Amen, Tab.

Of course you will miss her Tabitha! Know that you have raised her well and she is ready to spread her wings and fly. It's natural that you will be worried about her - know that you have given her the tools she needs to make it on her own. May these last two weeks be good ones for you and for her - may you create lasting memories that you can hold on to when you are really missing her.

Here's to that task indeed Tabitha!  It's such an important one - for the nestlings and for momma bird.   Perhaps that robin that was singing non-stop outside my window at 3:45AM today was sharing your moment! 

Of course you will miss her ... and of course she will use all that she's learned from you to take good care of herself.  Cheers to your daughter and cheers to you!!  Keeping you both in my thoughts & prayers  this night.

and she seems so young and naive-and only has arranged her couch surfing for 1 night-no credit card or cheques yet-just her learners driver's liscense

But she did really well last year at college and knows she can do that if she chooses.

and she has enough $ in the bank if she lives frugally for 2 years. So I hugged her and said I had to hear from her every week!

no credit card awesome :3

It's a transition time for both you and your daughter, Tabby.

You are giving her room to fly solo - but also providing her with the means (by switching her area cell phone) to return to the nest if she feels the need........

At nineteen, it's her decision - and within reason - her responsibility.

Some little birds fly well the first time, others need a few attempts, but a mother's love helps  - however many attempts - it happen, as nature intended.

Tabby - I know your heart aches - and of course you worry.  (words from the older generation here - we never stop worrying about our children).  And she's gone so far away. 

You should also be proud - this is actually what we want for our kids - that they become independant adults capable of managing on their own.  You've done your job.  You seen her grow to adulthood, got her through school - and you say she has enough money to see her through two years!   Wow!   I don't think I've ever been in that envyable position. 

Still it hurts - I remember the hurt when Seelerboy first moved out.  He seemed so young.  I had counted on a few more years.  And it seemed that Seelerman, in his hurt was also insulted.  We were able and willing to provide him with a home for the next few years while he attended the nearby university.  Instead he choose to take an apartment with friends a few blocks away and, in his words 'try my wings'.   I understood, and in a few months we welcomed him back for the next semester - and were better prepared for when he flew again.  Now he's on the other side of the world.  But I wouldn't want him in the back bedroom forever. 

Wings and roots.   Give them solid roots, and let them fly.

Tabitha.

Hoping she does call, hoping all goes well....and know that you have given her the tools. She has seen you be successful, and move and work hard, and I am sure, has you in mind as a role model of how to be successful.

At the same time, I get your nervousness. 

Tabitha, I wish your daughter good luck!  For you, I've poured a cup of tea.

Tabitha, I join in wishing your daughter good luck.
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I've no doubt she missed her friends--that will be why she decided to move so far away.
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I moved from Ottawa to Victoria in the summer before my daughter started Grade 8. She really missed her friends. She managed to keep in touch and now (20 years later) she was in the Ottawa area for work purposes and they had a reunion. She put the pictures on Facebook (including all the kids).
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So yes, friends are a big deal, but that's how life is, as others have noted. Roots and wings for sure.

Tabitha, big steps for both you and your daughter. You will miss your daughter and do some worrying and wondering and wishing for her that all goes smoothly. I hope you also feel good that you have provided a solid foundation for her to make this independent journey. I'm thinking of you during this tender time of transition.

At Eastern Orthosdox-Her money has come from a cash settlement awarded after her accident. She was crossing a road on her bike and a car turned right without looking or stopping (He had a red light). She was trapped under the car and recieved deep burns on the inside of her right leg-requiring grafts and a broken left humerus. She then had radial nerve palsy and no use of left hand for much of that school year while the nerve regrew.

Now left with a scat 20 cm tall and loss of some muscle mas-but able to walk, run, bike, skate etc. She will not let it be seen in public.

Money arrived this year and she put it in GIC's so she could finish school with it. Hope she gets a job soon so it doesn't all get used up.

Tabitha,
That's most unfortunate. I feel bad now having just gone to Pilgrims thread in "feeling old" to whine about a pulled muscle. I had no idea it could be so debilitating.
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Your daughter must have suffered a lot.
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I think the habit we have of letting cyclists share the road with autos is very dangerous. I am ultra-careful as a driver but still it would take just one tiny mistake.
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At work, my former boss was a fanatical bicycler and was hit by a truck. He survived but his injuries are such that he can no longer work.
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Sorry if I am derailing the thread.

Hi Tabitha - I do remember when our daughter left for Whistler - now almost 4 years ago.  She was a  bit older, but it was similar - a friend's couch to sleep on, no job, some - but not a whole lot - money in the bank.   It took her a while to land the job she really wanted, but she did it.  Finding a place to live that year was tougher ... but that worked out too eventually.  She had some fleeting moments of mild homesickness, but hung in there with a positive attitude.   I certainly wondered about her every day, and was always grateful when she called or e-mailed.

It sounds like your daughter is returning to the community where you all lived for some time ... so that hopefully will be a plus for her ... knowing the area, having friends (hers and yours!) who might look out for her if needed.  She will learn a lot - about herself, and others, and life.  Blessings for the journey.

@EO-actually she was NOT sharing the road with cars. She was crossing a service road-at a light and with a WALK sign. Driver did not see her. He had a red light-did not stop, hit her as he was turning right-actually she did not have a lot of pain after the burn happened. It was too deep-burn ending were killed.

Radial nerve palsy is numbness and lack of control-again no much pain.

Now her donor site for a skin graft-that HURT! It's 4 years post accident-so not a day to day concern-her scar is there-and will be there but function or pain is not a concern

@Carolla-yes it does sound a bit similar. Glad you are going to visit this summer!

I've had 2 texts in respomnse-she has arrived!

Oh, that is awful, Tabitha. I guess she could have been hit just walking. I once had to dodge a taxi crossing on foot at an intersection on a green light.
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I don't like driving in heavy traffic anymore. I do not enjoy driving in my home town (Vancouver). Quite content to stay in Victoria thanks.
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Great that she's arrived.

I hear you EO - I am also from Vancouver and never did like driving downtown there. I had to do it recently and was glad to have a passenger, so that I didn't stress out too much! People here in Victoria seem to think we have traffic problems, but we really don't (unless you are trying to get out of town on a Friday afternoon!). Having said that, I heard that Blanshard Street, one of the major roads in town was shut down for about 3 hours this afternoon because of an accident, which really snarled things up! Thankfully, it seems that although one person suffered major injuries, there was nothing life threatening.

Tabitha - I am glad to to hear that your daughter has arrived safe and sound!

Latest text-she is off for her first shift at Tm Horton's.  Kuddos to her-first job she has got for herself!

Her nanny job 2 years ago was with a friend of mine-she went and interviewed-and said try me for a week-and it was a good fit.

She is growing up!

Good for her Tabitha!

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It didn't take her long to find a job. That's great!

Good for her, Tab

Your faith and trust in your daughter is there to see - I sense your daughter can see it too......

well said, Pilgrims Progress

Congrats to Tab-daughter for landing a job!

Timmy's is a great training ground!  My daughter worked there too while in schhol and progressed to key-holder - often opening the store on the weekends.  More than once when walking to work in early dawn hours, she encountered friends stumbling home from parties :-)     Lots of good lessons learned at Tim's by so many kids! 

Ok-my 16 year old said wait and see Mom. She doesn't always tell the truth.

So I opened her letter from the dentist-she is on my benefits. The 3 of us had back to back appointments-mine was the middle one and I left before she was done.

She said she had a great check up and no cavities.

Turns out she has 4 cavities and this is her treatment plan.

My benefits will cover the $1200 of treatment leave her to pay $200 if she does it before Sept. As of Sept. if she is not in school, she is not eligible for family coverage.

And so I need to call her......

Oh, good for her, Tabitha!  

I tried not to worry when each of the 3 boys left home...just like I tried not to worry when they road motorbikes and started driving.  I'm not a worrier, in a big sense....but hoped they were treated with respect...and kept their self respect.  They did call home and come home and there were a few times over the years that I could tell they weren't very happy and that was the hardest! 

I like Seeler's comment...give them solid roots and let them fly!  We'll keep a spot on the porch for chatting for the momma.

Tabitha . . . thinking of you as you go through this time of releasing your daughter into the world away from home and into her new life, and yet a part of you possibly wishing you could grab her back and pull her in close to you so you can protect and care for her.

Probably like most next leavers there will be ups and downs, mistakes might happen, possibly some not-so-good decisions made at times . . . there will be some struggles, but there will also be some great achievements made and some situations where she will experience success and proove to herself that she can do it.  Trust in the strength, wisdom, and ability she has achieved partially through your parenting at home.

(Hope the denstist/cavity thing works out okay.)

she has a room in a house-4 blocks from where we used to live. I'm out to AB next week and am adding 4 hours of driving to see her. We've been e-mail about what else she would like with her-the old dishes and her black boots-all seems well.

That's wonderful news Tabitha!

Glad to hear you'll get to visit soon Tabitha - hoping for a good visit for both of you.

Good news-she had applied to U of A without telling me and one piece of mail I brought was her acceptance. She is entering 2nd year with credit for 11/12 of her college course. She has joined a marching band and is learning the basson (Her friend is in it). Her house is ok but she may be moving to another place-an apartment. She can sort that out and she is working 4 or 5 shifts a week at Tim Horton's-the 10pm to 6am shift.

All in all I'm very pleased avout the U of A. Schooling will happen in the fall!

Great news, Tabitha. She sounds like an independent, strong-minded gal.

Kudos to her - and to you Tabitha - so she's going to go to U of A then?

Carolla-In Sept. Yes!

Tabitha, that's great!  The SU also has a health & dental plan, which is probably better than whatever Timmies offers.

Wow, your daughter will be entering 2nd year at U of A. That's great Tabitha. Personally, I also love that she's in a marching band (I did that in university). Lots of positives happening for your daughter -- hopefully helping you feel more comfortable about this transition.

good point chemgal about the health & dental plan for students ... worth every penny!

daughter is coming home for Thanksgiving. Just booked her flight this am on airmiles for her-as we chatted on our cell phones.

She's quitting Timmies-as she was doing too many shifts-and seems to be enjoying school and band and her Edmonton friends. I'll be glad to see her!

Great news Tabitha.  I can imagine your anticipation.  I too will have my daughter and grandchildren for Thanksgiving - but its many years since she first left home, and she still lives nearby.

But it seems a mother is always happy to see her offspring come back to the nest - even for a long weekend. 

Catching up on this story, Tabitha!  Good for her, arriving at this point with school and plans and problem-solving.  Maybe she feels like a strong person inside for all she's been through.  Aside from your frayed nerves, I bet you're proud as punch ;)   Thanksgiving should be fun.  Make her favourites and let her sink on to the couch and enjoy some TLC.

My daughter is 17 and just started her first co-op placement that equals a 40 hour work week.  She is just 3 days in, so it is brand new but her attitude is terrific so far, and her dad & I are trying hard to let her work it through.  She already has cast off the cute shoes she insisted on for a more comfortable pair (I at least reminded her they existed in the closet.)  She is up at 5:30 am and had to deal with a bossy boss (no kidding!). 

I'd love to see her brave & eager & prepared for leaving the nest, and sometimes I worry it will be sooner than I imagine.  She starts college next year in Toronto (hopefully) and it is least expensive for her to live at home and take the train.  But we all are aware that there are other options. 

Cheers for your girl!  And hugs for you. :)

I too was out of touch, so glad that things are moving along.

Reminded how quickly they grow up, how much we want to see them happy , independent, and how hard it is to let them go

Nothing better than going back home for Thanksgiving (and Christmas)! I'm sure your daughter is looking forward to being home for a few days anyway, I know I'm looking forward to it. Much as I enjoy cooking for myself, there's nothing like mom made food.

Here's to "mom made food" - definitely agree Bethany!!  Stock that fridge up Tabitha  - not that you need to be told that!     Glad to hear you are all looking forward to the visit - it will be interesting for you to see how she has changed & grown, and how she is still the same inside it all. 

Thanks all. We are all looking forward to it!

Have a great visit and Thanksgiving weekend with your visiting daughter and all your family, Tabitha :)

thanks. We are enjoying having all 4 of us here. Youngest is at a birthday party but willingly turned down the sleepover part as his sister leaves early Mon. (It's not really the sleep over as much as the next day that is spent on catch up sleep!)

All is well.

Awww ... that's sweet isn't it, to see sibs making such choices to be together!  Well done mom!

well son called and changed his mind. Asked if he could stay over. Was grumpy that i said no. I picked him up at 9;30. pm.

Left here this morning at 430 am to get daughter to flight. The lesson here is not to book flights at last minute.

Visit was good but short!

We'll next see her at Christmas.

LOL Tabitha!