I don't know. Mrs. M. and I had several near breakups in our first summer. Somehow we always came back from the brink. How you deal with the blowups is as important as how you deal with the lovey-dovey.

That said, I'm getting the feeling from things you say here and have said elsewhere that you may be better off playing the field for a bit and letting the guys know that's what happening. See how you gel with a few different guys, maybe including "the one", and then see how you feel.

Or maybe I'm totally full of it.

Mendalla

Gee Serena, that's alot of pressure to put on one person isn't it? Just to be there for your enjoyment and to be around when YOU need him? Does the guy not get to have a life outside of you? Do you want one outside of your relationship?

Do you really want some guy to always be walking on "eggshells" to be able to be with you? Personally I admire someone who can balance himself with work, relationship, his interests and others. Otherwise I'm sure I'd be bored silly.

Hmm, well, not knowing the whole story, it's hard to say. Whatever you think I guess. SOunds like you do need time. Follow your heart, but use your brain too. I agree, a workaholic would be no fun.

So, you want a guy, who can't stay away from you, but you have a couple of other guys at the side...you are not expecting this to turn into an equal, trusting, long term relationship, are you?

Hey Serena, I think these stories about boyfriends are made up for our amusement.

Sure looks like it......

Maybe we should encourage her to make them "juicier" then.

The only made up story is about me and the roofer.

Mendella;

Maybe you are right.  I don't really like play the field though.  But if bf A knew there was bf B there would be no bf A.   Bf B knows about Bf A and doesn't care other than trying to convince me to dump him BF A and telling me what a loser Bf A is.

No you are taking it too far.  I want a life outside of the relationship.  The fight was not about that.   At the core is that he is a workaholic and I want to be able to count on that if I need someone they are there.  Bf B was texting me when I found out my fb friend is marrying my cousin (online hits real life)  and he has already offered to be my date.  I would be afraid to ask Bf A because I know I would hear "Well I don't know.  Maybe I will have to work..... blah, blah, blah"  I see a potential fight.  It hasn't happened.  But I don't even want to talk about the wedding with bf A.

I don't expect a bf to be at my beck and call but should care about things such as my fb friend marrying my cousin.  Bf B is better at making plans and keeping in contact.  But I have been seeing bf A longer and I know that once guys think they are in an exclusive relationship they don't have to try as hard.

Do you really want some guy to always be walking on "eggshells" to be able to be with you? Personally I admire someone who can balance himself with work, relationship, his interests and others. Otherwise I'm sure I'd be bored silly.

[/quote]

We haven't had the exclusivity talk yet.   I think bf A ASSUMES exclusivity,  And no once we we are officially exclusive I will not have and bfs on the side.

Ya I don't like workaholics.   I do not want the other extreme.  The idiot who loses his job cuz he is always on my doorstep.

I just think now is a good time to get out of the relationship before I am attached and see the red flags.

Boyfriend A phoned yesterday.  I did not answer the phone and he did not leave a message.    His number showed up on my cell.   He may have dialed by accident so I did not return the call.  You know how on your cell you sit down and the phone is not locked and then you phone someone by accident?   So I am not going to call FIRST.  If I go by my old dating rules three days of no contact the relationship is over by default and I delete all their contact info.  Boyfriend A's time is up at midnight by the old rules.

I am not sure if the old rules are good or not.

Apparently, my flute playing also hurt bf A's ears.  That is pretty much what he said on Thursday night .   What a cad!!!!! I have a degree in music!!!!

My idea is to not overthink things or try too hard. Date some, have fun, and let things happen at their own pace. I don't recall you saying your age but I've got the vibe you're a young adult (20 something?). Be patient and let life and love happen.

Serena's 36.

37 actually....remember I just had a bday.

Oh! Right! Sorry!

O.K. that's still young enough. I know people that age or just over (I'm a few months from 40) who are looking for love, and in at least one case I know she's never been married and I'm inclined to say she hasn't had a really long term relationship. She's had a pretty rough life but I think she's doing a lot better now. If she just finds a good Christian woman to love and who loves her in return I think things will be complete for her.

where ever you live, I think women who wish to find dates should all move there.  You have dated more men and had more boyfirends at any one time than most women I know.

either you are the best catch in the world or there is a serious shortage of women for all these guys to be lining up

If you don't like him, move on.  Dating for 3 weeks is just getting to know you stage.  If he doesn't give you enough attention now it won't get better later on

 I hate wishy washy types that you can't plan anything with. I feel your pain there. Also the fella who says he's going to do something like come over or call then doesn't. One of my favorite sayings is 'Shit or get off the pot".

In other words, who needs that crap. Live your life.  Have fun.  Don't 'settle'.