Dear Stephen: Thanks for reminding me that God's gifts come wrapped in unsurprising ways. Often we do not have the eyes to see nor the ears to hear these gifts, but they hapen, all the time. I believe if we get in tune with our souls and our higher selves we will receive many gifts, it is if we want to receive the gift is the question, blessings

I am a gift to all of you.

You're welcome.

*Sips his port and reflects by the fire*

Monk, I was hoping for something much... not better... but much... well different for Christmas.
I will though sip port with you. Well, you sip the port. I will sit and be portly.

Well, Mad Monk we just may be the gift we're all looking for

StephenGordon
Once again you make me think. I"ve ignored and not appreciated many blessings in my life. More importantly, I've ignored who provided them. I guess I've been angry with God lately. No. I have been angry with God lately.
I am blessed. Thank you for reminding me.
It is almost noon so could you please pass me MadMonks port? It will dull the pain of the lightning bolt that I suspect is coming my way.

Dear Karat: God can take it, Give it to 'em. Go ahead, God will be there just for you. to hear you and maybe even agree, but never forget Wisdom is also waiting for you...the endless gift.

StephenGordon,

Hi,

You wrote:

How many very purposed and direct blessings from God do I miss or worse yet----fail to recognize or acknowledge as coming from God?

Nice question. Really nice.

The narrative around the birth and Jesus' first presentation in the Temple do not fit with the spectacle we have turned Christmas into. We have allowed the thread of lament to be completely eclipsed by garland and tinsel.

There is no balance.

We no longer taste the sweet because we have given up the bitter.

What do we do with Simeon's prophecy:

"This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too."

Doesn't strike me as overly cheery.

And in the grand cosmic theological scale of things isn't the Incarnation God's desperation move? A Divine last ditch effort to Redeem?

I love grace so much, mostly because it spares me from having to deal with so much, but while grace is free to me it costs Jesus a great deal. Sometimes it is hard to think of it as win/win.

Having been present for the birth of my three I will freely confess that I cried, not so much for the joy of their birth as for my frustration with the pain my wife endured. I don't deny that Jesus is the best of all gifts but the physical toll on Mary would have been intense and not a walk in the park.

The song captures the bitterness and the lament of the event. It cuts through the facade of Hallmark sentimentality.

Grace and peace to you.

John

What? The greatest gift I got this year was me!

*Christianity always tells us to place ourselves 2nd*

So I'm placing myself first and it feels pretty good. At least when people are mean to me, or get cranky about something, I can just wander off in my mind thinking of my many virtues.

MadMonk:

You know if it weren't for you and StephenGordon and mchlnc...Alex and InsertAlias and WideOpen and sigsnottles and Blah and slapdash and Atheisto and a few others like some of the Revs, I'd have disappeared gone long ago!

But I cannot say that I put you in first place because for me that changes from week to week.

Today I will put my partner in first place because she is very stressed and needs my company.

Good Luck with the full-days-leading-up-to the 24th!

Magda

Mad Monk don't take it so bad...all this critism. We know your ego needs a little stroking once and a while. Our ego, well, is it a gift from God? I wonder..I guess it is at times. Yep, it is at times...IKNOW IT IS and that makes me a gift to everyone too...YIPPEE

Stephen Gordon thanks for the reminder that blessings are often disguised.

Mad Monk I don't know what we are going to do with you, Maybe you should join Golden Rule's and my new cult. We probably need to have a false messiah too and if you have powers that would help us.

Monk, I will accept you as a present on one condition. I asked for a puppy. The wife said it has to be housebroken. No peeing on the tree or the rug. Promise? She might let me keep ya...

Just a thought... a local church presented a reenactment of the first Christmas last night - with live animals and free hot chocolate, and everything. It was presented by their in-church school (K-gr6). We had a lively discussion about which parts would be re-enacted, because the story is about birth - messy, non-sterile birth. And I didn't know they handed out free hot chocolate at the stable! My bible seems to have omitted that part :) So yes, I agree we sugar-coat the story today.

And yes, blessings can be disguised quite cleverly. So much so that you actually think you're being cursed. I think about broken relationships that have made the way for unbreakable ones, and near-death experiences that cause the re-examining of ones priorites, and give a second chance at a good life, and deaths that relieve suffering. Ahh... hindsight.

And I think about Job, cursed, suffering, angry, and then the end of the book, where "the Lord restores the fortunes of Job twofold", because Job is "humbled, and satisfied" (NRSV). Is it that Job is humble and satisfied that his fortunes seem to improve because he doesn't expect to be happy, and thus is happy regardless, or is he rewarded by God with happiness because he survived his trials with his faith intact (barely, at times, I might add)?

StephenGordon,

Things have been crazy and hectic and stressful for me the last couple of weeks. Thank you so much for the remider that blessings are there, even when they might look like curses. And that God is there even in places where that is hard to see.

I wish you all a Blessed and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Bluntness follows: We had twin daughters who died at birth @ 26weeks, would have been 2nd & 3rd children, then, we had a loss at 17 weeks. Needless to say, times were tough.

It was made tougher by those who said "it was a blessing", "god only gives you what you can handle", "god knows best". They meant well, but they were shattering my image of a loving god.

Significant faith exploration and growth was driven from those hurtful statements. I studied. I came to terms with my own understanding, that the losses were not handed out by some righteous God, but, were part of the chaos of humanity. I refound a loving God. My blessings were the church community that rallied, that found our minister on her day off so that she could be present with us, the love that rained down upon our family, and the cards with wonderful notes, that held us together during the dark days.

Much later, I remember railing against a woman who I respected, who used "blessing" as she was discussing our losses. It was a growth point for me, as I reflected on her words, and realized, she had not said the event was the blessing, rather it was the process that followed. My care to those for whom life does not always give what one expects , the growth in my own faith through reading & study, my ability to name how faith statements can be unintentionally hurtful. They can be seen as blessings from God, given to me by those who in the community who also have opened themselves up, written books, or just walked with me

So, perchance another way to look, that a negative event, may not be the blessing, but, the love that surrounds, when chaos does reign, is the blessing of the spirit. May one also be surrounded and open to those blessings. May one find a way to weave those dark threads into a rich tapestry, rather than leaving them lying on the floor, or worse yet, tying ones hands, and blocking any further weaving..

Absolutely, love never dies and love is its finest when rising out of teh ashes to rebuild. Blessings,

Wonderful posts here. I agree that the event is not always the blessing but what follows. I was one of those driven to success, everything must be perfect people. You know one of those mom's who works in upper management - 10 hour days, dashes home to cook the perfect meal, clean the house and somehow find time for the children! Christmas was the worst season in my home, the decorating had to be done by the first weekend of Dec, trees trimmed, everyroom in the house decorated to the nines, lights on the house and yard before Halloween! My baking list was 40+ items long. Then I got sick, so sick it was difficult to even move, lost all of my muscle and simply could not do much of what I was used to accomplishing. I had to quite all of my volunteer jobs and take care of me. I learned that the outer trappings of life, the success, those things aren't important and the world will not fall apart if I don't bake 40 items for Christmas etc etc etc. Now I stop to appreciate my family, take time to enjoy the preparations of Christmas for what they are - my health and happiness have increased 100 fold. Thank you God for your Blessing in desguise.

Sure Pinga make me cry. I spend a lot of time lurking at wondercafe, and sometimes posting. It seems that several threads seem to hit the nail on the head, no more than this one, and in particular your post. I have spent much of the last eight years struggling with my faith following the catastrophic birth injury of my second son (physician/human error). He is profoundly disabled, medically fragile and technologically dependent (needs machinary to a manage bodily function..in his case a feeding tube). It is because of his special needs that I post as specialmom.

Many, many people have suggested that this has happened because he is a blessing and I have been chosen by God. I don't believe I was chosen by God..it just happened. I don't deny he is a blessing and a rare gift in our lives. But his care is also exhausting, overwhelming, expensive and falls primarily on my shoulders while my husband works seventy hours a week. I have spent much time trying to work through my bitterness about how this affects my relationships, marriage, family, career (gone!), studies (Ph.D I was working on...also gone) etc. Sometimes it is VERY hard to get past the bitterness and see the blessings. It is also hard when people pontificate about the importance of suffering and bitterness in life from comfy armchairs while some of us live and struggle with it daily.

However, on the flip side the most profound blessing that has evolved from this journey is the community that has emerged since his birth....health professionals, friends, family, neighours and even strangers. I would not have experienced the profound depth of community without this experience. That is one of the most meaningful gifts from this experience (thus far!).

Thanks for making me think about this. And thanks, Pinga for finding the words for some of my feelings.

SM

ps - Pinga, I just read your profile...I agree about five oaks.

SM, I will open a thread in the new year, to better explore a number of topics opened by this post. I am sure there are wonderful healers & experts who would be able to help us find the language to dialogue/explore/share, especially when confronted as we have been by those well meaning "God made this happen to you" statements. I too feel it would be good to explore how to reflect a different understanding of God, and blessings, when confronted by someone who truly believes God decreed one would bear this load, as either a punishment or a test. If one wsa a true believer, one would accept it, and rise with it, shouldering the burden, praising the Lord. ...and so on. (obviously, not where my understanding is)

back to the original post, though, with the addition of your comments, it makes one wonder about those who surrounded Mary, the unnamed ones, who walked with her, Regardless if you take the story as literal, or as an amazing story, where does it lead, and who are those others, who helped her along the way. As a mother, did she have a sense, that this child would leave her before his time? How did it shake her faith?

Pinga, I had a friend whose uncle died, and he had like three girlfriends at any given time, a bad drinking problem "with pills" , and was known to have a violent temper.

When I went to the wake, I watched this hysterical woman crying and she said to my friend, "God just needed another angel."

And I thought, "Holy crap, apparently one doesn't need much of a resume."

People say really stupid things, especially when they are trying to be profound and haven't sat in a church in 20 years.

I'm glad you know better, despite the hurt, that these things people say about God aren't true, and that while your heart still aches for those children, at least we can agree that what ever we may think of God, how ever we choose to express God, those lives are part of that.

I will look forward to following that thread Pinga.

This has been an excellent thread to follow. I have never really spent time thinking about Mary in this particular light. In fact I don't think I have spent time, ever, reflecting on her humanity and how she and I might have something in common. She has always been this untouchable, perfect mother figure. To think that she was frightened, alone, overwhelmed etc never really crossed my mind. This is what I enjoy about Wondercafe.

And MadMonk, I agree with your comment as well. It is amazing what people can say. I do try to get past most of it, I know they are generally well intentioned. My personal favourite was when someone informed me that my son was a representation of the devil's presence on earth. Without Satan, you see, there would be no disability. Now what does one say TO THAT????

I would have broken their legs.

Or at least closed my eyes and pretended to.

And then I would have made a little smile.

specialMom I would say the person who said that to you, did not have much regard for you and your son. I dont think what she said came from love for Christ.

I find this song very moving - I love listening to it - it is also thought provoking