I remember once sitting with  friends and watching our children playing together.  There were eight of them altogether, ranging in age from 4-10.

One friend said "Do you ever think about what difficulties these kids could bring us as they get older?"  We chatted and realised that likely one child would be invovled in a too early pregnancy.  One might become seriously ill and maybe die.  Another could have an accident and never completely recover from the injuries. One might run away from home in early teenhood.   Maybe one would be divorced bringing trauma to their children.  Etc.

Now those children are in their forties.  One was murdered, four ran away (with different eventual outcomes), two had serious accidents (no lasting problems for one, serious ongoing problems for the other), three were involved with a too early pregnancy, one has a serious health problem that could be fatal,   

Parenting is indeed an act of courage filled with the possibility of delight and difficulty.  Speaking for myself - I am glad to have kids and the stresses they bring sprinkled among the joys!

There is trauma but I'd rather think of the quicky things

-As a parent I never expected to be buying my daughter thong panites to fit over her donor site for her skin graft at 14

as a parent I'd never expected to be explaining to my son that Nair was not a good solution to wanting a haircut-and using clippers to even it out-at 16

...it gets no easier as a grandparent....

...and according to my mother .... no easier as a great grandparent....

Ah well ....

Rita

True enough, lastpointe.  No matter how you look at it, though, life is hard sometimes and easy peasy at other times...parenting, marriage, family relationships, friendships, work life, health, etc.  Who you really are, is how you react and meet challenges...not that you have them or how they eventually turn out.

That said...parenting/grandparenting traumas are especially heartwrenching.

The other night I was watching a documentary on people with intellectual disabilities seeking fairness & inclusion.  One mother commented that parent's life is like driving down a road - sometimes the road is nice & smooth, with an occasional speed bump or small pothole, and at other times it's so full of bumps and holes there is nary a smooth bit and shakes you to your core with its unrelenting nature; often we know (or at least think we know) where the road will take us, but unexpected detours and full scale closures can occur.   I thought it was an apt description.

It is true as others have said - we may embark on the parenting journey with courage - but also some level of ignorant bliss that allows us to go forward! 

lastpointe - I think sometimes those of us who work in healthcare may have a more acute sense of danger - as we often see the worst case scenarios, and often not through to happier, healthier conclusions when they do occur.  Sometimes it's hard to keep it in check.  I had a friend who was an ICU nurse at Sick Kids - but after having a child of her own found it just too difficult to keep working there - she'd be calling home in the middle of the night, imploring her husband to 'just go check on the baby'. 

Carolla, I think the road analogy is a good one.

Why?  Coz, the bumpy road may also be less travelled.  You sometimes travel slower, though the intensity is wild as you watch for potholes or other life crushing items.

The smooth road is often busy..you don't even notice the miles going by until you are at your destination.. yes, you are busy, generally avoiding other cars or watching for your next turn.

It is amazing how both wonderful and scary parenting is. A bumping road for sure.

I had difficulty with being pregnant and worried mainly due to where I worked. See only ill babies for years and you begin to think healthy ones are rare, not the other way around.

But it is definitely the sudden turns that catch us by surprise. There is chansen playing with his son at a local fun fair during the day ad I hospital for a life changing event at night.

We forget sometimes how fragile life is.

I think becoming a parent is a very brave thing

I don't have kids. It  was (maybe still is) possible, it just was never the "right time", or I was single, and now I am in a stable relationship, but I'm almost too old to start trying (and still isn't a "good time", financially). However, I saw this story a few weeks ago, about a couple with CP who fought, and won, for the right to keep their babythat I found heartwarming. I have CP too, not as severly as the two of them ( mines much like the woman in the video, but my speech is not affected, only slightly if I am nervous or cold). However, it was something I didn;t feel I would have enough support to do, and not enough money, not being a stable realtionship for a good part of my adult life, so it seemd like such a huge feat,.. so I put it off...and now it's getting late.  But I am very happy for them, they set a great precedent too, and glad they will have the support they need. It must have been very traumatic for them to go through not knowing if they are going to lose their baby.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2012/05/04/toronto-cerebral-palsy.html

I just had a loooong talk with my mom.  I hadn't bothered to call and tell her about all the lastest tests, but since she called I let her know.  Since I wasn't really worried about what the problem is (I'm guessing it's just going to be something that is a nuisance and might put me at risk of other things, but nothing major itself) I didn't feel the need to let her know until I actually got some results back.

Now I'm guessing she is worried about my health and just worried about how I'm handling it.  That's just what most moms tend to do I find.

I was going to share something. Had it all typed out...changed my mind. Most moms do, you're right. If I was a mom, I would too I'm sure. I can be pretty  "motherly" with my partner's health issues sometimes. I worry when he doesn't want to see a doctor about something related to his health condition. I worry about something happening to him.  I nag him over it a bit I think, sometimes, as well....which I shouldn't do

Kimmio, sometimes I find guys need the nagging (although sometimes I probably do too, my husband is always way more concerned about taking my epipen along than I am).

I can relate to the idea that health care professionals might be more acutely aware of the fragility of life.  My journey with specialson has compounded that I think.

In the past I have worked as a therapist with people involved in motor vehicle accidents.  I tended to a see a lot of people with complex ortho-trauma injuries. My eldest will be getting his learner's permit soon.  I am fighting the urge to buy a HUMMER!!!!!

lol, DaisyJane.  I get that.

never going to have kids; too expensive, but do enjoy my nephews :3

someone's developing a game where you play a toddler (video with some jump scares)

In West Vancouver, the creepy future of speed bumps

an aquaintance of mine changed psychologically after her first in that she could not watch any tv or movie with a baby crying or in distress -- take that, free will