if.i.were.a.boy
Red Skin
Posted on: 08/21/2009 04:06
I have never been proud to be a Native American. Another thread on this forum triggered this realization. I have pale skin compared to my brothers & sisters. My mother is full Plains Cree and my dad is part German and Cherokee. At a young age I learned to hate myself and everything my nationality represented. I was well on my way to being assimilated, having no knowledge of my mother tongue, not having an Indian name as a child and complete ignorance of my traditions as a Cree. My mother is a residential school survivor, so it is no suprise that she did not teach me and my siblings our language or culture. I was a grade A student in school. I lived on a reserve. I got introduced to drugs and alcohol like any other teenager. I graduated highschool. I realized I was gay, which only added to the self-loathing I already had for being Native. I always tried to be someone I was not. I wanted to be white. I wanted to be treated with respect and dignity. Being Native and two-spirited in a small community was hell on earth. It hurts to read about "land claims" and the persistent ignorance of Canadians. It hurts to be Native. For so long I denied who I was and I perpetuated the ugly hurt. I pray for the education and enlightenment of all mankind. Difference doesn't have to divide us as human beings. It can unite and empower, but only if we are willing. Today, I am proud to be a Cree, Cherokee, German homosexual woman. And I am so grateful to have the courage and peace of mind to proclaim my identity.
I wonder if other people have had similiar experiences: Have you been ashamed of your nationality, sexuality or beliefs? What can you do to alter the perspective of outsiders? How do you love & accept someone or something so completely different from you?
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if.i.were.a.boy
Posted on: 08/21/2009 04:10
jon71
Posted on: 08/22/2009 06:20
I don't have your life experience but I want to give you a big hug and lots of encouragement. I'm glad that you're embracing all of who you are. GOD made you a wonderful unique person, like you said, Cree, and German, and Cherokee, and gay, and everything else, and HE did so innerantly. GOD bless you dear and I wish you every happiness. For what it's worth I'm British, Irish, Welsh, German, and Cherokee. Maybe we're really distant cousins, perhaps on two sides, wouldn't that be cool!
Brittany Caroline
Posted on: 08/22/2009 07:08
* Wow, Congrats on finally accepting who you are. Be proud of who you are !*
Dcn. Jae
Posted on: 08/22/2009 07:28
Rejoice in who you are. Celebrate your red skin. Sing every aspect of the being you were created to be. The world needs you and needs you at your best. How delightful to see you triumph in your self.
jesouhaite777
Posted on: 08/22/2009 10:34
Lets see
Why be ashamed of anything why embrace a victim mentality ....
Why do you care what other people think ?
You just love and accept it as long as it loves and accepts you
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar ......
if.i.were.a.boy
Posted on: 08/23/2009 23:18
Why be ashamed of anything why embrace a victime mentality ....
Intergenerational cultural genocide has its lasting effects. How was I supposed to be proud, when I grew up with countless stereotypes and a single parent mother? There was only so much she could do, playing the role of two parents, so yes I embraced a vitcim mentality. From the pain and prejudice of that God-awful experience, I am a better person for it. I am the epitomy of an "anti-stereotype". I used to care what people thought about me, but now I no longer. This thread was aimed at self-realization and not seeking self-pity. I just felt compelled to let others know how it feels behind red skin. The world takes on a different hue and vibrancy, and I appreciate ALL the bad in my past, because it has made me the strong person I am today.
Hai Hai (Thank You)
Tiger Lily
Posted on: 08/23/2009 23:36
I really admire you for knowing and embracing who you are. And also love the topic that you've started here. It's a good one.
I'll give this some thought.
TL