I have some family stresses going on too, Serena. You're not alone. I find myslef resisting the bahum-bug  myself at times. Have you thought about creating your own tradition? We're thinking of skipping going to see my folks and extended family and having a pot  luck here with a few people. If not on Christmas day, somewhere around Christmas, maybe Christmas Eve or boxing day, and just going to church on Christmas. We haven't decided yet. But there are no rules that say because you aren;t doing Christmas the way you always have, that it has to be lonely..

i don't think it selfish of you, Serena--congratulations on being able to BE YOURSELF :3

Many people don't like to work on the holidays; but many jobs need to be done.  These people, possibly with family obligations, no doubt appreciate your being willing to work.  It is a great gift both to those you work with and those you serve.  Congratulations on your selfless choice.

Nope - not selfish in my books.  I trust you'll find ways to spend the day doing something meaningful to you.

Serena, As an adult you can do what ever is best for you. I'd suggest in future years you might want to go on a trip at Christmas. Somewhere different where you can do something different.

You mention not being at your sisters. I take it you also don't want to see your brothers?

That's ok. This day-or days-can be whatever you make it!

You are one of many people who find it hard to get excited about the hype of Christmas.  I know a young man who always chooses to work over the holiday.  He says  it is his gift to the other staff who have partners and children.  His own parents don't need to see him on The Day as they spend time with his sister and the kids.  He says he can see them anytime at all - other guys would be missing out if they had to work while their kids opened presents.

My advice is to think about your options and choose the one that YOU think will be best for YOU.  Sometimes we choose a second best option out of consideration for someone else.  Maybe it is hard to be around a particular person in the family but they are seriously ill and may die soon

I hope your holiday season brings some pleasures to you.

Tabitha;

My brothers are from my Dad's first marriage. They stopped pretending to care about me hours after my mother's death. Being with them on Christmas or any day of the year is not an option.

I would go on a trip but have nobody to go with. I don't like easter either. When I was with my ex we went to waterton national park for easter.

Hi Seeler;

I work in a group home. And the clients have no place to go for christmas. So the house needs to be staffed.

And you are correct. Because I'm working that week one woman gets to spend Christmas with her husband and children.

But before you paint me as selfless I don't like Christmas. I miss my parents. Watching my sister with her kids is painful. Christmas is for families and I feel like extended family not immediate family. So not like and intruder but certainly a 5th wheel. So I'm using work to escape the family Christmas.

Hi kaythecurler;

Thx for the holiday wishes.

I tried to make blue christmas a tradition. Didn't like it either.

I was talking to a friend and he thinks its sad the way I've decided to spend Christmas. I don't feel sad at all. I feel relief about my decision. Christmas week will be just like any other week except that I will have no music lessons to teach.

I'm not committed to do this every year. Maybe next year I will go somewhere or maybe I will go back to the traditional family christmas.

Hi Kimmio;

My tradition was to go to church christmas eve. That can't be done anymore (since my parents died) I usually spend christmas eve at my sisters' place. That's a new tradition. This year I'm working Christmas Eve. From 4 pm to 10 pm. Christmas Day 8 am - 4 pm. Boxing Day 4 pm - 10 pm and the 27th and 28th 8 am to 4 pm.

So this year I'm doing nothing for Christmas. I'm ok with that. I'm not bitter. I just don't want to do it

I read a maclean's article in the doctors waiting room last week. The majority of canadian adults are single. We are not a unique bunch.

Instead of waiting on a bf to travel with Serena-just go do it!

Its not fun to travel alone. I don't like to drive and hate maps.

I would go with another woman. All my friends are married and or have kids so they don't go anywhere.

[quote=InannaWhimsey]

i don't think it selfish of you, Serena--congratulations on being able to BE YOURSELF :3

[/quotei

I never thot of it as being able to be myself

Serena, I realise that this won't be any use right now but.....did you know that there are holiday packages that specialise in holidays for women.  I know one woman who went on a hiking holiday with a planned group and another who went on a canoe trip.  Maybe Google or a travel agent could be a friend?

No I didn't know that kay

I will keep that in mind for next Christmas. Thx

i can't believe that there is still so much pressure on people to be all happy and stuff for christmas...

if you don't feel like being all happy skippy for the holidays, serena, then i am glad that you aren't.  there really is nothing worse than when i see someone who is obviously crying on the inside, but who is trying to keep it together for some percieved perfect holiday gathering.  the elephant in the room is just unbearable.

i wish you peace, serena, and i hope that you are safe and satisified.

Probably need to arrange things earlier than Christmastime! 

Journeywoman is an online magazine for women, and suggests trips for solo travellers, plus offering lots of other great info.  The subscription is free - sign on and it comes to your inbox once a month.

http://www.journeywoman.com/

We will be spending Christmas without our mother this year, and that will be different.  Guess I'm very fortunate to have a great relationship with members of my family, my nieces and nephews and their children, since I am widowed.  I enjoy being "auntie" , and maybe get to go sledding/tobogganing with the kids.  Life has much to offer if we look for silver linings.

I hope your spirits improve over Christmas, Serena, and perhaps being with some of the people in the group home will be a positive gift for both you and them.

Take care.

Serena, I don't think there's anything wrong with working when you have a tough time at Christmas.  It would probably be healthy for you to find a new tradition at this time of year that you enjoy though.  It could be a gift to others, or something a little more selfish.  Donating to a toy charity, going out to a nice restaurant with a friend, etc.  Maybe it will be taking a trip every year!  I hope you're able to find some joy at this time of year, even if it's different than what year's past have been.

Chemgal and Sighs:

Not wanting to do Christmas is not about being sad.

I was the person who had to always leave the room in 2008. 2009 was very Merry cuz I was intoxicated b4 supper.

Its just about not wanting to. But part of me feels bad for not wanting to.

Christmas does make me miss my parents I will admit that.

Its more about not seeing the point. I don't have kids. I see the point of New Years. I'm going out to get smashed and have taken Jan 1 off to recover.

I've quit going to the Blue Christmas cuz it makes me sad.

I think you are right Chemgal. I need to make my own traditions.

I usually give $100 to the spca. I do that bc my parents loved dogs.

At Easter I go to my parents' graves and play my flute.

As soon as my new business becomes profitable I intend to set up scholarships in the name of my parents at the schools.

At this point my life is just busy. I don't want Christmas. It has lost its meaning.

Thanks for alerting me to this magazine, Gecko.

I looked at a few articles and subscribed.

Travelling alone isn't for everyone.

At first I found it difficult, but even then, I was aware of it's advantages.

When travelling with others I tended to give in on where to eat, what to see, etc - so it was nice to do what I wanted to do for a change.

But, let's cut to the chase, folks like to travel with someone to avoid feeling lonely.

So, unless you have an all consuming hobby (like photography) it's beneficial to have an open friendly manner and feel comfortable starting a conversation with a stranger.

I discovered just how fortunate I am in this area. Through travel, I've made many new friends -and also enjoyed intimate conversations with folks I'll probably never meet again. I'm curious about places, people and their lives.

My natural expression is a smile. It seems to signal to folks that I'm approachable. (As one of my friend's said, "When people look around for someone to take their photo, they choose you."

I guess what I'm saying is that you have to be honest with yourself.

Do you feel "less" if you're alone, and not part of a twosome?

Are you uncomfortable approaching and commenting to strangers?

Do you know yourself well enough to know what you like to do/see -or do you prefer someone else to do the deciding?

Finally, I'm such a convert that I'm now wary of travelling with friends/sisters . (Long , stony silences and disagreements can cripple a holiday!) These days I would only travel with a companion that allows me the freedom to be myself - which, of course, I would reciprocate.......

(Which is why my late husband was the perfect travelling companion).

Serena,

Tell us how Christmas Day went for you?

Actually, this was one of my better Christmases.

I worked on Christmas Day from 8 am to 4 pm. I came home, did laundry, cleaned the house and had a sandwich for supper. Then I did decluttering. At 9 pm I watched a thriller movie then I fell asleep on the couch. I slept til noon on boxing day then I went to work.

Christmas eve was a little harder. I was also home. Part of me was thinking an exbf would show up in a santa suit realizing that he could not live without me....but that didn't happen.

It was a little hard to wake up to nothingness on christmas morning. And despite what I said upthread I knew very well it was christmas.

Did I cry? No. It was ok. It wasn't the most wonderful time of the year and neither was it the worst time of the year. It just was.