I just paid a delivery bill for an adult family member today.  They were out of town for a business trip, and it was just easier for me to pay it in person and then they can pay me back when they return.

It would be odd if it were all her bills.  Does she maybe have something locally to pay off though where she can't easily do it from her location.

If Quebec is at all involved, their banking system is also very different, so I could see if that province is involved at all it may take some time to tie up all the loose ends.

I suppose it could also be a credit problem or something like that, but it would drive me nuts to be either the daughter or the mom in that situation!

My son lives in another country.  Before he left he gave me power-of-attorney.  I thought it would be a temporary thing.  That was ten years ago.  His mail still comes here, and he deposits money into a local bank.  I don't pay his bills, but until recently I have opened his mail each month, scanned (without reading), and e-mailed it to him.  I've occasionally had to go to his bank (not mine) to do business for him.  Some things have to be forwarded by courier or snail mail.  Phone calls come in. 

I didn't mind when he first went, when it was understood that this would be temporary.  But during his most recent visit home I pointed out that he could no longer depend upon me.  I'm getting older.  My own paperwork is piling up.  My mobility may be compromised in the forseeable future.  We might have to move and change our address before his next visit.  So he went around to the banks and financial institutions that he deals with.  Lo and behold, he can do most of his banking and bill paying on line from where he is. 

I just wish that 'most' was 'all', but its something.  

He is not a teenager, or young adult starting out.

What is different if Quebec is involved?  

We have the same system as far as I know - any given bank in one province, say the Royal or TD for examples, are the same Royal bank and TD bank that we have here in this province (Quebec) and use the same system. 

Maybe we have different holidays on occasion, e.g. June 24 and Nov. 11, which may affect transaction dates.  Otherwise, I am not aware of any differences.  I have used both the above-mentioned banks - the Royal here in Quebec to do business for my mother using her Ontario branch; and the TD when visiting in Ontario to access my account here in Quebec.  No hitches whatsoever.

duplicate post

Thanks for posting this question.  During the spring and summer when my son was on an extended vacation, he gave me some information about his accounts so I could take care of a couple of things that had to be handled in person on a timely basis.  Your post just reminded me that I have to return some cards and papers to him.  He must have forgotten because he is set up to handle essentially everything - receipt of revenue and payment of bills - electronically.  He is very independent and somewhat private so he wouldn't think of asking me to take care of his business on an on-going basis.

The responses to my OP seem to confirm that at last some other people find it puzzling for a parent to deal with an adult kids responsibilities.   I can't think of any advantage to either the parent or the child in this situation.  It would be quicker, easier, and probably cheaper, for the kid to use a local bank.  Deposit a paycheque, automatically pay the regualr bills like phone and heat - simple.

It isn't always that easy if the child has a disability (she doesn't).

I suppose we each approach parenting from slightly different viewpoints.  I truly enjoyed the whole process of supporting my kids and encouraging them to take ongoing little steps forward towards indepedndant adulthood.  Maybe this other mother really enjoys being 'hands-on' involved in everything in her adult kids life?  Maybe would feel 'useless' if she didn't have this chore to do?  Incidently she told me a few years ago that she does her daughters income tax paperwork too - my adult kids do their own or pay someone whois trained in that type of work.

My reaction is similar to yours kay.

That said, I have done my kids (and husband's) taxes for the past few years ... just because I purchased the software & can process multiple returns on it ... but they collect & provide me with all the data, I just enter & submit electronically.

It could be just because people are different, with different hopes, dreams, challenges, hassles etc?    Maybe though it is more about what each parent thinks their 'job' is? 

Every family has to feel their own way through things, I suppose.  I find that I do more 'helping when asked'  (childcare, special cookies etc)  for the kids who help me in return (cutting grass, taking a load to the dump etc)!  Overall I prefer a bit of 'give and take' like that (not that we keep a tally!) 

There are times when one person in a family just offers to do something for useful for another - like Carolla with taxes - and that is fine if everyone is happy with it.  Presumably that is where the woman paying her adult daughters bills sees herself - just helping. She is also aging and I wonder how it will play out when she gets even more forgetful than she is right now - but in the end it isn't my problem.

Asking, I know some of the online banks like PC and Canadian Tire are not open to residents of Quebec.  I could see where someone would want to keep their accounts, so may use a family member's address if they moved to Quebec.  Whether or not there's banks open to Quebec residents and not other Canadians, I don't know.

That is intersting to know chemgal.  Quebec isn't involved in the bill paying I mentioned.

Yes, that is interesting and came as a surprise.  I wonder why.  A quick search on the web didn't bring up an answer although there was speculation that it may be because 1) language (service not available in French) and 2) Quebec's laws about deposits or maybe consumer protection are more stringent.  One institution (forget which already) said terms of agreement with the client could be changed by provider at any time but for Quebec depositors, a prior notice was required to change terms.

There were times when my son was away at university that I paid bills or did other business items for him that he wasn't here to do. There are times when I currently conduct other business for my daughter because it is easier for her and I to do so.

I think each situation and relationship is unique and so for some the parent may help for a time or a season. I think it should be out of need though, not convenience for the child.

Seeler It is good you had this conversation with your son and that he has gotten most in order. Hopefully all will eventually take place.