Hi Amanda welcome to WonderCafe. There are many ideas about homeschooling here and I am sure everybody will hop a board to talk about it with you.

Hi there Amanda,

I chose not to homeschool, but did wistfully read about it.  My daughter who is now 15 needs more structure & more varied teachers than managing just with me.  My son would have been fine at home, but he's fine at school too.

I think that it might be more trouble than its worth in many cases, but I still think that it could be wonderful as a family too.  I don't think socialization is a worry for homeschoolers if you're connected to various groups like karate class and church and Scouts.  Besides, who thinks its best for kids to be forever clumped with their own peers???!!!  yikes.

For all the scary stories at school, there are 100 wonderful ones.  They learn to put up with and even enjoy differences.  They learn to manage different teaching styles and they have resources we can't ever match at home.  I would have enjoyed the experience of homeschooling, but I don't feel like we've been let down by public schools.

Enjoy your wee little one!!   Give him tons of snuggles and walk slowly so he can make sense of his world.  Get to know other parents with kids his age, and read lots about homeschooling & child dev.  (Barbara Coloroso - Kids are Worth it!!).  By the time he's 3 and a half, you'll be more comfortable with this stuff.  

By the way - one very cool preschool I read about was in Britain, and the kids spent 90% of their time outdoors, even on cold or rainy days.  And they learned about trees and puddles and resilience, and being active, and loving nature.  I wish I'd sent my kids there.

 Hello amanda_p and welcome to WonderCafe,

I'm undecided.

I think it would depend on the why (why you think that home-schooling is preferable to the public education system) and the who (who is going to be taking the responsibility to teach according to the regional curriculum you will have to meet.

Grace and peace to you.

John

Unless I had a very good reason to, I wouldn't recommend homeschooling.  I didn't choose it for my children, nor did my daughter consider it for my grandchildren.  They are in public school. 

If I were considering it I would first ask if I or my spouse were qualified to teach all subjects, at whatever level the child was.  (I don't think I'm very much up on math and science beyond the basic level.)  I would also consider if we had the personality and patience to teach.  And if I had the time to devote to it. 

I would next ask how I was going to handle socialization - finding other children for my kids to relate to, play with, argue with - learn sharing and taking turns, and working together and compromise - learning to stand in line, to wait for attention, to compete with equals (and sometimes when things are not equal).  Learning to work for and get along with a teacher that you don't like very much - and with kids who are pushy, or sneaky, or shy, or bullying.    And how to make sure my kid had the opportunity to make friends, to get invited to birthday parties, to sleep-overs.

I would want to know how my kid was going to learn to navigate this world on his own, without a parent looking over his shoulder.  Take the school bus - take the city bus - go to the mall with a friend - get together with a bunch of kids and go sliding after school - look after his lunch each day, and his possessions on a class trip. 

And I would want to be very familiar with the curriculum I was choosing.  I believe that a lot of times people choose home schooling because they want their child taught religious values - but I would want to be sure those religious values were the same as my own - liberal and open-minded.   And I would want to be sure that they were learning math, science, economics, politics, so that they would understand and be able to make their way in the secular world. 

I would be very careful about homeschooling. 

I wouldn't recommend  home schooling. Some parents choose it because they have been taken in by a well-financed campaign to build distrust of public schools and their teachers. This is a campaigned funded by very rich people who in the long run want to privatize education for t heir profit.

Kids do well in school for reasons that have nothing to do with the school or the teacher. They do well because they have parents who care, parents who have some intellectual and cultural interests of their own besides going to football games to drink beer out of plastic cups. 

The parents' role is to let the child understand that reading is simply something which their kind of people do - and to engage the child in serious disucussion so that the child understands that there is such a thing.Sets bounds on their TV and computer time. Let them grow up with encouragement of interests they show, and with a sense they can set any goal they wish.

When kids fail in public school, it is usually the failure of the parent, not of the teacher.

interesting comment. As always.

Thanks for all your responces.  Where I live there is a lot of peer pressure about certin things like drugs and bulling.  I know I am overprotected of my son right now, but as I have been told by a lot of parents they were the same way with their first child. Bithstone, I image that things will change as he grows up and by the time he is old enough to go to school I may want him in the public school system.  It is still years away yet, I just wanted to get some peoples opions.

To be honest I wasn't expecting some of the responces in a foarm such as this, but as I said I am new here.

I would take bullying very seriously.I've seen destroy kids for the rest of their lives. If I were to find it happening at school, I would put one hell of a lot of pressure on the school board. And if they wouldn't act, I would lay criiminal charges against the bullies.

As for drugs, good parenting can beat peer pressure of that sort.

Greetings amanda_p!  It's great to meet you here on Wondercafe.  Thanks for posting your topic about homeschooling.

An 8 month old baby boy - how blessed you are!  Many whose children are grown will tell you to enjoy every moment with your precious son, because before you know it you will be going to his high school (or hosting if you home school through til the end) graduation.

I never home schooled my children but there were several families in my community who did chose to do so.  And, as far as I could tell, they turned out okay.  The parents I knew did a lot of extra things to ensure that their children were socialized . . . church, bowling, hockey, skating, community choirs, various groups, etc.

You have a bit of time before needing to make this decision, a lot can change in your life and where you live before your son is in school.  It is good that you are seeking opinions of others.  Most importantly, research it to the fullest when it is time, and make the decision with as much information as you can.

Hi amanda_p  - a warm welcome to wondercafe.  You will find a whole range of opinions here - as in real life  ... as time goes on, you'll begin to sort out what seems relevant and what to skim.  I know it can sometimes be a bit surprising at first tho!   Nice to have new moms in the crowd - there are a number here.  I look forward to reading more of your posts.

My own kids are grown up now (sigh) - and both went to public schools in Ontario.  My husband was a teacher (now retired) in the public school system.  We liked their schools & they were exposed  to a wide diversity of people - differing values, cultures, languages, socio-economic class,  etc. - which provided rich opportunities for them in their learning and development as people. 

There can be lots of pros & cons to homeschooling.  In large urban centres there are often homeschooling groups that meet regularly for 'field trips', sports, group activities etc. It's great for some families, not for others.

Sounds like you're going to be a wonderfully thoughtful parent.  Don't let the media get you feeling to worried.  As other said - lots of snuggles, go slow, have fun, learning will take care of itself for a few years - you don't have to really work at it!  Babies are such remarkable sponges!

Welcome to the cafe,

I know of one family that home school here in Toronto.  I know them because their children also dance at the ballet school my child does.  That is their "school"  the children socialilze with others there and are really lovely kids.  BUt I think that is because they have extremely lovely parents.

Their mother does the homeschooling.  SHe tells me that after breakfast she sits down in a one room school idea and teaches each of her 4 kids.  They range in age from 5, 7, 9,11.

I am unaware of what her academic credentials are for teaching and how long the kids will do this.  I do know that they take the standardized tests as they come along ( or at least some sort of provincial tests.)

AS new parents I think it important to move to an area where you are comfortable with your kids going to school>  Houses in neighbourhoods in Toronto that have well respected elementary schools are hot commodities.  And there are many , many great schools.  I woudl want to choose a home where my kids could walk to school and home for lunch if I didn't work.  Where the school isn't too huge, where the parents are involved in helping out, where there is ample out door play areas, where the school has "extras"  instrumental music, out door ed, wilderness trips, art, .......

I would also seriously look at what the private schools in your area are like.  Many are great, you can check them out too.  Many are very expensive but not all.  THough some may have programs that stress things you don't want.  All schools have to meet the Provincial guidelines.

It's a good time to start planning.  I know there is a homeschooling organization that parents get material from and liase.

My kids attended both private and public schools.  If I had to do it again, I woudl choose the same.

There are a lot of factors to consider. Are either you or your husband trained as educators? I think in limited circumstances parents can put forth the time and effort to benefit a child with homeschooling, but I think that tends to be the exception rather than the rule. At least here in Tennesse it seems that most people who take that route are fundies who do it because James Dobson or some other clown told them they should. These are parents with minimal education themselves basically guaranteeing that their kids never learn anything. Having said that positive examples do exist, but it obviously requires more time and effort to make happen.

the above is a good reminder....

Should you home treat your child who has broken his leg?

^^ That depends not just on one's own medical capabilities, but also on the relative quality of the local public medical facilities.

Homeschooling-The school board I work for offers that optin-they call it home-based schooling-in recognition that much learning happens in places other than home.

I know lots of parents who have home-schooled for a variety of reasons. Some home schooled-some unschooled, some did a blended program.

It depends on why and for how long and what else is going on.You may have more children. You may wish to work. (Heaven forbid your marriage may end!)

2 of my 3 kids are graduates of grade 12 public education. 3rd child is in grade 10 public school.

Most of the homeschoolers I know did attend regular high school but not all.

You have a few years ahead of you  to explore options.

I applaud your consideration for your child's future.  Long before our children were born, we discussed how we wanted to raise and educate them.  I truly believe every parent wants what is best for their child.  I also believe learning is a lifelong process.  

We are the parents of three lovely children, the eldest being 13.  None of our children have ever gone to school.  We, I am very proud to say, are a homeschooling family.  The reasons for following this path are too many to list.  Homeschooling is purely a loving extension of parenting.   It provides the ultimate form of education where a child's needs and growth - mental, physical, and spiritual can be individually met in an environment of love.  The options of educating and learning are without limits.  There is an incredible array of highly successful homeschooling parents that have raised and educated children who became leaders and professionals, and most importantly well-balanced people.

Parents often question their ability to educate their own children.  It is as simple as loving them.  There is an abundant choice of homeschool curriculum, how to books, and groups.  Everyone finds a path that works for them.  One of the best ways to start is by reading up on homeschooling and openly discussing it with friends that do.  All the best in this very important decision.       

Our responsibility to our children includes making these tough decisions.  It seems positive to me that you are already thinking about your baby's education.

I seriously wanted to homeschool my kids but eventually sent them to public schools.  One child had ADHD and I realised that my patience just wasn't strong enough to deal with him wiithout a break for the rest of his childhood.  It would have been very challenging for the others to settle down to do school work too.

Possibly you will want to review your own educational levels - which parent is strong in which areas?  What is available locally to supplement your own knowledge?  If neither of you have excellent skills in reading, writing, spelling and math maybe homeschooling may not be a wise choice. Supplementing is easier for music, physics, chemisty.

For now - enjoy your baby, keep thinking realsitically, observe other parents with there children.

A girl in my church was home schooled for awhile.  The family had moved early in her final year of elementary school, and she hated being the new girl in her class.  So her parents had a talk with her teacher, with her, and with themselves and decided that they could and would give it a try, with the understanding that the following year she would go back to the public system for middle school and high school. 

Her mother was able to arrange her schedule to be home mornings when she taught her language skills (reading, grammar and composition, French), Social Studies, Art and Music.  At noon her father came home and taught her math and science.  Then she walked over to the elementary school and picked up her little sister who was having no problem adjusting to grade two.  Evenings she took swimming.  She attended the church junior choir, youth group and Sunday School. 

The first week or so were difficult..  "I've finished my essay."  "That's unacceptable - poor penmanship, lack of effort.  Do it over."   "My old teacher would have accepted it."   "Would she?  But I'm your teacher now, and I know that's not your best effort.  Do it over."

She found out that home schooling was no walk in the park.  Her parent/teachers demanded the best. 

Oh, incidently her mother was a professor in the Law Department at the local university, having majored in History and English literature at the undergraduate level.  Her father was a professor in the Math/Science department at the same university.

They had the skills, they could arrange the time, they knew their child, and they agreed that she had a good reason for wanting to be homeschooled.   Not everybody is so fortunate.

Welcome to the cafe, Amanda.  I think it's important to consider the factor of mom's over protective instinct.  We really can't help it and it's good for children to learn that there are difficult, unfair, untrustworthy, etc. people in the world.  It's a healthy time to learn this when they are young and can adjust with parents helping them at home. 

I don't disapprove of home-schooling but I approve of letting them go in small bits

Children are not going to grow up in a world characterized by loving and caring. They have to learn, pretty much on their own,  how to deal with that.

Few childern have parents who have the education to teach.

Relatively few parents really give a damn. They would rather send a child to school, then blame the beacher for any problems. Those who are conducting a campaign to destroy public education know that well. that's why their campaign concentrates on the teacher and the school as the source of educational problems.

I note that one child  in this thread was sent to school because the ADHD problem was too much for a mother to handle. I have every sympathy for that situation. So the child was handed to a teacher who has to deal with that child and and other 20 or so - at least a few of whom will have their own ADHD problems.

And then we'll blame the teachers.

Welcome to WC.  I considered homeschooling when my son was young.  Of course in his case there were some special needs to consider.  He is on the Autism spectrum.  Really high functioning but still different.  My only consideration was will he be picked on.  In the end I sent him to school with a promise to myself that I would yank him at the first sign of trouble.  I also became the class parent and ultimate school volunteer.  I was on every field trip, read with the class at least once a week, helped with bulletin boards, anything the teacher and general school needed to help them and to know them.  I think I was being clingy at the time, but looking back it was a nice compromise.  When you get to speak with your childs teacher every day, when you are in their classroom every week, you get to know the players and you are a part of the team.  If you have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom, or at least to work limited hours like I did there might be a middle ground between releasing him to the system and keeping him at home.  I also totally agree with finding the right school.  I interviewed with our catchment school before kindergarten and after hearing that they ran the school in an intercity model, had limited funding for an overwhelming number of special needs kids, and almost no parental support we moved.  We researched neighbourhoods and found the district with the best ratio for meeting our son's needs and a school with an active involved and large by % parents group.  Almost every class has at least 2 or 3 parents regularly helping out.  My son has had a few bumps along the way, we even pulled him for 3 weeks in grade 6 when some bullying issues started up,  but over all he has benefitted more from being in the public school system than he has hurt from it.  

Graeme - you wrote -

"I note that one child  in this thread was sent to school because the ADHD problem was too much for a mother to handle. I have every sympathy for that situation. So the child was handed to a teacher who has to deal with that child and and other 20 or so - at least a few of whom will have their own ADHD problems.

And then we'll blame the teachers."

I think you may be referring to MY kid with these words.  I do so wish that you didn't jump to faulty conclusions.   Our relationship with the teachers were excellent - at no point did we blame them for anything.  We spent some time discussing the options for handling problems as they arose though.  Believe me, rearing or teaching a child with  ADHD is very challenging.

Beshpin - these words of yours - "I know people who were homeschooled as children and are now socially stunted creeps"  made me smile.  I know people who attended public schools and could probably be described as 'socially stunted creeps' - but not by me.  I also know some people who attended very expensive private schools and could now be described in your words.

Oh, I'm sorry if I gave the impression of accusing you of any such thing. I certainly wasn't. I have taught children with ADHD, and I can well imagine the challenge it is to a parent. If anything, my criticism was of governments who don't vote nearly enough funding for schools to deal with these cases.

I referred to a tendency of the general public to blame teachers - and it was at the end of the note, purposely at a distance from my opening comments. The "we" meant "we in general - not you at all. And that we would have included me at one time. That tendency has been skilfully exploited by those who want to destroy our public schools.

I am dealiing with a case now that I find heart-breaking. In this case, the boy is suffering from parents who just don't care. The school really doesn't have the resources to deal with it.The boy is drifting into a life of crime. If I report him to social services, they'll just make it worse. I'm trying to find a way to help.

Your child will be okay in the long run. He/she has teachers who know what theyre doing - and a loving mother who works with the teachers. I don't doubt it's going to be hard (had a bit of a problem in that line with my sons - who also came through fine.)  This other kid - I'm really just hoping I can do something to make an impact on him years from now when he's in deeper trouble.

Can't say I totally agree with you Beshpin.  Many homeschooled kids get plenty of social experience.

I'm more inclined to think that some children are naturally more socially inept then others.  Just as some kids bounce back from all sorts of negative experiences and pour on the charm to all they meet.

Beshpin I do agree with you that interpersonal skills are very important in life.  I also agree with what kaythecurler has written above - the manner of schooling isn't necessarily in a causal relationship with one's social aptitude.   Nature, nurture ... all that usual stuff counts.   Any parents I know who have homeschooled have been very conscientous about ensuring their kids have lots of social interactions. 

social ineptness, for which my wife says I am notorious, is learned, largely at home. All the kids I grew up with hwere socially inept. It comes with being poor. You find marked changes as you go up the social scale. You also find changes according to religious groups.  It's the same as all other kinds of learning.

That is true, Jon, with respect to the goal of getting the point across.

With respect to the goal of offending others and socially isolating one's self, it is indeed nessessary to be a "complete @$$hole" in the delivery.

Besh...a new user asks for input as she is considering home-schooling her son and you respond that he will be a socially stunted creep.  You consider that as respecting her?  lordluvaduck. 

well,  in fairness, we have to consdier the insight of Beshpin into socially stunted creeps.

Were you homeschooled, Bsshpin?

I'm struggling a bit here - could you maybe explain what difference you see between "feel free to speak my mind instead of veiling my thoughts behind cushy niceties and lip-service" and sounding like a "socially stunted creep"?.

Hi Amanda_p,

I am a mom to two girls (ages 5.5 and 4), and a little boy (now 9 months).  I am currently homeschooling my 5.5 year old through grade one.  And I plan on continuing on.  As you can see here, there are a lot of opinions and ideas about homeschooling and how it affects social and emotional development of children.  I would be very  happy to share my thoughts and reasons and what I've learned about homeschooling from the research we have done.  Please send me a message if you are interested in chatting! 

Cheers,

Agnieszka

Ps. Here is a funny look at some of the opinions and misconceived ideas about homeschooling, complied by some homeschooled teens (from a blog on line, address can be provided):

Do your parents make you homeschool?
*Yes, they do. In my heart of hearts, I really *want* to spend 6 hours a day in a stuffy classroom filled with stupid people, listening to a rude and irrational teacher rant incessantly.

Do you have any friends?
*No, I'm a misanthrope sociopath who would rather die a thousand deaths than be socialized normally.

How do you meet people?
*I have found that painting myself blue and running through the streets screaming is a very effective way to meet people.

Do you get graded?
*Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.

How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you?
*I visit the library and pick books at random. Those books then become my curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied alternative physics, macamre, tomato growing, and plot flaws in Star Trek the Next Generation episodes.

How do you remember to work without a teacher nagging you?
*I bribe myself. Whenever I finish a homework assignment, I give myself a gold star or a cookie.

Is homeschooling legal?
*No. In fact, you could even be arrested for aiding and abbeting a criminal just by talking to me! Or .......
*Yes. The government wants as many of us smartaleck, self motivating brats out of their high schools as possible.

Do you like homeschooling?
*Not particularly. I tolerate homeschooling only because the alternative is so horrendous.

Are you going to homeschool your kids?
*Certainly! In fact, my children will undergo an accelerated education, so that they are ready for college classes by the age of 10.

You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh?
*Actually, my intelligence level is below normal. I have simply aquired an immense vocabulary through memorization, which often fools humans into believing that I am more intelligent than I actually am.

nor sure what those comments say about home schooling. They're mostly a spewing of hatred at teachers and schools they have never seen. Where did one kid get the idea that teachers are stupid and lazy?

Hint - the only people they are regularly in contact with are their parents. I'd be willing to bet all those kids are growoing up in neoconservative homes, and are fairly well off.

Maybe you ought to read the comments again, and possibly, if you are at all capable of such a feat, read them with something called an open mind.  And a bit of a sense of humour wouldn't hurt...

Anyway, that might be too much to ask...  I can see from your previous posts that you have an especially tender spot around public education.  So, I'll spare you the pain of facing reality - that many liberal and left-of-center-minded, active members of their communities-at-large, average income earning families (are you following this??) are choosing to home educate their children for a large variety or reasons - and I'll leave it at that.  If you are willing to bet that "those kids" one thing or another, that is probably only because you have done absolutely zip, zilch, zero to actually find out where "those kids" are growing up, or how, of how much their parents' income is.  But hey, jump to as many conclusions and make as many uneducated assumptions as you please... it only harms you and the people who naively talk to you... a mistake I won't be seen making again.

1. I have commented on the tone of the comments. Having an open mind and a sense of humour has noting to do with it.

2. You don't know the meaning of either liberal or left wing.

3. I have statistics - ones you haven't ever looked for, I guess, on why children fail and why some succeed in school.  These are statistics from all over the world. They are collected by reputable scholars and government sources. They show the major factor in a child's educational success is neither the school nor the teacher. It is the parent. Income is most important, followed by parental example. (Parents don't read? Children will do badly in reading.

Middle class children do well in home schooling? If might have something to do with not being poor. It is certainly something to do with parent motivation. Does the home study imake the child learn more than public schooling? I have no idea. I have never seen any serious statistics on this.

If the parent is educated, intellectually active, and sufficiently devoted, then I guess it would work. If the parent is simply a person with social problems who hates schools and teachers, then it probably won't. If the parent is one who has an arrogant assessment of  his/her abilities, it might be disaster.

4. As for jumping to conclusions I was probably studying this subject since before you were born - and I h ave more education and training and experience and research  in it than you will ever have.

5. Try to learn the meanings of simple words. Skip the adolescent sarcasm. (That means grow up.) Otherwise, you might do some real damage as a  home schooler.

I'm sorry, did I give you the impression I wanted to hear from you?  That was truly not intended. I have much better things to do - like learning and studying with my kids - than to listen to some self-important over-stuffed old fart preach down at me from his high horse like I'm some idiot... that's what public schools are for.

Don't choke on your turkey!

Cheers

Oops! I meant, please DO choke on your turkey... and save us all the trouble of trying to ignore you in the future.

Ouch.  Do public schools really deserve that?  

Good question, Diana... I take it you don't agree.  I'd love to hear your arguments/ideas on the topic. 

One problem is that people are so defensive it's almost impossible to have an actual conversation about public education before the sparks  or personal insults (perhaps you read the previous poster's polite little assessment of who I am and what I know?) start flying.

Personally, I am of the humble but strongly held opinion that the prominent approach toward the kids and youth in the school system has been and continues that of disrespect and disinterest about what the kids themselves already know and think and are interested in... and that's just the tip of the iceberg.  The general theme is that of condescension, much like what the previous poster examplified. 

Cheers

Ah, yes... I wondered when Youtube videos would show up!

Anyway, it's great fun chatting with you all highly open-minded folks...

Actually, I have no problem with those who choose to homeschool.  A friend of ours from church homeschools her children. I teach drums at a music studio where I have 3 students who are homeschooled. they are well adjusted, socially fine kids. The right to homeschool your children is a exactly that, a right. If one is not happy with public education and cannot afford private schools then homeschool is the way to go. I support homeschooling if that is the parents choice......and I am a certified teacher.

By the way. The youtube video I posted was by Christian comedian Tim Hawkins, who himself was homeschooled.

Okay, Tyson.  Here is something a bit more positive:

Agnieszka wrote:

Okay, Tyson.  Here is something a bit more positive:

Gret video and a very smart kid. But to be fair, Tim Hawkins wasn't making fun of homeschool families or being negative. I believe his own kids are homeschooled. Tim was merely pointing out the stereotypes that people place on such families in a satirical manner.

Oh, interesting.  But home education is sooo much more than an option for those who can't afford private schools!  A Cadillac might cost more than a Corolla... but it's still just a car. 

Okay then.  I was kind of going for the same effect with the list of answers to annoying homeschooling questions... and that got twisted really quick. 

I agree. There are many reasons why parents would choose to homeschool their children. And there are just as many benefits.

As one who holds to a constructivist philosophy, I would, for the most part, agree with that assessment.

thank you for making it so clear what you are.

Just returning the favour.  It wasn't hard to decipher what you are... but it sure is hard to believe you're supposed to an elder... somehow wiser and more mature.  Disappointing.