Sorry about the typos  and double post. I was writing this on my phone whilst on the bus.

Here is the computer version.

Everyone knows that I am a New Democrat. Have been since I was 15 and living in Halifax. I was extremely active in the eighties and nineties in Québec. Running campaigns and sitting on Federal Council. Recently I have been less active, due to health concerns, but many of my friends are still active and very involved.

At the leadership convention an old friend and MP from BC asked me to come see him. If my health improves I might consider a job as an organiser in Quebec. My French language skills are superior and the linguistics quirks caused by my autism are other looked as people assume they are caused by being an Anglo. 

I have been quiet about is my family background. However something is happening in my family that might affect how people in the NDP and others see me. I am a real political geek and I am not sure I can continue to be secretive.

Recently a cousin of mine became engaged to the Premier of Ontario’s son. Her brother and another cousin is the Premier of a small province where my family is from. I do not know them but the rest of the family is close. So this week people are talking about the fact the cousin is going to be running for the federal Liberal leadership. Before his sister became engage his chances of winning I thought were small. However with the support of a prominent Ontario Liberal family, his bilingualism, experience as a Premier, charisma, as well as other factors (like being the first visible minority federal leader) his chances look very good.

Since I was young I always have put out to people the things that I was shy about. From the age of 17 I would quickly let people know I was gay. Same with my autism. People find this quirky. However this is different.

I know I can keep it a secret, but being the geek who loves to talk about politics it is bound to slip out. Especially if he wins.

So how should I tell people?

I am not afraid anyone will hold it against me, but unlike the other things about myself that I tell people it is not likely to come off as being something other than itself. I am afraid this might be seen differently.

Alex, I find your post confusing, you've never directly stated what 'this' is.

Is it you being gay/autistic coming out to a large public?

Is it being gay/autisic coming out from the liberals (with their own slant, as you are NDP)?

Is it how it will affect your liberal cousin?

Is it a liberal cousin affecting how people will see you?

Or something else that I am missing altogether?

Typically, I would have thought it was the first one, but you state:

"I have been quiet about is my family background."

And   "From the age of 17 I would quickly let people know I was gay. Same with my autism."

Alex, I was also a little confused by your post, so let me see if I've got this straight. If your health improves, you are considering applying for a job as an organizer with the NDP in Quebec. Although you are a lifelong NDPer, you have strong family ties with the Liberal party - one cousin is engaged to the son of the premier of Ontario and her brother is the premier of a different province. You are wondering whether or not you should tell your potential employer, the NDP, about these family connections?

I don't want to assume that is the question you are asking, so I'll consider my response as I await your confirmation.

I love to talk and share interesting stories and trivia. I have also develope an instinct to share what I am uncomfortable with, expecially things that  affect me emotionally, This is one of the reasons why when I was a teen in the eighties I would tell evryone I was gay. It was also why after being diagnose in the eighties with AIDS that I told family and friends right away, IF I do not than it becomes harder to do so later on. I would just lay things out as I was unable to figure out things by myself.

Howevr at the time I nevr took into consideration  how I did would reflect on me. HOwever usually it was a good thing. In fact because so few people in Ottawa would admit to having AIDS, that the AIDS service organsiations I volunteered for would ask me to be a speaker, at school,s in the press on TV etc.  I did not like it but it gave my life purpose at what I thought was the end. 

I know this news is likely to affect how people see me. Howevr I have very litle to do with my family. My politcal involvement has been focused on grassroots work, usually phoning people. Not polaying at the higher levels as I do not get politicvs at that level. Howver give me a list and unlike others, I can easily phone people. Much as a sales men does.  .

My cousins mother has been an inspiration to me. Like me she did not speak until 5 or so, and than it was in full sentences. She than went on to speak about issues in the public that made my family uncomfortable.  

First some background. My grandmother was the oldest of 14 or so children.. When she was 18 her father died, and she eneded up coparenting her youngest siblings, and staying at home until she was 30. Her youngest brother, who was like her son, since he was  a baby when there father died  are my cousins grandfather.  My father was named after him.  I grew up off the Island howver evry summer we would go to the Island, and of all my many relatives it was this part of the family that we see the most, as most of the others were also off Island.    When we visited his wife and  daughters it  was a secret because it upset my grandmother.   AT the time all I knew was not to speak of there names when in the presence of my grandmother. He ran a business and was a Conservative MLA, and  my cousins mother went to Charoltetown when she was 18 to hire a Liberal divorce lawyer.  

My grandmother took her brothers side, in what turned into a decade long divorce from hell. Evryone had to take sides, which my parents did not want to do as they wanted to remain friendly with all involved. Plus I believe my grandmother took their grandfathers side while my parents were not blind to what went on.    The divorce ended up in the Supreme Court on the issue of allowing testamony from adult children on domestic abuse. They became the first children to be allowed to testify in court about both assaults agaist their moth, and themselves.  Which was very graphic and public and mortified my family  It ruined the  political career of my cousins grandfatherfather and reputation of my grandmother brother. Meanwhile I admire my cousin who not only took the lead in defending her mother's and her sister interest, byut ended up marrying her mother's lawyer. Who became a Liberal politican.   My cousins mother in effect became one of the first people to openly discuss domestic violence and help destigmatise the issue for other victims. 

For me this is a story I am proud of, and admire my cousins mother for. (Actaully there are many women in my family that I am also proud of) She even gave an intervew in a national magazines. recounting the whole thing.   Not only did she talk opening about the issue, but gave interviews about it in the national media.  

Her husband was of non European ancestory amd went on to be a Liberal MLA and the first visible minority leader of a governement in Canada.   He made national news early on in his career after being called a nigger in the legislature by the tories, who hated him. He lalso particpated in the repatriation of the constitution to Canada.  All ewilst she talked openly about issues like domestic abuse. 

Uo to now i have always been proud of my this story and it eased my grandmother pain when I cam out at 17 as gay and as a New Democrat.  The second being the most difficult for her, and the community. In grade ten people would taunt me by calling me a communist at school when I wore my NDP button.  

The maritimes are a very small place, and on the Island, it seems I am related to hiundreds, however in Ottawa there is a lack of awareness of Island culture. 

So my cousins decisons to run federally  is something that pushes all my buttons. It just adds to my strangeness in a way that has nothing to do with me, like AIDS or Autism etc. Yet i am not shy about my families stories, which are a potent mixture of a large extended fanily that is set apart, by Autism, Narcassim, Alcohol, and also great love and acts of great bravery, and community involvments, and seaking up where others will not.  . Where success meant being driven to achieve, or to help others to do so.  or else you ended up being pulled down by inner turnoil. leading to madness and drink.  ,  It seems that my generation has escaped many of the inner demons, My sister use to say it was becasue our grandmothers generation barred my parents generation from dating other Island people. (Who were likely  cousins) It still ammazes me when I meet people and it is explained how they are realated to me, in multiple ways.

When I was younger I was ashamed of  these family stories. When I was 19 I moved to Quebec City and only stayed in contact with my siblings, parents and grandpoarents. Now that I am older I am fascinated by my different family stories,.  

Howevr now that one of my extended family is going to be in the national news, and possibly remain so for many years, and in a role that opposes many of my beliefs (albeit also sharing many others) My brain is confuzzeld bewteen the AUtism and crpto fungal infection which has had neurological effects.   I a stuck between feeling proud for my family, and ashamed for my family;s differentness and my own.  I am also somewhat fearfull for my party becaseu while evryone knows my cousins and the qualities he inherited from his father, they do not know about the strenths he inherited and learned from his mother.

If one can make an analogy with business. My political work has been at the level of a lead hand on a sales teams, organising phone banks, and phoneing people. 

Many of my friends ain the NDP and my family in those other two parties are functioning at a level simlar to a high level administrator, or in the case of my cousin a CEO. So I do not rewally understand how they think. I am more comfortable in doing rather than stratagy. My worth in the NDP has been I ahave been able to get things done that others find boring.  I am seen as a work horse, not very bright but hard working and honest.       I find joy in working under people directions, and beeing seen that way. While I am smarter than most believe (my autism affects my communictaion skills to such a point that i I come accross as such.) my abilties to process are good, but take a lot more time than most people.   ASnd are completley deficient in understanding how people act, until I can spot long term patterns.  So it makes changes and news difficult ot handle,

umm, alex....a cousin is nothing... i would never mention if a cousin was working at a competitor.

honestly, it is nothing which will impact you or your employ

if it was your spouse -- different story