I have no children

But I was a child once... and I HATED going to church, but after coming home I'd always be psyched about God and scripture and the rest of it.

Again I have no children so I have no real suggestions, but perhaps crafting some sort of simple ritual/routine around church that your children could look forward to would help.

But ya church can be a terribly boring place for kids.

During the service, before they go back to Sunday School most of the kids in my church walk around and dance. One little girl spins during the hymns.

I'm glad that they do.

actually, i have the opposite problem, my kids all LOVE going to church, and if we can't go, we have 3 distraught children.

for them, they enjoy seeing their friends there. we go to a church that is outside the community we live in, so the only place they see these kids is at church.

our church also had a 'secret pen pal' type project a few years ago, where a bunch of the older members got together and started writing annonymous letters to the older kids, telling them about their life and stuff. the kids LOVED it, and to this day there is still a special bond between the kids and the older members who participated in that program. i'd try that... if your son could meet an older member and form a bond with them, it might help.

My two oldest children hate going to Ritual, although the older one is showing signs that she wants to be a Witch.

Our 4 yr old Son loves it.

my church works the same way. I hated going to church but the lessons were OK. My parents stopped going to church though and I really don't care. It's an hour that I can spend doing homework or just enjoying the weekend (which is more important than church if your enjoying it if you ask me)
Church isnt for everyone and shouldnt have to be. Thats the way I see it.

We just recently started going to church again because my 4 yr old was asking to go. For now it's something new and exciting for her. She loves the singing and Sunday School and social time afterwards.

I was given the choice by my parents.....I chose not to go.

I thank my parents for that.

They did force me to go to piano lessons though..and I hated that.

Hi LucyCat,

My 3 year old loves it, my 7 year old dreads it and my 13 year old just can't stand it. I can understand it from the teenager's point as there's nothing for him, with the exception of sitting through the service with the adults. I don't know why my 7 year old doesn't like it but if we can even catch one of these age groups it could mean progress. I'm hoping it's just a matter of him getting to know the other kids better - who knows.

I would love to see recommendations!

I was given the choice by my parents.....I chose not to go.

I regret my parents did that. They meant well, I understood their philosophy now that I'm a parent, but I was a child! How was I suppose to make such a decision.

I regret it because despite a wonderful life, and a huge amount of education, I missed out on something really great. It was only in middle age I discovered church, and the spiritual part of me and my life. Its really hard to do that as an adult if you've had no exposure as a child.

What is it that is boring? Is it the God thing in general? Having to sit through the stuff "the old people" like? (Old people being over 18!) Having to sit at all? I've got an 8-year-old, and sometimes I feel like I'm having to sit on him to get him to be present at all -- which I really don't like feeling, much less doing! And yes, we do make him go, even when he'd rather stay at home and play with Legos. But more often, he's willing to come along. At the church we're at, they've (at least temporarily) set aside the goal of everyone worshipping together, and are experimenting with two groups worshipping concurrently. It's made the older folks sad to not have the kids around, and I think the kids will miss something not interacting with the oldest generation, but we're trying to see if worship geared at parents and (younger) kids might fly. (When the folks upstairs complain, we invite them to visit.)

Return questions: Do you find the worship engaging? inspiring? If so, are there ways you can express what opens you to God in worship that might connect with your child? If not, what changes might you yourself like to see?

Can he sit with his gang durring the in church stuff? When I was a teen everyone would go to the back row of the balcony. It was different since we didn't have to sit with our parents.

Are you making him wear his "sunday moring go to church" clothes? Maybe he'd be more agreeable if hes allowed to wear just regular stuff (not play stuff but nice everyday things)

My 3-year old wants to go, but we can't make it work as often as I would like. I have two churches, and so two services. Which is much too much for a 3-year old, but we are a one car family, so it's really all or nothing for my daughter. If there were Sunday School at both churches, maybe. I look forward to joint services for many reasons.

I absolutely loved going. I was a bookworm. Anything that was studying, learning and books, I was happy. My siblings despised it. It was too boring, too strict, too long, too stuffy, too many old people.... Too ____.
We started an afterwards ritual. It changed every so often, so they did not get bored with that. If you stayed home, dad was not an attendee, you took a pass. It might just be ice cream or a stop at the park. It might be going out to eat or even a movie. It was never viewed as a bribe. Mom just said "since everyone is clean and dressed up, we might as well show ourselves off". Dad took a pass and whoever stayed home with him. Nobody stayed home much.

My kids are now 15 and 17, and mostly up until they were teenagers, they went to church regularly. They really didn't have an option, it was just something that happened on Sunday morning, kinda like school happens during the week. I have taught Sunday school for more than 10 years now, so maybe the process of me during the week talking about the lesson for that week, and planning crafts or fun stuff to do in the lesson helped. I do have a couple of observations though, (after 10 years of seeing kids in church on Sunday mornings) if you're interested.
First observation: Just like the adults, kids need to have their own "circle of friends" at church. The kids who come regularly enough to make connections and friends with other kids come back happily and more often.
Second observation: The more hands-on interactive stuff there is to do, the better. Themes that last a number of weeks get kids pumped to come back if you can tell them what fun stuff (and I mean fun!) they are going to do next week. What kind of curiculum is being used for Sunday school in the church you attend?
Third observation: Most kids hate the time in the pew before they leave to go to Sunday school because what happens in that time is of little interest to them. Blah blah announcements, a hymn or two, and mom/dad saying shhhhh! sit down! leave your brother alone! Take a coloring book, or note paper, or something to keep hands busy for the first 10 minutes if the fidgeting bugs you, 'cause it really does bug you more than it bugs the little grey haired lady behind you. She thinks it cute. Usually.
Fourth observation: Do something fun after church as a family: like go for breakfast. I found this was a sanity saver sometimes.
I have some opinions too, but I can share those at another time.

Yep, just read the comment from Millk about the clothes too.... If they want to get dressed up, that's cool, but honestly, the Sunday best thing is passe. The key I think is to relax! If kids feel uptight by having to wear fancy clothes when they don't want to, or sit like "little angels" in a pew, they are not likely to want to go to church.

Actually I think part fo the appeal right now for my 4yr old daughter is the "dress up" factor. Any excuse. She make's me wear a skirt.

Right now no. He's one and pretty much flips through the song books for a half hour while his great grandmother and grandmother entertains him. However the last half hour, he starts to get antsy, so we usually duck out to our fellowship room and I let him run around there.

As lacking as the nursery is for younger kids, I have to say that the church has a pretty good Sunday School and Youth program. The Sunday school is usually run by a couple of retired primary grade teachers, the youth program is run by a mother and a youth worker, all of whom are members of the church and have been for some time.

I think trying to see what resources your church might have and feeding off those can really help. Former teachers, youth workers, social workers, child care professionals, to see if they can lend a hand at enriching programs for youngsters.

Curriculum is important. My son hated church because the teachers used a curriculum that assumed a) all the kids could read and like using scissors and felt pens, and b) that they could spell well enough to do photocopied crosswords & seak a words. Later on in his school life he was diagnosed as having fine motor skill problems which meant that coloring and cutting activities were torture. Easy for the teachers, tough for him. We ended up at a different church which has been doing Workshop Rotation Model Sunday School (WoRM for short if you want to do an internet search). It generally was more active and hands-on, crafts did not happen every week, and the teachers were more excited about what they did as they only did 4 week committments. He really enjoyed it much better. From my perspective of having a rusty education degree, it is a much more child-centered and wholistic approach. It also helped that it was the only time he got to see his best friend and talk about Harry Potter and video games!

I have 3 grown children now, and raised all of them in the church. Going to church was just something we did as a family. I didn't make much of a fuss about it being "boring". My attitude was basically "whose problem is this?" Answer: theirs. Once you make it yours, and try to change the church or its children's programs to suit them, I really think the kids will keep up the "I'm bored" stuff just so you're the one with the anxiety about it and they never need to manage their boredom themselves. Church isn't entertainment - like soccer, ballet or some other children's activity. I didn't really worry if they didn't find it "fun".

The "result"? One virtual atheist, one borderline-attends occasionally- believes most of it - will go back when he has kids, and one candidate for ordained ministry! (The kids are 32, 24 and 21 now)

Up until they're about 12 or 13 (every kid's different, mind you), I wouldn't think kids are capable of making a responsible and well thought out decision about going...I wouldn't say force them, but try to engage them. Teenagers should be given the choice...it did wonders for me. My normally over-controlling parents actually never put up a fuss when I started easing my way out of Sunday mornings and finally stopped all together. It was only when my work supervisor scheduled me for Sunday mornings and I no longer had the freedom to CHOOSE whether or not I would go that I started really missing it and ended up quitting my job in order to go back.

There have been some very interesting thoughts here.

When my kids were preschoolers we went less often. It was just too much hassle. As they got older they started to opt out of going because my husband didn't go. Once my husband realized he had to make the effort to go if he wanted them to go, they couldn't be left home alone so they had to come. Once I agreed to teach Sunday School, my older son enjoyed it more. Once he was able to stay home, he came less often but the rest of us stayed involved, and with it being part of our lives, he was still connected. He chose to be confirmed but doesn't choose to come very often. My younger son has always loved it and has never stopped going. He felt connected because kids from his school went also. He goes even when we choose not to go. We have no issues about clothing - he wears what he wants - and he sits together with the youth usually.

It's been great to read everyone's suggestions. Thank you:) The Sunday Best dress is not an issue with us - jeans are the norm in our church. I like the idea of doing something after church. I'll keep working at it.

My kids are 13 and 14 and until recently we did not have a problem getting them to go to church. Now though is another story.....
Our oldest made a commitment (was baptized) to Christ last year, but longer attends church on Sunday mornings. She finds it too boring and alot of what she hears is over her head.
My husband and I are both youth leaders and our kids regulary attend youth group ao they do get the message there, I just wish they would willingly attend Sunday services. I know that if we force them to go they will not get anything out of it and will not only resent us, but church as well.......