MikePaterson
Feeding the Family
Posted on: 08/19/2010 11:32
There’s a lot of evidence that regular family meals around a table are healthier for everyone involved, especially children and teens. The “family meal” has been shown to nurture physical and mental health, academic and work performance, “better” lifestyle decisions, sleep patterns… etc, etc. As a time for companionship, it’s an anti-depressant. It seems it can even help with weight loss (by giving people control over the ingredients that go into their food).
There’s also a lot of evidence that the sit-down “family meal” is on the way out.
I appreciate the facts that lots of families have multiple work priorities and that “time is money”… but what are money and paid employment for? What is food for? Average daily screen time (television, video, game console and online entertainment) runs very high for all ages in Canada: six to eight hours depending on age group and other factors… so there is actually heaps of “spare” time in the “average” lifestyle.
A friend told me about a neighbour’s child who talked to her about some serious real life issues that were arising at school because her folks were “too busy” to hold a conversation; they were oblivious to the situation. “Busy” basically meant television and online play.
Time is cited as an excuse for all sorts of “can’t do”s but is that really the issue?
As the family cook, I detest the way food is processed, treated, distributed and sold in this country. I make our own bread (it’s tremendously satisfying, and it doesn’t take a whole lot of time to mix and knead the dough, let it rise, punch it down, form loaves or rolls and bake for 15 minutes or so) — we get it cheap (I use unbleached white flour with no additives), preservatives-free, and my weekly “bread day” fills the house with a wonderful smell.
I try to make each meal from fresh and interesting seasonal ingredients and present it in a way that LOOKS attractive too. A little garnish and care in presentation cost nothing. We DON’T have lots of money, so our main evening meals are not expensive: $3-$5 a person as a rule. Preparing dinner usually take me about an hour, often less, occasionally more. It’s worth it because of the satisfactions: for me as a cook, for my wife as an offering of care and love, for our friends as an embrace of hospitality. It’s fun because I find food and flavours interesting, and eating together deepens friendships.
I try to keep the refrigerator and pantry shelves fairly bare, ona use and replace basis, and use a freezer with some care (at the moment it’s getting loaded with herbs, blueberries and red currants from the back-yard, and applesauce made mostly from wild windfalls along the trail we walk.)
When I put the time and the cost and the effort alongside the enjoyment, savings and spin-offs, it adds up to be a very rewarding, efficient, cost-effective deal. People complain about taxes but they’ll shower money on fast food outlets. It’s crazy.
I have relatives who, renting a furnished apartment, NEVER got around to using the stove and complained about their cost of living. Our daughter had a boyfriend in Scotland who seemed painfully awkward at our place for dinner one evening: then we found out that it was the FIRST time he’d sat at a table with a knife and fork for a meal. Our daughter told us that at home, this boy’s family sat around in front of the television and when one of his parents or sisters, or he, got hungry he or she would go off to the nearby “chippie” and bring home a wrapped deep-fry and proceed to eat it, alone. The smell of hot grease would then stir another member of the family to go and get something, and gradually, one at a time, the family members and guests would feed themselves. (This boy’s father, since then, has committed suicide. Maybe it’s not that family dinners work as an anti-depressant so much as it being the case that alternatives to it can be seriously depressing.) I taught journalism there for a while (Central Scotland) and discovered from my students that this kind of arrangement was far from uncommon. God forbid we’ll ever get to that point in Canada, laden with food options as we are.
Not having done restaurants for years, I have to say that many of the BEST meals I’ve ever had have been in places like rural Bulgaria, rural southern Italy and Galician Spain: among people far poorer than we are in Canada. but whose culture place high values on fresh, flavourful food and generous hospitality.
If you live on a pittance and want to be hospitable, you have to use your imagination more creatively, I guess. These people (rarely obese) typically use a diversity of vegetables, home-grown herbs, fruits, olive oil, etc, and interesting cooking techniques, to transform portions of meat or fish that we tend not to touch — offal and other cheap, cheap cuts (belly meat, brains, feet, eyes, tongues) —into healthy, amazing, memorable meals.
And, for the most part, these people (presumably I’ve met the most hospitable ones… or I’d have been eating elsewhere) seemed vibrantly sociable: with neighbours, friends, relatives and oddball visitors like me sharing their table.
The thing is NOT that we should judge ourselves because we don’t do more of this sort of thing… but surely we should think about it as an option. Collectively, we take in too many calories and waste far too much food. We have been ensnared by a supermarket system that brainwashes us with those jarring flyers to buy more and more, cheaper and cheaper, faster and faster, without pause for discernment or thought. They want that crap off their shelves, and they want your money. They have got very good at that, and they leave you to throw out the slimy stuff that piles up at the back of the refrigerator.
Learning more about food makes it fun (it can even make grocery shopping fun, if you have your imagination focussed on the wonderful meals you plan to put on the table, instead of glazing over on the advertising, the muzak and the inanity of it all); basic, fresh ingredients are almost always cheaper than processed and part-processed off-the-shelf products (cheap buys and home-grown herbs spread the budget: don’t go “yuck!”… there ARE great things you can do with liver); it’s proven as a healthy way to eat, and it encourages kids, friends and family to grow their home lives (instead of simply having houses to doss at).
And (unless everyone in your household is insanely extreme in their over-commitment) it is simply not believable to say that it takes time you don’t have. It is just a minr readjustment of priorities.
(And, if everyone in your household is insanely extreme in their over-commitment, you had better get counselling very, very soon.)
Search
Recently Active...
Comments
seeler
Posted on: 08/19/2010 17:08
Mike - I definitely agree with you about the family meal. I grew up in a family that honored this tradition. We each had our place at the table, my brother and I at the back, my two sisters on the other side. Mom on one end, Dad on the other. Dad's work allowed him to be home for dinner. Mom stayed at home. We kids went to the local school and got home at noon as well as mid-afternoon. And this was the age before TV entered the homes. Meals were family affairs. I would have liked to carry on the tradition.
Unfortunately my truck-driver husband was never home for the noon meal, and often had to work into the evening - sometimes until 9:00 or later. So if he wasn't home by 6:00 pm the kids and I ate without him - earlier if Seelergirl had CGIT or Seelerboy had sports. The traditional big family dinner was limited to weekends.
The solution was to have breakfast together. I got up and started breakfast. Dad and kids took turns in the bathroom. Then we all sat down and ate together. We all ate the same food. Conversation over the table. It was a great way to start the day. After breakfast we made lunches, Dad left for work, kids did the breakfast dishes while I tidied up and got out the meat for supper. Kids left for school; I left for work. One good meal together at the start of the day - maybe it didn't make up for regular dinners together but it was better than nothing.
I notice Seelergirl tried to schedule at least some family meals together despite the family's busy schedules.
somegirl
Posted on: 08/19/2010 17:47
Our apartment does not have a place where we can put a table that we can all sit at. We have home cooked meals every day and we all eat in the livingroom at the same time. I also schedule about 1/2 hour or so every day at my son's bedtime that we just chat about whatever we like.
seeler
Posted on: 08/19/2010 18:00
I don't think where you eat is nearly as important as the preparing and eating meals together - we really like the back deck in summer and the round table in the middle of the all-purpose room worked for us at our camp when the kids were little. Family time, sharing time can happen anywhere or anytime. Just many families do find mealtime most convenient and it does help to ensure good nutrition when the meals are prepared and eaten as a family rather than grabbed on the run.
kaythecurler
Posted on: 08/19/2010 21:14
I too agree that ideally families should eat together - same time - same place - same food.
We were able to do this but our younger generation don't think it is as important as 'whatever is easiest'.
I'm sure some of this comes from having two income families - a thing I think isn't wise or necessary. One parent at home means no childcare expenses, more economical meals, more ability to keep suitable ingredients in the house, less temptation to take the expensive eat out, pick up or delivery option.
sighsnootles
Posted on: 08/20/2010 08:16
i find that 'take out' food or restaurants is RIDICULOUSLY expensive. so much so that we may have a meal prepared outside the home maybe once or twice a month.
when i'm making meals, i challenge myself to try and make food that 'remembers where it came from'.... meaning that i use as many fresh ingredients as possible. this takes time, though, and i appreciate that this isn't something that everyone could do.
for example, last night we had pork chops, which i marinaded all day in a thai peanut sauce type thing that i pulled out of my 'beat this!' cookbook. it was accompanied by a thai cucumber salad. for desert, we had ice cream sandwiches - home made vanilla ice cream with home made oatmeal cookies.
a friend of mine got us a set of 'table games' that we play all the time... its like a set of recipie cards that we keep on the table, and it has all these games that you can play as you are eating your meal together. the favorite is 'family superstar', where you pick a person in your family and everyone has to do their best imitation of that person. the winner gets to choose who the next impression will be.
Birthstone
Posted on: 09/15/2010 08:12
Sigh - I want the name of that game, perhaps you're in the throws of moving right now, but if you pop in here, I'd love to hear it. Maybe I'll wondermail you.
We learned to eat well & cook well to save money when we had none. I also thought it was letting my kids down if I got them hooked on other stuff. But it took time & attention. For me it was a gift I could give to my family that made the most of our meagre resources and kept us stable & healthy.
We sometimes eat at the table, and have at times made a point to do it. These days though, we put on an episode of a tv program we're into (we dont' have cable, so this is our only tv watching/no commercials either!) and we eat together. It becomes a family event, it lasts only about 45 mintues, and then we walk the dogs or play a board game or do homework ... rather than getting sucked into more tv. Its not perfect and I miss dinner at the table sometimes, but it has a fun atmosphere to it.
Many of our recipes are vegetarian, but regardless, it is usually homemade from scratch. I have, at busy times thought 'ooh Little Caesar's has $5 pizzas' - but you get what you pay for. So you end up paying nearly 20$ anyway because you upgrade to one with a few veggies on it, plus tax, and you need 2 because they are thin tiny things. That's an expensive dinner when in 20 minutes you can cook up a simple whole wheat pasta with tomato sauce.
lover of all life
Posted on: 09/15/2010 22:21
this is a great thread that raises great points.
it should be a treat for the family to come together and eat dinner...everyday.
when i was young, every year my mother would make me and my sisters work the garden with her. the garden was huge and contained everything. it took us at least two days a week all summer long for hours those days to pull the weeds and water and of course the initial planting. we would complain about it all the time but while we were in the garden it was our girls time to chat and gossip about our lives and it was great.
my husband and i have carried on the tradition between the two of us and hope that one day our kids will also enjoy eating together the food that we grow and cook together.
jon71
Posted on: 09/17/2010 06:10
I work second shift so we only eat together on my two days off each week. I like to make something, partly because I get tired of fast food and partly because I enjoy cooking when I have the time and energy (not often at all). My daughter is getting interested in cooking so my wife and I both let her do little things to help and she really enjoys that. On Sunday I made homemade fried chicken with biscuits and gravy. She would batter the chicken and put it into the skillet until the cooking oil got a little too active for her comfort.
Unfotunately we do have the tv. on when we eat, something we never did growing up and wasn't done in my wife's family either. Part of the reason is our place is small we decided there wasn't enough room to use the kitchen table to sit around and eat. It's kept in the kitchen and has stuff piled on it.
Birthstone
Posted on: 09/24/2010 09:18
well, Jon, as long as the tv is on for good reason - choose a show, or part of a movie you all want to watch - then it can be a fun time of laughing or learning together. The commercials are probably the biggest trouble with cable, so videos make more sense to me, but its all how you use it. But the cooking together is wonderful!!!
And don't you find sometimes the peel peel peel, chop chop chop, is soothing and relaxing - seems like the last thing you want to do, but as you get into it, with some music on and your family, it works to wind you down?