Hi Pog,

Interesting thought, and I dont know if this makes sence to You and the others here on this thread, But It has been some thing that I have thought about myself for some time, and I will tell You that I have found by watching My two girls grow that, Life has a way Of doing that To childern Just by what they experiance In day to day Life but more so, what they are told by there peers !

IE: When do they learn that Santa is not real, or that the Tooth Fairy is just Your Mom or Dad, or one that Hits home that promises are broken, be it for what ever reason, all they know is that they were promised some thing and that person did not come thru for them !!! Its hard to say what if anything can be done to prevent it, but It happens !!!! With My Girls I know that when Thier hearts are effected in a negative way It scars Thier Minds and souls, leaveing them to question what they have been taught as childern in the stages of Innocence !!!

For what its worth Its Not some thing that You have done, It just happens !!!
Love them and let them know that You will never leave them and You will always be there to listen !!!!

Just My meandering thoughts,
Sandel

That would be awesome if we could all be that innocent. as for when they learn I don't think I can pin down a date but i think when parents listen to the radio they hear about all the violence and then they listen to thier parents talk about how hopeless it all is. So it's not all the parents fault.

My thought is that it's when they get hurt enough times and find no-one to turn to that cynicism finds its way in. I am quite cynical in many respects and I recognize it's a response to hurt. On my better days, my faith finds me but on those bad days, I am totally suspicious and cynical.

As a parent, you want to protect them, but also teach them to be able to protect themselves ou t in the world. I find its a tough balance.

Pog said:
"As a parent, you want to protect them, but also teach them to be able to protect themselves out in the world. I find its a tough balance."

Very true. I sometimes feel caught between wanting to leave their innocence and naivite in the world intact vs teaching them to protect themselves. I know 'street proofing' my son (now almost 5) was really difficult. But necessary. Otherwise, he'd go off with anyone. He's such an innocent and seeing him realize that not everyone out there has his best interests at heart? Chipped away at my soul a little bit. Does this make any sense?

As late as possible. Seriously, while some cynicism is probably healthy, too much is a big problem. I see no reason to rush it.

DanaR - I hear you. It is necessary. We live in a big city and you can't even let your kids go to the park without supervision. I long for the days when parents didn't have to worry about such things.

I am very worried about all the violence our young children are being exposed to via the T.V., xbox games, and society in general as the above poster stated. Cartoons are violent too....LOL. There's much debate going on in the big cities right now regarding young people shooting and killing each other on an ongoing basis. There are a myriad of reasons. Violent xbox games are suspect.

I am a believer in : 'Mind is the builder. What you feed grows'. Children are like sponges absorbing a great deal of what they see and hear all around them.

Not everyone has the financial means but it is a good idea for children to be involved in real life activities away from T.V. etc. as much as possible.They do hear us talking too! We aren't always speaking and thinking positively! Monkey see....Monkey do....or the old adage: 'See no evil. Do no evil. Hear no evil'.......LOL. Whom among us can practice that in today's world ?The times are bad. Lord Have Mercy!

How can they not be cynical in our particular world? Cynisism is what drives this planet right now.

If they even digest 10% of a news report currently then they can't fail to take away some cynisism.

Kids could learn to be cynical on their own but that would mean that they would have to make the mistake of letting someone do something bad to them. It's better to teach them in a way that is informative but not forcing them to behave in any way. You want them to know but not to be pressured. This way if a problem is about to happen, they will recognize it before it happens & will be able to react before the fact. Of course, children are bad at desision making so it would be easier for them to learn on their own.

I was never a big believer in how kids shouldn't watch TV. Granted, I'm not a parent, and I'm not even really a non-kid yet, but this is what I've noticed.

Although maybe less naive growing up, I have plenty of morals, I had morals as a kid, and I think that this, at least in part, was because my TV wasn't exactly limited. I watched a lot of Gory movies as a kid, a lot of Horror, action, whatever, I think it showed me real life (As in, grown up life) situations where being good, was good, not just something you did for a cookie. My sister is the same way.

However, it's like, all the kids I've ever met, who's parents seriously limited what they watched and for how long, I always found those kids to be... well... uncontrollable, often self-centered, and other choice words I'm too tired to come up with.

I also think that it means, as a teen I've never shied away from bad news, I'm aware that there are horrible things going on in the world, and that I'm very previledged.

Granted, I'm not going to blame all bad behaviour on lack of TV, or my docile nature on too much TV. But the fact remains, it isn't that violence in the media, violence in video games (the fact that someone called them xbox games made me chuckle btw lol) and movies and such, it shouldn't be blamed completly for how kids are. I don't think it's so much, that we should yearn for the care free days when people didn't ~need~ to watch their kids, it was just a time when we didn't know we should be watching the kids (ignorance is bliss afterall)

My, I went off on a tangent didn't I?
Anyway, I'm highly cynical, and sarcastic, and I kinda like it that way. Innocents and naivity is good in it's place, but... It shouldn't be protected at the expense of Knowledge and Safety.

Being critical of everything is absolutey important. I plan on teaching my children that from day one.

Taurwen

Thanks for the insight ! It makes me happy. Its just that sometimes my grandson says smart alex stuff he hears from T.V. sitcoms etc. Some of the expressions aren't very kind....LOL. We don't limit his viewing to any great extent. He watches a lot of sports which is fine. He loves Rap songs and gangsters. That worries me a bit but hopefully like you say he will outgrow it. He's 10.

Several years ago I was involved in a discussion between generations, to resolve the problems in communications in our community. Finally one young woman answered several older women who were rebuking her for her cynicism. She said "I think I get it. YOU think cynicism is an insult. But we think its a compliment - it means we've been listening."

The thing about cynicism is that it means that we care. We begin by being hopeful and idealistic. We care about what happens. When we experience people in leadership, or people who are supposed to care, who act purely for their own benefit - teachers, politicians, preachers, even parents and so our reaction is to become suspicious and cynical of people's motives.

Encouraging our children to continue to care, to hold high ideals, means necessarily exposing them to betrayal of those ideals. Balancing our expectations of honesty and hopefullness and idealism, with realism is going to involve a little cynicism. But I think many of those people we most admire for their continuing work in the world - David Suzuki, Stephen Lewis, for example must operate from both cynicism and idealism.

If you try to be over-protective of your children it fires back on you, they will most likely end up doing things behind your back, scary thought. Your children go through many hardships that teach them to be mistrusting of people, your children will learn on their own, you can teach them the usual never get in a car with a stranger, but don;t damage their little spirits by teaching them the worlds a horrid place. If you ever take them traveling they can learn the world isn;t canada

It depends on what kind of environment they've grown up in. If they are only exposed to cynical things, they tend to become that way sooner.

I'm still not convinced that being cynical is a bad thing... I kinda enjoy being cynical.