Would you being willing to ask for help?
What would you ask for? Who would you ask?
How much help would you be willing to offer a friend? How much would you offer a stranger?
Quite honestly, probably not. I could ask for it on behalf of another but not for myself. If I were to ask for help it would be a family member and even then I would only ask my sister.
I am assuming "help" does not mean giving money, more like moving a freezer or perhaps a shoulder to lean on?
I'd probably go to great lengths for a friend in need. Stranger?-depends on what he/she needed. I could offer a shoulder or bring someone who is alone into my home and share a meal. Depends on so many factors.
Fionavar
Posted on: 12/12/2006 21:34
I have found it very important to know my own limits and needs, gifts and strengths. When I need the assistance of someone who possesses those things I may need or someone to whom I feel a connexion would be beneficial, I wholeheartedly uphold asking for help!
Bobby
Posted on: 12/12/2006 22:34
Thanks for replies. I was worried people thought I was going to ask to borrow money.
I'm just curious how far people will extend themselves for others (strangers and friends). Just as curious if people are as afraid to ask for help as I am.
I want people to share their stories with me...not their money. lol
jw
Posted on: 12/13/2006 05:51
I'm not sure what you mean by help. I sometimes need to ask people to open doors for me: If that is what you mean, yes I ask for help. In the case of doors I ask men and children ... Asking women too often results in severe rudeness. Sad to say. Mind you, that is starting to change as other disabled men now state.
Most of us will need some help at some time in our lives. What that help is, that will vary, but help will be needed.
There clearly are times when one MUST NOT ask for help. Whether this is due to discrimination or due to one's own habit of asking for help when it is not needed, the fact remains that there are times to ask for help and times to keep one's mouth closed.
nestingtree
Posted on: 12/13/2006 12:56
This is a great question! I think we should all ask for help more often. Offering and ASKING for help is what builds community.
I LOVE when people ask for my help, provided I can be useful. I honestl believe most people are the same. Most of whta we are asked for is not even onerous. Whether its holding a door for someone, or helping someone find their dog, or helping them move a couch, or asking if they can cut in front of me in line.
I think I've been raised not to ask for help as much as I should. And i wish I learned to do it more. We (esp Canadians) can be so damn polite, courteous and unobtrusive, but it borders on cold and distant and I don't think we want to be that way.
I can identify my real friends by those who I would feel okay calling at 3am if I really needed them (I haven't yet thankfully but the point is I *could* and I would expect them to do the same for me).
An an aside, as a woman (and speaking for all my women friends), never in a milion years would we mind helping a man who needed our assistance and I see all the time women holding doors for just about anybody who needs it.
Comments
karat65
Posted on: 12/12/2006 21:11
Quite honestly, probably not. I could ask for it on behalf of another but not for myself. If I were to ask for help it would be a family member and even then I would only ask my sister.
I am assuming "help" does not mean giving money, more like moving a freezer or perhaps a shoulder to lean on?
I'd probably go to great lengths for a friend in need. Stranger?-depends on what he/she needed. I could offer a shoulder or bring someone who is alone into my home and share a meal. Depends on so many factors.
Fionavar
Posted on: 12/12/2006 21:34
I have found it very important to know my own limits and needs, gifts and strengths. When I need the assistance of someone who possesses those things I may need or someone to whom I feel a connexion would be beneficial, I wholeheartedly uphold asking for help!
Bobby
Posted on: 12/12/2006 22:34
Thanks for replies. I was worried people thought I was going to ask to borrow money.
I'm just curious how far people will extend themselves for others (strangers and friends). Just as curious if people are as afraid to ask for help as I am.
I want people to share their stories with me...not their money. lol
jw
Posted on: 12/13/2006 05:51
I'm not sure what you mean by help. I sometimes need to ask people to open doors for me: If that is what you mean, yes I ask for help. In the case of doors I ask men and children ... Asking women too often results in severe rudeness. Sad to say. Mind you, that is starting to change as other disabled men now state.
Most of us will need some help at some time in our lives. What that help is, that will vary, but help will be needed.
There clearly are times when one MUST NOT ask for help. Whether this is due to discrimination or due to one's own habit of asking for help when it is not needed, the fact remains that there are times to ask for help and times to keep one's mouth closed.
nestingtree
Posted on: 12/13/2006 12:56
This is a great question! I think we should all ask for help more often. Offering and ASKING for help is what builds community.
I LOVE when people ask for my help, provided I can be useful. I honestl believe most people are the same. Most of whta we are asked for is not even onerous. Whether its holding a door for someone, or helping someone find their dog, or helping them move a couch, or asking if they can cut in front of me in line.
I think I've been raised not to ask for help as much as I should. And i wish I learned to do it more. We (esp Canadians) can be so damn polite, courteous and unobtrusive, but it borders on cold and distant and I don't think we want to be that way.
I can identify my real friends by those who I would feel okay calling at 3am if I really needed them (I haven't yet thankfully but the point is I *could* and I would expect them to do the same for me).
An an aside, as a woman (and speaking for all my women friends), never in a milion years would we mind helping a man who needed our assistance and I see all the time women holding doors for just about anybody who needs it.