What that man did was rude and ignorant and I personally would have told him so. I can certainly understand your shock at the situation. Nobody has any right to yell or discipline or correct somebody else's child when the parent has control of the situation, as you certainly did. I personally would go back and confront the man and put him in his place.

I have a personal and strong distaste for rudeness, disrespect and bullies. This man fits all three categories (as most bullies do). Bullies need to be shown that there behaviour is unacceptable or else their behaviour will continue and escalate.

It's unlikely that's the church's idea of "living the welcome." More likely it was just the unacceptably rude behaviour of one person in a particular situation. Perhaps he was just having a bad day - which is no excuse for bad behaviour, but in the course of bad days we've probably all done things we shouldn't have done or said things we shouldn't have said.

He most certainly should have.

He most certainly did not.

My question would be whether that's normal behaviour for the individual or - again - whether he was having a bad day. Sometimes we go to a service when we're having a bad day thinking that the experience will pick us up and if it doesn't it's possible that a little thing could set someone off. I think you mentioned having seen him in the service before. Had he ever acted in a unacceptable manner or did this seem to be an exception? 

Personally I don't think you should. Again, I think you have to judge whether this is a normal pattern of behaviour for this man (and the church as a whole) or whether it's an exception. If we stopped going to church every time someone did or said something stupid and unacceptable, we'd never go to church - or anywhere else for that matter!

That's what I would do in the same situation.

Good plan. The individual probably won't make a scene in the service. Personally, as a minister, I have no problems when a child becomes disruptive. I just talk a little louder! Different people and different ministers, though, have different levels of tolerance.

Again - I say go back.

That strategy would mean that you could never take your son anywhere in public because with any child there's always a risk of such an incident, since children can be disruptive and adults can be rude.

Blessings to you,

Steven

GO_3838 ....... HUGS for your child and HUGS for you ....

This action by one person is completely inappropriate and does need to be addressed.

It would seem that this person is teaching children and that he would exhibit such behaviour is alarming.

I would strongly suggest that you bring this to the attention of the church leadership to be looked into and dealt with.    I would be concerned with how he treats and dominates children that are placed under his care in classes he seems to be teaching.

Please consider standing up for your child, and yourself, and other children that may be affected by this person's behaviour

Hugs

Rita

I'm with RF on this one. The man was hot-headed and his behavior was just plain wrong. Parents who discipline their children should be commended. Too many parents these days are slack in doing so. I would pull the man aside and have a conversation with him as to what happened. He obviously needs some serious prayer and counselling in dealing with his anger. I see no reason why you shouldn't return to that church if you wish to keep worshipping there.

I don't know your son's age, and while your son was definitely wrong to be disruptive, good on him to know when an adult was also in the wrong and saying so.  Kids will usually cower at such a display, and that's clearly what this man wanted.

Hi GO_3838,

No question about it that guy was rude.

If I heard that a member of my congregation had ever treated anyone (member or visitor) that rudely you can believe there would be words said and, if I couldn't get face to face time with that individual I would be taking time from the pulpit to denounce that rudeness in very strong terms.

In my twelve years of ministry I have only had to make such an announcement once and the circumstances (level of rudeness) were quite mild compared to your incident.

Speaking as a clergyperson I would really want to hear that it happened even if the individual could not be identified.  I would want to hear about it so that I could take steps to correct the membership in general terms so that such an incident is never repeated.

It is not unlikely that the church leadership is already aware that the event took place and not knowing you personally they do not know how to contact you to assist you in rectifying the matter.

Should you stand up for yourself?  Yes, you should.  You may not be a member of that particular congregation that in no way permits members from treating you so condescendingly.  I would not seek a direct confrontation with the individual in question.  If he is that rude while you are essentially minding your own business I would not expect him to be calmer if confronted.

Now, you might also be pleasantly surprised to have the same man approach and apologize for being such a boor.

Grace and peace to you.

John

Go, i feel for  you, your son and the individual.

I think this needs to be reported  to someone - Emerging Spirit Ctte, the board , or the Church School. Too many times we close our eyes to inappropriate behavior and especially with adults.Because you are an adult or because you are senior or because you are another parent ( with perfect children), we let them off the hook.

You were dealing with the situation so he should have butted out, imo.

And people wonder why there are no children, and young  families in our churches !

 Well here are my thoughts GO. ...

1.   Maybe the congregation member ought to have yelled at you rather than at your son.  

2.   For God's sake!  If your kid is disturbing the worship have the grace to take them out of the room when it is clear that the disturbance is going to go on and on.  Return when the crisis has passed.

3.   He is young yet and he will get over it ...

4.  Just to teach them a lesson, why don't you refuse to continue to attend further services at the church until ... oh, I don't know ... say ... the Sunday after your child graduates from high school?  In other words, why not turn a "lose-lose" situation into a "win-win"?

5.   While you're thinking about what to do, why don't you rent that old movie "The Bad Seed" and watch it with your child 10 or 12 times in a row.  Maybe it'll give you (or both of you) inspiration.

6.   Instead of going to church take your child to the opera or the symphony ... I'm sure the people there will be much better able to appreciate your child's inner cuteness ... 

7.   Think carefully, though, because if you decide to return to the church , you and your child can help give the congregation a new and better appreciation of Jesus' words, "Suffer the little children to come unto me" ... particularly as to the true meaning of the word "suffer". 

GO - I am sorry to hear about this. It sounds as if you were handling the situation with your son well - until that guy came along. I would do what others have suggested - especially contacting the minister of that church - unfortunately this may not be an isolated event. I want to say, good on you for teaching your son to stick up for himself! May your next time there be a more pleasant experience!

Please keep us posted!

There are jerks in every church. Sometimes we're one of them. We tend to take turns.

I'd keep going to this church if you like it there.

He was unnecessarily rude and out of line by speaking to your child this way. You understand this and so does your child. Use it as a lesson for your child and if this man ever presents the opportunity to say what you want to say, be prepared with a reply not out of anger, but concern.

qwerty ......... I do hope what you posted was satirical ......

Please clarify

Rita

 Satirical?  Ya think?

Rita ... I'm just trying to make sure that "group think" doesn't start to set in around here.    For instance, I can imagine that just as children are wont to get all hot and bothered and say and do things which upset others, so also adults sometimes get irritated and vociferous (just like Go's kid) and say and do things that are upsetting too.  Sometimes upsetting children become upsetting adults ... which reminds me of another point ...

8.  Maybe next time your kid acts up you ought to do something about it so he doesn't end up being a boorish anti-social old man.

Hi qwerty,

The little yellow clown car points in that direction.

Well, it does when you wind it up.  

Grace and peace to you.

John

You know...it IS disruptive to have a child acting out and it is embarrassing for the mom.  If this "gentleman" really wanted to be helpful he could have come out and patted mom on the back and given her some support.

He didn't want to help he wanted to vent.  I'm dusting off the jeans for a big ol' moon for that guy!

i would have politely pointed out that judging by his behaviour i guess tantrums aren't just for kids while calmly adding  that i was trying to be a positive influence and that this man's poor behaviour was making it difficult for me to convey the message.  i would offer for him to join my son for a time out. 

who am i kidding,  i would have jersied him.  possibly a wedgie too.

qwerty, maybe jae isn't the only jerk around WC.

 Here is my take on things....

The guy acted like an idiot. Is he always this way? Who cares. No bad day, disrupted circle... gives anyone a "right" to be an ass. 

Sometimes people think they get the "right" to be an ass if it interferes with them. Nope, not in my books. Sometimes they think they get to be a busybody or bossy pants if mom or dad are not doing what they think they should. For me, again, nope. It ain't your kid. If he was mad at you about your parenting, he should have taken it out on you. He can interact with you, offer advice, whatever... what he cannot do is undermine you as the parent. One parent is not to do that to another. Let alone the fact he just some stranger. 

Now, the "never be a child of God" thing is IMO spiritual abuse. I do not care if it is mom, dad, grandparents, babysitter, clergy.... Others have other opinions and they use fear as a tool. Watch Jesus Camp and you will see others with other opinions. 

I would name it. It offers you knowledge on whether this congregation will work for you and your son. If they find fear a perfectly good tool, then I would personally move on. If they do not, then they have a right to know. This man could be in Sunday School or interacting with children in a mentor role... if he does not fit their way, they have a right to know. 

Many people will cross a line when they feel it interferes with or impacts with them. You see it in public places. For myself, I respect that I am not the child's parent and it is not my place -unless there is abuse and then it IS my place. I feel I should not butt in, especially not if the parent is right there disciplining- rightly or wrongly- (barring abuse) again one parent is not to undermine another and strangers definitely should not. Yet, I see others do it all the time. In the grocery store telling a kid "if you don't listen mom/dad should take your video game away" or something else.

What rights do we think we have to discipline or help discipline other people's kids?

 Maybe it is a good sermon topic for this congregation, "Fear as a Antiquated Tool"

I think I will work on one,   "Boundaries and Fences in It-Takes-A-Village"

Just had to find a way to mention my name again, eh.

That guy needs to be reported, if he's in any sort of leadership with teens, kids etc.  I don't care his reason, if he has such issues that he's yelling like that at a kid, he needs to be dealt with, (compassionately of course).

Absolutely you should go back.  I bet when you call the church and talk with the people in charge (minister, organizers) they'll fall all over you trying to make amends.  I hope.  And you'll know some people better, perhaps your sons can come and meet some of the people too, when it's less intense (they might like a tour of the building, and see the worship space in a different way).  You might find the organizers will not be surprised that so&so acted like he did - they will likely have experienced something like that before.

Uncalled for and not especially funny, imho.

qwerty - maybe you missed the point that the mother was dealing with the situation.  She had removed her son from the circle, and from the room.  She put him on a time out.  She told him that he couldn't eat unless he listened respectfully to the service (I presum that when he calmed down she meant to take him back into the room, possibly to sit near the back for a quick exit if necessary. 

We are not told how old the child was, or if he had a learning disability or behaviorial problems - just that he was having a bad day.

The mother was acting appropriately.

The man wasn't!   Interferring, other than a quiet offer to the mother to help, and shouting were bad enough.  But telling the boy that he wasn't a 'child of God' was over the top. 

I think I would have given him a look that said 'drop dead', picked up my child and removed him from that man's presence - probably taking him back inside where there were other people present.  And I would report this man to the church authorities.  He is dangerous to be around children - especially in a position of influence like a Sunday School teacher or youth leader.  He may not be physically dangerous, but he has certainly shown that he is capable of verbal, emotional and spiritual abuse.

If I were this man's clergy person I would pay him a visit, talk to him about his anger management problems and inappropriate behaviour, suggest counselling, and suggest that he find ways to serve the congregation that doesn't involve children and youth (maybe he could sing in the choir, help with finances, paint the roof - anything to keep him away from a position of authority over young people, or any volunerable person.

 I agree with all SG says and with all seeler said.  Seeler is right ... I did miss the part about mom having taken action, time out etc.  I guess I shouldn't try to work and post at the same time

Couple of points.

1. sometimes churches have people in their midst who have issues....and churches struggle with what actions to take.  It helps to hear from an outsider how the behaviour impacted them, so by all means, speak to the minister, and if you are comfortable, put your feelings to paper.  People with issues may look refined and in control.

2. congregations, it is so important to deal with these issues. The person who has issues with their own behaviour do have an impact, and you can't see their behaviour 7x24. Often, they can control their outbursts around you.  If you ignore them, then they have damage to people..especially those who come to a church already hurting.

3.  Suggestion: the only thing that I might add GO, is that narthaxes can echo into a sanctuary or space..He may have had a terrible day, lost somone, or just been beside himself with pain or anguish.  It doesn't excuse his behaviour, but, it may help you to find in your heart to forgive him.

.just something to consider, to listen to why he was so out of control...

 RevJohn...that took courage to name it from the pulpit. I'm not normally a fan of public shaming; however, when a congregation condones such behaviour, publicly naming it is an interesting suggestion.  In our case, the person has withdrawn their membership after thorough review, documenation and escalation.  Sadly we were not able to find a way to work it out.

My apologies to qwerty and jae from another Jerk. - ME.

Hi Pinga,

It was no more a matter of public shaming than say, reading any parable of inclusion from scripture.

The individual was not named.  The behaviour most certainly was.  As well as my interpretation of how such a behaviour failed to make Jesus present.

It is not a routine part of my ministry.

Grace and peace to you.

John

I'd call the minister and have a discussion about what happened. That way you can determine if it was just this individual (I hope so). The minister was there and should be able to offer feedback and their perpective.

Hi GO - I agree with most of what's already been written. 

One bit I might add would be to reflect on the situation with my kid, from a natural consequences perspective, if I were in such a situation.  From looking at your profile, seems he would be old enough for that.   What can he learn?   What responsibility does he hold in the situation?  Obviously,  I wasn't there, don't know him & cannot judge.  But often there is good teaching that can come of such uncomfortable moments.  

So I might have a conversation later ... something along the lines of ...    So ... son,  how did you act tonight, what were other people doing that was different from you?  Did you do as I asked when I told you to sit quietly & respectfully listen to the story and songs?  No.  Hmm ... looks like that man got pretty upset about your behaviour. Seems like maybe he couldn't hear because you were talking & making noise with your feet.  He was disrespectful by yelling at you & said some nasty things which were wrong.  You were disrespectful too in your behaviour.   How might you manage your behaviour next time if you don't want this to happen again?   

Naturally, the whole "not a child of God' thing is terribly out of line & would be a different & separate conversation. 

In agreement with all who thought this man was rude, insensitive, out-of-line, possibly having a bad day, and should have kept his thoughts and opinion to himself.

I agree with Tabitha about calling the minister and discussing the situation.  What was said and what happened should not be overlooked, but perhaps with tact the minister can be helpful in this situation.

Carolla..good feedback about having another discussion after time has passed and have a chance to review how our actions can trigger other actions.

I wou ld definately call the minister and tell him about the incident.  HE may know but it would be good to talk about it.

I dont' think there is ever an excuse for that type of behaviour and the fact that you were dealing with him makes me wonder what the guy wanted to accomplish.

I am concerned about the idea that he might be a Sunday school teacher of childrens group leader.  A very wrong choice and the minister shoudl know about his conflict with you.

The service sounds like a nice idea and I woudl talk about it with your son.  How his behaviour bothered some people including yourself.  Hwo you liked to participate and enjoy the meal.  I would offer him the choice of trying againa and behaving or getting a sitter.  AFter all it sounds like your other child did enjoy it.

I wouldn't give up on the church over this one thing but I would keep it in mind if other odd things happen

Nothing I can add that has not been shared.

I would just like to point out that people are rude all over and not just in chirch

I was having issues with my foster child. Or ONE issue. She was 11 and would not comb her hair. My mother told me not to take her anywhere intil she combed her hair. That might have worked if I was not a single parent an d could have made her stay home while her siblings did fun stuff. I decided the hair was not an issue and ignored it. I had to take the kids to the lab for a bloodtest. A woman commented "look at her hair. Where is the parent". Rude and none of her business. I did not hide my head In shame cuz really I pick my battles. The hair was not the hill I was willing to die on. I told the woman "I am right here. Do u have a problem?". The woman did not say anymore. All the foster kids laughed at her and I would have said more. I doid not stay away from public places. If the woman did not like the girls hair she does not have to look at it. Sure your son might have been a little distracting. He wasn't hurting anyone. Kids have bad days. Others will get over it.

Do tell the minister. It was not welcoming.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone!

Someone of you asked for more info., so I wanted to address those.

We are not members at this church, but we have attended the Emerging Spirit gatherings there all last year. The ministers know our names, and our phone numbers and e-mails, because that's how they send us info. about these gatherings. No one has contacted us about this.

I'm assuming that they could hear the man shouting, because when I'd taken my son for time-out I continued to hear the minister's voice, and she wasn't shouting. So if I could hear her voice, I'm assuming that they could hear the man shouting. (But maybe they couldn't hear him.)

I did talk briefly yesterday with my son about how his disruptive behaviour affects other people besides his family. I think that has been an eye-opener for him that I hope he can learn from.

I got the impression that the man was a public school teacher, not a Sunday School teacher. This part did not make it into my original post: he told my son that he knew me and that he worked with me (I'm a public school teacher.) However, I've never seen this man before, and I've certainly never worked with him before. I have an amazing memory for names and faces, and I would remember if I had worked with this man somewhere in my career. I don't know why he said that.

I like what Rev. Davis wrote about how this man could be having a really bad day and it wouldn't take much to set him off. That's possible. I'm inclined to take the "least said, soonest mended" approach. When Emerging Spirit happens next month, I'll take my cues from my son. He may want to go and may have forgotten all about this. Or he may want to not go because of the mean man that shouted at him.

When the minister phones or e-mails with info. about the next gathering, that would be an opportunity to say that my son doesn't want to go, and explain why not. Then they could use the info. however they will.

But I'm reluctant to make a "crusade" and haul this guy in front of the church's official board when he could have been having a bad day, and i don't want to escalate this if my son will quickly forget about it. I'll wait and see what happens at the next emerging spirit.

Thank you qwerty ....... somehow your first post just didnt seem like you somehow...

I have made an "oops" like that as well .... I too could and should have explained better when I asked you whether your original post was satirical....

Hugs

Rita

umm, go, if  you could hear the minister's voice, then do you think those inside could hear your voice?

I dare say that the minister had a mic and possibly there were speakers at the back of the sanctuary or even in the narthex.  If the circle was happening at the front of the church, it is quite possible that she could hear the minister but would not be heard herself.

This guys lucky because I know some dads maybe even myself who would want to step outside with him and open a can of whup ass on him in the parking lot!

Doesn't matter if he had a bad day! that's no excuse. Your in a church for crying out loud!

You don';t really have a right to exercise discipline in the wrong way like that with someone else's child. If anything he could have just spoken to you the parent directly or an usher/elder more respectfully.

I remember teachers would lose their temper back in the day when I was a kid, but I think things have changed and they just can't do that anymore. Teachers were abusive back then with yelling/screaming, even assaulting. 

If a daycare worker reacted very harsh to my child or if I knew of another. We would be quick to report it to the director/manager. 

My son because he's 2 acts up all the time, doesn't want to sit still, likes to roam around and people in church smile at him and wave. Most of the time hes at the nursury but the odd occasion he's in the congregation. People just need to stop being anal retentive in church and lighten up.

Generally if he acts up i just pick him up and take him out of the sanctuary and into the main lobby or whatever.

Again, one presumes that this person was "normal" and acting based on your norms.

There are multiple reasons for what occurred, and letting someone know, such as the minister, is good practice.

Also, because they call, go, doesn't necessarily mean they know you.  Now, you may know they do, as they may all call you by first name; however, there are often disconnects between phone lists and someone knowing someone's name.

Also, you may presume that the person knew the fellow was yelling at you.  Maybe he often removes himself to rant & rage.  Maybe they didn't know he was yelling at you...who knows..maybe they are waiting for you to say something, thinking if you didn't that he wasn't yelling at you.

again, presumptions on all sides aren't good.  i would call to be sure.

I'd probably have the talk with the minister sooner rather than later.

It doesn't mean the guy will be hauled before the church board.

It does mean she will be aware of how his behaviour affected 2 others who came to the gathering.

It might be an opportunity for her to appraoch the guy and see what else is happening in his life-or to give him some coaching on welcoming others.

You're right. In fact, what I said was "maybe he was just having a bad day - which is no excuse for bad behaviour ..." The point I was making was that this was not necessarily the person's normal pattern of behaviour, and I was making it in response to the question of whether GO_3838 should stop attending the services at that church. I don't think she should based on what could have been an isolated incident.

reasons are not always excuses.

On the issue of the minister having heard him - I'm going to suggest that the minister was busy and may have heard 'noise, commotion, raised voices' but it didn't last long and wasn't clear as to what it was... - we had an incident in the church where our Secretary had a run-in with a creepy dude, and voices were raised (he was yelling at her in the hall) but people in a close proximity room didn't register the noise as something important to respond to.  It raised our awareness of how isolated you can be even if others are in the building.  Just saying that the minister may have not registered b/c of the task she was involved in, and the fact that there were other adults around to deal with anything that needed dealing.  Unless it is brought to her attention (his?) she likely has no idea that something so serious occurred.

No need to haul him up there, but for your son, and for you, getting the all-ok from people in charge will help smooth this over and put it in the past for you.

Also, it occurs to me that your son won't put this behind him completely - it will pop up in his memory from time to time and its best if he has you & others onside with him, letting him remember and talk about it.

Having a mom with a mental health disorder, being a child with abuse and no rules eventual anger issues and addiction, having a niece with ADHD, co-parenting a child with Ausperger's... I have had to learn and teach acceptable behaviour and boundaries. It also means basically - no excuses. My mom could not/cannot just get testy and expect people to understand she is bipolar. She could not/cannot skip medication and yell at strangers.  I could not because just go smack someone and expect that people knew I had rage issues or past abuse.  being high did not mean rules did not apply to me. My niece cannot just break things or be out of control or disruptive. My ex's son could not just be anti-social.

That said, people can be aware, be understanding and gentle.. or aware and tough (depending on what is called for). They do that by knowledge. 

Sadly, church is where most secrets live. We all have it all together and do not want "the church folks" to know from health issues, loss of job, addiction, divorce.... Sad, too sad....

This gentleman may have real problems, issues, have had a tough day,  be in the middle of his own or another's medical crisis, emotional stuff on his plate, stress.... and that is reality. It is also reality that it is not acceptable behaviour to yell at other people's kids. In the absence of talking or awareness, it becomes easy to make this guy a jerk and stay unaware, not understanding.... 

Talking it out allows a view from both sides. He can see that no matter what is going on others have boundaries and perhaps others can glimpse what it is to be him for a moment. 

I had a similar experience quite a few years ago now. I can't go into too many details since it would be identifying but suffice to say that I haven't returned to that church since. The situation is different enough that this is what I need to do to keep both my son and I safe, emotionally and spiritually speaking.

Yes, people have bad days, that's true. However, as SG points out, there are lines that ought not to be crossed - your situation has a few. While I often agree with qwerty's observations, my list looks different:

1.  There are different points of view on who has the right to intervene in discipline matters when one is out in public. Some feel that the expression "it takes a village" means that, like yesteryear, others can speak their piece to your child as part of socializing a child. Others believe that no-one should be stepping in to speak to a child in a disciplinary way without requesting parental permisson. (This doesn't apply when the adult is in loco parentis.) I'm off the latter view myself.

2.  I also agree that the comment about not being a child of God is spiritual abuse. It may well be that your child has bounced back however, you have no idea if or how that experience will translate in your child's growth in his spiritual life or his emotional life, for that matter. Is this something that, a few days down the road, you might think about checking in with your son about -- ask him what he remembers perhaps, what he thinks/feels about it, etc? That could provide some information in terms of deciding what next steps you want to take.

3.  Regardless of what next steps, if any, you want to take, I would suggest writing everything about the incident down - time, date, details as you remember them. If, at some point, you need the information, you won't have to rely on your memory alone.

4.  I wonder if you've given any thought in discussing this with the minister of the congregation. It may be something that has happened with other children, that the ministry team is keeping an eye on, or if they are not, it could be important for them to be aware of. Given that you're not a member of the congregation, you wouldn't necessarily know about any known issues with this man.

Also, his comment about his "class" raises a red flag for me - if he's a school teacher, that's somewhat worrisome but probably out of your control, however, if a Sunday school teacher, definitely worrisome and within your control. How he lost control could be a warning and his theological perspective might not be what that congregation wants taught to their youngters.

A discussion with a minister might help in restoring safety for you and your son when you are there, knowing that someone else is aware of what happened and can come to your assistance, if necessary. And, perhaps the clergy person would think about facilitating a conversation between the two of you so that you are both aware of "the rules of engagement".

5.  I admire your thoughtful approach to this situation and agree with your thinking that modelling what you want your child to learn from it is important. As parents, we all know that so often it is our actions that speak far louder than words. Your options aren't restricted to the two you've presented however, whatever you choose, thinking about it through the lens of what you hope your child will learn souns like it would be useful to you. Are there others that might be of some value? For example, is handling this in the second way you've outlined part of a value you hold about you being able to take care of things yourself, without asking for help? Or, in the example I offered about talking with a minister, could it be part of valuing community in such a way as to ask for help? Another angle you might be considering is how you'd wish to be treated were you in his shoes, while still wanting to keep you and your son safe. What you choose will be about your values and beliefs so I would encourage you to consider putting the ones that best reflect those closer to the "top" of the list of responses.

What a tough situation! I'm so sorry it happened! Regardless of some of the feedback, it sounds like you responded the way I believe a  responsible parent would and that you are continuing to do so. Given what you've described and how you've described it, I feel confident that you will figure out and wish you well in the process.

I had a thought and I wondered if the situation involved a mentally or physically challenged adult ( or child) or someone whose ideas he dis agreed with, would the same thing have occured. Or maybe it has.

Crazyheart...you are presuming because this person didn't present as someone with mental health issues....that he didn't have them....honestly, the people who are the most dangerous to me are those who present normal or can manage it "most of the time".  This is personal to me...having been close to someone with borderline personality disorder....

Um... you're forgiven (though I'm not quite sure right now just what it is I'm forgiving you for).

Situations can call for extreme measures sometimes. Fighting is never justified but still it is the result of raw animalistic primal instinct to protect your own.

You just don't yell at someones else's kid! you got no right!  talking to the parent is the better appropriate solution. Most parents usually handle their children properly.

I guess two wrongs would not make a right but still, the guy is clearly acting outside his permissable boundary limit.

In the OP it seems to only indicate that he is just a plain member, a passerby who felt like taking out his miserable day on a child. Maybe he enjoys overpowering weaker/vulnerable types  to build himself up more. 

Was he an old guy who was old school ways???

I don't really know, because I wasn't there and everybody reacts in different situations. Usually from what I've noticed, it progresses worse whenever a conflict happens between strangers.

Ever see a UFC match almost erupt over a parking spot? I have.

People are generally the same everywhere, but it depends on how one scolds a child. This doesn't seem the person had the right. If they instilled fear like that or any kind of trauma, it could be inviting inevitable confrontation on this guy. That could potentially get uglier and the guy would be intimidated by a larger more tougher opponent say the kids dad.

He put himself in the wrong spot. 

A pissing match would ensue either way.

Another scenario that is similar is a dad walking up in a school yard and yelling and putting fear in a kid who bullies his kid. The parent of that bully is then gonna jump on the defence for their own.

Hockey dads start to go at it at the rinks over one son checking another.

People don't have to and won't act the way we or you or anybody thinks they should...

Pinga, I'm with you on this one.  I've had a similar experience. Borderline's rarely admit to any disability.