Are you jealous of what other people have and what they are able to do but more personally are you jealous of what your children have or the life style they lead?
just wondering after reading parenting threads in the last week or so.
Happy Retiree
Posted on: 08/20/2011 18:46
No, I am not jealous of my children. When we graduated from university you could be pretty sure of getting a full time position. You saved some money and could afford a house. Life was secure. The kids now have a hard time finding work and often it's just temporary and housing costs are ridiculous. This may be the first generation not to do better than their parents' generation.
seeler
Posted on: 08/22/2011 16:55
I pretty much echo some of what Happy Retiree said. When I finished high school with a commercial diploma and a typing speed of 40 wpm (on an Underwood manual typewriter), I never doubted that I would find a job. When I went alone to Montreal a couple of months later, a seventeen year old from back woods NB, I never doubted my ability to find job and take care of myself. I thought I was on the road to success when I was earning $35 a week and living in a single room. Life seemed to offer all sorts of opportunities. And if I could have afforded to attend university - it was my understanding that employers came looking for graduates, not the other way around.
While my daughter is better educated than I was (BA and post graduate course in computers, she also works longer hours and a more demanding job in an uncertain job market. The IT industry is uncertain. And it doesn't offer a pension plan.
Yes, she started off further up the ladder than I did - I'm glad that Seelerman and I were able to offer her opportunities that we didn't have. But I don't envy her living and working in today's world. Global crisis, after global crisis (war, famine, earthquake, global warming) make our worries about the cold war seem minor. There was a sense of optimism in the 1950s and 60s that I haven't seen in a long time.
As for my grandchildren - I'm glad to see them with health and dental care that I never had, a nice home, good schools and good friends. I'm glad to see granddaughter in dance classes, and grandson taking ti-quan-do. But I fear for them. I think that they have very high expectations that I'm afraid they won't see fulfilled in a generation that will grown up to have less than their parents did - or at least no more. The onwards and upwards has slowed down and may be reversing.
No, I don't think I envy my children or grandchildren. Sometimes I pity them that they don't have the freedom I had.
chemgal
Posted on: 08/22/2011 18:15
Up to this point, as a student, my lifestyle has been better than my parents. It's not completely financial either. My parents were done school at a younger age though, and I'm not sure what my job prospects will be when I graduate. It will also be a little more difficult to get a job, because I'll want to work in the same city (or at least area) as my husband.
I think my mom would have liked some of the opportunities that I had. Her life choices still would have been very different than mine. Right now, I don't want a baby, let alone 2 toddlers! I don't think she's jealous of my lifestyle.
Birthstone
Posted on: 08/24/2011 07:12
My mom should have been a doctor, but it wasn't an option for her at the time, and it was still a big big issue if a student nurse was getting married even. But I dont' get the sense that she pined for more than what she had. And she did get a university education and she was able to be at home with kids for several years. They aren't wealthy, but I think they are ok with that.
My daughter has a million options, and I don't know what it will look like. Her own grades have narrowed the options because University is not attainable at this point. And she's excited by a prospect of a baking apprenticeship. But she doesn't see the value in a broader education yet - like a culinary college or the marketing diploma that might boost her chances in her other interest, graphic design.
She's still dealing with a system that is SUPER ENCOURAGING!! without having any sense of the pitfalls. She isn't preparing to give herself a solid grounding against poverty, just looking to do something interesting.
But even with my degree, I was the same. I dont' know that adult fears can ever be adequately taught without experience.
I'm not jealous, except of those who seemed prescient about their goals and opportunities. And yet, I had my kids early rather than building a career, and now at 40 (my birthday was 2 days ago!) I have 2 great teens and lots of freedom many others don't have. So jealousy isn't something I waste any time on.
Comments
crazyheart
Posted on: 08/20/2011 10:32
just wondering after reading parenting threads in the last week or so.
Happy Retiree
Posted on: 08/20/2011 18:46
No, I am not jealous of my children. When we graduated from university you could be pretty sure of getting a full time position. You saved some money and could afford a house. Life was secure. The kids now have a hard time finding work and often it's just temporary and housing costs are ridiculous. This may be the first generation not to do better than their parents' generation.
seeler
Posted on: 08/22/2011 16:55
I pretty much echo some of what Happy Retiree said. When I finished high school with a commercial diploma and a typing speed of 40 wpm (on an Underwood manual typewriter), I never doubted that I would find a job. When I went alone to Montreal a couple of months later, a seventeen year old from back woods NB, I never doubted my ability to find job and take care of myself. I thought I was on the road to success when I was earning $35 a week and living in a single room. Life seemed to offer all sorts of opportunities. And if I could have afforded to attend university - it was my understanding that employers came looking for graduates, not the other way around.
While my daughter is better educated than I was (BA and post graduate course in computers, she also works longer hours and a more demanding job in an uncertain job market. The IT industry is uncertain. And it doesn't offer a pension plan.
Yes, she started off further up the ladder than I did - I'm glad that Seelerman and I were able to offer her opportunities that we didn't have. But I don't envy her living and working in today's world. Global crisis, after global crisis (war, famine, earthquake, global warming) make our worries about the cold war seem minor. There was a sense of optimism in the 1950s and 60s that I haven't seen in a long time.
As for my grandchildren - I'm glad to see them with health and dental care that I never had, a nice home, good schools and good friends. I'm glad to see granddaughter in dance classes, and grandson taking ti-quan-do. But I fear for them. I think that they have very high expectations that I'm afraid they won't see fulfilled in a generation that will grown up to have less than their parents did - or at least no more. The onwards and upwards has slowed down and may be reversing.
No, I don't think I envy my children or grandchildren. Sometimes I pity them that they don't have the freedom I had.
chemgal
Posted on: 08/22/2011 18:15
Up to this point, as a student, my lifestyle has been better than my parents. It's not completely financial either. My parents were done school at a younger age though, and I'm not sure what my job prospects will be when I graduate. It will also be a little more difficult to get a job, because I'll want to work in the same city (or at least area) as my husband.
I think my mom would have liked some of the opportunities that I had. Her life choices still would have been very different than mine. Right now, I don't want a baby, let alone 2 toddlers! I don't think she's jealous of my lifestyle.
Birthstone
Posted on: 08/24/2011 07:12
My mom should have been a doctor, but it wasn't an option for her at the time, and it was still a big big issue if a student nurse was getting married even. But I dont' get the sense that she pined for more than what she had. And she did get a university education and she was able to be at home with kids for several years. They aren't wealthy, but I think they are ok with that.
My daughter has a million options, and I don't know what it will look like. Her own grades have narrowed the options because University is not attainable at this point. And she's excited by a prospect of a baking apprenticeship. But she doesn't see the value in a broader education yet - like a culinary college or the marketing diploma that might boost her chances in her other interest, graphic design.
She's still dealing with a system that is SUPER ENCOURAGING!! without having any sense of the pitfalls. She isn't preparing to give herself a solid grounding against poverty, just looking to do something interesting.
But even with my degree, I was the same. I dont' know that adult fears can ever be adequately taught without experience.
I'm not jealous, except of those who seemed prescient about their goals and opportunities. And yet, I had my kids early rather than building a career, and now at 40 (my birthday was 2 days ago!) I have 2 great teens and lots of freedom many others don't have. So jealousy isn't something I waste any time on.
musicsooths
Posted on: 08/30/2011 12:21
I rejoice in the accomplishments of others.