable? Presumably not invited. At least, by the wording chosen.

And again, maybe that really wasn't the intent. These things are written by families, sometimes at the last minute, and certainly under duress. I'm not blaming them, just pointing out how it sounds.

Hmm, i took it as a caution.

It will be a christian tradition, if you aren't comfortable with such then they don't want to make your life harder.

I think that they are trying to be coniderate, recognzing some won't wish to be part of a christian service and inviting those who aren't to the reception that follows.

You're probably right. Besides, they're asking for donations to Oxfam, which is not a religious charity, and the guy was Anglican, which I always thought of as Christianity-Lite before I came here. They accepted me and my wife parachuting in for our wedding when they knew they'd never see us again, so they can't be that strict.

So, I have to say it's just me reading it not as intended.

I think its probably just awkward wording.  They are letting people know that it will be a Christian funeral service.  

I'm wondering how it would come across if the invitation read something like Wiccan service, or Muslim service, or a Viking send-off, instead of Christian service, and John Doe was somebody I worked beside or on my bowling team, or a neighbour who loaned me his step-ladder and helped clean out my gutters and I invited over for a backyard bbq.   Would I want to know in advance?  Would I feel comfortable going?  

If they were friends, I would go to the service, if it were christian or not.

God, I have an ugly avatar.

lol, yup.  the good news is, that you will change it soon

I'm probably would now, but ten years ago I could easily identify with people who might be concerned about what to expect or how welcome they would feel - where to sit, or stand, or kneel - would they be expected to participate in any way - would their presence make others feel uncomfortable.

I know some people who feel uncomfortable at an RC funeral.  When to kneel?  Cross themselves?  Take part in communion, or not?  

I took it as a different way to extend the invitation to those who knew John Doe, and to pass on to them the information that it was going to be a Christian burial service, perhaps with communion, perhaps with other parts of a Christian service that were meaningful to John Doe.  Perhaps they were just letting the general public know (maybe he had a wide variety of friends, from a wide variety of life (including faith, culture, etc.) that they were welcome to come if they wanted to attend specifically the Christian bural part, but if that for some reason was not comfortable to them, they could join the family in the reception time and would be fully welcomed there if they didn't attend the church part.

beloved, you are so smart. Reading the obit further it says he spent  over 50 years in the University, teaching ad mentoring hundreds of students from all over.In a separate article in  this morning's paper, it stated that he spent time in China, was an English teacher and a story teller.He also wrote a book about the Chinese Cultural Revolution.. He obviously , had many Asian friends from his time teaching there,

So, my friends, this has taught me, never to assume, There is always a reason.

Sounds like you're still making assumptions CH ;)