Excellent discussion Seeler...

 

I think it's media driven.  We are shown how we 'MUST' look and that if we don't look that way or wear the latest fashions that are hip and trendy then we just don't look good.

 

I highly doubted that our ancestors' cared one bit about how they looked.  It wasn't a priority unless they were in a royal court where you dressed appropriately for the environment. I don't care how I look to others.  I respect their right to dress however they so choose.  Just as I would hope they would respect me and allow me to dress how I choose.  I choose to wear what is comfortable for me, colors I like, fabrics that feel comfortable to wear, (I'm allergic to wool).

 

I'm looking forward to other peoples thoughts on this.

 

(>-.-)> *Peace* ~ Beyond ~ *Peace* <(-.-<)

 

Steven A. Breeze

aka: MaDiva

aka: Tao

aka: Wolfie

Aha, I am going through this dilemma myself seeler. Implants (very expensive) or denture. So for now, until I decide, I am "not beautiful", LOL!

 

Right now it's more about how much money do I want to spend and which one will give me a better bite.

 

I remember when I was younger and having dreams that my teeth would fall out. Apparently it is a common dream. It seemed like a nightmare at the time. Now I'm "living the dream".

If it was a front tooth I might get it fixed. If it was hardly noticeable and didn't hurt, I wouldn't. My husband has a partial/ removable bridge thingy that stopped fitting properly. His teeth had moved over slightly for some reason, just enough that it hurt him. He didn't have dental insurance so he just stopped wearing it. I noticed way back when I met him, the first time he took it out, he looked different. I don't notice at all now. That said, he doesn't have strong teeth, he did have to have a molar out not long ago and pay full price- so at some point he might have to do something about it. Whereas, I am fortunate to have good teeth. Never had an adult tooth get loose- yet anyway.

I worry about appearance to a point- for work, special occassions. I like to have my own style. But not overly concerned if I don't. I used to fuss a lot more, but I have better things to be concerned about.

I get it.  When something changes suddenly, it takes time to get used to it.  It not only looks different to hear, but it feels different too.  I always feel funny after chopping off a bunch of hair, but at least I decided to do so.  It's like when a huge zit comes up, it tends to be much more noticeable to the person with the zit than everyone else.  In this case it's probably also a concern with aging, whether it's conscious or not.  Today it's a tooth, tomorrow maybe it's bladder control.

 

I see this type of worry much different than when it's trying to change one's long term appearance, like trying to obtain a thigh gap.

That thigh gap thing...lol. Just read about that recently. I knew supermodels worried about it, but...? What'll they think of next to keep people self conscious and buying stuff?

I do wear a little bit of makeup. It takes me a couple of days to get used to a new haircut. I get highlights sometimes- about once a year or less (it's been since Sept 2012)- they take a long time to grow out- and so if I do have any early grey hairs, I haven't noticed yet because they'd blend in. I regret that I have couple of favourite clothes that don't fit anymore- even in the last two years, that I hang onto just in case! So, yeah, I can be a bit vain, I suppose- but I don't concern myself with my looks nearly as much as I did when I was a little younger. I did crash dieting, bought fashion mags. Not anymore. It's how I grew up. My mom was very concerned about my teeth. About her weight about my weight (and she's never been very overweight- me neither- about 20 lbs overweight at my heaviest which is now). She's into style- but she has her own original style that she likes to talk about. My step mom is into designer things. My mom did weightwatchers, my step mom dresses very well. I am not nearly as concerned as they are, anymore. I really can't afford to be- so I just don't worry about it. But I see where it came from.

chemgal said, Today it's a tooth, tomorrow maybe it's bladder control." Can I quote you on that?

 

My mother always said, "It's all maintenance from here on in...."

Priorites shift. I long ago gave up any notion of a "perfect" smile,  

I'll bet stock in the companies that supply this market is humming along nicely.

lol Sure

As long as I am happy with how I look I don't much care what others think.  But being happy about how I look means looking as best I can.  I don't wear make-up or fancy clothes, etc.  But I like to be neat, clean, and presentable.

 

About the tooth, though . . . if what is left of the tooth is going to be pulled, it might be important for dental health reasons to have an implant or bridge or whatever.  When I was young I had a molar pulled.  Over the years all my teeth at the bottom have shifted over in that direction and there is only a very tiny space.  This means that my teeth are now not aligned properly.  That's one mistake in youth I made I wish I could have a do-over for.

 

 

Of course we all recommended that she see her dentist.  The root will have to be taken care of - probably pulled.   But she is quite sure that her dental plan will not pay for a replacement and she seems is unable or unwilling to pay for it herself.  

If she were young, I would say that of course it must be fixed. She has a lifetime to chew with those teeth. But at our age, many people do quite well with one or more cuspids or molars missing. I'm one of them.

Her concern isn't about dental health, or how she will manage to chew her food. At least that is not what she is sharing. Her concern is about appearance - and, as I said, it really doesn't affect her appearance. It would be hard to notice if she didn't make a point of showing it.

Why do we think we need to be perfect? Our bodies grow old. Our hair turns grey or falls out (she has beautiful silver hair). Our bodies change shape - things droop. Our hands get twisted with arthritis. And we lose our teeth. We do our best to keep up our health - and our looks. We exercise to the best of our ability. Sometimes we put some colour in our hair, and if it is thinning we have it styled to look its best. But why do we sweat the small stuff, or worry about things that cannot be changed (or would be very expensive to try to change)?

 

In today's society that is practically a rhetorical question.  Pick up a magazine, or watch TV shows.... EVERYONE regardless of age is portrayed as being supposed to meet a certain standard of beauty/perfection that isn't realistic. Even most elderly persons on TV and in magazine adds are shown as being slender (not overweight and nothing droops) with perfect hair and straight white teeth (that are all there).  So it doesn't come as a surprise to me that someone would be worried that a missing tooth would negatively impact how others perceive how she looks or that it is apparently negatively impacting her own perception of her appearance.

I can only answer that question for myself but when I look good I feel good. AND the reality is that people relate to me in a more positive way.

I could totally understand the concern about appearance if it was a front tooth, or one that was noticable without being pointed out. 

Many people fret about their appearance it seems.  When it comes to mouths there aren't many people in their 60's and up with a beautiful set of white teeth that are naturally theirs.  I too have gaps where teeth have wandered to fill the available spaces here other teeth were taken from.  Who had money to fix teeth back when the kids were at home relying on us for shelter, food, clothing, glasses, sports equipment etc etc.?

 

Teeth aren't the only thing folks stress about though - there's wrinkles. blemishes, scars, noses too large or small, baggy eye skin, facial hair, greying hair, dimming eyes, poor balance and chronic diseases.  Maybe that is why it is considered a good thing to be grateful that things atren't worse!

I have no problem looking at people with missing teeth.

My Dad once left a funeral ibecause he realized he forgot his "tooth".

A guy I liked would never smile in pictures because he was missing teeth.

These men look great to me but they don't feel that way.  How sad.

I am balding, with grey hair, a little over-weight and I wear glasses. Sorry ladies but I am taken.  It is all about confidence.

 

Are you sure you are not my husband, dreamerman? 

My image of you has been completely wrong!
I thought your avatar was a pic of you needing a shave.
Soooo disappointed...
;)

I am short, round, wear glasses, have dentures... and I never worry about it. Women have taught me that looks are not what makes someone attractive. My humour and all that majes me hot LMAO
I do worry about what I can control so I iron my clothes and wear deodrant.

This thread reminds me of a movie that I watched this past week:  Enough Said.

 

In part, it had to do with how others comments about someone can alter our own take on them.......i think it is the same about ourselves.  Important to give ourselves and others positve feedback about their appearance, behaviour and capabilities

Maybe in another life. BTW I am only 44 going on 64. I know I look old for my age.

Actually I hate shaving but I also can't grow a very good beard. I tried once growing a beard and I looked like Santa with a grey beard.I don't know how guys can grow those things. I kind of do the MIami Vice 5 o'clock shadow thing evey week. My wife likes to call me scruff. I don't know why.

Kay - it sounds like we grew up in a similar situation. Only well-to- do kids got braces & proper dental care. you had to have a toothache to go. Our dentist had awful halitosis - no mask.

In spite of it all, for the last 10 years I've had a dental plan at work, so I've been able to keep those crooked teeth for the most part. If I smile big, my gap from poorer times can be seen. the plan doesn't cover crowns and bridged.

Ninja, you know our family. It was with me that the dental coverage appeared.  i 'm thinking it is an age thing as well, as you are closer to my older sister who woudl not have had it in her youth

Dental care?- I can remember taking aspirin or putting powdered cloves in a tooth to ease the pain that would eventually require a trip to the dentist in town (50 miles - and the train only ran three days a week).     It was cheaper to have a tooth pulled than to try to save it -- and it wouldn't be hurting again in a few years when the filling fell out or you got another cavity.   I had my upper teeth out by the time I was 30, and most of my lower molars.   I was able to save my front bottom teeth - bottom plates caused a lot of problems back then.    Young people today are so lucky to be able to take care of their teeth.

Seeler, my dentist told me that I was part of the first generation that people were likely to die with all their teeth. 

One generation younger than me.   I think that this is why I was surprised when this woman, a few years older than me, was so worried about her appearance when I think most of our contemporaries would have taken it for granted that people our age either had missing teeth or partial or full plates.   "Break a tooth' in my generation usually means knocking off a false tooth and having to leave your plate with the denturist for a few hours to get it glued back on.

Can someone please tell me what a "thigh gap" is?

Yhis video shows the unreal expectations the ounger generation face ... brought to them by photoshop.http://www.upworthy.com/see-why-we-have-an-absolutely-ridiculous-standard-of-beauty-in-just-37-seconds

The video is worth watching! I was amazed at what can be done!