My thoughts are with you LB.

LB, I have no words of comfort, just two arms to offer you a virtual hug. I am so sorry to hear of your loss and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars, 
The deeper the grief, the closer is God!” 
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

Oh LB I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  I will be thinking of you in the coming days and weeks.  Your wisdom and humour will help see you through this trial.  

Oh my!!!  Oh Lb!  My friend, so very sad to hear this.  

Oh, LB, prayers of love surrounding you.

LB, I am so very sad to hear this. My heart hurts for you. I am sending soft thoughts and gentle care during this very difficult time.

Pinga, thank you for creating this space.

LB, my deepest sympathies to you and your family in this difficult time of deep grief. May God comfort you now and always,.

Thinking of you, LBMuskoka, in the loss of your loved one.  With my deepest sympathy.

LBMuskoka, 

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. 

You know you are not alone, and may that bring you some comfort.

Muskoka - my thoughts and prayers are with you.

"Life is what happens when you're  making other plans."   - John Lennon

My dear friend, I'm painfully aware of this quote right now.

Here we were excitedly making plans about my Muskoka visit to experience the Fall and it's myriad of colours - when life steps in with one helluva boot.......

All I can say is that you have put my wish to see a North American Fall into perspective - I will be there for you as you were for me in my own grief. 

 This from a poet we both like, Emily Dickinson -

'If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain.

If I can ease one life the aching

or cool one pain,

or help one fainting robin

unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain."

And here's something you sent to me when Mrs. Danvers once paid me a call - you said it worked for you..........

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat, and I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have trouble with me.    - from Dr. Seuss

Penny, my thoughts are with you. 

oh LB I am so so sorry to hear this. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

We Only Wanted You

By Author Unknown

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
We never wanted memories,
We only wanted you.

LB - I'm so sorry that you have been too suddenly faced with such a great loss. Hope you are surrounded by the love and care of family & friends.
Hugs

"When Death Comes

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
 
to buy me, and snaps his purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;
 
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
 
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering;
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
 
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
 
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
 
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,
 
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
 
When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
 
When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.
 
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
 
~ Mary Oliver ~"
 
 
(New and Selected Poems, Volume I)
 
 
 
 
 

Very sorry to hear about this, LB.  Thoughts and prayers are with you.  May love surround you and peace be with you.

LB

I'm so sorry. It shouldn't  happen to anyone as beautiful as you. Holding you close in my heart and prayers as you walk this lowly valley.

In Memoriam

The photo album of my mind,

Holds treasured thoughts of you,

And I can almost see again

The things we used to do.

I hear your voice,

I see your smile,

I feel you close to me.

The photo album of my mind

Shows how we used to be.

Time may have changed us through the years,

But I will always find,

You're just as I remember in

The album of my mind.

And, as I turn page after page,

Such precious scenes I see,

The photo album of my mind

Is very dear to me.

It holds the pictures of our past,

Like reels of film unwind.

I cherish all those photos

in The album of my mind.

Jeanne Losey,Indiana

Abide with Me

LBMuskoka

I saw this quote and thought of you for I think you walk on in the days aheads.  

As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us.  As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us.  ~Sascha, as posted on motivateus.com

Hi LB:

My thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of grief. Don't think yourself too deeply into the abyss of despair but try to immerse yourself in the eternal light.

If seasons turn

as on a wheel,

then why not we?

Can death be real

I we're reborn

in every birth,

like rain returning

to the earth?

-from HALLELUJAH ANYWAY by Patrick Woodroffe

LB, I'm sorry to hear about your partner's death. Thinking of and and sending warm hugs your way.

I'm sorry about your husband's passing. I'm glad Pilgrim will be visiting you in person soon.

Wishing you memories of happy times and support of friends and family.

Ahhh....LB. I'm so sorry. We're all thinking of you.

My condolences to you and your family LB Muskoka.  I hope and pray in this season of grief, death and loss that you will be gently held and loved.

Grace, peace and strength to you in this time of trial.

John

Thank you everyone.  I couldn't read all the posts, the screen kept blurring for some strange reason (yes Qwerty my odd humour is still functionging) ... but I will read them.

This is such an amazing community of warmth and I hope you all understand that I do feel that warmth and draw strength from it.

I have always been better at dealing with grief through the written word than the spoken.  It is mediums like this that I work it through and eventually articulate, at least in my own mind, what I feel.

I haven't been on Wondercafe for a while, life intervenes.  Thanks to Innawhimsey actually, this year I took on a new project that combined my love of photography and quotes to the next level.  So I spent all my free time sewing and spending my Wednesday mornings at the Farmer's Market.  It was good.  It came at the perfect time in my life when I needed something to keep me busy.  It will be even more comforting now ... and yes Innawhimsey I still owe you but now it must be perfect.

My partner's death was unexpected.  Although he had been undergoing chemo treatments for Hodgkins, his cancer was mild and treatments were going very well until three weeks ago ... my it doesn't seem that long ago ... when he had an adverse reaction.  Up until then he was driving to the hospital 45 minutes away alone.  But, according to the doctor (who looked like he was 12 years old but then all doctors these days look that way to me), there is a drug in the chemo cocktail called bleomycin and this can attack the lungs.  It doesn't happen often but it happened this time.

Breathing became difficult but still all appeared well.  No concern by doctors, including the doctors who saw him just the day before he died .... even though they gave him oxygen.  No concern by the nurse who saw him just an hour before that morning.

No concern by me, who went off to work thinking I would return as quick as I could and we would spend a quiet evening together.  His last words to me as I left were "I love you.  Have fun today".

Those are the words that keep repeating in my head, over and over, in an endless loop.  Those and the words written by Joan Didion in a book called The Year of Magical Thinking.  I read that book last year, on the plane for our last trip to California.  At the time I thought it was such a great book to put in perspective the events of my life 24 years ago, when my first husband passed away suddenly.  Now I find it helps today ... it reminds me when I begin to think I am careless with the people that I love, that I am not, it is only that ....

'Life changes in the instant. The ordinary instant.'

If you would like to do anything for me today, tell the people you love that you love them.  Tell them to have fun today.  Tell them that every day.

Thank you,

Linda

I'm very sorry to hear this LBMuskoka. Thinking of you and hoping for peace and grace in this time. Blessings to you.

I am so saddened by your news LB - you must be feeling totally shattered,  I suspect.  I am heartened though by your writing and your artistic involvements.  Activities like these can help to lead you through this time.

I am holding  you close to my heart and sending a great big caring cyber hug.

LBMuskoka, just checking in this morning.....

thankful the morning message was "i love you".  thankful you knew that you were loved and so did he.

we are here, someone always up, someone always on, ready to sit and drink a tea.  the room is also open, for when you want the hubbub of life to take you away

for now, your friends care about you, they surround you in prayer, in thoughts, in memories and ther own stories. 

your week is busy, as you prep for saturday. people will be around, life will be on a timetable that isn't yours....know that we will still be here when the business ends and the time settles around you

LB thanks for the update. What a terrible loss for you and your family. Cancer is evil. I've always thought a quick death is good for the person with cancer. At the same time, it is devastating for those around him. I'm glad to hear that the words that roll around in your head are "I love you. Have fun today". What a lovely farewell. Still it is so very sad. Do take care.

LB – I am still here thinking of you so very much. I am so glad you made your way to this thread. Even in this time of shock, grief and pain your words are thoughtful, wise, and genuine. I have always admired your courage, strength and spirit, LB.  May these qualities carry you during this very difficult time - and to help with that load may you feel the support of others as you are held in care. (((((LB)))))

LB.  I am so sorry to hear this news.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. 

So sorry to hear about your loss, LBMuskoka. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

"I love you - have fun today" - what beautiful words to leave you with.

I pray that those words will give you courage and strength when you need it the most - and that they will be an everlasting reminder of how much your husband loved you.

Remember, like others have said, we will be here for you on the Wonder Cafe when the busy-ness of the week settles down and the reality of the situation has a chance to really settle in. 

I am reminded of all the wisdom offered by folks to me and others after I lost my Mom.  

funerals,deaths can bring out the worst in people and relationships.....Carolla had sent me wisdom which proved very helpful....to lean into love.  When people were acting out, it went best when I could remember to lean into love....or when I reflected on their behaviiour when I could remember the love..it helped.

i was also reminded of taking care of my health....of the practical aspects of washing hands, and taking time to rest and sleep....lots of sleep.

May you be cared for these days, and also be able to accept that care....

take care, LB

thinking of you this morning, LB, and it feels good to sit with everyone here for awhile.  Wrapping my arms around you folks, my friends.  Kleenex, a pot of tea, and some trees outside the window in the crisp morning air. 

I'm glad to hear that Pilgrim will soon be with you Muskota.  It seems that you two have found a special bond on WonderCafe.  She is a wonderful, thoughtful, insightful and compassionate person.  I have virtually cried on her shoulder. 

Thinking of you with a lump in my throat and my eyes misting.

When you feel sorrowful, look again in your heart and you will see that in truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Kahlil Gibran

love that quote, waterfall.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." Lao Tzu

LB, my sincere condolences in your loss of your partner - thinking of you with caring thoughts at this sad and difficult time for you.

May the love your partner had for you, which will never perish, continue to be a strength for you in the days ahead, and may your never-ending love for him be source of courage for you.

Although I chat with you on facebook, I find comfort here at the coffee shop...I know you'll continue to see beauty in your days, LB...even if tears get in the way. 

Rest softly in your sadness and sometimes this is a special time with your loved one.  I'll turn the lights down a bit and close the door...but we'll be just outside, keeping watch.

Hoping you are sleeping, but, if you happen to check in , may you feel the light of love and the prayers from your cafe friends surrounding you

Here is a piece that our choir used to sing....

I am sending you light to heal you, to hold you, 

I am sending you light to hold you in love.

May you feel that warmth today and in the days to come, like a gentle cloak settling on your shoulders.

The last couple of days have been filled with getting ready for tomorrow.  It will be a celebration of a wonderful life.

I culled through hundreds of pictures (I had enough of him to run for an hour!) and in every one he was smiling or content.  He had a happy, fun filled life ... even his work was fun.  It was the best thing I could have done making the collection that will be viewed tomorrow by every one.

You, forget, you know, until a picture reminds you and then you find yourself back in that happy place.  If I ever give any good advice be it this; take lots and lots of pictures of your loved ones and happy moments for there is great comfort in them.

I'm up late tonight trying to print the programmes for tomorrow.  I'm not happy with the quality ... but it is what it is.

My partner was a volunteer firefighter and his Station is playing a big role tomorrow.  They have never had an "active" member die and it has hit them all hard.  It is the only part of the day that I know for sure I will fall apart ... they are going to present his helmut to his son and grandson, ring the last bell and march out of the hall with a piper playing Amazing Grace to raise the flag that has been flying at half mast all week.

After that it will be fond memories and much laughter as we remember a man who made us laugh and crazy all at the same time.  It will be a good long day.

Today was a sad day for some reason ... maybe I'm tired, or maybe it is really hitting home he hasn't just gone off on some business trip.  He usually left Monday and came back Friday and ... today is Friday.  But after having a reprieve from tears for a couple of days, today I just kept crying.

I came across this song tonight and it is just perfect for how I feel today ....

Before the fears that I once had start coming back... again.
Oh please come back again... again,

      Newton Faulkner, If This Is It

What a great song. I had nevr heard it before.  It is making me cry tears of gratidude and loss at the same time.

may you be able to drift off to sleep , lb, with gentle tears.  not the kind that rack your body, but the soft kind that seem to just journey with us.

may you be able to be held by those around you during the firefighters portion as they too try to hold it together for you.

deep peace 

(sorry, i still can't imbed)

I never was very good with sleep ;-)

I am prepared this time for people who forget what a funeral ... or in this case a Celebration of Life ... is about.  For me it is about honouring the memory of the person who is no longer physically present to speak for themselves but whose spirit cries out to everyone to put aside any differences because life is too short for hostilities.

I went through all that before.  I will not go through it again.

So for those that might invite me to their drama play today, I will be politely, with dignity, be refusing their invitation.

For myself ... I, who can rise easily to anger, am refusing that personal invitation as well.  I keep thinking of all the time I wasted when he was alive getting annoyed about stuff.  What precious moments were lost because we, each and every one of us, falls into that trap of thinking a day, this day, is mundane, and put off until tomorrow or next week the fun, joyful activities because there are other "more important" things to do today, but then one day tomorrow doesn't come again.  No, each day is a precious thing to be treasured.  Every day should be an invitation to life, to joy, to laughter and love.

So when I feel myself wandering into that pity/anger party, I just tell myself 'no sorry, I'm leaving this place, there is a better place inside my head and I'm going there'

And when the anger, sadness, grief, complacency send their calling cards today, tomorrow and the day after the twelfth of never,  I will be playing this song in my head ....

Because photography, quotes and music are who I am ....

this is how I remember.

and the song that reminds me ....

Thinking of you today, and thanks for being a reminder, to live life, and to love.

LBMuskoka wrote above:

"What precious moments were lost because we, each and every one of us, falls into that trap of thinking a day, this day, is mundane, and put off until tomorrow or next week the fun, joyful activities because there are other "more important" things to do today, but then one day tomorrow doesn't come again.  No, each day is a precious thing to be treasured.  Every day should be an invitation to life, to joy, to laughter and love."

Wonderful advice.

My thoughts and prayers are with you today, LBMuskoka, as you celebrate the life of your loved one.  Even in celebration, there is great sadness and a sense of loss, and a hope that there might have been more time...for everything.

A dear friend died suddenly and unexpectedly at the end of July.  She was only 51.

Her family is having a Memorial service for her today in the UK.  Unfortunately I can't attend, but my thoughts are with the family.   I have many photos of her, laughing and enjoying life.  As you stated above, these now are very precious.

Great thoughts on declining invitations to drama, etc. LB.  Although we are not wholly beauty, joy, love, etc. inside, we can make the choice to lean and reside in that direction.  If that's what is inside....that's what comes out.  No ugliness today...love is out to play.  Peace to you...

Music is such a blessing. It embellishes memories and defines moments and comforts us in our deepest places and soothes our soul.

I will pray today that you will feel Gods loving presence enveloping your very being and you will draw strength from this to make it through.

With love

Waterfall

I'm here too, thinking about all that this day brings for you. 

Holding some quiet space open for you....

gecko46, holding you in my thoughts today as well,as you miss your friend,and have memories of other losses .