O I got off on a tangent in my own thread.   I guess my current problem now is that I expect a wonderful guy to turn insane at the drop of a hat and want to break up before anything happens.  I have trouble letting myself fall for a guy now because I am jaded and expect the worst in all my relationships and don't want this to become a self fullfilling prophecy.

post deleted by author bc it was double posted

I'm confused - it's okay for you to date up to 5 guys at a time, but if one of them has a girlfriend, that's a problem?

Serena, there was a period of time where I would go out on dates with different guys. I never actually considered myself to be 'dating' anyone, I was just going out on dates to get to know people.

Whenever I was actually dating someone, there was only them and not other guys that I was also interested in.  I think you need to date just one person at a time to decide if there's anything there other than immediate chemistry.  Once you get to that point, it's fine to do a quick assessment of the relationship.  If there's big warning signs, or you simply can't see it going anywhere, it's fine to end it.  Imagining that the guy is dating other people, or that some crisis is going to happen probably isn't the best reason to end it, unless there's some actions that have happened with him to back that up.  To know if someone really is the one takes time.

Serena, this is old news!!!!!!

Serena, this is old news!!!!!!

It was worth double posting.

I was thinking the same thing, somecalfromcan.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

If one person is seeing multiple people, the other should be able to. If it is non-monogamous, then it is.

When someone says about "starting to fall" and them being with more than one person...I would say that if it upsets, hurts, bugs or stops you, then one would assume it will upset, hurt, bug, stop them.

It sounds to me like it would be a good idea for you to think through your own choices and behavior.  It takes time and work to figure out what  ethics are best for you and to bring your life into line with those ethics.  After doing that work maybe welcoming another human into your life would provide some joy.  A meaningful relationship  isn't 'all about and for Serena'.

LOVE IS PATIENT!! And obviously if you're dating all these guys you're in a rush to find love and you don't rush love. Sorry to say

I'm not much for  dating. I get to know somebody and we end up hanging around together more and more until a real date means "Lets get serious".

My last girlfriend left me with a 17 year old boy (her grandson) when she died. Even though I am ready to retire, I didn't wimp out and I feed him now (he;s 6'4").

A man who reaches even 35 without encumbrances is too shallow to consider.

From a man's standpoint it's time to break up when everything you do or say is taken the wrong way.

I don't date multiple people when there is an exclusive relationship in place.

I think you should give up on it. It sounds like you've had a really rough time in the dating scene, and I think everyone will understand when you eject yourself from it.

Throw yourself into your work. Now that you've graduated from school, your energies should primarily be focussed on starting up the business that you've been dreaming of.

Rich blessings.