Mists, I'm happy to hear that you're happy!

Have fun with this new relationship!

Have you had any particular fun dates?

Not so fast. We have to approve first.

Get him a WC account so we can grill him.

I call first dibs.

Good to hear that your life is moving forward in a way that gives you pleasure.  I know several couples who met online and they seem happy with relationships.

LOL chansen!  Thanks.  :)

I suspect he'd meet with your approval.  He's a very loving, kind man who treats everyone he meets very well, he's a great dad to his 11 year old son, he's very competent at a huge variety of life skills and he's an atheist who is light hearted about it.  

Besides, it's my parents he has to impress!  He'll be meeting them on Monday when they come to visit.  I have no worries, though.  I already told my mom that there is nothing I could possible say to make her not worry about me, but that meeting him once will have her convinced.  I'm looking forward to showing him off.  :)

Thanks, Kay and chemgal.  

Fun dates?  We kind of skipped dating, I think.  We went out for lunch and found ourselves in a relationship.  The other day I was at his place while he was doing laundry and waiting for the building inspectors to do some kind of smoke detector test.  There were alarms going off every couple of minutes.  We went out to A&W for lunch and dropped by the dollar store.  On another day, I accompanied him to a family funeral and met several of his relatives.  We went grocery shopping, then to his grocery store and got new nose pads for his sunglasses.  He came here and fixed my computer.  We've gone out on "dates" exactly twice: once to a Chinese restaurant to meet and the second time to Montanas.  We had "meet the kids night" at a Roller Derby in Hamilton and it went amazingly well.  

He wants to go some place where we have to get dressed up, but we haven't thought of a place yet.  I'm fine either way.  I love just hanging out with him, talking about whatever crosses our minds, snuggling on the couch or doing whatever other things that might occur to us (but are not appropriate for sharing on an online forum such as this! ;) )

So, I guess I'd say that every date with him has been fun, but it's all due to the company and not the date itself.  He has plans to paint my porch, if that counts as a date.  LOL  And I'm sure it will be great fun.  :)

I wish you every happiness......

You're still young -and if you have a need in your life it's best to fill it!

Way to go Mistofspring

I'm with Chansen tho-don't we get to meet him?

I suppose I can ask him if he wants to sign up here.  It couldn't hurt.  LOL  It seems that a lot of people want to meet him.

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Mists - I am so pleased for you! You deserve a great guy!

Mists, I am pleased to hear that you are doing well.

I am cautious about relationships which go from 0 to 100 and at meet the parents in less than a month...but...that is my caution showing.

I agree completely.  Until this happened to me, I thought everyone in this situation was completely crazy.  I still think a lot of them are.  We've had an exceptional level of openness, though, and we've spent more time together and more time talking than a lot of dating couples would have had in 6 months.  We've also both had serious, long term relationships before and know what we're looking for and what we're not looking for.  I think that's important.  

And besides, our first messages were on April 15th and he won't meet my parents until May 20th.  That's more than a month.  ;)

Congratulations!

What a lovely story, Mists.  I'm so glad you have found happiness after a very difficult time in your life.  He sounds like a wonderful man, and a good friend...that's important.

Does your daughter like him?  Has she met his son?

What about your daughter, mists? How old is she now?

Can you ask him if he has a single gay brother in Ottawa. I'm envious.

crazyheart, Rachel is 6 and a half now.  We're being careful with the kids (his son is 11) by introducing each other as friends.  We discussed it and agreed that it was the process that we thought would be best for us; we've each introduced our kids to friends and gotten together with friends before, so this doesn't seem out of the ordinary to either of them.  

I'm glad you're happy and having fun, Mists. I share others' sentiment about the caution. I've fallen hard, and fast and been hurt really hard in the past- but have also known others for whom their whirlwind romance turned into a long term partnership.

Hi MistsOfSpring,

Congratulations!

Grace, peace and pleasant companionship to you.

John

Ok since we haven't met him here are some questions

Is he employed? What does he do?

Is he truly single? (I always tell my friends-separated doesn't count)

What are his debts? Any alcohol or drug or illegal activity issues?

Does he encourage you to be more? (Not restricitng your activities, choice of friends etc)

What do your friends think?

Is he kind to children, animals, wait staff etc.?

and then you can tell us what your parents think!

The Roller Derby sounds like it was a pretty special date!

Like the list, tabitha

He spent the past 10 years as an IT consultant in his own company, but it wasn't doing well so he decided a few months ago to refer his clients to some of his colleagues and look for more stable employment.  That came in the form of 2 excellent job offers a couple of weeks ago, one of which he accepted and starts on Tuesday with the Ontario Nurses Association.  The salary and benefits are excellent.  

Truly single?  Nope.  He and his wife separated in November 2004 after 6 years of marriage, but they have not divorced due to costs and neither one having a pressing need to get all the paperwork done.  Having had a number of friends in this situation over the years, some of whom remained legally married for over 10 years after splitting up, I'm not terribly worried about that.  To move forward in this relationship, however, a divorce is essential.

His debts are significant.  I will not be paying them off.  He asked me if the debt was a deal breaker and I said "No, but if we ever get married, it's definitely grounds for a pre-nuptual agreement" and he agreed that that made sense to him, too.  His goal is to have his debts paid off within 4-5 years.

There are no issues with drugs or alcohol.  He drinks occasionally, sharing a bottle of wine with friends for instance.  Drug wise he used pot and hash when he was much younger with some regularity, but at this point in his life he doesn't.  

He absolutely encourages to be more.  He is supportive of my dreams and is happy for my friendships.  I've introduced him to several friends, mainly other moms in the neighbourhood over at the park.  They think he's cute and nice.  I want to introduce him to some of my closer friends, but the timing hasn't worked out for that yet just due to location more than anything else.

I've introduced him to my brother online and they have chatted a bit.  Basically, I'm proud to introduce Ian to everyone I know.  All of my friends are thrilled for me.  

He treats everyone kindly.  I've seen him with kids and he's silly and fun with them.  I've seen him with a dog (not his) and he was very comfortable and enjoyed playing with it. As for wait staff and people in stores, he is on a first name basis with everyone in his bank and remembers details about their lives, like where they went on a trip recently and that kind of small talk stuff.  When we go in to a restaurant, he calls the server by his/her name as well and is very polite, then he usually tips about 20%.  

What other questions do you have?

Does he have an older single straight brother? LOL! Alex already asked for his gay brother!

He does sound fine Mists of spring/spirit of Autumn.

You have talked about significant issues-debt and divorce!

Divorce does not have to be expensive. If there are no outstanding issues beween parties it can be reasonable. what drives up the cost is if the lawyers have to resolve things-ie custody or property settlement or spusal support.

That is just my generic list for friends (and myself too).

Sounds like a keeper.  Good luck and good times moving forward.

Ian sounds like a great guy!

Sorry to those of you looking for dates; Ian is an only child.

Has he got a father, uncle???? 

Ah, how the world has changed. There was no PoF or OKC (or any of the other dating sites)when I was looking for love (twenty five odd years ago). In fact, there wasn't a World Wide Web yet. Now the Web seems to be the primary way of meeting people.

Glad to hear you've found someone, Mists, and that all is going well so far. My best to you both.

Mendalla

(I wish I had a father or an uncle for you Pilgrims Progress - I would love to be "related" to you :).

MistsOSpring  . . . all I would wish and hope for you, is that he is good to you and good to your daughter - respectful, caring, loving, kind, generous, honest, loyal, and unselfish.  That you and your daughter will not be hurt.  You are the best judge of that.  Wherever your relationship leads . . . (in the words of another ) . ..

"I hope life treats you kind,

and I hope you have all you've dreamed of.

And I wish you joy and happiness,

but above all this I wish you . . .

LOVE."

(Love with whomever is the right person for you).

Fair crack of the whip, Beloved!

  I was asking Mists if she had an uncle or a father - if you did, the said gentleman and I would both be old enough to set up our bridal gift register at a pharmacy.

I'm so happy for you Mists. If things work out can we all attend the "virtual wedding"!

Seriously though, take it slow, there's no hurry. Enjoy each others company and remember every relationship matters for whatever reason it is placed before us.