This was triggered by the thread about kids making choices at the counter of a fast food restaurant.

It seemed to me that making choices and placing orders are part of socialization.  The parents aren't always going to be around to speak for the kid.  Give them some practice in a comfortable, safe situation.

I think kids should be encouraged to speak for themselves if they are comfortable doing it.  If they aren't confident to do it then some role playing games could proove useful.  Mine ordered there own meals (we discussed how much money could be spent before entering).  They talked directly to the doctor, dentist etc from about age 6 (varied a bit from kid to kid), with a parent in the room.

Until they could drive appointments were made by a parent who checked with the child for conflicts with sports etc.  After that they did there own phoning.

I have started to give Rachel the opportunity to order her own food and answer questions, but she's pretty reluctant to say anything so far (she'll be 4 in November).  I definitely give her more time to say it herself when there is no one waiting, but when there is a line up behind us I give her a couple of seconds, then order for her.

 as long as they have the "Please" and "Thank You" parts down pat.  

Besh - you are only partly right.  Many children (and adults) do learn by observation.  Some don't - especially if they are shy by nature, or have been taught not to speak up for themselves (Let me do the talking), or lack self-confidence.

A quick for instance.  I am a senior so I have been around for a long time and had ample opportunity to observe.  I've gone through the drive-through at Tims, MacDonalds, etc. with other people on many occasions.  Recently I was alone in the car and decided to get a coffee.  As I drove up to Tim Hortons I suddenly realized that I had never been the driver when going through the drive-through, I had never placed the order.  There wasn't a great long line up, only four or five cars, but I parked and went in and got my coffee.  If it is difficult for a person my age who has never been encouraged to do it, imagine how difficult it might be for a child.  Especially if that child has always been told "Don't talk to strangers."   "Children are to be seen and not heard."  or "Let me take the orders."

I agree that speaking up in such a manner is an important life skill that is entirely worthwhile to teach & practice.   I recall often redirecting questions about my child to my child.  Indeed this even extended to my husband sometimes, when he would ask me questions about the kids wishes or activities & I would suggest to him that he needed to ask them ... he learned. 

I do also think it's important to be respectful of others time constraints in such situations, as the fast food example.  I would stand away from the line, read & sort out with the child what their choices are, then get in line & have them speak up - not delay the entire line during the reading & decision making process.   Teaching children this respect for others is also part of the process IMO.

 Agree Carolla.  They need to practice how to do things before they do.

WE used to role play scenes before we would go.  Especially at the doctor.

I would give them questions the doc would ask and they would practice what to say.  Many adults find it intimidating to speak to others who are in an official role and kids are no different.

I do think young kids need to be encouraged to speak to adults in a polite way and how to answer questions.  Of course lots of adults need to practice how to speak to children although they wont'