One of the things I do at work when I see children wasting food is to get them to take it home with them instead of throwing it in the garbage. Often they are throwing it away because they don't like it. I explain that if they throw it in the garbage, their parents may think that they have actually eaten it - and may choose to pack it again. If they take it home, their parents are given the opportunity to engage their child in a conversation about why they did not eat the food.

I also always ensure that the child has enough to eat. If they don't like their main item, I'll make a bargain with them - something like, "once you've eaten half your sandwich you can eat your apple and your yogurt." Treat items are never a part of this bargain.

Today I noticed a lot of water being wasted when we were outside. Each afternoon we bring out a big container of water to our playground to the children to drink. I saw the kids starting to throw it at each other, so I patiently explained that this water was for drinking and that if we wasted it someone who was thirsty later would not have anything to drink, and then I stood close by and monitored the children for the next few minutes as they poured themselves cups of water.

One of my jobs involves going to the home of a child with special needs and getting her up Monday - Friday. I started to notice that her little brother (aged 5) had been wasting a lot of food in the mornings. His parents would make him too much food - in case he was hungry. He would also often pour most of his juice down the sink. His parents don't make a lot of money, so wasting food is not something they can really afford. I started with them - pointing out that they were making him breakfasts that were as large as the ones that they were making for themselves even though he's half their size! I suggested that if they made him a smaller breakfast, they could ask him if he was still hungry at the end of it - and then make him something else if necessary. The next time I spotted the little boy pouring apple juice down the drain, I explained to him that apple juice costs a lot of money and that Mommy and Daddy work really hard for that money. I also said that if he didn't drink the juice in the morning, he would probably be really thirsty for it later in the day. The conversation seemed to have really worked - they don't make the breakfasts as large as they used to, and now the boy finishes everything on his plate almost every day. He also proudly tells me when he's finished drinking his juice every day!

Some really good thoughts here somegal.   I'm pleased to hear that you seem to be making headway on this.  My own chidren don't seem to care about the wastage in their homes - "I can afford to let him/her throw out what they don't want - no big deal.  I don't want him/her to feel POOR". 

The grandkids are fine when I have them at my house without parents - they have modest servings and ask for seconds if still hungry.  I don't allow them to help themselves to milk or juice as they spill too much - the containers are heavy for tiny hands.

My children I am trying to train but my husband I am  having a hard time with.  I also ask my kids what they want in their lunch. I don't run out and buy their favourite dainty but they choose out of what we already have.  If they only want two items then they're going to be pretty hungry by 3pm.  But I won't send them with food that they won't eat.

Meanwhile I try to save and be frugal with my husband and he either rolls his eyes or gets annoyed or thinks it's funny. I would love to send the whole lot of them on a missions trip to a developing country.

My mom grew up with the "waste not want not" ethic. She always made sure I didn't waste food. If I didn't like what I was served, tough, I sat there until I ate it all. My parents split up when I was 8 and my dad re-married. I remember my step-mother saying"If you don't like it you don't have to finish it." As a kid, this was a tremendous relief to be at my dad's place, but I got spoiled.

To this day, my mom saves the left overs and uses them all up...makes soup with turkey bones...at my dad's place, they throw away the left-overs. It bothers me. My partner and I "buy as we go"...we have staples like flour and spices and oil in the cupboard, but buy groceries day by day to avoid waste...because we were finding that with varied schedules a lot of vegetables were getting spoiled etc.

I wonder if it is not a kid thing to fill up the glass?   When I had foster kids I used smaller plates and smaller cups and glasses.  Cookies I allowed two.   I find kids in general are not good with portion control and waste food.  I am not sure if that is something that has to be taught or just done by adults until they get it.

Personally, I buy groceries a couple times of week and buy precisely what I need with some exceptions.  Like I can't buy four pieces of bread if I plan to have two sandwiches.  But I freeze the bread.

Speaking of  waste another thing I'm trying to do is cut down on the amount/ variety of  cosmetic/ personal grooming and household cleaning supplies I buy because I seem to end up with too many almost used up bottles of stuff cluttering up the cupboard and using too much plastic. I bought a multi-purpose liquid soap from the healthfood store called "Dr. Bronner's". It has a bunch of weird and wacky slogans all over the bottle that I don't take seriously, but they are curious. I use it for bathing ( a little goes a long way) and household cleaning, have used it for dishes...I read it can leave oil stains on laundry so I haven't used it for that...it's pure vegetable oil based soap. I use that or biodegradable  liquid laundry soap and baking soda to clean the bathroom and to clean the kitchen sink.

There is a show on TV...a couple of British ladies who go to peoples' really dirty houses and have ingenious cleaning uses for common items found in the house. You can use room temperature tea, the Earl Gray type, to clean glass and mirrors. You can use a lemon sliced in half lengthwise with some baking soda on it to scrub the tub. You can use thick coffee to polish wood. It's pretty neat, non- wasteful and economical. Plus...vinegar is good for household cleaning and first aid...a good grease cutter, germ killer, and astringent...but it doesn't smell too nice. I cleaned the windows with it once and didn't find it too pleasant.

One more thing about waste.. I'm .trying not to use too much water...taking shallow baths or low water showers: rinse...turn off water...soap up...rinse. Sure, it's nicer to take a long hot shower or soak in a filled up tub...but I decided it's a treat not a necessity.

...I`m sorry. I just realized this was a parenting discussion. I found it in the recently active column last night and just went looking for it to follow up .  I hope my comments were not totally irrelevant!

Kimmio...

Your comments are never Irrelevant. Your thoughts on the issue of Wastefulness behaviour are welcomed here. Many of the things you spoke of can easily be applied to children or young people.

​*Peace - Love - Respect* Unconditionally

Wolfie

To me waste is disrespectful - even if you can afford to throw stuff out, it shouldn't be wasted.   Little things - big things.

I cook two potatoes for supper - one if its big (2/3 for Mr. Seeler; 1/3 for me).   I pour 1/2 glasses of milk.  I eat my left-overs (if there are any).  And I drive a car until it is worn out (or Mr. Seeler insists on a trade).   I live in a modest house.  Most week's I don't have enough garbage to bother taking it to the curb - I wait another week or two until the container is half full.  I recycle.  At one time I composed.   I didn't even waste my backyard - I had a vegetable garden until this year.  I've noticed that a choke cherry bush has grown up with my back hedge, and I'm wondering how I can use the choke cherries.

But my grandchildren!   No idea of serving size - big glasses of milk - cereal bowls heaped with ice cream.   And often 1/2 of it gets thrown out (or given to the dog or cat).   Clothes are worn for a couple of hours and thrown in the laundry rather than hung carefully to be used again.   The same with towels.   When I was growing up, we all used the same towel.  When I was raising my children we had separate towel racks and colour coded towels - and towels were reused until wash day. 

We turned lights off - and only turned on the radio or TV if we wanted to watch a particular show.   At their place (and mine if I am not strict about it) they turn on the TV or the computer and walk out of the room.  

And in my world, usable items that I no longer need, don't go to landfill.  I have a yard sale, or donate to the church rummage sale, or to charity.   As long as it is usable there is someone worse off than me who might make use of it.  

Well stated Seeler!

A lot of it does come down regarding food to portion size. We have been told over the years that we must eat Bigger portions to be healthy. Meals the size of phone books. And yet, what if all we need is the portion the size of a paperback novel. To eat more than is truly required is indeed a waste. Like you, I've gotten my Spouse into the habit of portion sizing meals. We sometimes miss the mark, but, working on making it a normal routine around here.

I agree with if something is still usable give it to someone in need of it. Less in the landfill is less stress on the Earth.

​*Peace - Love - Respect* Unconditionally

Wolfie

towels!

we reuse towels till wash day, all of us.  I bet now that my kids live alone they get washed rarely.

After all, when you dry yourself off you are clean so the towel just gets damp.

but my nieces toss them out after each use.  I could never understand why my sister in law allowed it.

Portion size for kids is important.  Smaller glasses and plates helps.

It is also obscene the portions that are served in restaurants and the amount of good food that s thrown out because they give too much.

Seeler I am right with you.  I try my dangest but I am outnumbered though.  Sadly my kids are picking up wasteful habits and food fussiness from their dad.

I suppose my big problem is 'keeping my mouth shut'!  It really isn't my business how my adult kids run their home and budget.  At MY house I set the rules and mostly things work quite well (in my eyes anyway!).

When you say that they "don't want their kids to feel poor" , I wonder if there are feelings/ experiences from their childhood they haven't worked out for themselves yet. Have you ever talked to your kids about how they felt as kids? Maybe they are overcompensating.

All my kids are wasteful but it is actually only one who values 'looking rich'.  That one doesn't want the youngsters to think they may not be rich enough for the way they are living. (In my opinion they aren't)

We have often talked about the years when our children were still children - and their views as adults caused a bit of discussion.  One claims that childhood was nothing but work and going without and being embarrassed because the jeans didn't always have the 'right' label on them - the others recalled happy times, camping holidays, special gifts, homemade birthday cakes, friends being welcome in the house, adventures with the canoe and so on. 

I don't know where Granddaughter gets her ideas.  I do know that her middle school draws kids mainly from the more affluent parts of the city (with a few working class like us), while the other three middle schools draw from more working class and underprivileged areas.   Many of her friends have both parents working at professional or government jobs.  Her best friend's father is a surgeon and her mother is a lawyer.   So I'm sure she is influenced.  Next year she will be attending high school, and kids from her school will mix with those from the down town area school - so she might have more exposure to kids from various backgrounds and family situations.

But she told her mother that she expects a car for her 16th birthday (2 years away).   I wonder if she ever wonders why her mother's car is six years old and piling up the mileage, and her father spends so much time repairing his old truck that he needs for work.

She also told me this week that she thinks $500 would be a reasonable amount for her parents to spend on each kid for Christmas.   Doesn't she ever think about the fact that I cook one meal a week (partly to relieve my daughter of the work - but also a way to help out on their grocery order), and the fact that the two sets of grandparents are going to divide the after school care for her little brother to save on daycare costs. 

We don't want her worrying about finances.  We can do that ourselves.  But when do teenagers start to learn the facts of life (not sex but economic reality)

When your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall. 

You can never start too early teaching young people about money. I understand that you don't want to worry young people about finances, however, you are doing them a disservice by trying to shelter them from it. A family is a family, each is a part of it and should be included. How can they learn if they are not a part of it.

I don't know if young people still get allowances or not. But, that is a good way to teach them about finances and how to manage them. Especially if they are using their own money to buy things for themselves. They learn about budgeting and saving and planning ahead for saving up to purchase something they may want. They feel more if they work towards and buy it with their own money. And they learn valuable financial lessons along the way that will serve them for the rest of their lives.

Young people may not obviously noticed and know (Some do but not all) that things aren't all roses and daisies. Take the time to sit down with them and talk about why mom still drives a beat up old car or why dad fixes his own truck. Talk to them about why mom and dad aren't wearing the latest fashions or fancy clothes. Young people would rather be included than excluded.

It is no appropriate for some to expect or demand that people pay X amount of $'s on someone, especially if that is something that is not a financial option. They should be grateful for whatever anyone gives no matter if it's a Porsche or a Bicycle. When did it change from being: It's the thought that counts to... It's the $'s amount that counts?

​*Peace - Love - Respect - Humility* Unconditionally

Wolfie

Seeler - your grandaughter sounds a lot like my demanding child who grew into an adult who truly seems to think that there is an entitlement to the goods wanted.  Poor kid wants/expects a car for her birthday?  I would have been tempted to laugh and reply "So would I but I'm not holding my breath while I wait!.  If there is money for a new vehicle dad is first in line as his truck is slowly dying"

We shared information about money flow with our kids - asking for their input on some decisions.  Our occasional holidays were a good opportunity for this (there is 'this much' money - where would we like to go,  should we camp or motel, do we want to do touristy things or hike and laze around, how much will the gas cost etc).  I showed the demanding one our budget and asked for input about where we could maybe manage better.   The response was not much help - it was hard for a youngster to grasp the necessity of paying property taxes, insurance etc.  At that time too the kid didn't want to accept that all the money was to be shared around rather than all being spent to meet the demands of one.   A car was asked for but not purchased - mine was shared with teen kids. 

Sometimes I think that we get what we get when our kids join the family.  One of mine arrived on the scene with a materialistic streak.  As parents we did what we could do and accepted the criticism.  That particular kid remains materialistic and critical of parents who 'don't look rich enough'.

I think you are right on with that. Sometimes it plays a role where in line the siblings are- my oldest sister seemed to have always felt to have missed out - which at one point had my mother apologize to me for not providing enough- which surprised me completely, because I never felt that way... there are emotional things going on between siblings that sometimes express themselves in attitudes towards material things.....

Junior Anteater will start High school at a school where girls spend several hundred dollars for Prom dresses and drive to Prom in Limousines. He is going into Grade 10 now. I already told him, that if he finds this to be a necessity for his future Prom, he better get a job soon and start saving. I think it's important job for parents to teach their kids reality and strengthen them to be different. I would be shocked if he ends up hanging out with people who would find it important to "fit in"in a material sense.

So far, being "non -Canadian", he's been different anyway, hanging out with others on the "edge' of the peer groups. Not a bad place to be.

I think my daughter is catching on to the necessity of pointing out there is a limited amount of money available - maybe a bit late.  Last spring she told Granddaughter that she had $100 for her junior prom outfit.  Choose a dress for more and she'd have to pay the extra herself (babysitting, allowance).  Choose one for less and she'd have some money for shoes - otherwise she'd have to make do with what she had. 

They found a stunning hot pink short dress marked down to $60 (less than 1/2 price).   And then they found shoes for $30.    

I'm not sure who paid for the hair stylist.  A friend did her makeup (and that of her richer friend).   She looked stunning.

Fortunately for junior prom they don't have to arrive by limo or helicopter.   Their parents drive them to the park and they do a grand parade to the gym turned into ballroom. 

Kay, I would echo mrs.anteater.  The comment, and the way you accented it, makes me wonder if the kids are reacting to how they felt.   Often times, we teach more by example than by speaking....especially speaking against.

Although all my kids spend money very freely on non-necessities, only one is concerned about appearing rich.  Maybe, as has been pointed out, it is a reaction to feelings let over from childhood.  Bottom line seems to me be that my kids are now adults and must deal with their own feelings as best they can.

Seeler, I expect that your granddaughter may be influenced by her wealthier friends but also by everything around us.

It is to be expected at that age that they want all the stuff they can get.

I would be pretty open with her about finances if i were your daughter.  And i woudln't be afraid to say that something cannot be afforded.

The Car?  Teens want cars.  They like the idea of cars.  So help her look for one in the paper, then get a quote on insurance, then figure out mileage and gas costs with her.

Ifshe were aware that all the costs of the car would fall to her and that she would be working 20 plus hours a week to afford to drive it, she would not be too interested.

There will be friends who get cars.  But they will be rare, even in wealthy families.

Teens need to understand finance.  Insurance costs, food costs, mortgage costs, vacation costs, gifts, clothes..........  

At that age i gave my children a monthly allowance.  Spend it as you will.  No more after it runs out.  It helped them learn to budget money to last.  It is also helpful to start to look at new purchases in terms of money earned.

You want that new shirt for $40?  How many hours of babysitting is that?  5 or 6?  is it worth 5 or 6 hours of work to get one shirt or can we get this one for $20?  .......

I can't stand seeing food go to waste. It is not something that happens very often in my household of four or should I say five if I include the dog. The down side of this is we tend to over eat. The only one who doesn't is the dog who is probably the most fit. We really need to work on portion control.

I had a job starting when I was 14 and out of my group of friends only one other person had a job before 18. The two of us are both independent in terms of money and struggle sometimes to pay our bills. Our other friends now have jobs but from what I can tell still don't understand the concept of budget and real need for money. There has been more than once that they question when I say I cannot come with them to this or that because it costs too much.

So my adivce Seeler would be for your granddaughter to get a job. An allowance is good but it still allows the possibility of asking mom for more money and (hopefully she wouldn't) but some parents just give in. You can't ask your boss for more money without working for it.

Bethany  - good advice.  Except it won't work in my daughter's case.  They live too far out of town - no bus routes, and taxis would be prohibitively expensive - they can't even get pizza delivery.   Unless her work schedule coincided with her mother's,  her mom (or dad)  would have to drive her in and back home - an extra burden (and gas) for her.  She does do quite a bit of babysitting - sometimes she gets picked up - always driven home.  

Next summer they will balance the pros and cons of getting a job.  Maybe she'll have to stay in town with us if she has to work evenings (many teenage jobs seem to be in the service industry).     Once she is sixteen she will have more options - working at a summer camp and living on site, or arranging for rides with co-workers and friends (but we feel that she is too young and immature for that yet). 

I  remember that was one of the criteria we used when looking for a house when our children were in school.  It had to be within walking or biking distance or on a bus route so they could get to school, the mall, the parks and sports fields, etc. and not be depending on us - or newly licensed friends - for rides.  I don't know if my daughter thought of that when she agreed to buy outside (but near) the city.  That 20 minute drive is not something you want to do two or three or four times a day.