I'm curious Serena, what sort of a restaurant was this? I'm picturing a family restaurant - not fast food, but something like Smitty's or Denny's. I have no problems with kids being there, making noise and running around. If, however, it was more of a high end place -  then I can understand that it would be an issue.

Sounds painful, unpleasant and difficult Serena.

When we had kids we were careful to pick places to eat that were a bit child friendly while serving reasonably good food.  Even without the children it is unreasonable to wait an hour to be served.  Buffet style or smorgasbord was our favourite pick - small children couldn't really see the food on the serving tables so accepted what they were given. Places like McD and DQ were avoided as the food wasn't healthy and good tasting to us. 

With forethought we found that the kids could go most places and behave reasonably well.  It takes at least two adults though so one child can be taken outside for a few minutes if necessary.  Never took them to church so I don't know how that would work!

We were at Boston Pizza.

Whenever I have eaten there the service has been abominally slow.  I find them a bit expensive too for what they serve. 

At a place like BPs, some noise and mess is fine.  If a kid can't sit or stand right at the table though, it's time to go.  A child running around at a sit down restaurant can be dangerous.  If it's not too cold outside, maybe a quick run around would help.  Usually there's a big rock or something they can climb on.  Since the service was taking so long, it would not have been unreasonable to see if the food is almost ready and get it packed to go, or to leave paying only for what was already consumed.  Chemguy and I have had to do that without kids.

Church depends on the church!  I wouldn't want to be in a crowded candle lit service with kids who feel the need to move around.  Seek out a family friendly service, but that's more difficult in a small town.

Were the parents not looking after their children? Why was a two year old able to run around the restaurant? I do agree an hour is too long to wait for food. Our local BP will do what they can to ensure tables with small children get served promptly. Our BP is also always quite loud, so child noise is not an issue.

Serena, what level of decorum were you expecting at a restaurant/bar that has Howie Mandel as a spokesman?

The parents were busy visiting except when I got after them they grabbed their kids. I went to the bathroom and 2 of the children followed me later. I nearly tripped over them.

Look down?
The trick to this situation is to engage the kids. They hate being ignored, so talk to them. Get them crayons. Play peek-a-boo. They outnumber you, so you've lost all hope of having purely adult conversations and pretending they aren't there, which is inexplicably what you seem to have expected.

I agree with Chansen. Engage the kids and they'll be much better behaved and everyone will have a better time. Let them colour and bring quiet toys with you (by quiet I mean ones that don't have loud, electronic noises associated with them - Tickle Me Elmo is out, an Elmo puppet is in). Kids will do what they have to, to get attention - if bad behaviour is what works, then they will use that. 

That said, I wonder if anyone has ever considered setting up a chain, like McDonalds, that offers places for kids to play - and that offers mainly healthy food choices. It seems to me that might be a good idea.

And for Christmas I got 8 x 10 photos of these liTtle darlings that I won't put up cuz it'll remind me of that day

The pictures won't remind you of all the good stuff they do? 

Kids in restaurants?  - I think I would have felt like you did Serena. 

The wait was unexceptable - for pizza?   It might have been ok for the main course to be individually prepared at a gormet restaurant - but then you would have started with appetizers, soup, salad and rolls while you waited. 

Four kids aged 2 and under?   I probably would have passed the invite, or maybe suggested take-out or delivery to be eaten in one of their homes where the kids would have had their toys, cribs, play area.  If the only choice was a restaurant the parents should have had some emergency food.  You can't expect kids that age to be good when they are hungry.  So while the mothers gave the babies bottles and spooned babyfood into their mouths, you might have tried walking the two older ones around a bit. 

Was there an aquarium?  That will occupy them for a bit.  Even a fountain will get their attention?  Or a display of antiques?  Christmas decorations?  A restaurant here has an old electric train layout that runs on a shelf near the ceiling all around the two rooms -double tracks with trains running in both directions, through tunnels between the roomss, over tressel bridges.  Kids love to watch that. 

Back at their seats give them a roll or crackers to nibble on - and a glass of juice. 

And remember, the parents are used to talking over their kids. What is loud enough to drive us older folks crazy is normal background noise for the mothers. 

Note:  I'm not advocating anybody let their kids run wild or pester other patrons.  But sometimes in a family outing you have to cut a little slack. 

ps - where were these kids dads?  couldn't they have looked after them for a couple of hours?

Children should never be down and running around in restaurants. Much too dangerous for them and the wait staff.

It sounds like you wanted to have a nice dinner with your nieces but whenever kids are there, particularly when the eldests is only 2 you have to plan on a kid focused meal.

A bag of toys, colouring, small cars small books. It cannot be a meal where the adults chat and the children sit and do nothing.

And even if you were at McDonalds, you still wouldn't be chatting with your nieces as the kids need parental supervision to use a play areas and likely only the eldest would be old enough.

It is nice that you met up with your nieces and their families. Next time bring a small grab bag of things for each child to open and keep them occupied

Lastly, an hour waiting for dinner is much too long,after 30 minutes, call the manager

What good stuff would that be? Ii never see these kids

I agree with lastpointe who said it very well!

especially the bit that recognises the problem of expecting kids to sit and do nothing.  My kids NEVER did nothing unless they were sound asleep!  If something suitable wasn't available for them to do they would come up with something unsuitable to do!

Sounds like a bad choice of venue, bad service and four bored kids under the age of 3. That you hold anything against the kids is astounding.

4 adults/ 3 toddlers and a baby

None of the 3 mothers had brought anything to keep their child occupied?

I agree with lastpointe- a bag full of fun quiet things to do would have worked.

Serena you really are blessed to be able to get together with family and little ones!

(Please note my tongue in my cheek)

think children under 18 should only be allowed to eat in malls or places with pits of balls.

The noise can be minimized by the parents crying.

I think all restaraunts should use paper plates, paper cups and plastic silverware... it makes it hard to cut a steak with a plastic knife, but the running kids woun't get hurt by tripping wait staff and breaking glass and sharp knives.

(SG removes tongue from cheek)

Seriously, if I took my dog somewhere for an hour or so I would not just bring poop bags but would bring along something to keep the dog occupied. I would because I have to if I expect her to sit quietly for that long.

I don't know - what about their cute smiles, the way they say "hi Auntie Serena," the pictures they draw. I'm sure if you look hard enough, you can find something to like about them. 

When Rachel was little, I didn't take her to any place where we had to wait to be served.  It had little to do with the others around me; I didn't want to have to deal with a bored, grumpy toddler.  There were still times when we had to wait a long time for things, though, and keeping her entertained was next to impossible.  The worst was going to the ophthalmologist when she was only a year old.  The wait was always at least 2 hours long and there were never enough seats so she'd be on my lap or Jim's lap.  There were a few toys for kids and we always brought some of our own, but it's just not enough when you're expecting a child that small to wait for so long.  You'd think they'd have even had a tv playing kids movies since it was a pediatric ophthalmologist, but nope.  I finally gave up waiting in the waiting room and took her in to the hallway instead.  She would run up and down the hall (most of the offices had closed doors anyway) and giggle a lot.  I figured I was better off having a giggling, happy child in the hall than I was having a squirmy, angry child in the office.  People in a few offices down the hall were a bit annoyed, but quite frankly as far as I'm concerned the problem was that the ophthalmologist had ridiculous wait times and almost nothing to amuse kids, despite focusing entirely on kids for their practice. 

As an aside to this, I'm seldom bothered by kids laughing or being silly or even getting a bit loud in restaurants, but I'm often annoyed by other parents who are getting mad at their kids over the smallest things.  The other day I saw a dad who kept getting mad at his girls who looked like they were about 2 and 4 in a McDonalds.  The 2 year old got her own high chair and the 4 year old got bibs for them both and found a table for them, and he was yelling at them, not realizing that they were being responsible and respectful the whole time. 

I hold nothing against the children.

I probably won't visit again until high school graduation.

I didn't expect them to sit. I suggested a different restaraunt. Before this we went swimming and I was invited along so the adult/child ratio would be even so one child would not drown.

I just don't think I'm a kid person.

Oh Serena,

You sometimes feel disconnected from family in your life. Here are 4 little ones that you could fill a role in their lives and them in yours. You could become the favourite Aunt (or great aunt).

I'll admit it-I'm envious. I wish there were wee ones closer in my family.

Opportunity for joy is being offered to you.

Instead you are saying-well I won't see them for 12 years! What a scrooge

and as for not being a kid person-I thought you taught music to 3 and 4 year olds?

I used to teach music to 3-4 year olds. I upped the age to 5 now.

And I guess we just want what we can't have. I want people in my family who are my age and single so we could go on holidays together and go to the bar together.

I'm not saying that I dislike the children. I'm just saying that we don't fit together. We live in different worlds.

Serena - worlds can be bridged with a little effort. The initiative has to come from the adult, of course - but getting to know your nieces and nephews, and allowing them the opportunity to get to know you can be a wonderful experience for everyone. I am someone who didn't get much chance to get to know my Uncles, Aunts and cousins growing up because they mostly lived on different continents - and I was jealous of those kids who had extended families who lived close enough for frequent visits. Just because you can't go to the bar with your nieces and nephews, does not mean that you can't have fun with them!

i would never take 4 kids that young to any restaurant other than mcdonalds or 'chuck e cheese'.  it simply won't be a pleasant outing for anybody. 

go to rotten ronnies, let the kids run around in the play area.  at least you get to have a decent conversation - you won't worry about them destroying anything or knocking over some poor waiter, and if they don't eat the food you didn't pay all that much for it in the first place.

once the kids are older and are able to sit for longer periods of fime, THEN you can go to the nicer places.

until then, just learn to love a happy meal and get on with your life.

Afteer swimming, those kids were hungry!   No wonder a hour long wait was over the top.  Definitely the wrong choice of restaurant.

Serena - I understand.  These kids are not your nieces and nephews but grandnieces and nephews - one more generation removed from you.   If your nieces don't include you in their lives except as a helper/baby sitter, then I don't blame you for feeling put-upon.  As parents, they are adults too.  But they may be feeling pretty overwhelmed at this time in their lives.

If you would like to keep up a relationship with them, why not suggest a girl's only outing.  "Hey, girls.  Do you think your husbands or a sitter could take over so we could have an afternoon at the spa?"  (or dinner and an evening at the movies, or catch a musical, or just have them over to hang out in an 'adult' livingroom).   Get to know them better - then you might be able to get to know their children in small doses.  Fewer kids / shorter periods of time. 

When I was a child I saw my aunts , uncles and cousins a lot at family events.

.
Then there were those teen and twenties years where it was sporadic. Life is busy, teens are self centered, school, work, marriage...

.
But when I had kids myself and once
again lived in the same city as my aunts, I reconnected.

.
I would take my infant and later my toddler and infant, to visit them. Perhaps for tea, a walk, lunch maybe. Sometimes it was an hour drive to Scrborough, an hour visit and an hour home.

.
But I love reconnecting with them, and I loved the kids getting to know their great aunts and uncles just like they got to know grandparents.

.
And now I have a niece who lives in the city with a young son. We don't connect a lot and it is usually me driving to her place because of car issues, but it is great to reconnect.

.
Reach out to these young women who are your nieces. And get to know their children. They can help fill the family gap in your life perhaps.

.
Single friends your own age find apart from family. Work, church, library, single clubs, YMCA, join a singles travel group...

There were a number of adults, so, going to Boston Pizza should have been fine.  Used to take my boys to restaurants without issue.

I am confused by the two children being underfoot.  Are you saying that the 13month old follwoed you to the restaurant  (or did the mother take the child to te washroom to change diaper, etc)

Seeler said "Serena - I understand.  These kids are not your nieces and nephews but grandnieces and nephews - one more generation removed from you.   If your nieces don't include you in their lives except as a helper/baby sitter, then I don't blame you for feeling put-upon.  As parents, they are adults too.  But they may be feeling pretty overwhelmed at this time in their lives."

Yes exactly. That they have kids and I don't just makes me feel like more of an outsider. And ya an extra babysitter.
 

Pinga;

The 13 month old was taken out of his high chair by his mother and told to go see Auntie. So he ran back and forth b/t his mother and me. The two year old was sitting beside me. When I went to the washroom he followed me. I asked him if he had to go potty he said no he was just checking on me. But what he did grab the 13 month old's sock and run around the restaraunt and then the 13 month old chased him.

Lastpointe;

There are no singles clubs in my town. There are no single people in church. Church is for families not singles.

Book clubs are for older people.

I'm actually thinking of moving to the city to find things to do.

I've decided that I don't need to do the family Christmas thing. I may make this a once a year outing and insisit on going to McDonalds for lunch.

My nieces are single parents.  They are overwhelmed and have no time for friendships.

I was over for Thursday night and Friday.  I took one shopping and helped the girls at meal time.  Its difficult feeding a child and yourself at least for the unpractised.

One child in a restaraunt is much easier to handle I discovered.  They are quieter and she constantly wanted to sit on my lap.  But I was prepared I had toys in my purse.  So while we waited an hour at Boston Pizza again the child was fine.

I'm glad things went better this time around Serena!