It's been a hard go for you and your family and I'm sorry that you and your family have had to endure. Congratulation on the large award - I hope it doesn't go to the Supreme Court. I know it's been hard but it's been something you've taken on for yourselves and for other families in the future.

It's good for you to know that your son will have what he needs in terms of care and equipment. If you are thinking that the amount if more than is needed, would starting a fund that could help other families be something that could result? Just an idea...

Breath...relax...breath...

May the unneeded extra stress of all of this be gone forever. 

Congratulations Daisy - it is good to know that you will be able to give Matthew the best of care. 

I am not sure what kind of rules and regulations there will be around this money, but I like Mo5's idea about setting up a fund to help other families with any excess dollars.

SpecialMom(you will always be to me).  This is uncanny. I was just thinking about Matthew at supper time and was wondering how he was doing and how you had finally made out. Congratulations.I know it has been hell but I know you will be relieved at the final outcome. Could you tell us a little more about how matthew and the rest of the family is doing?

Matthew is quite blessed to be in such a loving family that would go to such lengths for him :3

Given the amount of care for specialson, and adjustments, my sense is the amount was awarded as truly that is the cost of specialson's treatment.

To those  who don't have full time staff, special adaptations, etc, I am sure it seems like a lot, but when you consider the cost of an elevator for example, or a home which can accomodate all of his special needs, care , etc......well I am thankful that the family of specialson will be able to now be...with less worry of future care for their son.

*** note:  I edited the post, as I said without the worry, and as soon as i posted, I realized how bloody wrong that was.  DaisyJane and families frequent trips to ER, worries about health, worry about pain management, worries about.....so very much...mean that...there will always be significantly more strain than any human should have to bear.

** edit 2....It's about time.  That a child damaged so severely by doctor error could have to wait sooo long for payment.  It is wrong....

DaisyJane, congratulations doesn't seem like the fitting word to me.  If it is to you, then congratulations!  I am glad you were awarded the funds so that your son will be taken care of.  I am sorry that you had to fight to get it, but at least something positive did come out of the fight and all the stress that goes along with that.  Thank you for sharing the positive outcome.

Congratulations. This great news. it is good that you won, and it is good that you kept on fighting and will give confidence to others who are doing the same kinds of battles, and those who will need to do so in the future. I am sure there must have been times when fighting a long battle made it seem futile. 

Thank you for doing so for those many who have to fight for justice in a syetm that makes it difficult for ordinary people.

.... a bittersweet victory for sure DaiseyJane....

How I wish that you had never had to go through all of this....

The money is necessary for care ...and that I understand .... but somehow seems like such a cheap and crass measure of the devastion.....

I hope at least that it helpes provide some improvement to quality of life although I know that in a heartbeat that if you could ... you would rather have things back the way they were...

Oh so gentle hugs.....

Rita

As Rita says, a bittersweet victory for sure DaisyJane.

I'm sorry you had to go through all these soul destroying moments in court -  but pleased that you had the resilience and strength to fight (and win) for your son.....

Hi DaisyJane,

The best thing about good news is that it feels just as good when you hear it again.

Congratulations again!

Grace and peace to you.

John

This news made me cry.  I think most people are unaware that our justice system can be so easily twisted and the horror families are put through in these situations.  Of course people give up and you can't fault them....but I'm so proud of you and yours for hanging on even when you were surely empty of strength. 

That one little shred that you pulled up from your core, that  "soul-sucking" one....that was your true beauty and don't believe for a moment that it has left you.  It shines loud and clear and true.

I am happy for you and your son and the rest of the family that a just decision was made.  It seems all too often that the courts and lawyers protect the guilty while the innocent suffer. 

No one takes into account, seemingly, the toll on those who are wronged.  I hope the fight is indeed over and your family can now focus on family things.

As for the amount of the award, as others have stated, I expect the costs involved in making your son's life comfortable and meaningful dictated the amount. 

All the best to Matthew, and your family as you move forward.

Thank you for letting us know. I had wonderedwhere this stood.

I expect the judgement not only goes to pay for all the costs of Matthew, especially after you are no longer to care for him at home, but is also a warning to other docs delivering babies that the standard of care needs at all times to be upheld.

I know that no doc deliberately let's down his guard And I am fuzzy on the specifics of what happened but those who deliver babies will know and will hopefully pay attention so no other family goes through this solely because of physician error.

I expect your hubby, who I seem to remember is a lawyer, will be setting up a trust to care for Matthew and will have contingencies for any money left over.

Congratulations for having the courage to fight this fight and go through the hell of testifying

I can't imagine having the pain of that event dredged up constantly during a long legal battle. "Congratulations" isn't the right word, but I'm sure we all hope the legal wranglings are over, and you can turn your attentions back to Matthew's care and away from lawyers from this point forward.

DaisyJane, it reminds me of how much money it costs to provide excellent care.

I think of people like RevMatt's daughter and Chansen's son...neither of which are due to receive settlements but have varying degrees of extra needs which will be facing them in the years to come..  (along with other friends who have additional requirements for their children)

As you said, there are many who will not get funded...and yet the requirement for funding is there.

it helps to talk the question...how are we a just society....how do we care for the least of these and their families.

Daisy jane

I'm glad this is settled for you. The process is over.

And despite the toll it took on your family you are still together as a family.

Thanks for letting us know the outcome!

DaisyJane, I am truly thankful to hear that this is finally settled.  I've followed your story and that of Matthew since the beginning of the WonderCafe.  I've admired your courage and your determination to do what is best for Matthew and for your family.  I know that when one member of a family suffers, all suffers.

I've missed how Rev.Matt and his family are doing since he dropped out of the Cafe.  I'd love to see him back with his fighting spirit.  No one should have to worry about how they are going to provide for their children.  We live in a wealthy country (perhaps not as wealthy as we would like to think) and I can think of no better way to spend our wealth than to provide the basics of life and happiness to our children.  If that includes round-the-clock care, special adaptations to houses and vehicles, special foods, medications, therepy, education - so be it.  I'm sure you, nor Rev.Matt, nor Chansen would wish the suffering and heartbreak of a severely compromised child in exchange for the money, which will be used to care for him or her.  

I'm glad its settled.   Breath easy.

ps - I hope that insurance company had to bear the full financial expenses involved in appealing this case.

I am so glad that you can finally (hopefully) close this chapter in your life. Reading about your experience has left me with much admiration for you.

I'm hoping there's enough money to spare that you can use some to have a great family holiday together. Everyone in your family deserves it!

I'm so pleased that you can leave the world of courts, litigation and argumentative lawyers behind you now.  I wish you a measure of comfort as you continue to provide the loving care your family need.  May this monetary provision lift some of the burden of that care.

DaisyJane, thank you for sharing this part of your, and Matthew's, story.  The part that gives hope that Matthew's care in daily living will now be secured.  The part that gives a sense that justice has prevailed.  The part that gives conclusion to a long battle and struggle.

Pinga recently posted a topic "I wish . . . "  I wish, for you and for Matthew, that this settlement and fight was not needed in the first place, and Matthew's birth circumstances never happened.  Very unfortunately it has, and hence it is good news that Matthew has been awarded what will hopefully ensure his much needed care for his lifetime.  For this I rejoice with you and yours.

I hope there is a part in your heart and spirit (and Mr. DaisyJane's) that holds peace.

Amen, Beloved.  

Daisy,

I know that you and your husband have a lot of resources that made this win possible; i.e. your husband's profession and the ability to cut costs on your side as well as supply them when needed; and

I can appreciate that you might harbour some guilt about that or at least some emotions that are confusing, but/and I was wondering if you felt able, with the help of some others to begin a foundation whereby medical malpractice suits similar to yours could be presented?  It is a big thing, of course and I do appreciate the huge responsibilities that you have as a mom and the warps and weaves that Specialson makes on your life as a woman, wife, mom.  Also, I know that litigation is exhausting, also soul killing but maybe also an adrenalin rush and maybe even addicting; and not always in a bad way so that;

( I am not trying to be a knowitall with regard to how you handle the stress and tension and also the sweetness which can also be negative not always positive anyway, of being mom to Specialson.  Please understand that I am someone who has had to live with a lot of shame and persecution for being me, and am at this point in my life too cynical and enraged to be able to handle any more humiliation for being incapable, too poor, and simply not good enough to "come back" "perfect " and instead -  rather -  have recently ( at age 51) been  diagnosed with AD/HD which makes me finally aware why I have been unable to do much about my inability to get over or around my poverty and lifelong  career paralysis despite haveing healed entirely from drug-induced (self-medicating) psychosis and ptsd.  Depression and suicidal thoughts aside as to the lateness of this diagnosis, I have lived; thus, my whole adult life on the sidelines.  As such,  I have been handed the role of perciever - which fortunately, at least I have a vocabulary for, and having that it seems to me that here is the something that I am trying to get at which is);

 WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY,  Daisy, is that I know you to be a AAA pesonality and might enjoy the challenge in investing yourself in the psychology and legal persuit of a  justice issue such as you have been through - here echoing SomegalfromCan and Mo5. 

I DO UNDERSTAND ALSO, that one would not want to become an amublance chaser out of this and that the morality can be a bit sketchy in some conditions.

What were the Judge's reasons for the decision?

umm, jiln....

This isn't like someone winning a lottery ticket.

This is a cost-based judgement....which have a significant portion as an annuity to ensure Matthew is cared for the rest of is life.  Sadly that life is likely to be one hell of a lot shorter than it should be and require 24x7 care.

You know, i'm starting to feel badly about some of the posts here, and then I think what might have happened in real life.

dang, specialmom, sorry for when I have and do say stupid things.....as I am sure that I have and will do again.

Don't feel bad.  I appreciate all your concern and support.  It's all good.

Yes, the award is sort of a confusing thing to talk about and explain.  My feelings of ambivalence are strong. 

I am off and running right now but will try to post more tonight re: the whole thing.

DiasyJane read "congratulations", because I intended it. I do praise, approve and commend the decision of the courts.

I took special care that I did not say that word "congratualtions" because it might sound like a "yippee" and there was none in this case. There was negligence and a child received a severe brain injury as a result of that negligence. A family was put through a nightmare and the nightmare has been ongoing. It is cold sweats and fear, panic and worry... the day to day events and care would strike panic in most of us. Unless we know the drill of feeding tubes and aspiration we have no idea. The cries we do not know the cause of and can only torment ourselves wondering if it is pain... are something many felt during a short time of parenthood, It was not however a constant... I did not have a "yippee" to give. I did not want anyone to think I did. Nobody would want one if their loved one was killed, injured, disabled...
 

"Congratulations" could make it sound like I perceived the court decision as a lottery win. I don't. It said there was a financial obligation for care, maybe pain, suffering... that is no lottery win. The cost is more than diapers and feeding tube supplies. It is more than nursing care and other helpers. The cost is what we cannot fathom if we do not have experience with long-term care of this sort. I have no idea how many stoma sites there have been? I do not know the types he has had. I however do know the worry of monitoring one. I know the life span is about 6 months. I remember- is this site infected? Leakage. Pulling out. Pressure necrosis....There there is the healed and settled in tube. Is it clogged? Cleanings. The balance of calories, protein, and fluids....But there is more.... there can be cramping, distention, so much....But there is more... The bloating when you need decompressed, usually done by opening the system and coughing, but he cannot cough on command. Still, there is more....Did that person wash their hands?

It is more than the feedings. He cannot get a cold like other kids. Is this the time aspiration or a sniffle becomes pneumonia? Will he live? Will he die? What decisions might we have to make? How much pain does he feel?

There is just the matter of moving someone. There is how big can he get and me move him? Then what?

There are his brothers, his parents... his extended family.....

I know a woman hobbling in need of surgery, but her recovery time means she has nobody to care for her special needs adult son.

So, I wonder what has this family has went through, not done, endured, suffered....because of a doctor's negligence that resulted in Matthew's injury

If you offered me 9 million to do this to my wife, and thus me,  I would tell you things I cannot type here. If my wife and I were in that position, through no fault of our own, and anyone suggested what I might do with the money, I would say things I cannot repeat. This is not a windfall.

So, what I basically said was -

"My wife was reading the paper at work....she was staring at the news that the appeals court held up the case. I know it does not change much but I am glad that for you and yours it is over, hoping that the absence of that focus does not leave a void. I know how we can occupy ourselves."

Yes, "congratulations" on the system doing what it is supposed to do for its citizens. I applaude it....

Yet, that word seemed, to me, so out of place...

I am glad that Matthew will get the care he should have never needed.

Daisy Jane

I'm not on the net so much anymore. I pop in to read on the WC every so often.

I do want to acknowledge yourself , special son, and your whole family as being more than deserving of every penny you hope to receive. I don't believe you should feel badly about it. I can't express my thoughts the way I might wish to at the moment except to say I remember your  beautiful  heart, soul, mind and body writings over the past years. You are first class! I've learned so much from you and you have coped so wonderfully well.  Thanks for being here.

((((((((((((specialson )))))))))))))))

jlin

I'm a bit intimidated about posting not being sure what is or isn't appropriate to post.I wasn't at all familiar with hospital lawsuits so of course I relied on my old friend Google.

Here is a link from a law firm in  N.S.  Perhaps it can be of interest to yourself or others. I haven't researched regarding the truth of the  statistics  or the  knowledge presented.

http://www.lawyersource.ca/articles/civil_lawyers/medical_malpractice_la...

DaisyJane, No one should ever have to go through what you have …. from the birth experience, the reality and significant impact of a physician’s negligence and never hearing ‘I’m sorry, I made a mistake’, and your constant care and worry for Matthew. What you experienced during the court proceedings also sounded appalling reading your stories on wondercafe these past few years. I am glad to know that the Ontario Court of Appeal upheld the original decision. I hope that you and your family are able to be at peace with this part of your journey.

Pinga,

uhhhhmmm, yes, and very unfortunately so, the award is like a lottery ticket.  This is the what DJ is a little distraught about.

What? no, it isn't like one. the exact opposite.

jlin, I agree with Pinga on this.

Years ago, I was in a (fairly minor) car accident.  I was provided with some money to treat my injuries.  Even with minor injuries, that money did not cover everything for my treatment, let alone things like lost wages.

I can't even compare that car accident to what SpecialSon, DaisyJane and the family has gone through.  No monetary amount can compensate for what happened.  The money can help pay for all the extra costs.  It's nothing like a lottery, other than the procedings being a gamble as to whether the time, effort, stress and legal fees would end up paying out anything in the end.

Hi jlin,

Respectfully I don't know how you can arrive at that conclusion.

The details of the award (ie.  lump sum payment or by installments) have not been revealed in the press or by DaisyJane.

Since the award is for the ongoing care of DaisyJane's boy there is every possibility that the money will be placed in a trust to safeguard against it not being spent on medical upkeep.

Lottery tickets whether they pay out in a lump sum or by installments go directly to the winning party with no conditions on how that money may be spent.

Grace and peace to you.

John

I think you are correct Rev, John,

When my daughter filed a suit for being hit by the car-on her bike-She was 15. I was told as"friend of the minor" or some such term-that the money would be held in trust for her. The trustee would approve reasonable expenses.

The award came this fall and she is 19 now-so it came to her no strings attached. it will pay for 4 years of schooling.

In the case of an award to a minor, like Matthew, the award is managed largely via an annuity.  For the most part, as Matthew's primary caregivers, we are allowed to manage the money as we see fit (staff, drugs, feeding supplies, equipment, etc).  However, all uses of the money are audited regularly by the Children's Lawyer and with any inappropriate use of the money the assets are seized and someone else would manage Matthew's money.  

Just to note, Matthew's award is not sufficient to cover 24 hour nursing care for the rest of his life.  The judge stated that I was responsible for six hours a day of Matthew's care for life.  This is actually precedent setting since any parental care after the age of 21 was considered burdensome and inappropriate.  We were urged to appeal the decision since it has significiant ramifications for all future parents.  We are tired and declined.

We received an email from our lawyers today stating that the CMPA is still exploring the possibility of taking this to the Supreme Court of Canada.  It would be a delay tactic only since the SCC would refuse the case. This is not nationally relevant.  It sucks. 

Since physician's malpractice fees are primarily paid by OHIP funds, this is your tax dollars at work.....funding CMPA lawyers to drag malpractice suits on for over a decade.

Daisyjane, I hadn't realized the impact of the 6hrs, and of course, that does not make sense past 21.  .  I can understand why they asked you to appeal.  I can also understand why you declined.

I am sorry that once again you got hit with a letter and delay.  I find it appalling.

I can see why the award has you doing care for six hours a day but I am surprised that there isnt an age cap. Not for Matthew' he will always be your child, but for you.

Sounds like the judgement figures at 60 or 75 you won't have difficulty lifting and caring for a grown man.

Perhaps they could get some little old ladies at the supreme court to lift a few 200 pound men out of bed as a demonstration

Does this mean that you do not receive any of the settlement for your sons's care until the final appeal has been settled!!!   Or did the payments start at the end of the first trial, or now after the first appeal?   It seems to me that you need the money NOW.  That from the time of the unfortunate circumstances of his birth your family have suffered exorbitant expenses for his care. 

Also, is the total amount of the settlement based on his living a normal life-span (the rest of his natual life) but will stop in the event of his premature death?   In that case it will most likely be a lot less than it appears if you received a guaranteed lump sum. 

And the idea that the parents are responsible for their child's care even into adulthood is ridiculous.  Some severely handicapped people are now living far beyond what was ever expected (I know a profoundly effected woman with genetic defects who was predicted to die in infancy, then before the age of eight, who is now 30).  I can imagine a feeble couple in their 80s, ready for a special care home themselves, still caring for their 60 year old 'child'.   Ridiculous!

Legally I was no longer financially responsible for my children once they hit 19.  You should be too.

Again off and running and will post more later today.

But to answer a few questions.  

Yes, the annuity ends when Matthew dies.  The large award is not cash, per se, but rather money to establish an annuity to ensure his care, hence the high number since the annuity is large.

As a rule parents are not responsible for care after the age of 21.  The general theory is that children are independent at that age and to make a parent responsible for care after that time is a result of the disabilities that are a result of a physician's action or lack thereof...and thus burdensome and linked to the malpractice.  We are the first where parents have been required to perform care after 21.  There was no upper limit other than Matthew's life expectancy.

Matthew "won" an award as of 2008.  He has not received any money to date and if there is an appeal then I believe all payment is deferred until resolution of any further legal issues.  Why else would they be dragging a multi-million dollar award on this long.  One theory is that they are hoping Matthew might die and thus no Matthew, no need to use millions of dollars to fund an annuity.

As I type this I am amazed at how I can "turn off" when I talk about these things.  I honestly stop feeling anything when I discuss this.  The alternative is that I would just fall apart or explode with rage.  Funny how coping strategies kick in.

Seeler  & Lastpointe: You made me smile.  It is unjust to expect care.  It is even more unjust if you have an idea of the sizes of the people involved.  DaisyJane is very fit, and I am sure it is in part as she needs to be.  She is a logical person who can see what is required.  I hope she doesn't mind me saying that she is not that tall nor heavy and SpecialSon takes after her husband.  A tall man.  Of course there are assists, but still..

Ok, so I retract being anywhere close to congratulating the courts for working. I understand you and your family are tired and not up for more.

Yet, now my perspective is -This decision sucks!

A parent devoting 6 hours to wake a kid up, feed them, get them to brush their teeth, get them dressed, pack their lunch, get them to school, pick them up from daycare, make dinner, help with homework, give them a bath, read a story... is FAR different than devoting 6 hours to feeding tubes, heavy lifting, bathing, diapers...medical care you should never have needed to learn.

What of a parent with lupus, fibro, MS... how do they manage? What of a parent without the ability to learn complicated medical stuff or to lift?

When the parent no longer can, and it DOES happen just from age or level of care, they are docked 6 hours of care time?

It is not equality. No person is responsible financially for their children or responsible for their care after they are adults. Why are parents of some?

The system is often that decisons are long coming and they appeal.... people are worn down, battered, broken, financially ruined... and the insurance companies have deep pockets and all the time in the world. They prep people to take shitty settlements and eventually be tired...

I am glad it is closer to being over after a decade and I do understand you are tired.

I understand that you are tired, as well, and want this to be over.  I support that unconditionally, but I still have to say that the decision for continuing 6 hour care does not make sense to me.

It has been determined that doctor negligence created the situation requiring lifetime care.  I'd understand the ruling better if the doctor and his family were required to contribute 6 hours/day for Matthew's lifetime. 

I'm glad you're able to detach, DaisyJane, when you need to talk "business"...it's healthy and it's the only way you could effectively fight for Matthew.

DaisyJane,

I am shocked.  I doubted the award included everything, and certain aspects would have been undervalued, but I thought the money would include such things as:

• Matthew's care and everything that goes along with it.  Nursing, supplies, renovations to a house, etc.  Both for the future and what has been spent previously.
• Matthew's suffering
• Lost wages for Matthew
• If care on your part was to be included, loss of wages for you (perhaps minus typical daycare costs, until age 12 or whatever age children stop using daycare).  That expectation should have also ended at the age of 18.

I'm sorry the judgement doesn't even come close to covering the above.

It's also unfortunate the health care isn't completely free.  That's a separate issue of course, but families such as yours shouldn't experience hardship to care for a child, regardless of what caused the disability.

No money at all until the appeals are met!!!!!    And how in the meantime is a family expected to provide housing, especially equipped vehicle, special food, care, etc etc etc for the child in the here and now?   How many things might he have to forego that would make his life easier, more comfortable, perhaps even bring a bit of joy.  How much will his brothers have to give up because all the family resources have to go to the handicapped child?

(I am speaking generally here.  Some families, like yours, might have the financial resources to manage, although they shouldn't have to pay for someone else's carelessness.  Many families would find this a real hardship - they might lose their home, their other children might not be able to pursue sports or other interests, there would be no family vacations, no extras, and no plans for the future.)

It stinks!  

I hope that you will at least get back pay for all the years its dragged out.

So, what I was referring to with regard to a lottery ticket is that so many people are ruled against - unjustly - that actually winning a just reward is somewhat like a lottery.

this is Canada's legal system, unfortuantely and as real as it is difficult for Daisy Jane to actually collect her award.  

I am so sorry to hear that the delay tactic is being abused.  Law  can be such a cruel game and it makes creepy people out of some very good hearts.  I have experienced that first hand; in fact was just fired from a legal office where that was the case; at any rate - Daisy Jane - consider it a gift to be able to turn off as you write. 

Perhaps, you are still running or invested in some very intense form of exercise that is your due!!!!

I have undergone so much stuff after losing this job and then finding out I have AD/HD that I am truely grateful that I am living in BC where cycling is a major and intense proposition.  When totally overwhelmed by my uselessness to society at 50 et al I am totally o.k. when I am working my heart rate near and around  144 - 180 for prolonged periods of time - up to three hours a day.

 Hugs Daisy Jane.  Get a massage, get a spa treatment and kick the crap out of your body for a few hours - 'kay?

Sorry Jlin, I hope you see where we were coming from after your short post and that once you realized my interpretation you didn't take the critcism personally.

jlin.

I really liked your idea of establishing a fund for other families.  Unfortunately I am not on the position to use the award in that way for two reasons....1) because it is Matthew's money not mine, must be used specifically for Matthew and is heavily scrutinized (as it should be) and 2) because it is not generally paid out in a lump amount of cash per se, but rather largely as an annuity.   It is something to think about though as there are other ways to establish these sorts of things.  

I am more interested in forming a task force to challenge the existing system of litigation which serves neither physicians nor families.  Insurance companies and lawyers benefit with the current, very litigious, system.  I think the system is broken and tort reform is necessary.  Unfortuately, the people with power and money are the lawyers and insurance companies and I am a small, powerless voice.

Back to the award, there is a capital amount to use for renovations etc.  and I am excited about putting an elevator in our house.  You also need to remember that having this award frees up money from our own household budget that has been used over the years for Matthew's care.  That monthly amount is a decent chunk of our household, monthly budget.  It will make a difference.

This money will go a long way in improving Matthew's quality of life and reducing my burden so I don't, in any way, want to suggest otherwise.  The six hour thing is unfortunate but still puts us in a more comfortable position than many families.

The ongoing stress of litigation has been brutal and, at times, divisive in a household where one partner works for a mega-law firm that provides legal counsel to the CMPA.

Hi Folks,

I can't help smiling and wearing MY OT hat sometimes. Part of my job has me supervising school assistants as they lift and care for disabled students. If a student is over about 45 lbs. we use a sling and a overhead lift. All our bathrooms have overhead tracking and we have  a couple of portable lifts.

So yes a wee older woman can lift a two hundred pound man-at the push of a button.

Our students also have these lifts at home as well. It really does save everyone's back.

Daisyjane-an elevator sounds lovely! What about a larger or jetted tub IF Matthew enjoys that?

DaisyJane;

I am happy and for you that this is over and that specialson will be cared for for his entire lifetime. 

True there are others who don't have the resources you did to fight.  But you have helped them as well because the doctors will more likely settle out of court now because they see that they can lose.

I know nothing can make up for what special son and your family lost with the doctors negligance.  Im sorry you had to go through hell to have justice for your son.  Its a serious shortcoming of this society to blame the victim rather than attempt to make things right.