Week 6: "I Am Listening" Lenten Discussion

I Am Listening

Week 6: "I Am Listening" Lenten Discussion

Posted on: 03/25/2012 08:02

Thanks to everybody who has offered their comments and Lenten reflections. We are approaching the end of our long Lenten journey. Week 6 of WonderCafe's Lenten devotional book study continues with reflections on the daily devotions from the book I Am Listening: Daily Devotions for Lent (UCPH, 2011). Everyone is welcome to join in. We love hearing your thoughts and responses to the Lenten themes as we journey together.

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Fifth Sunday in Lent | The Body of Christ Broken

"Jesus cried with a loud voice, 'Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?' that is, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'"

Matthew 27:46

Total isolation. Jesus hanging from a cross, rejected by the people and feeling forsaken by God. One can only imagine the mental, emotional, and spiritual anguish of that moment. It does not get any bleaker than that.

For our Canadian Forces (CF) members who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), that bleakness is no stranger to them. In the depths of their despair they struggle to give and receive unconditional love. Their trust has been diminished—even to their immediate family. Hope is all but gone. Self-forgiveness is impossible. Where once there was purpose and meaning in life, now there is none. The sense of belonging they enjoyed is now replaced with total isolation. And they cry out from their shattered soul, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

PTSD often plunges our CF members into what some have called “spiritual despair.” Their relationship with their God has been altered. Many become very angry and feel abandoned by God. Prayer becomes very difficult. Some feel they are being punished by God for something they have done or not done, and many begin to question the existence of God. As a mental health chaplain working at an Operational Trauma and Stress Support Centre, I have had many opportunities to walk with our CF members in their search for relief. I recall one experience that I am very thankful for.

It was in Cyprus. I was part of a mental health team doing third location decompression for our troops as they made their way back home from Afghanistan. I met a member who was diagnosed with PTSD and was doing very well in his recovery. After I had announced the timing for the worship service, he came to me and said he could not attend. He went on to say he used to go to church on a regular basis, but since his horrific experiences in churches in faraway lands he could no longer walk through the door of a church. He said, “Padre, since then, I cannot bear to look at a crucifix.” I thanked him for sharing, assured him that my prayers were with him, and hoped that he could overcome that huge obstacle in his spiritual life.

About two minutes after I started the service, and much to my surprise, the same man walked in and sat down. He stared at the crucifix on the communion table. He sobbed and cried through the entire service.

After worship we spoke privately, and I shared that I could only imagine how difficult walking into church must have been for him. He said, “Padre, I’m sorry for crying, but today is also the 10th anniversary of my attempted suicide.” We spent more time together over the next few days, and he called home happy to tell his wife that he had gone to church.

As I prepared my next service I asked him if he would not only come, but serve communion with me as well. After some hesitation, he agreed. There we stood, side by side, he with the bread and me with the wine. As each person came forward, he looked into their tired eyes with heartfelt conviction and said, “The body of Christ broken for you.”

The morning of his departure he took me aside and said, “Padre, I have something for you.” Into my hand he pressed a small jewellery box. I opened it to see a beautiful silver crucifix. We embraced and we cried.

Prayer

Gracious and all-loving God, you know all too well

the total bleakness of a traumatized and shattered soul.

You were there.

May your light shine as to be a beacon of hope

for our CF members who suffer from PTSD.

May your love flow through them like a mighty river

until they once again feel your peace in their soul.

In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

Discussion: Recall a time when going to church was painful. How did healing come?

I Am Listening: Daily Devotions for Lent (UCPH, 2011).

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Comments

MikePaterson

Posted on: 03/25/2012 19:16

Boarding school made "church" hateful for me… it was the pivot for organisied bullying and persecutuion tantamount to "abuse" in the language of today. Billy Graham liberated me because me drove me to atheism… I saw emotion manipulation and freaky controlling rechniques in his "preaching" at a rally we got taken to. It reminded me newsreels I'd seen of Hitler rallies.

Atheism and a transcendent experience (a vivid naturally-induced experience of the vastness and intricat, extraordinary beauty of absolute mystery) ) together freed me from fear and anxiety and opened me to "god" …sure, it purged my anger, but it went much, much further than that and I felt part of an infinite, unintelligible timelessness. And then the gospels began making some sense to me.

I Am Listening

Posted on: 03/26/2012 10:04

Day 29: Monday | Let's Not Wait

"When Elijah heard it [a sound of sheer silence], he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, 'What are you doing here, Elijah?'" 1 Kings 19:13

“What are you doing here?” This is probably not the greeting Elijah was expecting while standing, all by himself, at the mouth of a cave. Elijah answered the question by defending his presence: “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts; for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left, and they are seeking my life, to take it away” (1 Kings 19:14). The Lord was more puzzled than surprised. Perhaps God was asking, “Did I ask you, Elijah, to come here? Did I not send you to lead my people?” God is puzzled by Elijah’s waiting presence.

While Elijah waited at the cave with a cloak over his face, he could have been living out the mission God had sent him on. As we wait for God to show us the way, we could be praying to God for guidance. As we wait for Jesus’ second coming, we could be birthing God’s reign here on earth. We could be creating a world worthy of Jesus’ presence. The energy we spend waiting could be put to better use, holy use.

Perhaps it would be more helpful to consider this: Jesus is waiting for us to be ready for him, waiting for our deeper devotion, dedication, and love. Let us not waste another minute! Let us go to the mouth of the cave and walk out of it. Let us seek God in every corner of our lives and not wait for Christ to find our favourite hiding place.

The Holy One is waiting for us… let’s not keep waiting!

Discussion: In our waiting for God what might we be avoiding? Think of one thing you have been waiting to do with God and do it now!

I Am Listening: Daily Devotions for Lent (UCPH, 2011).

I Am Listening

Posted on: 03/27/2012 07:57

Day 30: Tuesday | Lost in Translation?

[The angel] said to me, “What is the matter with you? And why are you troubled? And why are your understanding and the thoughts of your mind troubled?” I said, “It was because you abandoned me.

I did as you directed, and went out into the field, and lo, what I have seen, and can still see, I am unable to explain.” 2 Esdras 10:31–32

The mystery of “what is God” is just that—a mystery. Yet, we can still discern the voice of God as the seers of old did. We do this in communities, as individuals, when we seek to better understand our place, our call, and how to make the world a better and more just place.

Oftentimes, our own response to a call from God is similar to the one here. We are troubled, scared, convinced that we have misinterpreted what we feel or sense. Certainly, my own call to ministry was much like this. I was quite sure that I had heard wrong, as what I was being called to bore no resemblance to the plan I had for my life. But, having pursued that calling for a number of years now, I know that I heard correctly, despite being more than a little uncertain at the time. Even now, I still cannot explain fully what I have seen, and I certainly do not understand why; but I trust in God, and so my spirit is calmed.

We, too, can and must trust in God to be our guide through life. There is no reason for our hearts to be troubled when we are close to God and the Good News of Jesus Christ is truly our news, too.

Prayer

Amazing and distant God,

even when we do not understand your plan for us,

help us to trust in you.

May we be always embraced in the love you offer us.

Amen.

Discussion: How have you felt God’s call? When? How have you responded?

I Am Listening: Daily Devotions for Lent (UCPH, 2011).

MikePaterson

Posted on: 03/27/2012 10:35

Today's "prayer" puzzles me… "distant" god???

Waiting for "god" (yesterday's question that I've been thinking about for 24 hours) is what is itself easy to avoid: "waiting" feel pointless when we can be getting on with so many grand designs… life can seem busy, full and demanding… but rushing just obscures the the presence of "god" and god's constant "call" to us. What I think is "important" has almost always proved foolishness in the end. What is really important is always under our feet and all around us. Stillness plays a tremendous, necessary role in this life. Silence is full of the meaning that matters.

It took me a long time to start listening.

I am easily enthused, easily distracted, endlessly curious… "god" kept following me, tagging along wherever I went, and surprising me.

This "god" I'll never understand (but love more and more) called me out of the blue and away from a "good" and "important" career to support my wife in her ministry and I've tried to do that consistently… but I do get distracted. Then again, I've sometimes learned that the occasional distraction has been supportive in ways I hadn't seen or expected.

Listening to "god" isn't easy… she radiates from life and hides under stones, she sings like a tornado and whispers so she can only be heard if the soul is silent… she fills crevices with light and beauty, and casts dark shadows over towering magnificence… she laughs when we disappont ourselves and glowers over our proudest successes but cherishes us with every gesture, word or glimpse of truth. She will turn on its head anything we try to say about her.

"God" doesn't take us half as seriously as we take ourselves. She is easier to please than we think, but is never satisfied. "God" delights in us. "God" is impossible to deceive and impossible to placate. We are simply loved. We never get things quite "right" but all "god" really ever asks of us is to be open to love. "God" has no "purpose" for us… we ARE "god's" purpose and we will never understand it because we cannot understand ourselves.

Beloved

Posted on: 03/27/2012 11:28

It always amazes me when I've heard God's call and responded, and then looked back to see how things all worked out. To me God is amazing as the prayer indicates. I also struggled with the "distant" God as MikeP expressed above. My understanding is that God is never distant from me, but rather I distance myself from God - by not responding to the all, by not listening, by not including in processes, by ignoring, and by disobeying.

There have been many times when I have felt "called" to serve in various ways within my church family - not always necessarily because I have really wanted to, but rather because God drew me to. And when I have looked back, it really was what I was supposed to do at the time. I've also felt "called" to withdraw from certain parts of service, and again, that worked out as it was meant to.

There have been many times when I have felt "called" by God to go, to do, to be somewhere - and it turned out that is exactly where I was meant to be. When I listen to the voice of God within me I am where I am supposed to be. I would have missed the last hour of my mother's life here on earth if I listened to voices telling me it wasn't urgent instead of what I believe was God's voice telling me to go.

MikeP posted . . . "God" doesn't take us half as seriously as we take ourselves. She is easier to please than we think, but is never satisfied. "God" delights in us." Words of comfort.

I Am Listening

Posted on: 03/28/2012 07:16

Day 31: Wednesday | Hope Makes Love Possible?

"...the greatest of these is Love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

Hope promotes peace

–peace of mind in thoughts and actions

Hope inspires faith

–faith that God will pull us through

Hope encourages freedom

–freedom to cast off chains

Hope motivates kindness

–kindness to others and ourselves

Hope brings laughter

–laughter in our daily lives

But above all Hope makes Love possible

Love that encompasses all

Love that never judges

Love that knows no bounds

Love that endures forever.

With this kind of hope, we can overcome anything, our trials and tribulations, our fears and doubts, our oppression and defeats. We can make the world a better place.

Prayer

Dear God,

we pray for strength in our tough times,

and for hope when we need it.

In our high-pressure world,

it gets hard to follow your path.

When we are sidetracked,

may we always try our hardest

to return to you. Amen.

Discussion: Describe a moment when you needed hope. Describe a time you were sidetracked from God. Where did or could you find love in those moments? If you did not or could not, what blocked the love?

I Am Listening: Daily Devotions for Lent (UCPH, 2011).

Jim Kenney

Posted on: 03/28/2012 15:21

Love is the root of all created being.

Beloved

Posted on: 03/29/2012 11:44

Hope, for me, has been needed in times of illness, times of loss, times when circumstances were not what I wanted them to be.

I sometimes get sidetracked from God when I get busy "doing" - whether that is in the church or in other areas of my life. When I am "doing" and want to be in control.

There are times when I've felt that others didn't love me, but I don't think I can remember a time in my relationship with God that I felt God didn't love me. Maybe I felt God wasn't doing what I thought I wanted God to do . . . but even in that I believed God loved me.

I Am Listening

Posted on: 03/29/2012 13:00

Day 32: Thursday | He Calls Them by Name

"The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out." John 10:3

New parents are faced with a number of incredibly challenging tasks, but perhaps one of the most important of these is choosing a name for their baby. The name they choose will be with the child for the rest of the child’s life—what a responsibility! It is the name the child will learn as their own, the one to which they will respond when they hear it called. As they grow up, it is how other people will recognize them, how they will be identified, teased, and praised. It will be shouted, whispered, and mispronounced, and written on lunch bags, notebooks, and articles of clothing. One day it will be used to file taxes, buy a home, or apply for a passport; it might be spoken by the minister in a marriage ceremony, and one day it will be chiselled onto a gravestone. The name we are given at birth is bound up with our identity at the most fundamental level, even beyond death.

You are much more likely to remember someone if you learn their name, or if they remember yours. Learning someone’s name is powerful, creating a different sort of interpersonal bond than anonymous contact. This isn’t the kind of relationship we usually look for with store clerks and, especially as reserved Canadians, we avoid using the first names of people we don’t know for fear of the awkward dynamic that might result. Communicating via the Internet, we might use fake names to protect us from unwanted entanglements.

The Bible verse for today talks about sheep being called by name. This is a strange image. Can you imagine a flock of sheep being herded through a gate one by one, each responding with a skip in its step to the sound of its name? Can sheep even learn their own names? However, the point of this odd phrase is that the Beautiful Shepherd (kalos, in Greek) knows each one of us by name and calls (kalew) us home with a startling intimacy. We’re not just herded one way and then the other; God knows our names, our faces, our individual quirks, and personalities, and leads us accordingly with a certain grace of movement.

We hear the call of the Shepherd, and the Shepherd summons us with the love of a parent saying their new baby’s name for the first time.

Discussion: How might you let the love of God touch you in deeper ways today?

I Am Listening: Daily Devotions for Lent (UCPH, 2011).

BetteTheRed

Posted on: 03/29/2012 22:02

I know that I let love touch me more deeply when I am open rather than closed.

It's very easy, in our busy lives, to get self-obsessed and xenophobic, and cocoon ourselves in what comforts us. It's harder to stay always open, receptive, perceptive of the messages and signals that surround us.

I Am Listening

Posted on: 03/30/2012 14:14

Day 33: Friday | God Hears

God heard the voice of the boy; and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven, and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Do not be afraid; for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is.”

Genesis 21:17

Living in Guatemala I have grown very aware of the plight of the poor people of that country and how their lives contrast so vividly with conditions in my home country of Canada. Initially I assumed it would be difficult for Guatemalans struggling with such poverty to see the brightness from above. I thought they would live every day so full of worry, resentment, anger, and fear that their troubles would consume them. This could not be further from the truth.

Roaming the streets of small Mayan towns I am surrounded by grins, waves, and laughter. Small children eye me, older gentlemen tip their hats, and the women chat and laugh together. I do not know what they are saying, but I know for sure they are not feeling sorry for themselves. They know that God has heard their children’s cries, that God has heard their own cries. With this knowledge, they must not waste precious moments worrying; God is carrying that burden. With this knowledge they must not spend their days weeping; God knows the sorrow in their hearts.

Today’s scripture verse is a difficult and heartbreaking story. Abraham has banished Hagar and her child to the desert. There they no longer have water. Hagar cannot bear to watch her son die, and so she walks away to weep in the distance. What she does not know is that Abraham is full of remorse and has prayed to God to watch over them. Had Hagar walked a little farther, she would have stumbled upon a well. Her sorrow had blinded her from what was right in front of her: a well, living water, God.

As Christians we are called to have blind faith, not to be blinded by faith. Blind faith is a trusting faith. Trusting in God sometimes means having the courage to look for a solution. Trusting in God means opening our eyes to the ugly realities around us and the opportunities for us to build God’s reign now.

Trusting in God means facing pain and injustice, knowing that God will provide through us, for “God has heard the voice of the boy where he is.”

Discussion: God is in the driest places of our lives. In your moments of fear and sadness, where are you able to find “the living water” that God has set out for you? Why do you suppose there can be real joy in Guatemalan poverty?

I Am Listening: Daily Devotions for Lent (UCPH, 2011).

I Am Listening

Posted on: 03/31/2012 10:59

Day 34: Saturday | The Fall

"…God made to grow every tree…" Genesis 2:9

I walked into the forest

Leaves crunching softly under my feet

My mind filled with thoughts

My heart heavy with anguish

I sat down on the lush carpet of leaves

And leaned in relief against a tree trunk

Huddled

All my thoughts focused inward

Alone

Until I noticed the new leaves gathering at my feet

Falling softly with gentle resignation

Carried by the whim of a wind

I looked upward in amazement

To see the canopy above me ablaze with colour

Bright green leaves once filled with life

Now dying in brilliant fiery tones of red and orange

Falling in graceful sequence

Onto the forest floor

This rhythmic ritual of death wherein

Lives the promise of new life

After the cold winter had visited

There would be new life again

I thought as I gazed at this scene

Of another tree

Upon which the Saviour of the World hung

His blood running a deep fiery red

Flowing from his hands, his feet, his broken side

I closed my eyes

And as the bright red leaves of the tree brushed against me gently

On their downward fall

I felt Love flow over me

Teaching me the beauty of death to self

And the radiant promise of new life

Resurrected life

Springing up inside me

Growing as gently and mysteriously

As the secretive inner life of the tree

Conquering the brutality of external elements

I left that day, my heart bursting with hope

Bursting with the promise of renewed inner life

Life that rises above the whimsical nature of my circumstances

Life beyond death

Life of Jesus

Prayer

Creator God, you planted trees to be pleasant for us.

Jesus Christ, you once gazed at lilies and birds and found

God’s care for us there.

Holy Spirit, with your still small voice, you caress our ears,

as a gentle breeze.

Three-in-one, keep me open to all that is around me,

that I may know and love you more. Amen.

Discussion: Choose one small object from nature, such as a stone, leaf, or petal. Hold it in your hand and gaze at it for a few moments. What might that object be telling you about God?

I Am Listening: Daily Devotions for Lent (UCPH, 2011).

MikePaterson

Posted on: 04/01/2012 08:19

SORRY : had a crazy, good, exciting day yesterday… I didn't get to the reflection stuff until I went to bed.

Living water: living water flows uphill and downhill, it flows to fill where it goes, not leak from it — it overflows. Living water is the natural habitat of our souls. I can't imagine that it could possibly be kept out.

We can force ourselves, though, to be unaware of our souls and, I suspect, the thirstier they get, the less our bodies like us going there. Our bodies are jealous. Our bodies are fretful —they know what's in store, they sulk and grumble and long to over-compensate for their state of inescapable frustration. And, when we let our bodies keep our souls under lock and key, we divorce ourselves from spiritual sensation.

"Lock and key" can mean "belief", "fear", "denial", "attachments", "possessiveness"… "lock and key" means withdrawal. And the more sincere it feels, the more securely do "belief" "fear". "denial", "attachment" and "possessivenes" alienate us from our souls.

The soul is the princess in the tower. Our will is the knight who's transformed into a prince when he rescues her from her captor, or the dragon.

If we open to our own souls, we find ourselves awash in living water, borne along with it, swept into comunity with enveloping love. It erupts as joy in the face of everything that might want to control it, harness it, destroy it… it's the body that corrupts, that pains us, that fails… our soul is like a plug into the mains of existence, into a universal grip of love energy. Our body is what we are left with when we pull the plug, and it's capable of as much discomfort and disappointment as we can stand, and more.

We make the choice…

Today?

I carry with me a small stone. It's my "truth" stone" it is black and impenetrable and I do not know anyting about its story. It's like truth to me: total mystery…

But I feel in in my hand, hard, weighty and elegant, so I know it exists; I know I can hold it. It is hard, real… smooth and perfectly formed to my hand. I know it existed long before I was born and will last long after I am gone… I am a tiny little moment it its history.

But it is no less of a mystery to me for any of that. It came to me. I picked it up on a beach because it was so strikingly, purely black, unlike any of the other stones around. And it was beautiful. How it came to so gently fit my hand, I don't know, yet it does. The details of its composition, making, source, forming… all are mystery to me.

And my stone reminds me that I can trust the mystery.

My stone, like so many things of beauty around me, is also a prayer. Gratitude effervesces in me when I'm brought to such things, to such moments, and that has become my one prayer… gratitude.

What does it tell me about "god"? Absolutely nothing. It just makes me grateful for "god" — or whatever the mystery might disclose. It makes me thrill to be here in the moment, now…

BetteTheRed

Posted on: 04/01/2012 09:11

I loved the line "the secret inner life of the tree". Reminds me of how arrogant we humans are thinking ourselves some sort of pinnacle of creation.

There is a tree outside of my den window. I planted the tree with my dad when it was just a sapling and I just a toddler, so we are roughly the same age.

Over the years, this tree has been servant to all the creatures in its aura. It feeds, shelters and entertains hundreds of generations of squirrels and birds. Its leaves provide shade in summer, an unrivalled palette of brilliant reds, oranges and golds to bring joy to the eye in the fall, mulch for roses and rhododendrons over the winter and finally compost - the spring wonder that brings everything to brilliant life again. On its limbs children have climbed, bird baths and bird feeders have welcomed its winged friends. Prunings to keep it healthy and airy have provided lots of logs to fuel my Hippie's woodstove with which he heats his little cabin.

It's also 50 feet tall and beautiful. And the entire sum of its maintenance over 50 years is 4 to 6 tree fertilizer spikes most years and a couple of 'tree guy maintenance' visits.

How can my puny presence and contribution compete?

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Week 6: "I Am Listening" Lenten Discussion

Posted on: 03/25/2012 08:02

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