yeah, i was gonna say that... when i got married, i had NOTHING... my husband and i were still in university. so my opinion is pretty lame, i'd say!!

but if i had something that was important to me, like the home that my father built and my parents lived in all their lives, that they had bequeathed to me, i would definetly do what i had to do to make sure that was never in jeopardy. so in that case, i'd do a prenup.

I resonate with your ambivalence.
It's like the age old deliemma (boy, I cannot spell!) of living by faith - ie going into your marriage trusting that it will last a life time as you both intend - and responsible foresight. Protestants have always been good at the "trust in God but mind your pennies" kind of attitude to life.
If only all breakups could be generous and resonable! But then you don't leave someone you once loved with only nicey-nicey feelings. The disappointment and grief, even if there is no outright betrayal, must be hugh. I've thought about pre-nups for myself and figure that the only thing I would want to protect would be my pension. While I can work, I can recover most losses. But when I am old and grey, I'm gonna need every cent of my pension just to survive! But do the Cdn laws allow one to exclude pension plans from common property?

Can you tell that I am not married?!?

hmm...I don't know if prenups include pensions. I think that I would take my chances without a prenup...I am married but I didn't have anything to protect (!). But if I did have money to protect or anything else I would feel like I was looking ahead to the end of my marriage by drawing up a prenup. I think that most things that are acquired before marriage are protected anyways...like trust funds, family houses etc. I would discuss the importance of those things to me with my spouse and hopefully they would respect that. I don't think that I would go after an inheritance of my husbands or family heirloom stuff if we didn't makeit.

Pre nupts can keep harmony in the family - the first family. If you want the kids to accept your new husband or wife, they need to know that there inheritance is reasonably safe. If wife/husband #1 is still alive and kicking, they want to know that their kids will have equal if not first dibs on your money. Of course, some kids never accept the remarriage of their parent(s) and/or are flat out greedy. One must be fair with the new spouse, too.

I agree that pre nuptial agreements are very unromantic. I have drafted them for other (richer) people but do not have one myself. Now a marriage contract could be very romantic if a couple goes through troubled times and then reconciles. Unfortunately, every marriage contract I have drafted was for marriages on the rocks - one spouse being given a last chance. The other spouse demanding protection and sometimes unfair advantages in exchange for staying in the marriage.

Been there, done that.

Actually I signed one AFTER the marriage. Family had a business and they wished to keep it 'in the family'.

Sure I was not too happy about it at first...but I thought of it this way...it means that my children will be sure to have some security when they get into the world.

I knew if something in the marriage was not going to be alright, I wasn't going to fight dirty...but I couldn't be guaranteed my inlaws' spouses would do the same if there marriages dissolved. So all new relationships common-law OR marriage have to sign.

I don't mind if a couple doesn't want one but I think they can be very helpful. I am also a supporter of tenancy agreements, work contracts, etc.

This said, the only one I'd sign is an agreement not to marry the other! An unnuptial??

Marriage puts too much legal, financial, and other pressure on people, threatening perfectly good love. Church & State - keep it separate. Love & finances - keep it separate.