She is well mabye not stupid but certainly gullible. At that age he must learn to be accountable for his drving habits and fines it brings. Maybe he manipulated her by saying "I can't take you out without my license".  

it is SO easy to manipulate a 15 year old girl in the first flush of love.  Somebody better have her read "the paper bag princess' by Robert Munsch.

Hi seeler,

I think both the granddaughter and her mother are right.  Generosity and stupidity are not mutually exclusive values.

It is generous in that it is her $200 and she is well within her rights to give it to whomever simply because she wants to.

It is stupid in that if it becomes a pattern the boyfriend doesn't learn lessons from being fined and she finds herself to have less and less money to give to others who may have a much more pressing need.

Not that she is at all obligated to give it to anybody else.

Grace and peace to you.

John

The only reason she should pay half (at most) was if she were in the car at the time, encouraging him to go faster.

I can't believe how teenagers have so much money these days.  I don't EVER recall having that kind of money at that age. Even my friends who babysat regularly didn't have it.  (mind you back then it would have been like $50)

Just a thought: maybe this boy dates this girl because she has money.....

I think you could describe the young lady as generous.  Her choice seems appropriate and possibly typical for her age.  Having said that though I hope someone will talk respectfully to  her about the dangers of being taken advantage of by others.  The young man seems to need to do some maturing in the area of accepting responsibility for his own choices - hopefully that too will come in a while.

I have heard many stories of enabling young women - having there boyfriend move in with them and then paying all the expenses, doing his laundry, making his meals etc while he lazes about.  I think I'm suggesting that helping once is ok but be careful to not make it a habit!

Too many girls and women seem to fall into this pattern - the guy gets to do as he pleases and the girl pays the bill. 

I don't know all the circumstances in this particular case.  If they were both in the car, and she didn't object to his speeding (or maybe encouraged it) then it might be fair for her to pay a portion of the fine.  Otherwise, it is his responsibility.   If she wasn't with him, or if she asked (or begged) him to slow down, or indicated that she didn't like it when he drove too fast - there is no reason why she should pay anything.

If she were my daughter, or my friend, I would advise her not to pay his fine for him.  Possibly, if this was a long term relationship, if she otherwise trusted him, if he had a job or was full time in school or college and doing well, then she might consider giving him a loan until payday - and to put it in writing (amount, date given, date due, signed).  Then if he didn't pay it back in full on time, without being asked, she should remember never to lend him anything again, and to keep her money separate if they ever decide to live together.  

I would also advise here never to get in a car with him behind the wheel.

I do groups for impaired drivers. If you get charged with impaired driving in BC you will be mandated to take the groups. I have met many variations of this boy.....people who were bailed out time and time again, and never learned to take responsibility for their actions.  Yes, it can be considered generous of her. I do not think it was entirely wise. If this boy continues to be bailed out, he will never learn. He needs to pay the fine, or repay her for her kindness.  

And if he doesn't she needs to cut the strings or be prepared for a lifetime of bailing him out 'just one more time'.   Once bitten, twice wise.