Tabitha, my thoughts are with you.

Love may change, become complex and complicated, but it never ends.

oh Tabitha - prayers and hugs and kleenex for you.  Sounds like a delicate time.  I hope it is gentle for all of you.

Tabitha, thinking of you and children at this sad and difficult time. 

I'm so sorry to hear this Tabitha. This will be such a hard time for your children, as well as for you as you support them. Gentle thoughts coming your way.

Oh Tabitha, I am so sorry to hear this. May you and your children feel the embrace of God's loving arms as you travel through this turbulent time. May you all be surrounded by the support of those who love you.

Sending prayers and condolences for you, Tabitha, at this difficult time.

Your ex will always have a place in your heart.  Thinking of your children as they grieve their loss.  May each one of you feel the love and support of family and friends.

So sorry to hear this, Tabby.

My heart goes out to you and your children at this difficult time.

 One thing I have learned is tha it is common, to grieve not just the death, but the life of a deceased person.   This often makes the grieving process more difficult for those who loved those with difficult histories, than it is with those who did not..

take it easy on yourself. Hold your kids, and tell them how good they are, and tell yourself the same.

Thinking of you and your children, sending thoughts and prayers for you in a diufficukt time.

Thanks all,

spent the afternonn shopping with the 15 & 18 year old for clothes for the funeral, (and they also got some fun clothes too).

Kids don't want to talk much aboout it but are processing it in their own way. Not only did they lose their dad but all future hopes and dreams of time with him.

It's much more complicated for me. He's been difficult and has created difficulty where none was needed. And so there is sadness but also relief. An end has come-my load seems lighter.

We has known since Oct. he was ill, and had entered a palliative care hospice last sat. The kids spent Sunday morning with him, it truly waas their chance to say good-bye.

Thanks again for your support.

 Tabitha, I hope you find the ability to be true to yourself, and support your children, just as you have been throughout this time.

That is indeed a difficult place to be in Tabitha, I know I was once there.  You will experience an incredible range of emotions over the next little while that few will truly understand or be sympathetic to.  For me, at the time, I felt terribly alone with those emotions so I want you to know that you are not.

Take care and hold your children close,

LB

Tabitha - my prayers are with you and you deal with your feelings and support your children at this difficult time.  And continuing with you in the weeks ahead.

I agree with LB's words.  Very few understand the grief and loss and emotions of someone who has lost an ex . . .

I hope you are able to find someone you trust that you can talk to, and share what you are feeling and going through, someone that will listen and just be there for you.

My thoughts are with you. 

My thoughts are with you and your children.  I pray that the service is one of healing and love for your children.

i understand the sadness and relief at the same time.  Pretty common I think.  Complicated but common.

It is hard to lose a dad at any age, especially when young. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and the children Tabitha.  Challenging times ahead.  Good to hear he was in hospice and the kids were able to visit him there ... hospices here are SO amazing and the staff so incredible at easing this passage in life.   Sometimes hospice has follow-up support for kids, when they're ready to chat with someone other than mom.   Peaceful hugs, a cup of tea, some fresh air and quiet time for you.

Hi carolla,

Nice thoughts but this hopsice is 3 hours from where kids are-so probably not followup from therother complicating factors-he had become Mormon several years ago-so service etc. will be Mormon

Not a straightforward week-but things will be over by easter!

Sad to hear about this Tab  (I'll let the other spiritbruin know).  Hadn't heard about the Mormon thing. Life is full of twists, isn't it?  We'll be thinking of you. Let us know if there's any way we can support you.

True Tabitha - 3 hours away is definitely too far for follow-up.

I was curious, so I went reading about Mormon funerals ... sounds fairly similar to what I'm used to in UCC, but possibly longer if there are many speakers.  But some of the blogs centred on the the "lunch" aspect - looks like UCC isn't the only church with traditional church foods!   I hope the day will go satisfactorily for all of you - to be followed by Easter celebrations in our own tradition.  

Yes it will be a long intense day for the kids 9-10 immediate family, 10-11 extended family

11 general service -a luncheon, a burial and done by 3.

Yes Spiritbear-when he was married to L he attended Anglican, Married to me United and when he married E he became Mormon. The theology is that the okly way for a mormon woman to get to heaven is to be married to a mormon man.

As for help-my daughter says she's like a horse!

Given everything we are all doing OK.

One of our ministers is currently going through divorce. We have had several talks this year where i discussed some of the bad experiences in my marriage. He actually "gets it" very well. And 2 close girlfriends are divorced and understand too. Some other people are just clueless.

many thanks for all the w/c thoughts and prayers.

Very sorry to hear your news Tabitha.  Thinking of you and your children today.

TL

I'll pray for you and your family.

 Tabitha, hugs to you!!!

If you guys have any traveling to do hopefully there will be no more snow fall warnings, I'm sure the day will be long enough without having a drive be even longer!  It sounds like you have some good friends and support, hopefully they can help you through this time.  I'll be thinking of you and your kids.

Tabitha, my prayers are with you. Every feeling counts.

Tabitha .... HUGS.... my sincere condolences to you and your family....

I will be praying for you and everyone involved...

Hugs

Rita

Tabitha, my thoughts are with you and yours as well as the "ours" and the "his". It is complicated with divorce. When a person dies they were a person with a whole and diverse life. You love those who will likely mourn the most and longest, his children. Like you stated, they had future hopes and dreams that ended here.

(((tabitha & family)))  May love abound...cms

Chemgal-just travel to Calgary-as it turns out we already had plans to be in canmore for easter.

You w/c folks have very wise and caring words.

I do appreciate them!

 I drove that stretch on Thursday and it felt a little long, hopefully this week will be better (and I think we could all use some nice weather).  Canmore is such a relaxing place, hopefully you'll find a bit of peace while you're there.  Maybe a little walk with your kids while you're there?

Hugs

And most of the busyness is done-ooutfits for the kids and they are on their way. I'll see them tomorrow night. A big sigh of relief to get through all that busyness.

Soft thoughts your way, Tabitha.  It is what it is...both sorrow and relief and you sound beautifully whole in your surrender to this fact.  Challenges abound the next few days for all of you, but I sure have the feeling that you'll continue to be honestly present for your children throughout. 

my thoughts are with you at this difficult time it is hard for children to lose their father and hard for you to sort through the whys and wherfores yourself.

Hugs, vibes, and prayerful thoughts, Tabitha. It sounds like a difficult time.

Mendalla

gentle thoughts for you & the whole circle of people finding your way through. 
 

My thoughts, prayers and gentle hugs to you and yours Tabitha.

Tabitha - any relationship is frought with complicated emotions and some more than others. As a firsthand witness to my parents' divorce, and their ongoing involvement in each other's lives as co-parents and, in a strange way, friends and still family, I can certainly empathize and understand. May God's sheltering wings, her gathering wings protect you all this Easter.

So sorry  ((((((Tabitha and children ))))))

God is with you and the children at this difficult time. May you feel Grace, Comfort, and Love.

Tabitha,

when words fail, a spiritual song by that Canadian band, Blue Rodeo

Funeral over-my parents have arrived for our planned easter holiday-Tough weekend in some ways-but ok in others and life moves  on....there were certianly tearful moments all around.

I have been thinking about you and your family Tabitha. I hope that the time with your parents will help to comfort both you and your children.