You ask questions which are best answered by a lawyer. Much depends on your provincial law and your own separation agreement with your ex. The issue is also not what your son is able to do legally, but what YOU are required to do as the responsible, custodial adult. Perhaps the key question to ask a lawyer is "If I travel outside of Canada for a month, what are my responsibilities towards my son?"

Personally, at sixteen, (and I have six kids) I would never leave them unaccompanied or living on their own for more than a night. I would have a responsible adult live with them in their home for any longer period of time, and I would keep in touch regularly.

 There are lots of different ages and I believe they do vary by province.  For instance in Ontario kids can't drink till 19, not 18.

Having had two teens i would never go away and leave them.  They may be the best kids in the world but the temptation to have friends over is too huge and once word is out that there is a home with no adult in it  ........  every teen in town will be crashing and partying at your place and your son would have no way of dealing with it.

If you must go away and he can't go with you ( that would be my choice, take him to see family) then I agree that a lawyer should be consulted as to him living with his dad or a friend for a month.  Keep in mind it is a big responsibility to care for someone elses teen for a month.

When friends were away for a week they had me stay with their boys, who had asked for me.

My sons were left alone for a month, with adult friends near by, and with some time with their mother.  No problems.

At 16, not very mature. I remember 16. I still needed my mom to look after me, though I was getting into trouble. Then there was Germany when I was 15, and the drinking age then was 16, which I easily passed for and got drunk for the first few times there, at the discos and pubs. Tequila? OK! Blue Curacau? OK! Baileys? OK!

I tried to have a party at 17 when my Mom was away once, and so few people showed up, and left so soon, I felt very lame. So I got drunk by myself and felt even worse.

Even at 19, Mom went to Hawaii for 2 weeks, and I got freaked out by the phone ringing and no one being on the line, so I talked to the operator for a while, and she calmed me down.

But at 16, any kid I knew at school who didn't have the loving parent I had, I felt really sad for. I knew I needed her, though I didn't want to admitt it, and I was doing some adult things (I had a job), I was pretty helpless, vulnerable and reckless.

That was me, I don't know what your son is like. They're not all like me.

At the end of the day, it all depends on your judgement about your son's maturity. Is

Hi everybody,

I am not sure how you came to the conclusion I would leave my son alone for a month. I wish I had a month uninterupted vacation to take, though.

I suppose asking a lawyer would be the best bet, I was thinking that family services might know this too. After all, he would still be with his Dad, so not home alone for any length of time.

When I was 17, I traveled Europe with my best friend. A collegue said she wouldn't let her 16 year old take the public bus on her own...

mrs.anteater - I didn't realize that your son was 16 already.  Boy they do grow up in a hurry don't they.  Next year, when you are considering your trip to Europe he will be 17. 

A generation or so ago, in my part of the country, many girls were married (with parental consent) by the time they were 17.  So were a few of the boys.  Before my 18th birthday I took a train alone to Montreal, found a job and a room and was on my own.  We are not talking about a child here - but an almost adult.   Some kids graduate from highschool at 17 and will soon be off on their own looking for work or to attend university.  

You are right, the age of majority varies from province to province.  Usually it is either 18 or 19.  In NB it is 19 - to vote in a provincial election, to sign a legal contract, to buy and consume alcohol (although younger persons consuming it in their own home with their parents present and consenting is a grey area), to have control over inherited money.   But in NB a young person can vote in a federal election at age 18.   And 16 gives certain other rights and responsibilities.  You can obtain a driver's license at 16.    I think you can consent to sex.  You can work, without your parents giving permission (teens between 14 and 16 can work at fast food for example if their parents sign permission.  I also think that at 16 school attendance is no longer manditory.  And I also understand, unless the laws have changed recently, that your parents can kick you out of the house, or you can leave of your own accord.  That puts you in a grey area - no longer living at home, but unable to sign a lease (legal contract), or get a credit card or buy a winter coat on time (something I ran into that first year when I tried to buy a coat at Sears). 

How long you can legally leave a 17 year old alone?   If I were considering it I might want to seek legal advice but I really don't think it would be against the law to leave them for a week, a month, or an extended period.   Would it be advisable?   In today's complicated world - probably not.  I'd say a weekend now and then would be reasonable - possibly a week - especially if you had a good friend, neighbour or family member living nearby and checking on them, or available if they needed help or advice.  

Things to consider:   does he know how to look after himself?  cook and clean up? do his laundry?    What will he do for money?   Will he need to buy groceries and how will he pay for them?   Will he have the use of the car while you're away (not my car!)   If not, what will he do for transportation?   What about a medical emergency? What about household expenses - is the water, sewerage, phone, cable, power, etc paid up until after you intend to return?  

In your case your son will be supervised by his father so many of these questions may not apply. 

The important thing to remember is that we are not talking about a child here - at 17 he is on the cusp of adulthood and needs and deserves to be treated as such.

Well, I hope you do get to go Mrs Anteater. I look forward to going back myself one day. My Dad always wanted to go but his partner does not, so he hasn't.

Yeah, different times, different parents, different natural maturing... I had a friend who traveled Britain and Holland with her big sister at 17, then on her own to Ireland, and judging by her letters, the stretch she was on her own she got into trouble, was unhappy, and I realized not mature enough yet. I felt guilty as I had encouraged her to go. I think 16 on the bus is no problem! I loved taking the bus. I always felt safe on a bus, as if the driver had a sword stashed away and could gallantly protect me if ever needed!! But drinking aside, my trip to Germany at 15 was a big maturing experience for me. One month and I came back a different girl. I never knew what the age of consent for sex was, it didn't matter!

I really don't think 14 year olds should work though, unless they are homeless and really need it.

Legally, you are required to arrange appropriate care.  Your ex may not have custody, but neither would a neighbour, and there is no reason your son couldn't go stay at the neighbours for a shortish trip.

Yes, Children and Family Services (or whatever it is called there) will be able to give you the legal answer, and there isn't really any reason not to ask. And they will be a lot cheaper than a lawyer.

How mature are they at that age?  That depends on the young adult in question.  I seem to remember a very wide range of maturity among my friends at that age.  Some will certainly be able to be on their own.  Some won't.  (And I realise that you haven't said he would be on his own completely).

Thank you, seeler,that was helpful.

I think it's not the teen alone who needs maturing, it's the parent, too. A friend just recently asked my son to back up her car on the driveway- and I had to hold my breath (he didn't have any lessons yet).

Maturing is something that happens gradually and over the years to come and experience is the key to learning. In some ways, it is also a matter of luck, not to have to deal with situations that are beyond your abilities at that time.

When I was traveling with my friend, I had another guest of the B&B we stayed at sneaking into our room and crawling into my bed in the middle of the night. I was lucky he didn't rape me, but left when I turned on the light and asked him to leave.

It is more likely that my son would have to look after his dad than the other way around- he is so disorganized. Again, a possibility for learning.

Seeler,

I try to think of my son as an "almost adult" and there are certainly times where this is very obvious, but there are others when I feel he is just 4 1/2, having a temper tantrum.

that is the teenager.  adult one minute raging toddler the next.  hormones, friends, independance and fear all rolled into one.

Your son is only one of the concerns though.  the behaviour of his friends is an issue too.  as well as the behaviour of the "group" in the arrea.

Hell yeah, the friends is a big concern. Well it's a big mystery to me what parenting a teen will be like. I'm still a few years off that. My son is turning ten soon. My own teenagehood is still closer to me than his.

I did  leave mine alone at 16 for a night-with neighboours/friends keeping a watchful eye. (Usually just leaving 1 taking the other 2)

I left my 3 for 4 days at 17, 15 and 13 with prepared meals and friends of mine coming in for dinner 1 night. They were fine-I was in Vegas on a course.

The next year when I was gone for  8 days-and further away- my parents stayed with them.

At 16 I was mature enough (or maybe milquetoast enough) to not get into any trouble if I was left alone (I never was at that age) but I think I was sheltered to the point I probably couldn't have done much in an emergency either.

Yes, the emergency  situation, that's the question. When I was a teen, someone tried to break into our house while we were at home, watching TV. They distracted my Dad at the garden gate, asking for an address, while someone tried to pry open the door. They didn't get it open, but when my dad went back into the house, the lock was all twisted. It was very scary imagining what might have happened if they had succeded.