I got tired of reading the article, but from what I read I agree.  I do think there's something to focusing on positive things, as well as dealing with negative emotions rather than just ignoring them.

I've never been to an event like what was described, but some of the things that we did in school were bad enough.  Cheesy and not much meaning behind them IMO.

I find that appreciating the positive things (not to say that you should never aknowledge the positives) doesn't make the negative ones go away. I think if we stopped trying to feign positivity and tackled the negative things- from my perspective, injustice- honestly and directly, (not simply politely, and not abusively either) on the whole people would be "happier". Not ecstatic, not rich, just happier. It's okay to be just okay- and it's okay to say something's not working, when it's not working. I'm much "happier" to come out and say straight up that I think something in the world (at large, and in my own smaller 'world') is really crappy- it's much more authentic "me"- than to pretend it's not. That's the advocate in me.

We shouldn't forget the folks who miss out on great chunks of "happy enough' life while waiting for the happiness of the weekend or their holiday or their new and  bigger house or car etc.

I'm reminded too of the much admired (by some) people who are praised for 'putting a brave face on' following a family death.  Some manage to smile their way into a total denial of their normal, natural and acceptable feelings. Then those feelings have the power to destroy their health and their hope of emotional well being.  

Sometimes life gives you lemons and it can be growth promoting to experience their sharp bitterness before making some lemonade!

My mom did a whole series of those self help motivational workshops in the 80's. Spent a lot of money on it. It should come as no surprise that we often get along like oil and water.

Going through that right now Kay, with my grandmother's passing. It's been a month. Feels like it shouldn't be mentioned anymore- because she was quite elderly and so it's expected, because it's 'natural' because there are things to do... Some in my family are all about the brave face. And I'm feeling angry, at the pull yourself up by the bootstraps, stop moping, and be happy people. Counter-intuitively, I find that positivity to be negative. Tends to spill over and cause me to be cynical about other things. But, oh well. Is what it is. Life is not always positive. That's what I mean...that's okay. It's not supposed to be positive when there are reasons for it not to be.

As for the lemonade. I agree. I'm okay with lemonade.

Just feeling altogether disgruntled today and that article was actually a boost. Whatever works, I guess. If it doesn't work for you, feel free to ignore.

Just now...from a faith point of view after thinking about another thread...thinking of what it means to have "hope" and to be "optimistic". Maybe partly why this article appealed to me. We use the two words interchangeably, but I think hope, in a faith sense is trust and acceptance that whatever will be will be okay- to want for the best and not expect what I want- but someday, it will be all well. Be okay with what you have- good or bad. Aim for better, not for yourself, but for others. Maybe not in my day, but someday. Stick with it. Optimism is more of an expectation that what I want will happen if I only want it badly enough and go for it. Too often, as the article suggests, what I cling to is optimism instead of having hope- it feels disingenuous or contrived, not 'me'- and it's true that it often backfires rather than happens- and as the article claims, we often are very hard on ourselves for that.

Positive thinking is not easy when one is in a foul mood, but creative thinking is always possible.

It think it is not so much negative thinking that does us in but ingrained or imitative thinking: thinking along the same old grooves. The way to get out of that is to think creatively.

I agree. Yesterday I was in a foul mood. This article, even it's counter-intuitive title, at least engaged my creativity. Waterbuoy's posts do the same. His aren't feel good positive- he doesn't mean them to be- but they're thought provoking and interesting.

I quit reading after a couple of pages.  I am glad the author questioned whether happiness should even be a goal.  I suspect there are different variations of positive thinking.  Life is irregularly cyclic with long and short good and bad times.  In the bad times, it is important, I believe, to embrace the pain and the fear, examine their source, and try to assess when that embrace is shifting from affirmation of loss to clinging to loss.  Then remind oneself that the bad time is probably temporary, look for the good that remains, and look for ways to move forward, often working on cosnstructing new normals for our lives.  In the good times, embrace them, enjoy them, and remember they are also probably temporary.

My moher-in-law died over 2 years ago, and I still have moments of sadness as we engage in events she would have been part of or enjoyed.  Savoury experiences can be as beautiful as sweet ones.

Yes, Jim. Agreed with everything.

Yes, happiness and sadness are both part of life. We can't always be happy. But I am content, even when unhappy.

Happiness is a sad song.

-Charlie Brown

I love blues music- the old Missippi Delta Blues. Any sad songs, meaningful songs. Joni Mitchell had lots of them. Leonard Cohen, Bruce Cockburn. I imagine I have a similar temperment to those people- although nowhere near as brilliant! Could recognize elements of my own self, in their music, even in interviews. Don't Worry Be Happy, is a fun song by Bobbi MCFarrin, but it doesn't help me when I'm sad- gets me singing along when I'm not sad, ironically! If someone played it when I was sad, I'd be tempted to tell them to take a hike.

Kimmio, you have me wondering whether the 23rd Psalm, The Lord Is My Shepherd, is an example of positive thinking.

Hi Naman,

Sorry, I neglected this thread. Psalm 23 isn't quite the same, I don't think. It's assuring. It's not suggesting there's a reward for positive thinking, but that trusting in God is it's own reward. I haven't memorized the psalms, but right before it is psalm 22, which speaks of God being with his people in difficult times. It doesn't indicate that there won't be difficult times if we think positively. To me, it says we need to go through whatever happens, trusting God.