I think there's some names that are gender neutral, altho sometimes the spelling differs:

Erin/Aaron

Kim

Laurie/Lori

I named my children based on names I liked, although my son's second name is his paternal great grandfather's, who died just shortly before he was born.

My kids names match there genders - at least no one has ever got confused about that.  They each have two names actually, one from my national/cultural background and one from my partners. 

I don't like having to ask if a child is a girl or a boy so didn't use names that are used for both.  However, names are applied differently in different cutural backgrounds and that can provide some difficulty.  Until arriving in Canada I had never heard of a boy named Cla(i)re or Jean nor a girl named Robin or Josh.  But these exist here. 

I have met a child called Apple and many named for cities and geographic features - Chelsea, River, Meadow, Texas, Brook(e), London, Autumn and such like.  I don't particularly like that myself.

The one that most amused me most was a girl named Bishop - she was happy to tell me that her grandmother wanted to be an Anglican priest but wasn't allowed.  Her mother wanted to be one too and she wasn't allowed either.  When a girl baby arrived they thought it would be cool to skip the lowly priesthood idea and claim instant advancement for her!

As much as I don't like prescribed gender roles, I have to admit that I prefer names that are either male or female.  I have no problem with unique or unusual names, but once again I tend to prefer more traditional names.  Our daughter is Rachel Elizabeth, a name which we could probably find on birth certificates 100 years ago fairly easily, I think.  (Actually, it's funny but on my husband's side all the grandchildren have traditional names:  Andrew, Rachel, James, Mabel and Grace.)

My personal pet peeve is complicated spellings for names.  I've probably posted about this before, but I think my name (Sheri) has more different spellings than any other name.  Here's a list of spellings I've seen:

1. Sheri
2. Sherri
3. Sherry
4. Sherrie
5. Sherie
6. Shari
7. Sharri
8. Sharry
9. Sharie
10. Sharrie
11. Cheri
12. Cherie

If we get a little more creative, we also have:

1. Sheree
2. Sharee
3. Sherey
4. Sherrey
5. Sharey
6. Sharrey
7. Sheree
8. Sherree

And, my favourite, if we move towards the ludicrous (but still phonetically correct):

Schairreigh  ;)

I tend to think of it more as a name commonly associated with males or a name commonly associated with females.

Not really - it might surprise me at first, but I get past it quickly.

Only last names - I once came across someone whose last name was Dickout - try saying that one with a straight face!

Even though I have no kids of my own, this is something I have thought about it. I have always thought that I would not want to name them after someone - especially if that person is alive. It seems to me that would create undue pressure on the child to be like that person. I have a few names that I have always loved the sound of that would be high on my list of choices.

[quote]

That turned out to be lots of questions on Christmas Eve!!  Maybe some people will still be responding next year!!

[/quotei

I have another question to add to the list (I hope that's okay with you Kay)! What is the most interesting name you have come across?

Three of my favourites are Ocean, Autumn-Rain (she just went by Autumn) and Amber Skye (she just went by Amber).

I undeerstand that in some cultures (Inuit for example) names are not gender specific.   Grandfather is called (Akna).  He dies.  A baby girl is born - she is named after him (Akna).    In our culture we often associate gender with names - but I think that may be less so than when I was young.  

I think too that we may mentally assign a gender to a name depending on where we first hear that name.  

When I was growing up I knew two people called Jessie.  One was my cousin.  The other was a neighbour.  Both were girls.   Maybe it was short for Jessica but I never (even in school or formal occasions) heard them called Jessica. 

The first Beverly I met was female - a little girl I babysat when I was 12.  

Connie was my playmate. 

Kim was a female movie star.  

Robin as also a girl's name.  

Frances was an older girl who lived near by.  

I've learned since then that all these can be used for either gender, or are move commonly used as boys names - sometimes with a slight variation in spelling (Frances/Francis).  

Sometimes people would add an "ie" or "y" to the end of a name to indicate a girl.  Jack (a boy), Jackie (a girl) - but then I've met little boys called Jackie and that has followed them through life.  

Is Billy-Joe a boy?   And Billie-Jo a girl?

And what about the old friend I met - "Do you have children?"  "Yes, a boy and a girl."    "Aaron and Darcy"  (or was that "Erin and Darcy") come over here and meet my friend.   Two little children dressed in geans and t-shirts come over and stand shyly.  Which is which?

My children have one-sylable, fairly  traditional names (one Biblical) - both spelled the traditional way.   Both grandchildren have two-sylable Biblical names, both with common spelling (although the Americans have simplified the spelling of one (using 'v' rather than 'ph' - my daughter stuck to the English spelling.

I don't mind names that are a bit different.   Occupations seem a favourite in this part of the world:    Mason, Taylor, etc.     Seasons:   I've met Summer and Autumn (different families, different locations, but incidently both were actually born in the spring).   I know a Brooke, and a River. 

But I like a name with dignity.   I know a girl named "Misty".   I try to picture a bank president with the name "Misty Rivers" on her door, or a CEO in a board-room.   Would people take her seriously?   

I remember someone once remarking:   "Can you imagine calling a little baby "George"?"    Yes, easier than I can imagine referring to a bricklayer as "Willow" or a plumber as "Star".  

The consequences of unsuitable names...

Oh, He robbed from the rich

and he gave to the poor.

Stood up to the man

and he gave him what for.

Our love for him now ain't hard to explain.

The hero of Canton

the man they call Jayne.

      Jayne Cobb:  Jaynestown

My thinking tends to go along fairly traditional lines. I wouldn't name a boy Nancy anymore than I would name a girl Robert.

I find it a bit strange. I wonder what the parents' intentions were. 

Some from different countries I have difficulty saying. There have been a few people I've met in life with unusual names -- Nancy Clancy, Phoan Phone, Rebel Brown, to name a few. I've also gotten quite used now to Korean names like Lee Eun Ja and Son Yang Won. 

My son had his name some 16 years at the time I married my wife.

I named my daughter 18 years before she was born.  My husband didn't have a chance in picking that one.

I think sometimes it's just regional variations as opposed to deliberate intentions.

Certainly, still I do wonder when a man clearly has a woman's name, or vice versa. Well, what I mean by that is what I consider to be a woman's or man's name.

Of course, I do realize that not everyone thinks exactly the same way that I do, and that's a good thing. Why, I have all kinds of loopy good thoughts. Like sometimes I dream of horses and rainbows and merry-go-rounds in the sky. Sometimes I think that the earth is a big cookie that some mythical sky monster will come and eat. Crunch! And we'd all be gone.

Well, actually I'm just being a bit silly right now. I suppose that just about every name is good, when well chosen. There are some names I would avoid naming a child, names that are profane and obscene of course, but also I don't really imagine that I'd ever name a kid something like Sock, or Football, or Massachusettes. Although, I don't know, maybe Massachusettes, that's okay.

Well, anyway, I would type more but I have to go do some hooommeewwoorrkk. Love ya, peace out.

There are some gender neutral names-like Mackenzie, Chris, Pat, Jesse/, Jessie, Frances/Frances, Kerry/Carey/Keri

but truly upon meeting most people you do have an indication of there gender.

What I dislike are cutsey names- I've met a Candy Kane. She was about 6.

I like simple names spelt a common way.

I know a man whose first & middle name are names that are commonly used by women, although are also used by men.  He hated his name.  Always.  Still does.  

Oh, I just thought of something that does bug me with names:  First names that are last names and last names that are first names, like Mackenzie Jackson and Jackson Mackenzie.  It gets confusing.

What's the betting she changes her name legally by the time she's 21?!?

Some women (almost all a generation or two ago) change their last name when they get married. Sometimes this can get a bit weird.   We have a Kelly Kelly in this town.   I know a Roslyn who went be Rose until she married Mr. Green.   She didn't like to be called Rose Green - so she asked her friends to call her Ros. 

And with so many names being used for either gender we  will see couples with the same first name.    When Kelly meets Kelly - Jo meets Joe - MacKenzie meets MacKenzie - and Devon meets Devon.  

We had a bit of time naming Little M given that we are a bi-cultural, bi-lingual couple. Do we give him both a Chinese name and an English name? An English first name and a Chinese middle name (or vice versa)? After some research, we ended up finding a name that is a legitimate (though not common) English name that can, using the right combination of characters, be transliterated into a good Chinese name. No gender ambiguity, either. Quite squarely masculine, esp. given it's origins. To that we added a Biblical middle name (long story there).

(N.B. Chinese does not have a set list of given names like many European languages do. You choose a name by assigning characters that have both a good sound and meaning. Obviously, some combinations of characters are going to be more popular than others because of the meaning. Tradition can also enter into it. For instance, all the women in my wife's generation of her father's family have the same character as the second syllable of their given names). 

Mendalla

I think I've told this story before but in Chinese tradition, a woman keeps her family name rather than taking her husband's name. When we married, I suggested Mrs. M follow her culture's tradition (given that our culture has at least partially moved down this road). However, she felt my surname would be easier for English speakers to spell and pronounce correctly so went the "old-fashioned" route of taking my name.

Mwahahahaha.

My last name is actually Welsh and regularly gets mangled both in writing and speaking by English speakers and especially by folks who have English as a second language.

I did warn her.

Mendalla

I wouldn't recommend using Shirley, Beverley, Vivian or any unhyphenated name that requires an "A" a "G" and a "Z" and a "K" to spell in full.  It causes too much confusion  and possible consternation.

Meredith and Leslie are just not nice to give to a guy

Boris or Doris Morris?

If your surname is Budd it would probably be a good idea to avoid flower names - Lilly Budd, Rose Budd etc 

Qwerty you make me remember the old song

Boris look what you've done to me, Boris you'll have to marry me, Boris we'll call her Doris and we'll be Boris and Doris and me.......

I knew several males named Leslie before I met a female Leslie and wondered why she had a guy's name.  

All the people I know named Meredith have been female. 

What about Claire?    Again I  had a male cousins and a friend named Claire when I was growing up.  I also knew several girls named Clara, but not Claire.     I later found out that my cousin's real name was Clarence, but he was always called Claire.   The other boy was actually named Claire.  

What about Allison?   Male or female?   I've known both.

seeler, yes...both are based on who you knew first..and I think folks of your age or older know more males with those names than female.

having said that, having two ambiguous gender names is a tough haul for a kid.

both of my names in real life are very plain names.....but, my mother chose to adjust the spelling to non-standard ones.

made me realize that it was up to me to decide whether it mattered if they knew how to spell my name or not...most times, it does not. 

Also made me realize the presumptions people make....and appreciate those who did not.

My father's first name is so odd that there is always the need to spell it. I know he hated to do so and I didn't like it either. On the other hand, I have a very common first name – and a very common family name – and it sometimes brings confusion. In other words, if your family name is "Doe", don't name your child "Jane" or "John".

Being a French-speaking Canadian living in Québec, I won't comment on specific English-language names, except to say the following. I like:

– Relatively short first names that don't easily lead to surnames. If I wanted my child to be named "Bob", I would name him that way, not Robert.

– Not-too-common first names, so there won't be three of four children with the same first-last-name combo at school

– Standard spellings to make it simple. To take a public figure as an example, the interim leader of the NDP Nycole Turmel has both a common name (i.e. relatively common identity) and an uncommon spelling (i.e. she has to spell it all the time).

– I don't mind gender-neutral names, as long as they are. For instance, I wouldn't mind naming a boy "Dominique" even though 75% of the Dominiques are girls, but I wouldn't name a girl "Claude" because it is used 95% of the time for boys.

I don't like :

– Names that imply the image of cute, tiny, little... or big, brutal, rough... I mean, who knows what that kid will look like when he or she turns 20!

– Boys names for girls and vice versa. It is just an additional cause for teasing, and may be an additional reason for the kid not to like his or her name later.

I would also be mindful of the culture where I live. For instance, if I lived in Vancouver, I would not use a name with accented letters, or a name that we use for boys in French and they use for girls in English (like Jean).

One final tidbit. In a former consulting job, I once metin the same plant Mr. Jean Martin and Ms. Jean Martin. Gives an interesting perspective on the duality of Canada.

It's already happening! At my church we have a couple named Don and Dawn. At the church I grew up in, Pat(rick) was married to Pat(ricia). One of my co-workers, Erin, is dating Aaron. Funnily enough, the only couples I know with the same names are all hetero-sexual. It seems to me that it must happen more frequently with homosexual couples.

when you talk about people with different names, i have relatives that do.  I can tell you they seem to love their names, and are beautiful people.....it's interesting though, not sure if they would have survived in some areas with the names they have.

I am reminded of a little girl I used to know while I was a Brownie leader whose first name was Mary-Stewart. One day of the other little girls in the group asked me, "Why do you always call her by her first and last name?" I had to explain that Stewart was actually a part of her first name! I always predicted that by the time she hit high school she would shorten to simply "Mary" - I wonder if she has.

Having the last name of Brown, I always thought a fun idea would be to name my kids things like...

• Beaver Brown
• Burgundy Brown
• Chestnut Brown
• Khaki Brown
• Tawny Brown

So what happened in real life? I'm now a step-father of a man with a Korean name.

MC - our favourite cat who lived with us for fifteen (give or take) years was named Tawny - a big, yellow-brown (think of a lion), male (neutered).   In his prime he was absolutely gorgeous  (a bit fluffy - perhaps a bit of Maine Coon Cat in him).

I find you can have fun with animal names.  You don't have to worry about how others will react to them, or if they will suit them when they grow up, how will their initials look on their luggage, their name on the office door.  

Interestingly enough Kelly used to be often a man's name. I've noticed that once women start to get a "man's name" it's given to men less and less often. There should be a bunch more examples but at the moment only Leslie and Angel are coming to mind. I bet Jordan will soon join the list though. An interesting aside, my maternal grandmother was named Jonnie.

All in all though, I'd say don't sweat it. Names will go in and out of fashion, just give the kid something you're o.k. with and don't worry about the rest of society.

My husband named his (our) first born son long before he ever met me. Sadly, this baby boy was the first of our two late term stillbirths.  Talk about feeling ripped off. 

My friend asked me to think up some names for their expected daughter. The family names started with A, B, and C. She was looking for a D.  The family are all tall and strong with lots of hair; they remind me of Vikings.  I suggested the name Dana. I have seen it for boys and girls but she liked it and now they have a Dana.

Hi Kay, just saw your thread. I don't like it when people mix up genders in naming. I don't really like it when they use surnames as first names either. Like Taylor, Cameron, etc. I don't really like it when they get creative with spellings either.

We wanted a name that was not common, but also a real boy's name, and from our own culture.

I`d say, until the child gets interesting, calling it iterations of "Little helper", "Pleasant child", "Always helpful" will do nicely :3

Some people have their children's names picked out long before they are conceived, or even before they decide who the other parent will be.  Children decide that 'when I grow up and have a baby I'm going to name it  Flower (or Buster, or whatever).  Teenage girls seem to daydream about the families they hope to have.  Mine was five boys named :   Rex, Ronald, Ralph (and two other R names that I can't remember now.   

Other couples pour over baby named during their pregnancy and agree that:   "If its a boy it will be J---- B-----, and if it is a girl it will be either A-----."    The child is named pre-birth.   Others, perhaps with a few names in mind wait until the birth and then see which name they think suits the baby.   (a friend went into labour thinking she would call her girl 'Amanda' but when the baby was born she decided that 'Jillian' suited her much better.   

Inanna - if I read you correctly, would wait until the child 'is growed a bit' and develops a personality before giving it a name.   Perhaps in a couple more years the child could help pick out his (or her) name.  

And then you have the couples who can't agree on the name, so Dad calls Richard Ashley "Dick" and Mom calls him "Ashley" until he decides that he really prefers Richard, and will punch out the next person other than his mother who calls him Ashley.

Ina, if a child isn't named after birth, the parents may be checked to see if they are bonding.   Naming is generally considered an important part of our societies rituals and done early.  I'm sure you could explain it, but, always good to know why people are wondering if everything is ok

I remember earlier on in my medical transcription career I`d keep on hearing `Baby boy`` and ``Baby girl`` being used as names for babies (and on patient charts as well) and it took me a bit to get it that that is what the doctors were calling the newly delivered child :3

I also remember my sister being kinda anxious after her first child when she thought what she 'should' have been feeling (instant motherly love, connection) wasn't happening :3

seeler, I think that is a nifty idear, letting the child help pick out their name.

Pinga, I grok your statements :3  I'll never have kids myself (much too expensive; $20,000 per year per kid?) so all of my statements are theoretical :3

I realized that I hadn't answered your questions.

Our first child's names were picked before birth.  If a boy, it would be  based on family tradition....and as it was a boy...he got it.  The problem is, the first name was very popular and the woman in the next hospital bed decided that she would call her son the same name, having liked ours so much.  At that point, we remembered the older family tradition of calling every other generation by the middle name...so..he is called by his middle name.  This name is not often shortened, but, sometimes we do anyhow....It has an irish and scottish spelling. he has the irish version.

When we were expecting the twins, we had to pick out two sets of names for both boys & girls...so...that used up a bunch of names.  We ended up having girls..and so they were named after favourite people in our lives.  Had they lived one of the girls would have been called the shortened versions of her name and the other would have kept the long version.

Then, when we had the next late term loss, I called it Aaron/Erin, as either name would be appropriate.

So, then, when expecting our last child, we were really out of names.  I had already gone through 3 sets of girls & boys names.   We agred to go with my husband's irish roots, and include the name of a wonderful young lad in our life.  As he was a boy...he has three irish names...as we knew there wouldn't be any more little ones in our family.  His name is common, and sometimes he shortens it, as do I, though his dad rarely does.

Just a note on Pinga's comments about staff wondering why a baby hadn't been named.

While most people do have names and often name them right after delivery, it isn't uncommon in a hospital setting for a baby to not get named.

You need a name for the birth certificate but there is not rush to do it immediately.  Hospitals do not need a name, the baby will always be identified by the mothers surname for identification and security reasons.  It can cause issues with dads if moms have different surnames and if the baby will ultimately go by the dads name.  but the baby must be matched to the mom who is the patient.

i have sent home several babies who still have no "permanent " name.  I have seen parents try out different names on different days and of course there are cultures that don't name right away.

We had a baby at 26 weeks in our unit and the parents culturally dont' assign a name till the baby is 28 days.  As staff we wanted a name so we started calling him, to ourselves, initials.  Eventually the parents named him using our initials that they turned into a name as they had gotten used to it.

Remember that American skier  , Peekaboo Street I think her name was.  Her parents didn't name her and called her the first word she spoke.  I doubt a babies first word is Peekaboo, more likely  "daaa"  but it was different. 

I prefer that names are assigned for the gender I expect them to be.

Kelly, Leslie, Ashley I expect to be girls.  Jordan to be a boy.  If it's spelled properly to distinguish, or if it's shortened then no issue.  Don/Dawn, Jesse/Jessie, Jamie/Jaime, Aaron/Erin, Dana/Danya are the guy/girl versions I expect.  Pat or Chris I expect are shortened versions.  My preferences probably wouldn't (and shouldn't) affect what parents decide to do though.

I had a friend who had no middle name, as she was allowed to choose it for herself when she was older.  I also know someone who legally changed his first name, because when combined with his last it sounded the same as a beer brand.

When my child was born, the staff pressured us to name the baby before we left the hospital. We wanted to take our time, like we would do with a new pet, see what feels right, get to know him a little. But they pressed us. Maybe they were concerned about bonding. I remember a sheet on a clipboard, where all the boxes had to be ticked before we were allowed to go home. They wouldn't let us go outside for a spin around the grounds with the baby either, afraid we might take off. It was terrible. I feel great disdain for the atmosphere and treatment over those 4 days. I felt judged, they interfered with the natural cource of things. They listened in on us over the intercom! I know because we slagged off a nurse in our irritation, and next time she came in she was hostile, and because I overheard another person's room sounds coming into the nurses station as I was going by once. I had to artificially pull myself together, to get that last box ticked. I wish I'd had a midwife or Doula with me.

But anyway, we are still happy with the names we chose.

Lastpointe, thank-you.   Is it possible that the rules have chnaged?  That would be logical

It is likely that individual hospitals and nurses have different issues and what Elanor cites is truely sad.  Granted i used to always ask the parents of our premies when I saw them for a name as it is fun for staff in NICU to have a name.  a normal postpartum floor of 30 - 40 moms coming and going daily, less so.  It is hard just to remember the surnames.

But i suppose if every nurse asked you , to a mom in the midst of hormonal and emotional upheaval that could seem to be intrusive.

But hospitals don't really have an interest in a baby's given name.  It is not something that is recorded or part of the baby identification. 

Now , it is likely that no name, not much interaction, not much interest., difficulty feeding, lack of affect........ those things can add up to a mom having trouble connecting and in that case staff would definately refer to public health for follow up and be concerned.

Of course now, with healthy maternity stays down to a day or so i think it unlikely.

the days of a healthy mom being in for 3 or more days are long gone.

I believe that you must register a birth with the government with in 28 days. 

Mine wasn't a healthy birth. I had three weeks of bedrest. I was 27. I became very emotional on day 2. I got a home follow up, but the nurse was only checking the baby, for bruises and broken bones! She didn't ask me how I felt. That made me feel worse. 27 was not young to have a baby, yet I felt treated like I were 17.

i am sorry that you had a tough time.  While you feel the nurse was checking for bruises, they were really just doing a well baby check.  It is a rare thing these days but in the past, all babies got home visits and well baby checks.  Now the expectation is that the docs do it at a few weeks of age.

Getitng blue, feeling emotional at 2 days is really normal and usual.  Part of the whole hormonal shift that occurs so suddenly. 

but that doesn't make it any easier to cope with.

I was lucky for my first in a way.  I was toxic so kept in for 3 days and then I had my mom with me for two weeks to help me cope.  And it was hard to cope.  Totally surprised me especially as I worked in the field for 10 years and so knew about caring for new babies.

Thanks Lastpointe. I think I was emotionally oversensitive as I was in such shock. It's very unfortunate, but I felt judged all over the place. I think it was partly heightened sensitivity, and partly real judgement of me as a new mother, mainly from older women. My co-workers weren't like that at all. They were very concerned about me. I also had my mom with me for the first two weeks, which was a mixed blessing. She cooked and did the dishes but she didn't have a clue about baby blues or postpartum depression. She thought I aught to be blissfully happy like she had been. It sure was sudden. Unfortunately I was depressed for quite a long time, and mortified to tell a health professional, convinced they'd take the baby away. I knew about baby blues, and I knew mine had gone on longer than that. Darn it all. I wish it had gone nicely, like I had imagined. It's painfull to remember. It's scarey too how much hormones and chemicals in the brain control how we perceive the world and how we think and feel. I notice my different perspectives/moods even as I go through a normal monthly cycle.

When I got pregnant the first time I picked out a boys name and a girls name. I had a son and he is Keith Peter. Keith because I like the name and Peter after my grandfather. My husband wanted him to be a third and I said not on your life.  The second time I already had a girls name and I had picked out a new boys name If she had been a he the name would have been Philip Robert after my Dad who had died the year my daughter was born and my husband. As it happened I have my Joy-Anne Millicent. Joy-Anne bacause I like it and Millicent after my husband's mother.

I know this has nothing to do with the topic.

On a side remember that some last names in our culture are first ones in other cultures.