chansen's picture

chansen

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Talking to children

I think kids, overall, are wicked smart. They have brains. They think about things. Sometimes, you have to probe a bit with questions to get it out, but the rewards are wonderful.

 

Driving with Claire last weekend to go skiing, we got talking about sports and which ones she liked best. I decided to dig deeper, and ask how she sees herself. Does she see herself as an athletic girl? Does she see herself as a good student? Basically, I wanted to know how she thought of herself. I was curious.

 

She misinterpreted the question, which made it far more insightful and entertaining.

 

"Daddy, I have questions."

 

"What kinds of questions?"

 

"About life and stuff. How did I get here? How did we all get here?"

 

"Well, scientists have discovered a lot of answers that help explain, sweetie, but they're still working on others. Isn't that exciting?"

 

"Why?"

 

"Because maybe you'll have the opportunity to answer some of them."

 

"Oh. Yeah. But it's not only those questions. Sometimes, I don't even understand what the question is."

 

Immediately, I'm thinking that I have to get this kid reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Maybe some Douglas Adams will help her, because it looks like she's going to be asking questions outside my abilities by next year.

 

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jon71's picture

jon71

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Yes, I think her brain is definitely hitting on all cylinders.

carolla's picture

carolla

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I loved car drives with kids - because there are those moments to talk, or just listen, uninterrupted, undistracted.   

 

Sometimes I would respond to such questions by asking the kids in return - what an interesting question - what have you heard about that?  what do you think?   Sometimes my adult interpretations were found to be way off base! 

 

You sure she wasn't asking you a 'birds & bees' question? wink  

 

I'm glad you're writing these things down - they are "keepers" for sure!   Thanks for sharing too.  Claire's a great thinker - no surprise coming from that gene pool! 

Saul_now_Paul's picture

Saul_now_Paul

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Kids are smart.

 

Sounds like she intuitively know there is a God, and, like you say, in a year, you will have run out of BS to feed her, So the next best thing is hook her on science fantasy.

Saul_now_Paul's picture

Saul_now_Paul

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When my son was about 3, his mother ran into him coming out of the spare room, which nobody really spent much time in.

 

She asked him what he was doing in there, to which he replied, "Talking to Jesus".

 

That set her back, because at that point in our lives, neither one of us were talking to Jesus. He was the first in our family baptized. Now we all are.

InannaWhimsey's picture

InannaWhimsey

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chansen,

 

our kids will constantly amaze us

 

Saul_now_Paul,

 

that's cool :3

 

i think its easy, actually, to talk to Jesus (or whatever other deities etc are 'out there')...its also easy, i think, to give in to 'its happening in my head so it isn't real at all', which is a shame...

 

*chuckle* just remembering one time when i was looking at a water stain on the ceiling i could feel someone/something wanting to get into contact with me but i resisted, saying the mental equivalent of 'not now, please'.  when i left that house i found out that there indeed was a roof leak...

 

have you seen how 'psi' is mainstream now?  totally cool beans :3

 

how'd your son react to being bappertized?  did he giggle at all or play with the water?  that's what i did when i got bappertized at the TSA in PDX...stood up with my hands raised in the scanner, spun around singing hands up baby hands up in the scanner...

chansen's picture

chansen

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Saul_now_Paul wrote:

Kids are smart.

 

Sounds like she intuitively know there is a God, and, like you say, in a year, you will have run out of BS to feed her, So the next best thing is hook her on science fantasy.

LMAO. Yeah, that must be it.

 

Actually, Claire is well aware that "I don't know" is an acceptable answer, and that not knowing something isn't a weakness -  it's an opportunity.

 

The chances that she'll be religious, given that she is not being indoctrinated into any religion and is learning to question claims, is very low.

 

Pinga's picture

Pinga

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You presume that all of us that are religious were indoctrinated, Chansen.

 

In my case, that is not the situation.  Parents didn't attend church.  I kinda went to choir for a bit , but was the only one.

 

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Car rides are the best for questions/answers, with dish washing close to it. The captive audience that is not sitting across from you, looking in your eyes, works well with youth and adults alike.

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Anyhow, I was reading Heinlein "stranger in a strange land" etc at an early age.  The library would only let me read science fiction from the adult section when we moved at age 7 to "Galt".  I am sure that the devouring that I did of sciFi in those days:  Bradbury, Asimov, Heinlein, etc, set my idea of a clear set of answers on its ear.

 

 

chansen's picture

chansen

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All I'm saying is that without indoctrination, her chances of believing are lower.

 

seeler's picture

seeler

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I agree, car trips can be great places to talk with kids (or adults), if you can get them to put their electronics away - preferably in the trunk. 

 

Chansen, you don't need anyone to tell you that you have a smart little girl - and a real thinker.   I like her questions.  Like many people over time and cultures she is asking questons and looking for answers.  And you have pointed her to science.

 

I think my response would have been a bit different.  Maybe something like -

 

Those are good questions.  Lots of people have thought about them - they've looked for answers in art, poetry, stories, philosophy, and science.  And they've found some answers, and others are still a mystery.  Maybe you will be the one to find more answers.  But always there will be more questions to ask, and more answers to look for, and more things to learn. 

 

I would leave the way open for her to explore in many different fields.

 

 

Jim Kenney's picture

Jim Kenney

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Two Sundays ago, the person doing the children's story had a bag which she claimed contained everything we need to know.  She then asked each of the children if they believed her.  The one who is 9 said, "No".  When asked why, she said, "Because you are not dead.  As long as we are alive, we have stuff to learn."

seeler's picture

seeler

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Smart kid.  Do you know what she had in the bag?  

Pinga's picture

Pinga

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Last night I was out with folks for dinner.  We were laughing and having a good time, sharing stories, old friends catching up & ribbing each other.

 

At the table next to us, there was a woman and her two children.  She was on a tablet throughout dinner, her one child was on a "gameboy" type handheld device, and the other was on their smartphone.

 

Though I am a tech, that made me sad.

 

(i am with seeler, there are times to lock up the tech toys)

carolla's picture

carolla

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I feel sad too when I see these moments pinga.  

crazyheart's picture

crazyheart

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There you go Carolla. "The room has left the building".

carolla's picture

carolla

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indeed crazyheart - good connection (and I mean no pun!) I had not thought of that, but you are quite right.

InannaWhimsey's picture

InannaWhimsey

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Pinga wrote:
Anyhow, I was reading Heinlein "stranger in a strange land" etc at an early age.

 

coolies, so you managed to avoid some of the pitfalls of religion?

 

i offer you water...

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