Alex , I am very sorry to hear this.  It is hard to lose a friend.  I can feel your tears and heart break.

Alex, that is such a tough situation to be in. My prayers are with you, Rob and Barry. Hugs to you.

Alex, sorry to hear this.  Losing one friend is hard enough.  *Hugs*

I'm holding you - and Barry and Rob - in my thoughts and in my heart Alex. I am so sorry. There are no other words. Hugs from me as well.

I'm so sorry Alex. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

These are the phone calls we all dread, Alex.

I'm so sorry.

I just talked to Rob and Barry . They were able to make it back to Ottawa on an Air Ambulance. 

I also have some good news. They are getting married tomorrow at the Hospital in Ottawa. I am going to be the best man. Which is good, but also reminds me that I am always the brides maid and never the bride.

i need to get something to wear.

great news.

what about one of those yellow t shirts with a big happy face on it.

And bring cake and flowers and boutineers

Glad to hear you will see them Alex.  so sorry you are dealing with such sadness

Sad & happy times, all mixed together ... such is life.  Sorry to hear of your recent losses and Barry's illness.  I'm glad he made it back to Ottawa ... truly, there's no place like home ... Dorothy had that right.   I'm sure you'll be a lovely bridesmaid!

Holding you all in my thoughts & prayers.  C.

I went out and bought a nice light blue jacket and dress pants at Value Village.  All i had that was dressy, was more suited for a funeral. i am not sure it looks sharp, but knowing my history of mix and matching things, perhaps it will at least give Barry and Rob a laugh.

I will see about cake  flowers and boutineers tomorrow. I did not think of those.

perhaps due to the circumstances, and the unlikely chance the grooms will be dressed up and that boutineers, might look out of place on a hospital gown, or t shirt, perhaps I should get a simple flower for each of the grooms. Any suggestions to the kind of flower? or colour, or would a boutineer be best?

Also where would I get a wedding cake at the last moment. Barry loves cake.

Go to your local grocery store with an instore bakery, get a carrot cake, have it appropriately lettered. A couple of simple red roses might be nice.

Prayers for peace and healing, Alex. It's always hard to lose friends. I'm losing one right now, and I'm hating the slipping away finality of it all. Cancer is a scourge and a curse in our generation, it seems.

I just talked to Barry and they have caterers taking care of everything. He just wants me to show up. He also wants me to come in the afternoon for a short visit to talk. He said he loved me, after I told him I had cancelled my vacation this week to PEI, and that I would be here in Ottawa, so that I could help him and Rob with anything.

He thought I was in PEI as scheduled this weekend, so that he why he had not called when he returned on Saturday. I had not called him or Rob, because I did not want to tire them knowing that Barry would be dealing with his cancer and his family.

A boutineer is never wrong.  A nice pair of carnations that they can both wear would be lovely but check that he hasn't bought them himself.

Have a happy day with them.  No matter what the circumstance, a wedding is joyful

Alex - I am so glad your friends made it home. How wonderful that they have chosen to get married.

If you're bringing flowers, I say - go with whatever their favourites are (either flower-wise or colour-wise) and keep it simple. I suspect this will be an extra emotional day for everyone - so perhaps bringing in extra tissues might be a good idea.

Alex...

Talk to a flower place ask about combining two small roses together intertwined One RED for LOVE and one WHITE for FRIENDSHIP. and how they intertwine combining to become the Ultimate Love of Marriage.

I did that for my wedding. Everyone loved them.

*Peace - Love - Respect - Humility* Unconditionally

Wolfie

Don't forget to bring a camera!

I am asking people to pray that Barry stays alert and conciuos enough so that he may be married tonight at 8pm

HUGS Alex....

May this be a joyous precious time for you and your friends.......

HUGS again....

Rita

my prayers are with you, and your friends.

best wishes tor the happy couple. and May God grant them and you a wonderful day.

I am off to the wedding. 

Our Spirits go with you Alex!

​*Peace - Love - Respect - Humility* Unconditionally

Wolfie

I'm holding you all in my thoughts Alex. This will indeed be a time of much mixed emotion.

Alex, I hope all went well - do let us know.

It was a gay wedding!

 Barry was in excellent spirits, although he came and stayed in a wheelchair type device and he was very gaunt. The wedding was held in a small room next to the cafeteria. i did not serve as best man, as Barry's sponsor from AA Clayton was able to. Which made me happy because I am not comfortable in rooms that are packed. It was actually thrilling and Rob cried when he repeated his vows, while Barry laughed. There were flowers and cake. 

And it was a NDP wedding.

Libby Davies presided over the ceremony and she did a great job. I sat with Paul Dewar. Ed Broadbent was there, as well as many current and past MPs and MPPs,  whom Rob had worked for. Jack Layton would have been there as Rob managed his riding campaign in the last election but as everyone knows is now also fighting cancer.  Rob is really well liked, having worked under him in campaigns he is really kind with people and runs no or little drama campaigns.

Both robs, and Barry's parents showed up,a long with 4 or 5 brother and sisters, and a few nieces and nephews. It was hard to speak to people , as I had trouble remembering most peoples names, unless I see them often. I also do not know what to say and particularly bad at small talk at times like these. With the NDPers I knew I could talk about politics, but with Barry's family all I could think of was to talk about Barry which is difficult. knowing all the family stories. Although one works for the reconciliation commission and i had something to talk about with her beside Barry.

I rode back with Clayton, who is not only Barry's sponsor , but for whom Robert, my partner who died 20 years ago was his sponsor in AA.  So we talked about Robert, on the way back as well as Barry.

Barry gave me a couple of hugs. I found it difficult at times, but mostly due to the fact that knew a lot of people, but could not remember most of their names, and I dislike crowed rooms.

hopefully I will be visiting Barry tomorrow. 

Alex - it sounds like the wedding was a very special experience. How wonderful that everyone could make it on such short notice! What an expression of support and love you all showed for Rob and Barry. Jack Layton may not have been there in person, but I'll bet he was there in spirit. Thank you for sharing this with us!

It sounds like a great, memorable wedding Alex!

Baryy also said I looked very sharp, so it was worth getting a nice pair of pants and jacket that fit.

Alex, you described a beautiful wedding.  I was at a lesbian wedding last weekend and I thought it the happiest wedding I've ever attended - the brides just radiant, the guests so varied and interesting.   This atmosphere at this wedding seems the same - filled with joy - except for the setting, and the list of impressive guests.  

Read more: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/life/bittersweet+wedding+longtime+partners/5264275/story.html#ixzz1VIkictVq

The Wedding Vows were very touching

Alex...

Thank You So VERY MUCH... for sharing both of your recent posts with us. They are beautiful and inspiring all at the same time.

It reinforces something I've always believed and hold to.  It isn't the quantity but the quality.

A moment of Pure Love. is just as fulfilling and meaningful as a Life time of Love.

​*Peace - Love - Respect - Humility* Unconditionally

Wolfie

Rob and Barry, before Barry's Illness.

It was moments like this, that made all of those years of going door to door, of lost elections, of fighting for gay rights and loosing. All of that was made worth it just so that these could could get married. I have lost so many friends in the past who did not get to brighten their days with a wedding.

What could possibility be so bad, that so many wanted to deny the happiness this wedding brought to these two. and their friends, in such dark times?

What a beautiful ceremony. What a beautiful couple. Thanks for sharing, Alex. 

(This awful disease is ravishing too many of us. I pray for all the gentle healing possible for these gentle people as they go through this terrible journey together.)

I just talked to Rob and he liked the story in the paper. He was relieved that they did not publish the other reporters article who was there. The other reporter was asking questions that inferred that he wanted to turn it into a political story, instead of one of love, and turning "towards light in times of darkness" .

Rob and Barry sounded happier than they have been all week. Barry was eating his first real food (A Hamburger and fries that Rob was eating) since his diagnoses. For there honeymoon last night they went outside, and Barry got his first breath of fresh air since they rolled him out of the air ambulance into the hospital ambulance.

Follow Rob and Barry example Love life, do not let it pass you by.  Turn to light not darkness.    Live in honesty, embrace who you are so that you too can love.

There is no day like today.

The Heart May Freeze Or It Can burn 
The Pain Will Ease If I Can Learn 
There Is no future 
There Is no past 
I Live this Moment As My Last 
There's Only Us 
There's Only This 
Forget.Regret. Or Life Is Yours To Miss 
No Other Road 
No Other Way 
No Day But Today 
There's Only Yes 
Only Tonight 
We Must Let Go 
To Know What is Alright 
No Other Course 
No Other Way 
No Day But Today 
I Cant control 
My destiny 
I Trust My Soul 
My only goal 
is just to be 
There' only Now 
There's Only Here 
Give in To Love 
Or Life in Fear 
No Other Path 
No Other Way 
No Day But Today

The words of Jonathan Larson.

Wonderful story Alex - thanks so much for sharing with us.  It was clearly a memorable day for everyone.

Alex, a wonderful story of how love triumphs over adversity, prejudice, and yes, terminal illness.

May Rob and Barry both find comfort and happiness in their love for one another.

I am off to see Barry and Rob at the Hospital. I hope I neither cry, nor hold back my feelings too much. I am always worried that at these types of vicitim, my own concerns do not overshadowed those of the people involved.

It has really helped that I have been able to talk about it with people on Wondercafe, as it provides me an opportunity to release my emotions, so that I am in better control when I see Rob and Barry.

Alex - it seems to me that Rob and Barry are really blessed to have a friend like you.

I had a wonderful visit with Barry. His health has stabilised enough that they might be able to move him to a Palliative care facility.  later this week. Barry and Rob are still thrilled about the marriage. I arrived just after Jack Layton called to give his best wishes on the marriage.  

Barry and I had a discussion about our different sisters and brother. I have meet many of his, and he has meet mine, and actually we stayed with my sister. He was feeling bad that he had not phoned her, when he passed through Sackville NB on his way to Halifax last week. He really adores my nephews. 

Rob was very impressed with everybody and he said that he and Barry were feeling like they had been wrapped in love for the last few days. People have very Good, and barry has been impressed with the number of people who were sending them there best from around the world.

The newspaper article has hit the gay blogs, with people sending Robs the links to stories written about how they are an inspiration to gay couples world wide.

Wedding pictures are to follow.

They truly are living in the moment and are very happy and happily married.

I'm curious, Alex...they have been together for a while....why the decision to marry.  

I can only surmise, I do not know what went through there minds when Rob and Barry decided.  Barry has only days or weeks left, and Rob told me that they had for a long time considered themselves married in every way but officially. So many of our friends were prevented by the law from getting married when they were alive, including Robs last boyfriend.  

Also as Libby Davies said while she was officiating at the wedding.

We are here, because they have discovered that in times of darkness - the only way forward is to find ways to look into the light.

For these two, gentle souls, their light shines in each other. That is why they welcome you all here today.

That makes sense, ...sometimes....there doesn't seem to be a rush, and then something happens.

I just think that someone obviously so in love with each other and in reltionship, well, the wedding must have meant something special ....

Thinking of you as you walk this path with your friends...take care, Alex.  You have had much loss in your life.

It seems to be a good decisions with good results. From my experience they and there families have some to be happy about and something to celebrate,the love and support Barry and Rob give each other,  and the wedding allows them to do so. Others I know who have died young are not so happy after a terminal diagnoses.

True, but I also understand that I have had so much more than others to loose, it means that I have lived and loved a lot more than many are able to. I am truly grateful for that. 

Live in the truth, Be not afraid, Accept yourself, and you too can love  in ways few will understand. Acceptance  without conditions, leads to unconditional love is what I learned when my partner died when I was 29, and it's what Jesus taught us all.