muskoka - thank you for that post.   Whenever I think of the problems of growing old, I give thanks that I am not a teenager.  

Maybe thinking about this rap, hearing it and reading it again (I found it difficult to do both) will help me to understand my granddaughter. 

Maybe reminding ourselves what teenagers go through might help us to save a life someday for what teen hasn't thought at some time about ending it all?   I know I did.  I know my younger sister did.  And I know that one of my children's friends not only thought about it, but did it.   Tragic.

Seeler, I agree. 

So often adults forget what it was like.  Those moments in their early years that felt like "It was the best of times. It was the end of times"  When that friend, boy or girl, was your friend or broke your heart.  Everything is magnified, the good and the bad, and when its bad the world seems like it is going to end.

My youth was better than most but I only know that now. 

At the time I remember feeling totally on my own - no one else had ever gone through what I was going through; not even my peers who I now know felt the same.  And parents, teachers, grandparents:  'Oh please, there is no way any adult ever went through this and lived'.

We adults are so glad we got through it alive, in one piece, a reasonably sane person that we block out the intensity of those youthful emotions and answer our children truthfully when we say 'don't worry, it will get better.  This is not the end of the world'.

But at that moment in time, to that individual young person, the loss of a teddy bear, the loss of a friend, the failure of a test, is the end of their world.  Every failure they experience, every win they achieve is a loss of their childhood and a moment that propels them toward adulthood.  They feel that; they know their world is constantly changing for better or worse.

As adults we have to remember those moments where we felt so totally alone so that we can recognize them in our children.  So we can share those best of times and hold on to each other through the end of times.  So both parent and child can see it really is not the end of the world just another beginning.

LB

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If my memory serves me correctly I made it a point to void and forget some things.
Probably to keep from being embarrassed.
Never meant to upset or give grief to my parents.
Kept my secrets…hid my talents…
in my head, never under the mattress.

      Sage Francis, The Best of Times

i LOVE this lb.  thanks so much for sharing.  i will listen to this often as a reminder of what it was like for me as i raise my three through their growing pains.

Thanks LB . . . enjoyed it very much. 

A reminder of my own youth gone by . . . a reminder that youth and teens are not "mini-adults" - they are teens . . . and they need a lot of love, help, guidance, suppport . . . and they need truth (liked the part about the beer and spicy food ).

Love it! 

Brought back many memories! I remembered padding my sister's bra (that I borrowed) with Kleenex in grade 6, and the day the Kleenex fell out on the floor. I thought I was going to die! Seems funny now, but I was mortified.

Sorry, waterfall, to get a chuckle at your expense - but that is kinda funny .  And do you think anyone other than yourself remembers that incident?

Don't worry about the chuckle, I had a good one just remembering too. I have a friend that still remembers many many such incidences. Such as the time we fell to the ground in grade nine laughing our heads off until we peed onto the pure white snow while our classmates walked by. Passing notes to each other in class, only to have the teacher read them aloud in class to embarass us. Forging my Dad's signature(many times) so I could have many a day off from school to go to the beach with my friends, until one day I was called in to the principals office only to find my father standing there! Oh I could go on.....but I won't.

I remember how good it felt to find out from John Lennon's song, that I wasn't alone, every thought or feeling I had had been had before by someone else. Really made me feel connected and it softened the blow of every hurt.

I also easily recall how intense everything was, perhaps because I have continued to listen to many of the same musicians I did when I was a teen, and kept so much, my diaries, my sketchbooks, old tapes. I want to be prepared when my son becomes a teen, I want to understand him. I've also spent a lot of time trying to psycho-analyse myself, to understand everything, and thence other people. I also never wanted to forget what I learned. And I didn't want those emotions to become meaningless, like the girl in Breakfast Club says, "When you grow up, your spirit dies".

A lot of that old stuff surfaces from time to time, and I wonder where they are now, and how they felt, if they remember me... My high school re-union is next year. It is allready in the planning stages. I can hardly wait to see who comes, and if I'll even recognize them!

Depeche Mode wrote several songs about the trials and tribulations of being a teen, and when I hear them, I remember. There's "Little 15", and "Policy of Truth" where I learned it was better not to tell Mom and Dad some things, and (I heard it from my friends about) "The Things You Said".

I also clearly remember the feeling of my inner child dying. I mourned for that loss, I wore a lot of black for a while, and was interested in death. Oh there I go! Self analysing again!

I like the bedroom door coffin motif. I definatley get that. I stuck to my room a lot too, listening to my saviours: my favorite bands. They really spoke to me. And those voices have become tatooed on my heart and soul. Spirit guides, really. I sometimes weep when I hear them, even now.

The clip is like a gentler version of a song by Suicidal Tendancies, which also talked about being a messed up teenager. I thought it was funny at the time, because I sympathised to an extent, now it's fairly scarey stuff. I don't think anyone here would like to listen to it, it's pretty raucous, but we listened to this kind of stuff when I was 17.

And I love this song still. It really captures how my best friend and I felt.

OK, that was a big post. This stuff means a lot.

I have that Suicidal Tendancies song on an old tape, and the song that follows it is this one, a song that gave me great hope and comfort, and I know that teens today have their own rescue songs. Groups that make songs like this do perhaps more than they know for struggling young people. It is important work they do.

Faith in ths respect, for me, was hope, trust that it would be ok.

Anybody have any thoughts on what I said?

Elanorgold, I certainly did and too many to write before my mad dash to work.

The one that comes quickly to mind is that each generation will find its solace in its own expression.  The message is universal but the medium will differ.  I believe some adults forget this and try to give to their children their own mediums.

I remember as a teenager that the idea of "classical" music was for "old people".  So I didn't listen to it.  It wasn't until I was an adult and discovered that my favourite musicians were all classically trained and there were classical themes throughout their music - even Iron Maiden who I particularly enjoyed in my dark teen angst.  One of my teenage favourites, and still is, was In the Mood by Glenn Miller.  I had discovered a bunch of old 78s in a dust bin and this became a constant piece played.

I believe that the best thing we can give to our children is the ability of discovery.  To constantly encourage that search for new things particularly in the esoteric of the Arts; music, literature, theater and painting.  We are becoming a society that diminishes the importance of such endeavors and in doing so we rob our children of opportunities.  We deny them the joy of discovery, their own defining moments and thus their potential to be who they are.

LB

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You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

      Plato (428-348 BC)

Classical was uncool when I was in school too. We listened to it, but we didn't tell anyone! So true about the differing medium and the freedom to discover.

Culture changes so fast now, there is a disconnect between parents and their kids, especially if they have kids later in life. I think our brains are wired for less rapid change, where we would be able to give our mediums to our kids, and help them along even. Now, not so much.

Elanorgold, I think it is great that you have that stuff and have your finger on that pulse you once had, that "it" is still alive for you.

Remember those adults who seemed to know what it was to be a teen? That it seemed they "got it", understood, had compassion, empathy.... not the ones who bought beer or never grew up themselves but the ones we could confide in, turn to....

Maybe they kept diaries, listened to the songs of their youth... just remembered...

I recall teen angst... I also recall all the unwise moves... and hopefully I can be one of those adults...

Thanks SG. Yes, I too wish to be one of those adults. Like my graphic arts teacher in high school, and my uncle. : )

I still remember my distaste for the ungrown up adult - although I confess I never turned down their beer ;-)

Perhaps it was because I was very unhappy as a teen and I wanted to change.  The idea of being stuck in perpetual adolescence was far more terrifying than growing up.  I was impatient for change.

The adults I admired, and still admire, were those who never tried to smash me into a square hole.  They didn't demand my conformity and persisted in encouraging me to discover where I was going.  They never told me it would be easy, they readily informed it would be a struggle but they constantly reassured me that I could survive.

I had faith in those people because they had always been honest.  They were living examples of what they preached.  If they had faith in me and I had faith in them then I could find the patience for my journey.

One of the defining moments of my life was as a pre-teen and my grade 8 graduation.  My favourite teacher, a no nonsense old school man, said to my mother and I "I have no doubt LB will succeed.  I just hope she doesn't pursue a criminal career"

Out of profound respect for him, I didn't

L - Round Peg - B

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Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels.
The troublemakers. The round
pegs in the square holes - the
ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules and
they have no respect for
the status quo. You can praise
them, disagree with them,
quote them, disbelieve them,
glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing that you
can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.

        Jack Kerouac

My Graphics teacher was honest like that. True to himself, honest with us. His spirit hadn't died, and he was a happy man. We all liked him. He was a bit of a rebel himself, no square peg he. That's largely why we liked him, he also, like your admired adults LB, encouraged us to discover and express our own voices. My grade 9 English teacher was like that too. He showed confidence in me and my work. Really boosted my self confidence. He also reconed the boy I had a crush on wasn't good enough for me. I'm sure that had a positive effect in the end.

Your choice of quote also has personal, high school, significance to me.