kaythecurler
nature or nurture
Posted on: 10/21/2010 10:16
When I was younger and starting into the adventure of raising children I thought that the style of parenting would be the major influence on them. If they were raised with kindness and honesty as a goal that they would grow up to be kind and honest. If the parents valued education the children would also value education. If the parents modelled respect to the earth then the children would avoid causing excess pollution. If the parents modelled community service then the kids would do community service once they were adult.
Now my children are raising there own children and I wonder if they were each born with certain traits that are just part of who they are.
The child who had a tendency to be greedy still has this tendncy. The child who had a tendency to be lazy is still reluctant to put out effort.
What do you think? Which is more important - nature or nurture?
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Mely
Posted on: 10/21/2010 15:55
I think personality is largly in born. I have 4 grown children and they each have very different personalities. Now I am enjoying watching the differences in my grandchildren as they grow.
That is not to say that we don't need to teach them kindness, respect, and lots of other things. But parents are not any where near as powerful as they think they are when it comes to influencing their childrens' personalities. Perhaps it is as well that this is not widely known or believed, since parents might be afraid to have children if they knew how powerless they will be over those childrens' personality.
Beloved
Posted on: 10/24/2010 16:44
I think a lot of our personality is made up in who we were born as. But I also believe that nurture makes a difference. I believe nurture makes a difference in that we can be taught to excel in areas in which we are not gifted in from birth.
A child whose tendency from birth is to be greedy (because that is what their make-up might be) can be taught to share and give . . . not necessarily because they feel like it in the same way that someone who is gifted in generosity might - but by learning that sharing and giving is what makes us and the world a better place.
A child whose tendency might be towards lazyness (because of their make-up from birth) can be taught that there are rewards in working hard, for oneself and for others. They might not naturally have the get-up-and-go of another, but they can learn that they must give of themselves and that that makes them and the world a better place.
carolla
Posted on: 10/24/2010 16:39
I think it is both nature and nuture that form us ... and our children. We are influenced by so much in life, and our experiences can be so richly diverse - or not. It is always interesting to see the emerging personalities of our children ... I know I've been often surprised! But they are both now becoming young adults with many wonderful traits, as they discover themselves in the world.
jon71
Posted on: 10/25/2010 04:53
I think nurture is the bigger influence but certainly well short of 100%. Some things truly are innate and some are even genetic.