hey pog, I hear what you''re saying! my grandmother passed away in the springtime, after a very long drawn out battle with dimentia(sp?)... it was really hard to be around someone who you used to bake cookies with and watch her harvest vegetables from her garden not remember your name. but i guess its those good memories that really shape who you are!

Wow. Can I ever relate to what you are saying. My Dad has been in the hospital for 7 weeks and for a while he didn''t even know who I was. The agony of that is unimaginable to anyone who hasn''t gone through it

As one who is old, yes it''s not all roses....Great view from up here on the age-built hill...drat! can see all the trenches I''ve dug that younger folk now stumble into....

Getting old CAN suck... or it can be different - it can be joyous and wonderful. Sometimes I wonder if it doesn''t depend on one''s attitude.

For eight years I had my own eco-friendly home cleaning business, and more than 50% of my clients were seniors, most of them over 80. I saw the entire spectrum: people who''d aged well, and were still living vibrant, enjoyable lives, and others who were suffering from multiple health issues, discouraged and depressed about life.

The ones who were upbeat still had health issues; they simply didn''t let those "problems" take over their lives. All of them (healthy or not) talked quite frankly to me about their feelings surrounding aging, and they all admitted that there were things they wished they didn''t have to go through, like the degeneration of their bodies... but I was inspired by the ones who refused to be discouraged by the circumstances of their lives, and continued to believe that they had a lot left to enjoy while on this planet...

Seeing people we love become more ill is very hard, regardless of age. I see it every day in my job. I work in a chronic care hospital, full of people who lost out on the health lottery, and they range in age from 18 to 98.

I agree with the last post that while falling ill with chronic, incurable diseases often causes people to lose hope, in the end it's all in how it is dealt with. I see people who have multiple different diseases, and do nothing but sit alone in their room, waiting for the end to come. And on the flipside I see people who have even more health problems than the first person, but they are participating in group activities and laughing every day.

No matter how ill I get as I get older, I hope that I can keep the same attitude as those people who never stop enjoying life, no matter now many illnesses it throws at them,

and the alternative is... I'm not sure I want to rush to the end - I don't want to miss what tomorrow will gift me with... so yeah, getting old sucks but get down on creaking knees each morning and say thanx for a great life and at least one more day...

I would not mind living to be very old, as long as I am healthy and am able to do a lot of productive things. I would hate to live to be an old man, if I am going to be in pain and am not going to be able to do things to help improve the world. I've watched older people who were in pretty good health and generally enjoyed life. That is what I am hoping my senior years will be like. But I've also seen people who were very sick and in a lot of pain. My heart goes out to them.

Gary

Surely you are aware that almost everyone resents growing old and dying. In fact, many fear the prospect. In his book How We Die, medical doctor Sherwin B. Nuland wrote: "None of us seems psychologically able to cope with the thought of our own state of death, with the idea of a permanent unconsciousness in which there is neither void nor vacuum"”in which there is simply nothing." Do you know anyone who wants to grow old, get sick, and die?

Yet, if old age and death were natural and part of some master plan, wouldn't we welcome them? But we don't. Why not? The answer is found in the way we were made. The Bible says: "[God] has even put eternity into [our] minds." (Ecclesiastes 3:11, Byington)

According to the Bible, man was created perfect, with the prospect of living forever. This was held before him as a reward for passing a simple test of obedience. Our first parents were commanded not to eat the fruit of a certain tree called "the tree of the knowledge of good and bad." The tree served as a loving reminder to them of God's invisible presence and of his authority to determine what is good and what is bad for his creatures. Jehovah God clearly warned them: "In the day you eat from it you will positively die.""”Genesis 2:16, 17; 3:3.

Sadly, the first man and woman rebelled and ate the forbidden fruit. Being a God of truth, their Creator was impelled to keep his word, and thus he sentenced them to death. The Bible does not contain the biologic details of how God did this. What we do know, however, is that Adam and Eve passed on their sinful state to their offspring. As the Bible explains: "Through one man sin entered into the world and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men because they had all sinned.""”Romans 5:12.

This is a judgment that no human scientist can reverse. But Jehovah God, the Maker of the human body, knows how to do it. Lovingly, he provided his Son, Jesus Christ, to ransom the offspring of Adam and Eve. All who show appreciation for this provision will eventually be freed from aging and death."”John 3:16.

I agree that getting older sucks, but it;s better than the alternative!

Getting old socks was always a waste of time for me. There were usually quite threadbare, holes in the toes and discoloured.
Kind of the way I am going these days myself. (Mid-50s)
And as age creeps up on me 'd like to turn around on it and say begone or laugh in the face of death and say Bugger off or, Get a life! The second one usually works and if I don't read my name in the obituaries the next morning I know I made my point.
But somewhere down the trail, when the humour subsides I'd like to take on death the way the old indians did. They kind of just took a long walk in the snow, even befoe Trudeau thought of it, and walked until they were greeted by death along the way who then pointed the way to life once again.

Getting old? Tell me about it. Good job I gave you free healthcare.

i watched both my grandmothers die, and it was terrible. like someone said, this woman who used to have the worlds biggest garden was suddenly unable to go to the bathroom by herself. it totally broke my heart.

Whenever I start thinking about my age (pushing 60) I gance at a little stone plaque I was given when I retired. It says:

"The quality of life is not measured by it's length, but by it's depth". Helps me keep things in perspective

I am middle aged and every morning I wake up with more aches and pains and weirdness in my physical body. I am not enjoying this. I talk to my Dad and He just says get used to the territory. He is wise. I am really regretting somedays the things I did not do for myself and for God when I was younger and more enthusiastic and energetic. I do not always have these things now especially the physically energy. I still have the motivation and the enthusiasm but the body is not always willing and able. I dont like seeing my parents getting older either. It is pretty difficult. So I try to spend more time with them enjoying the memories. One good thing is that I can be a positive role model to younger ones and have faith that they will grow in these positive ways as they find their paths and mature. I always have hope for the continuation of future generations.

Wisdom and maturity usually comes with age.

Sorry... I LOVE getting older: all sorts of pressures are off or at least easing up; I know far better than I did when I was young who I am, what I value, the meaning of love, how to appreciate things more richly, see things more deeply and enjoy things more throproughly. I am more discerning, less judgemental, more patient and kinder. I was pain in the butt when I was young!
The body packs up, but my dad had a book launch on his 95th birthday just a month before the weariness of old age took him. He was busking and learning new tunes until six months before - for the fun of meeting people.I know it's not that nice for some - my mother died by Alzheimers, But there's still the years before the collapse. It's going to come, so why worry about it. And day by day, for me, gets more satisfying. I'm 60, still working daily (for not much money), doing work I love without needing to career-path anything, worry about impressing anyone or asking for raises. I'm out of the poltical-power loop and it's great. I'm busting to get onto the things I want to do when I retire and am postponing it only because I'm having so much fun.
Keep your youth cults and body image problems, fashion anxiety, fad diets, fears and the rush to be somewhere other than where you are. Nostalgia? Are you kidding!

God - thanks for the healthcare. I moved here from the US, and let me tell you, I appreciate it!

I once heard of a lady in her 90s who, when asked by a reporter if she would like to go back to a younger age, replied that somewhere around 70 would be nice. When the reporter expressed surprise that she would not want to be in her 20s or 30s, the lady replied that when she was that young she didn't have grandchildren!

Yeah, getting old can suck. I see plenty of people who are just breaking down, physically and mentally.

On the other hand, I am 60 and looking forward to each new year (so far). Fortunate to have exceptionally good health (I do work hard at it, plus being blessed with good genes). I started on a totally new career a couple of years ago, play in three jazz bands, play golf (badly) and curl (not so great at that, either). Married to a lovely woman who helps keep me upbeat.

I would not go back in time for anything. Sure, the new aches and pains are an annoyance. I don't have the physical endurance to play 36 holes of golf in a day like I used to. But there are compensations. I was much stupider earlier on than I am now. I'm taking up a new style of jazz guitar. New adventures await!

Of course, all that could change in a flash. That's why I'm determined to make the most of what I have left, whatever that is. One thing for sure, the idea of dying does not bother me. The idea of missing out on things that I could be doing and learning does, a little bit, but it's been a pretty good ride so far.

Dying per se really does not bother me (except that I would miss out on a lot of neat stuff). Dying a long, drawn-out, painful death certainly would. At the very least, I want to make sure that I spend my remaining healthy days in a worthwhile fashion. Not to rack up points in Heaven (which I don't believe in, anyway) but just because it seems like the right thing to do.

Yeah, getting old sucks--what's really surprising to me is that 60 isn't very old! Many, when I was a kid I thought somebody who was 60 was nearly done for. My grandmother lived well until 102, then was pretty much in a fog after that, died three days after her 105th birthday. She was in better shape than my Mom, 20 years her junior! My Dad? For his 90th birthday we gave him a new bicycle. Shiny red Schwinn with whitewall tires. He was as delighted as any kid.
Anyway, getting old really sucks if your health fails, so look after yourself! I'm hoping when it's my turn to ride off into the sunset, we'll have figured out a moral/ethical way to just say goodbye and leave. I've seen far too many beloved old dears struggle and struggle to die, and it just isn't right. I should read that other thread about keeping people alive too long. I think we do. Really. I'd far rather just go, than be held on to and kept alive for nothing.
In the meantime, Plan A is to live here in my own house until I'm 99 like Grandma did, and garden, and ride my bike when I'm 90, like Dad...how's that for a plan. Take the vitamins, and the calcium, and eat the veggies, and give God thanks for every day and every moment. Merry Christmas, all.

Almost 18 months ago my aunt was told she needed to be placed in a hospice situation because of her illness - so it was set up in her home at her request and the vigil began. Before she retired she had run a very successful business so she has a nice nest egg to retire on.

Every time the phone rang I was worried that it would be the call I didn't want to get

Well time has marched on and she is still with us - the doctors called this one incorrectly

Now her money has been eaten up by this round the clock care and she has moved in with a friend

I am sure that she feels getting old sucks - she called me the other day to wish me a Merry Christmas - told me she was making her Christmas calls early just in case she wasn't up to it on Dec. 25

She lives in the States and I here in Canada - fortunately she has a good friend to live with now - but I am also sure that losing one's independence call be a shock

Getting old sucks?? What age do you consider old??

Oh, about 90 or so.

Yup-I think I can relate. My Father has been ill with mental illness and dementia for the last 15 years. Since July he has been in the hospital-he was deemed palliative two weeks ago. It sucks and it sucks hard-my poor Mother is being innondated (sp) with bills from the hospital even though we live in Canada. I hate to be harsh but I really wish he could just pass away. It has been so long-it makes you wonder what the whole point is.
My prayers are with you
take care.
B

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my Grandfather.
Not screaming and wailing, like the passengers in the car he was driving.

If I were you I would rethink that golf and palm trees ambition for your old age. Just how much golf can you play before your brain goes to mush or your bank account goes to zero. Do you intend to fritter away all thae knowledge and life experience and wisdom you have accumulated in the preceding years by retreating to a golf course or a beach ... to do what?

There are two things I consider when I begin to worry about aging. One is, that my mother, deep into dementia, taught me all sorts of important things right up until she died at 96 (I was 66 at the time). One set of things she taught me was how to live in peace when someone you love profoundly slips into dementia. Some days my partner shows what appear to me to be early stage dementia symptoms and I am so greatful for the time I had with my Mom. She taught me well ~ as she did with all sorts of life lessons.
The other thing I think about is an old Christian idea of offering our suffering up to God. Not that God wants our suffering but that God should be part of our lives in good times and difficult ones as well. Sometimes I actually think I am practicing for a later time in my life when I will need to have this so deeply imbedded in my mind that nothing can dislodge it.
My grandson, at age five and after seeing The Lion King for the first time, uttered one of those profound ideas that only the young are capable of. There was a general discussion about the death of someone known to the family and Jack said, "It's the circle of life, right Grandma?" He is now 15 and I have thought of his statement countless times when confronted with the unknown and mysterious. If we open ourselves to truth and peace we can find them in the most difficult places.

I get 3 things tangled when this topic comes up--getting old, getting sick and dying. I try to keep them separate because I have found that I react to them differently, whether it concerns a family member or myself. Lumping them together is emotionally confusing and makes it difficult to understand what everyone is going through at the time.

It's fascinating to read through this thread. The "young" people who write (usually 45 or so) are fussing about THEIR difficulty in dealing with someone's else's death - usually someone very old in their eyes, or very sick. The older folks who write - 60++ like me - talk about life and the living it for as long as ability makes it able.

Perhaps this thread is not about getting old, but about grief and self absorption. Loving someone and watching them sicken and die is very hard. Folks in that position need to learn about and then practice grieving along and with others. But jumping quickly to how hard it is for you when a loved one dies is, I fear, a kind of denial.

Grieve, then live. Of course you wil die, but you have much ahead of you, and if you sense any kind of urgent call, do it! And do it for as long as you can. That's called life, in my books! I'll be 73 in December, and I do what I'm good at and was called to do when I was 18. I don't do those things all the time, and I find it harder to climb stairs than I used to, and I need a nap or a walk now and then, but I still have a personality, some wisdom, and some pastoral ability. I'm much more courageous than I ever was when younger, and I laugh more. I also help sober congregations to see the humour God gives, and communicates through Jesus and our faith documents.

Of course I'll die - sooner than lots of you - but I feel I'll have lived. Beyond that, I leave to God. I hope my kids mourn me, and love me, but I also hope they get back to living.

When you are watching an old loved one die, ask them about their life, if they can talk. Tell them stories about your life. None of us old crocks can resist that. We always say, "When I was young"¦"¦" And off you go.

Sorry this got so long, but you know how crocks do go on"¦

But hey, that's just me!

I here you! My grandmother, who is almost 88, took a turn for the worse several years ago. She was one who you could never get a hold of because she was so active in her community. Now she resides with my aunt in the States, so we don't get to visit her very often, but it is difficult to talk with her since her life is so different. Cherish those memories, sometimes it is all we have left.

Don't think of death as an end, think of it as a new beginning.